She didn’t seem to melt, or smile, or even flutter her eyelashes like before.
“I have to go.” Dawn stepped away. “I’m going to eat lunch with my sister.”
He did so not want to hear that.
“You tell Leslie to stop saying bad things about me in front of you.” He tried to temper his coarse tone with a pleasant smile. “She doesn’t know me like you do.”
“Would you leave Leslie out of this? You’re always going on and on about her. You’re dating me, remember?” Dawn pointed, in an uncharacteristically assertive way. “And she isn’t putting anything in my head. You’re the one making me second guess our relationship, not her.”
Dawn stomped away, leaving Beau at the entrance to the cafeteria, dumbfounded. He tried to figure out what had happened to the girl he had under his thumb. His grip on Dawn wasn’t what it used to be, and it was all Leslie’s fault.
Why were all his problems boiling down to one rebel with the same face as Dawn?
* * *
Outside, under the canopy of blue sky, Dawn gripped her brown paper bag to her chest. She crossed the quad to the picnic benches set up beneath a few old oaks, offering shade from the strong sun.
The encounter with Beau left her heart a jumbled mess. Jealousy, betrayal, sadness, and a throbbing ache was all she felt for the guy. He used to make her toes tingle, her heart swell in her chest, and her feet as light as air. What had happened to them?
Ahead on a bench, Derek and Leslie cuddled together smiling and laughing. Love just oozed from them. She admired the way Derek caressed her sister’s cheek, touched her hand, gazed into her eyes. It was genuine—real honest to goodness love and nothing like she had with Beau. She almost felt like an intruder, but she really needed the company and her sister’s ear.
“Can I join you guys?”
Derek’s eyebrows went up. “Sure.” He pushed over on the bench for Dawn to sit down. “Happy to have you.”
Dawn angrily tossed her bag on the table. “Glad someone wants me around.”
Leslie’s eyebrow went up. “That doesn’t sound good.”
Dawn suddenly didn’t want to bring down their lunch. Her sister and Derek seemed so happy together. “Do you guys ever argue?”
Her sister opened her bottle of water. “Sometimes. No relationship is perfect.”
“But when you make up, is the argument over, or does it keep coming back?” Dawn retrieved her sandwich from her bag.
Derek rested his arms on the table, frowning. “I don’t understand.”
Dawn searched for how to explain what arguments with Beau were like: a continuous rehashing of the same problems, always his problems with her, but never her problems with him.
“It’s like you’re playing a recording over and over. You try to offer solutions, but the recording doesn’t register your solutions or even your opinions. It just replays the same words, and you can never change them, no matter how hard you try.”
“Then walk away.” Leslie unwrapped her hearty turkey sandwich. “If the other person in a relationship isn’t listening to you, then they don’t care about your feelings.”
Derek took Leslie’s hand. “I like listening to Leslie’s advice and taking it.”
Dawn noted the way her sister and Derek touched each other, spoke to each other in soft voices, and appeared so connected. Why had she never experienced such intimacy with Beau?
Leslie chuckled. “Sometimes you take my advice.”
He let her go and picked up a bag of potato chips. “Well, sometimes you don’t give the best advice.”
Her sister inspected her sandwich. “Neither do you.”
Derek threw a chip at Leslie. She snapped it up and stuffed into her mouth.
Derek laughed and kissed her cheek.
If she had told Beau he gave bad advice, he would have blown a gasket. Then again, he expected her to take his advice and never question it.
What to wear, what to say, how much to drink, and how he didn’t like the makeup she wore. He even commented when she gained a few pounds. It had made her so terrified of putting on weight, she became regimented in her diet.
Her lettuce and tomato sandwich on low-calorie wheat bread was what Beau wanted her to eat, not what she wanted. She put her sandwich down, her appetite waning.
“Guess what?” Leslie tapped the table to get her attention. “Derek is going to the game with me. We’re going to cheer you on.”
She’d missed having her sister in her life. Ever since Beau had entered it, she had felt empty. The close bond with Leslie had frayed, but it was coming back, and she was glad. They could start over.
“So, who’s this girl?” Leslie asked Derek.
Dawn perked up, always interested in gossip. “What girl?”
“Kelly, from Covington High.” Derek leaned into the table. “When I gave my mom a ride to Mo’s Saturday night for her shift, she told me Sheriff Davis reported a girl had been picked up by his men. She’d been beaten up and was coming from a party on the river.”
Dawn shivered. The river. What the hell?
“That can’t be true.” She picked up her sandwich, her appetite renewed. “I’m at the river all the time. I’ve never seen anything bad happen to anyone.”
Derek popped the can on his soda. “Taylor Haskins confirmed a lot of crazy stuff goes on at the river. She swore she was never going back.”
“Taylor said that?” Dawn couldn’t understand it. Taylor was her friend—or had been. Since she’d quit the squad, Dawn hadn’t seen much of her.
“She never mentioned anything about it to me.” Dawn sat back, holding her sandwich, too stunned to eat. Had she been so blind to miss bad things going on at the river? “Why have I never heard any of this before?”
Leslie reached for her hand. “Maybe Beau didn’t want you to know.”
The shade closed in around her. Dawn stood. “I gotta go.”
She grabbed her lunch bag and hurried from the table.
It was as if a deluge of ice water surrounded her face and limbs. Every movement labored, every breath an effort, she didn’t know where to turn or what to do. She scurried for the warmth of the sun wanting relief from the cold. She swore all eyes were on her as she made it across the quad.
I’m gonna kill him!
Chapter Twenty-Two
With the confining walls of St. Benedict High behind her, Leslie relaxed in her car, breathing in the humid honeysuckle-tinged air that blew in her window. She couldn’t wait until the high school was a memory and the prison-like atmosphere created by Beau no longer existed. The only bright spot in her life—the wonderful guy in the seat next to her.
Unlike most days, he’d been relatively quiet during the ride, only engaging with her when she asked certain questions about classes or homework assignments they shared.
“What is it?” she finally demanded after a long silence. “You haven’t said much.”
Derek kept his eyes on the road. “I’ve been trying to come up with ways to get my mother out of the diner. I’d like to see her settled in a new, better job before I go to college, but I don’t know how to help her, or even what she can do. All I know is, she works too hard.”
“Maybe I could talk to my dad. He might know someone who could help her find a job.”
Leslie turned down his street.
The wrinkles in his brow eased as his eyes radiated a brilliant warmth. “You would do that?”
The question knocked her for a loop. Of course she would do that. Didn’t he know how much she cared for him?
“Why wouldn’t I? Your mother is my family, too. I want to help her in any way I can.”
She pulled up to the curb in front of his driveway and put the car into park.
Derek cupped her face. “You’re the most extraordinary girl. I love you with all my heart, Leslie Moore. Do you know that?”
The hardships of her life, the pain, the worry, all melted from existence when he spoke those words. A sensation of freedom a
nd the strength to overcome all odds flowed through her. She could conquer the world with him by her side.
“I love you, too, Derek. I could never picture my life with anyone else.”
His forehead pressed against hers, he closed his eyes, as if praying. “Every day it’s getting harder and harder to wait for you. I want you so much it hurts.”
She took his hands and squeezed them, hoping to impart how his frustrations were hers. She longed to share every part of herself, but Leslie didn’t want their love consummated in the back seat of her car or on his mother’s living room sofa.
“I want you too, but until we have a place of our own, to take our time, we’ll have to wait. Until then, we have high school to keep us occupied.”
His rumbling chuckle sent a shiver through her as his lips brushed her forehead. “Yes, the trials of sex-obsessed, underwhelmed, electronically preoccupied, career-challenged, confused, and sometimes confounding temperamental teenagers will no doubt keep us occupied until June.”
She loved how his mind worked. “After that, we’ll have college.”
He sighed against her. “You’re going to kill me.” He pulled away. “Thanks for helping me with my mom.”
“Thank me after we see if my dad can help.”
Leslie headed down Derek’s street, and his house grew smaller in her rearview mirror. She fought the urge to turn her car around and return to his side.
Why not sleep with him? He loves you.
With every passing day, her determination to wait weakened. She was in love, in a committed relationship, and trusted him more than anyone. Perhaps it was time to find a private place for their special night together. But where would they go? There weren’t a lot of choices for two broke teenagers in St. Benedict other than the river.
And I’d rather die a virgin than go there.
* * *
With jittery excitement, Leslie shut the door to her father’s study. She traced the swirls of grain on the darkly stained wood, going over their conversation about Derek’s mom. Her father had encouraged her to help others, and even though she didn’t see much hope for Carol Foster’s job hunt—especially in the small town of St. Benedict—her father’s enthusiasm to join in the search encouraged her.
“I’ll make a few calls and see what I can do,” he had told her.
With a spring in her step, she couldn’t wait to get upstairs and text Derek. To be able to bring him some hope for his mother’s future, and lighten his worries, lifted her heart.
She reached the cushy carpet covering the second-floor landing and was about to make her way to her room when she spied Dawn’s ajar door. The lights were out, but pitiful sobbing came from within. The sounds made all her good vibes vanish.
Some sister I am.
So caught up in Derek’s concerns about his mom, she’d never bothered to check in with Dawn.
She knocked on the door. “Dawn? Are you okay? It’s me.”
Rustling grew behind the door, and then Dawn’s face appeared in the crack.
Her red nose hurt Leslie’s heart, but what distressed her more was the sadness in her sister’s eyes.
Dawn sniffled as she pulled the door open a little more. “Do you think I’m a fool?”
Leslie pushed her way inside and held her sister in her arms, feeling even more like a wretch for ignoring her. “You’re not a fool, Dawn. He’s the bad guy here. He lied to you.”
Dawn slinked away, wiping her nose on her shirtsleeve. “You knew what he was and tried to warn me, but I never listened.” She marched back to her princess bed. “I should have seen it like you did.” She snapped up a tissue from the box sitting on her pink comforter. “Some twin I am.”
Leslie went to her side. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” She slapped her bed. “Part of me wants to break up, but another part doesn’t want to be without a boyfriend. Especially with the big Halloween river bash coming up. I always dreamed of going.” She raised her eyes to her sister. “Sounds stupid, huh?”
Leslie sat next to her, determined to make her sister smile.
“It’s not stupid. And if you want to go to the party so much, go with me. Me and Derek. We’ll be your dates. You don’t need Beau.”
A sharp twinge tore across her chest. She shuddered at the image of The Abbey’s tall spires, but her sister’s happiness was more important than her fears. She had to make the sacrifice for Dawn and go to the river. Maybe it would turn out to be a good thing. If Dawn could envision a life without Beau, then perhaps she would give him up and start anew.
Dawn crumpled up the tissue. “But you hate the river.”
Leslie put her arm around her, feeling closer to her twin than she had in almost a year. “I can tolerate it for one night. If Derek is with me, it will be different than before. Who knows? I might even have fun. We both might.”
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Beau is gonna die if he sees me there and I’m not with him.”
Leslie nudged her shoulder. “He’ll have to go through me first to get to you. And I’m not going to let him touch you. Remember what we always believed as kids—together we’re stronger than apart.”
Dawn wrapped her arms around her and all the fighting and snapping over the past few months melted away.
“What would I do without you?”
Leslie held her close. “You’ll never have to find out. We’ll be together for life.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Beau counted down the seconds in his head. Then the blare of the last bell of the day echoed throughout the halls of St. Benedict High. He scurried from his uncomfortable desk and hauled ass from his English Lit class. In the halls, Beau fist-bumped other guys in red cougar jerseys and shared an enthusiastic whoop. The biggest game of his life was hours away.
You’re gonna wish you had stuck with me, Dawn.
Her brush off all week had been the only downer. He didn’t want to let go. Sure, she looked like Leslie—who he wanted more with every passing day—but Dawn had also helped sustain his good-boy image. The squeaky-clean daughter of John Moore gave him the respectability he craved. Corrupting her had been a satisfying fuck you to his parents, who had deemed her worthy to date, but the week without her at his side in the halls had sent the gossip fanatics into overtime. He had to win her back soon if only to lose her in a very public fight so he could walk away clean.
At his locker, Mitch and Josh greeted him with high fives.
“Are you guys ready for the big game against Covington High?”
“I’m more than ready.” Josh shifted his gaze to Mitch. “You ever call Lindsey to meet up after the game?”
Mitch nodded. “Yeah, she’s comin’ with Beverly. They’re gonna join us at the river.”
“Who’s Lindsey?” Beau asked.
“Lindsey, the girl from Covington High? You gave her a ride home?” Josh reminded him. “She was with her friend Beverly.”
He waved off the conversation. “Who cares about those girls? We got a big game ahead of us. Focus, guys!”
“Beau?”
Mrs. Evers, the stout, middle-aged head of the English department, came up to his locker.
He turned to her, putting on his standard teacher smile—the one he used whenever he spoke to the faculty.
“Yes, Mrs. Evers. How can I help you, ma’am?”
She nodded to Mitch and Josh. “I just wanted to thank you for all the extra work you put in on the school newspaper last week. We just put the issue to bed and it’s really wonderful.”
Damn right it is. Busted my ass on it.
“I’m so glad you’re pleased. I wanted to make it the best it could be.”
“Keep up the good work.” She leaned in and winked at him. “And good luck tonight. All the faculty is cheering for you to make a great show for the scout.”
He tilted his head in his best aww shucks, beguiling pose and deepened his smile. “That means so much, Mrs. Evers. Thank you and thank the other faculty member
s as well.” He gripped his fist, attempting to look invigorated and not pissed off. “Go, cougars.”
The most boring English teacher he had ever had to endure clenched her right hand and pumped it in the air, appearing comical.
“Go, cougars!”
After she walked away, Mitch patted his back. “Dude, you got them brainwashed.”
“No, not brainwashed.” Beau went back to his locker. “You keep asking me how I win people over.” He shoved a book in his locker. “That’s how. I kiss ass around here and do a ton of work I don’t need to do, but it pays off. Mrs. Evers is tight with my dad and gives him reports on my school work. I keep her happy; he stays off my back.”
Josh rubbed his chin, his eyes scrunched together. “And I thought it was just your sparkling personality. Dayum!”
Mitch ignored Josh and rested his shoulder on the locker next to Beau’s. “What’s goin’ on with you and Dawn? Haven’t seen you two hangin’ together all week. Word around school is she’s blowin’ you off.”
“That’s bullshit.” His entire body became wracked with tension. “We’re still together. Since when have the people around here gotten anything right? They don’t know me or my life.”
This was all he needed. He had more important things on his mind than Dawn, but he also didn’t like people thinking she had ended it. He would have to fix that ASAP.
Josh leaned in next to Mitch. “Shame you never scored with that girl the cops picked up. What was her name?”
“Kelly, wasn’t it?” Mitch added.
Images of Kelly’s tears and soft cries sent a fiery wave of lust crashing into his groin. Beau slammed his locker door.
“Guys, I need my mind on football, not on girls.”
“Dude, you need to chill.” Mitch slapped his back.
What he really needed was to find another girl and fast. He was jonesing for the sweet rush of power he’d gotten from taking Kelly. Every day, his need for more pain competed with his ability to keep up his well-practiced mask. He had never known such desire for anything in life, even football. How could something be so delicious and so devastating at the same time? He was like a heroin junkie hiding their addiction while struggling to show the world how normal they were.
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