by C. G. Blaine
I tighten my hold on Hannah. “Would that be better or worse than threatening to throw you off the balcony?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Neither is acceptable.”
Her glare moves to the cocky blond on the other side of the kitchen, but Chaz just grins.
“I’ll go save her, beautiful.” He pushes off the counter, winking at her. “Want me to come back later, so we can sort through this shit?”
As much as I want to drop Hannah and myself back to the apartment, I nod. “We’ll hang around awhile.”
Chaz slaps Rosdan on the back and walks over to us. His head dips down to Hannah’s ear, and before I can pull her away, he says, “See you then,” and disappears.
Fucking pretty boy’s lucky I can’t kill him.
“Sorry about him,” Rosdan says, giving her a little smile. “We aren’t making the best first impressions.” He extends a hand to her. “I’m Rosdan, that was Chaz, and obviously, you’re Hannah.”
Anyone else, I might consider ripping their arm off, but I let her go when she pulls away to put her hand in his. I wander into the absolutely trashed living room to check my phone. Samy finally answered the text I’d sent both him and Chaz.
Sorry, dealing with my own demons here. Still need me?
Better late than never, I guess.
I send back, No. All good. Meeting at Ros’s later to make a plan.
Even with the craziness over, I don’t like not having Hannah close and go back to the kitchen. I hook my arm around her waist and check the screen for Samy’s response.
I’ll be there.
Hannah yawns, resting her head on my side.
“Since we have to wait for Chaz to come back, you mind if I take Hannah out to the guesthouse?”
“Go for it. I want to check on the kids again anyway, and then I get to play garbage man with a demon corpse.” He glances into the next room and sighs. “Think I should hire someone to clean tomorrow and tell Mark and Scarlett they decided to redecorate?”
“Or buy a new house and tell them they moved.”
He laughs and waves to Hannah on his way to the living room.
As we cross the backyard, Hannah’s crashing hard. I don’t even bother turning on the lights, heading her straight for the extra bedroom. Her adrenaline’s wearing off, but I’m still warm enough to drop back to the apartment and find two of my T-shirts. One for her to sleep in and one for myself because, yet again, the one I’m wearing has fallen victim to fireballs. Fucking need a new wardrobe if this shit keeps up much longer.
The moon shining in through the window gives me an incredible view of her breasts while she pulls on the shirt. So incredible that I tug my burned one over my head and crawl into the bed with her.
“You’re staying?”
I yank her over to me. “They can call whenever Chaz and Samy get here.”
But once my mouth finds hers and my hands find her skin, I won’t be answering my phone even if they do. The last of my three T-shirts lands on the area rug. I plan to kiss every part of her I thought about while trading arcs for fireballs, which happens to be every fucking inch. I lose focus, though, my teeth tugging her bottom lip into my mouth so I can suck on it. She sighs, and not so tired anymore, she shoves me onto my back and climbs on top of me. I groan at the feel of her lips on me, almost better than mine on her.
“God, I love you.” It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud—ever—and light shoots down my spine.
Hannah pulls back, and I sit up so we’re chest-to-chest. She blinks her wide eyes at me while my skin warms hers. “You do?”
I slide my fingers down the hair falling over her bare shoulder. “Completely,” I tell her.
She smiles, and even though I already know, it’s not until she says, “I love you too,” that I finally feel it.
Complete.
The message comes through in the middle of the night. I ease my arm out from under Hannah’s head, careful not to wake her. On my way through Ros’s living room, I pull on my fully intact shirt. The breeze blows warm outside, and for the first time since Florida, I steal a look at the stars. They have nothing on Hannah.
Even though he said he’d be here, I’m nearly shocked that he walks around the corner of the main house.
I’ll hate myself for it later, but I throw my arms around him. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
“Me too, brother,” Samy says. “Now get off, or the other two might see and think you’re open to hugs now.”
I chuckle, taking a few steps back. He sounds more like himself than the last time I talked to him, a hint of authority back in his voice. His blond hair is the same as it’s been for decades. But even in the shitty suburban moonlight, his eyes hold their usual level of guilt.
“Your charge safe?” I ask.
He nods. “Sorry I couldn’t come earlier. I wouldn’t have known where in Seattle to drop to anyway. I had to dig out the Christmas card Ros sent to find the address.” His eyes do a sweep, checking out the place. “Is he a fucking nanny?”
I smile, shaking my head. “Are you sticking around this time? Or are you going to crawl back into your hole? Because we need you. These demons are not backing off.”
“And we still think it’s because they want us out of the way?”
It goes against everything in me not to tell him Ros’s and my theory. He’s been my leader for millennia and my family since our beginning. So, I skirt around the question by redirecting. “Any better ideas?”
His eyes squint. “You look different. Less annoyed.”
“Doubt it.” But he’s right. Partly at least—I’m just as annoyed as ever. I half-smile though. “I may have fallen in love with my charge.”
Samy loses all expression. “Come again?”
“She’s incredible. And frustrating. And I can’t stand her. And I can’t live without her. And—”
“Live?” he interrupts. “What happened to you can’t be alive because you’ll never die?”
I’ve said this to him on many occasions. Usually, I’m drunk and staring at the stars, wishing I felt like I were a part of something still. “She changed that.”
His eyebrows draw in. He’s concerned about my sanity, no doubt. He starts to say something but stops at the sound of footsteps.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the son of a bitch who can’t return a text in a timely fashion.” Chaz shoulders past me from behind to get to Samy.
They slap each other on the backs, trading jabs.
Rosdan steps beside me. “So, he’s back?”
“Looks like it.” We both keep staring straight ahead, and I lower my voice enough so that the other two can’t hear us. “The demon never even looked at the triplets upstairs. He went straight for Hannah.”
“And with Donny the Destroyer leading the charge…”
Neither of us bothers finishing the thought. We both know. They want a Nephilim to read from the Book of the Speech from God and end the world. At least, the chances of that being the case have skyrocketed over the past few hours.
“I don’t think we tell them,” he says.
I look over at that, not disagreeing but surprised as hell that, of all my brothers, it’s Rosdan pushing for secrecy.
He turns toward me with an unsettled expression on his face. “The motivation to keep our charges safe stays unchanged regardless of why demons are attacking. Whether they want to kill our Nephilim to get rid of us or kill our Nephilim by destroying the world, our main objective remains the same.”
“Keep our charges alive.”
“Exactly.” He moves, so Chaz and Samy can’t see him talking. “They’ll fight to keep their charges alive because it’s what they’ve always done. They don’t need another reason.”
My gaze drifts to the guesthouse where Hannah’s sleeping. Someone so innocent to everything Heaven and Hell, and yet she poses a risk to all of mankind. If anyone in charge of carrying out the master plan
finds out, they’ll come for her. Alistair too. They’ll sacrifice every last Nephilim to keep the design moving forward without interruption.
“He’s just a kid, Kasdaye.” Rosdan proves once again that we’re on the same wavelength, his focus on a dark window on the second story of the house. “I can’t let them hurt him. Heaven or Hell.”
I check on the other two, caught up in their own conversation, and drop my voice even more. “We play dumb about the BOSG. You three use the new protection spell on your charges. And you and I do whatever the fuck it takes to make sure no one else finds out Nephilim can read from the book.”
Relieved I’m on board, Rosdan blows out a breath and nods. “It stays between us,” he says, reaffirming our pact.
Before he tries to hug me or something, I pull out my cigarettes. I offer him one and toss over the lighter after I light mine. He fumbles it, nearly dropping it to the ground, and I shake my head.
“God help me when I’m keeping secrets with the Cursed One, yeah?”
Hannah stays asleep when I climb back into bed. I slide my arm under her and hold her close. Needing her against my chest so I can sleep is one of the only things that hasn’t changed with her. I doubt it ever will.
My mind starts to drift until my chest warms. At first, I think she’s having a nightmare, but the heat seems almost lazy as it spreads through me, not gaining or losing intensity. Only enough for my palm to emit a weak glow.
I slip my hand down the neck of Hannah’s shirt. Her heart beats a slow, steady rhythm even though I can notice a difference in the temperature of our skin. My hand stays there, waiting for an increase. My eyes stay open, scanning for any potential danger. But the hours pass without anything. No rise in her pulse, no portals, and no change of the light settled inside me.
In all of my existence, I’ve never not wanted to feel the light of Heaven flowing through my veins. I’ve spent my time on Earth desperate for even a little bit of it to stay unwavering. But right now, I’d give anything for it to go away.
Because it can only mean one thing.
The danger to Hannah just became constant.
The morning after the attack, I wake up at the apartment. The other side of the bed is cold, but it doesn’t bother me like it once would have. Cass left my phone on his pillow, and I check the messages.
Helping Ros with something. Sorry about the babysitter.
And happy birthday, baby.
I smile at the add-on, but it fades when something in the apartment crashes.
“Goddamn it!” The voice is husky and not one I recognize.
I pull on a pair of jeans and change out Cass’s shirt for one of my own before I venture to see exactly who he’s sorry to have left me with. When I get to the kitchen, Chaz spins around. He gives me a once-over and nods approvingly. “You look good in the morning, Kelley.”
“Thanks?” I slide onto a barstool at the counter.
The microwave beeps, and he pops the door open. “Cass said to feed you. Like I cook or something.” He pulls out a heated breakfast burrito and sets the plate in front of me. “Oh, hold on.” After opening and closing four drawers, he drops a fork on the counter. “Bon appétit, ma chérie.”
“Merci, monsieur.”
He winks, tossing another burrito in to heat before he pours me a cup of coffee.
“Cass is in Seattle?” I ask.
He slides me the mug and lifts his own off the counter, leaning back beside me. “He’s helping Rosdan set up everything he needs for the protection spell. Since he needs to enchant five items at once, it needs a little tweaking. Otherwise, the guy would be chanting for three days. Cass wasn’t sure if you’d want to be alone after last night.”
I don’t. Not even with a protection spell on the apartment and the very effective ring on my finger.
“How did he get back if I was asleep?” Or get us here for that matter.
“Hold on. He left instructions on how to answer that.” Chaz holds his cell phone in front of his face and clears his throat. “He said, Shrug and tell her to eat her breakfast.”
I roll my eyes. Dismissive and bossy, and he’s not even on the same side of the country. “And I assume you’re torturing your charge again to be here?”
He shrugs. “Eat your breakfast.”
My eyes narrow at him while I take a bite, but he just grins. I chew and study him. Between the three of them I’ve met, he’s the odd man out. Rosdan and Cass have dark hair and dimples even though Rosdan’s are less pronounced. But Chaz is blond, dimpled chin, bright blue eyes.
“Falling in love with me, beautiful?”
“No, I was just thinking how you look nothing like the other two.”
He snorts. “A compliment if I’ve ever heard one.”
“What about Samy?” I ask. “I always picture him like a less mean version of Cass.”
He shakes his head. “Opposite in looks and personality. Samy looks more like me but less roguishly handsome. So, if you’re thinking of trading in for a better model, I’m the one you want. Definitely not Ros.”
I laugh. “I’ll stick to the broody version. Thank you though.”
Now he’s studying me with soft eyes plenty of girls have probably become lost in.
“Falling in love?” I ask. “Because I don’t think Cass is the sharing type.”
“No, and you’re right. He’s not.” His gaze brushes over my face again. “It’s just … this may be the least temperamental Kasdaye has ever been. He’s actually happy for once. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s all because of a Nephilim.”
“Thanks,” I say dryly.
He chuckles, his entire face lighting up with his smile. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s a good thing.” He takes a sip of coffee but holds up a finger while he swallows to warn me of an afterthought. “Unless he does something stupid because of you. Like become mortal. God, that would be a disaster.”
Now he’s completely lost me. “Become mortal?”
“The only other way out of Nephilim duty.” He leans back on the counter.
“I thought you only turn human if you fail.”
“No, failing means you suffer through a human life and sit outside the gates forever. If we ask to be human, we have as much of a chance to go to Heaven as you. But we won’t be angels anymore when we get there.”
I set down my fork, even more confused. “If it means you get to go home, why haven’t you all done that already?”
“Ask to be human?” He stares at me like I’ve offended him. “Because we’re angels. The light of Heaven has flowed through us since we were brought into existence. Divinity is not something you willingly give up. Ever. You fight like hell for it.”
“But if you fail, you lose it anyway. Then you can’t get into Heaven at all.”
“Trust me,” he says. “It’s worth the risk. Unless you’ve experienced it, you can’t understand. It’s…” He looks to the floor for a second, and his eyes come back with a Cass-level of seriousness in them. “Once you’ve known the divine light, never experiencing it again would be worse than ceasing to exist. Nothing can ever take away the pain brought on by its absence. The void is always there. Every. Fucking. Second.” He stretches out his fingers, and a dim glow appears on his fingertips. “There are a lot of seconds in eternity, Hannah. A few thousand years is nothing if there’s even a small chance to feel it again.”
I’m not sure how to respond to his answer. How to even feel about it. Any time I’ve thought about a future with Cass, my concerns have revolved around the fact that I’ll age year after year while he remains the gorgeous specimen he’s always been. But maybe I should have been concerned with something else entirely.
In books and movies, the girl falls in love with an immortal and is given the choice of ending her human life to be with them. Except, in our case, I wouldn’t have to die to be with Cass. He would have to live to be with me. From the sounds of it, that means sacr
ificing a hell of a lot more. It would require Cass to give up everything that makes him … Cass.
The microwave beeps, and Chaz slaps the button. He bites into the burrito and makes a disgusted face, chewing. “Fuck that. We’re going out for breakfast.” A dark blond eyebrow cocks at me. “You know where the keys for the bike are?”
I automatically look at the set on the counter. His eyes flash to them, and a mischievous smile appears. The question isn’t whether I’ll regret going on the bike with him, but how long it will take.
I have the answer by the time we make it out of the parking lot.
Despite all the time I’ve spent behind Cass, speeding through the streets, Chaz somehow makes the experience of passenger even more terrifying. Cass should be getting a power boost on every turn while my life flashes before my eyes. It makes me forget all about being another year older because, soon I’ll be skidding across the concrete at a hundred miles per hour, and it won’t matter.
The second he parks at a diner, I scramble off. “You realize what happens if you kill me, right?”
He chuckles and leans the bike on the kickstand. “What do you want to bet those’ll be the first words out of Cass’s mouth too?” His hand shoves into his pocket and comes out with his phone. He barely answers, immediately pulling it away from his face and grinning ear to ear.
I won, he mouths.
I laugh, heading inside with him following behind.
After watching Chaz consume half my body weight in pancakes, he terrorizes me more on the way back to the apartment. When we get upstairs, Cass is waiting for us in the living room. His glare lands on me first and then on Chaz, who stops short like he hit a wall.