CARA
We had finally found lingerie in black that I liked and got the makeup I wanted. After some lunch, we were heading back to the house.
“Hanna, can you do my makeup for me?” I asked while driving home.
“What do you want from it, Cara?” I had to think about this.
“I want my eyes to pop. Maybe you could do something cool with the black and gray colors that I got. I want it to look good with the red lipstick.” I looked out of the corner of my eye to catch Hanna make a strange face.
“What’s the deal with the negligee and the new makeup Cara?”
“I want to spice things up.” That was the right thing to say.
“Just don’t get too excited about this change Cara.” What the hell does that mean? We arrived at the house and I brought in all my bags. I even purchased a killer new pair of heels.
Hanna spent the next few hours fixing my hair and doing my makeup. By the time she was done I looked in the mirror. I looked hot. I loved it. Well, it was a big change. I hope that Jordan would like it too.
I talked with Hanna for a little longer and then she had to leave to finish a project. I decided to then clean the bedroom up again. I wanted everything to be perfect.
I made sure the bed was made just right. I put candles in the room in certain places. I cleaned up the rest of the house and made dinner. I checked the time again and it was only a little after six. I sent a message to Jordan, but he didn’t reply back.
“Maybe he was going to be late again.” I decided I didn’t want the food to get cold. I only ate a small amount and saved the rest. I then cleaned up the kitchen and put away the leftovers.
I sent him another message and waited for him to reply. This time, he said he would be leaving soon. I went into the bedroom and changed. I put on the lingerie and the heels. I went into the bathroom and checked my makeup. I looked flawless.
I sat on the bed after I lit the candles in the room. I’m hoping this will bring us closer together. It’s almost eight when I hear the door open. I just wait for Jordan to come into the bedroom. I had turned off all the lights in hopes that direct him to me.
My heart pounds in my chest when the door opens. He walks in and instead of excitement Jordan takes a long look at me. His eyes check out my entire body and I can tell something's wrong.
“What’s up with the outfit and makeup?” He crosses his arms over his chest. I was hoping he would be excited and playful.
“I thought you would like this. I think I look sexy.” His forehead then shows deep lines as he shakes his head.
“Wash it off Cara, it’s not you. I don’t like it.” Excuse me.
“You don’t want me? I can get you in the mood.” I try at teasing him.
“No, go wash off the makeup and change.” My heart drops to my chest. He doesn’t like it. How could he not like it? He keeps that book up in his office. I’ve seen all the photos. I know he likes women who look like this.
“But.” I try to plead with him.
“Cara, I’m going upstairs to my computer.” I jump off the bed and run into the bathroom locking the door behind me. I try to swallow my tears until I hear the bedroom door slam.
I let my tears fall down my face ruining the beautiful makeup I have on. Pulling out what I need I wash my face removing the work Hanna did. I’m disappointed that Jordan wasn’t pleased with me. Once my face is clean and makeup free I take my shoes off. I discard my lingerie and put them all in a bag in the bathroom.
“What a waste of money and effort.” I decide to jump in the shower and I scrub my body raw. At some point, I was expecting Jordan to come knocking on the door, but he never did. I finish and put on one of my nightgowns and go in search of him.
I’m surprised when I exit the bedroom I don’t smell any heated up leftovers. I wonder what he has eaten for dinner. I soften my steps and walk a little up the stairs and I begin to listen.
“She’s crazy. I don’t know what to do with her anymore. All I know is that I can’t have this in my life.” Is he talking about me? I take another step just to peek at him.
He’s sitting in his chair with that damn book open. My heart plummets into my stomach. Is he talking about me?
“She’s an annoying bitch and I can’t have that in my life. I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Look right now won’t be a good time for me to handle her.” He is talking about me.
I go back down the stairs and climb into bed. I don’t know how long I lay there crying all alone.
JORDAN
“Seriously dude, you need to take care of this shit.” Ryan was reminding me. I looked at the pages in the book again. Cara tried to replicate this. I felt sick.
The woman I came home to was not my Cara. She looked so different and I didn’t like it. I like her just the way she is. That’s the woman I’m in love with, not some made up doll.
“I know I need to handle Niki. It’s just not that easy man. I get that she’s being a bitch, but what do you want me to do.” I let out a breath. I needed to get this over with soon. I wanted to go talk with Cara.
“I don’t, but unless you still have feelings for her then she has to be told off. Jordan you keep playing with both of them like this and Cara will run away from you. I don’t think you have the pull to fix that. Trust me, losing the woman you are in love with isn’t a great feeling. Especially if you can never have her back.”
I hate what he was telling me. I’ve known for years that something happened to him with a woman. He’s just never mentioned who she is. Every time I have asked in the past he would make it clear not to bring it up again.
“Thanks, Ryan.” I hang up the phone. I had eaten a late lunch and I wasn’t hungry. I shut the lights off and headed to bed.
When I opened the bedroom door Cara was almost laying on the other side of the bed. She never slept that far away from me. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into the bed. I reached my hand over to touch her.
“Cara?”
“Don’t touch me!” She yelled at me. I was in shock that she was yelling at me.
“Cara, can we talk?” She scooted further from me.
“I’m tired and don’t want to talk. Just go to bed.” I let it alone and turned off the light. Maybe in the morning, she will talk to me. I want to explain myself.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
I woke to Cara being gone. There was a note next to my phone in her pretty writing.
Jordan,
I don’t want to disturb you, but I went for a walk with the puppies. I don’t know when I will be back. I know you will be gone when I get home. I hope you have a good day.
Cara
I grabbed my phone and proceeded to call her, but it just went to voicemail. I decided to get up and get ready for the day. I then ended up in the kitchen and I sent her a message.
7:48am Me:
Hey pretty girl, I just wanted to know if you would like me to make you breakfast. When are you coming home?
7:52am Cara:
I’m not coming back until you leave
7:53am Me:
Why not?
7:55am Cara:
I have nothing nice to say to you and I’m upset with you.
7:56am Jordan:
I want to talk about last night.
7:59am Cara:
You said all that you wanted to say and there’s nothing more to talk about.
I tried to call her, but she didn’t answer again. I was pissed off now. I redialed her number hoping that maybe on my second try that she would answer. All I got was her voicemail.
“Cara Mia, answer your damn phone or call me back right now.” I take a deep breath. I can still track her phone from mine, but I don’t want to invade her privacy right now. All that would do is push her way.
I wait almost an hour and decide to leave. I can’t stay in the house and wait for her all day.
CARA
It’s been an hour since Jordan told me he was leaving. I called Amber and beg
ged her to come to the house. Part of me wanted to pack up some of my things and see if I could stay a few nights at her house.
I went back to the house and was pacing for what felt like forever. I had made a mistake before Amber arrived and scratched at my scars.
“She’s going to be mad at me.” I tried to write in my journal, but every time I picked up my pen I didn’t know what to say. I was standing at the door when Amber arrived.
“Okay, chill out I’m here. What’s the big emergency?” I had poorly bandaged my fingers because I was crying. My first thought was to show her my hand. “What the fuck Cara?”
“I…I made a mistake. Can…(hiccup)…you help…(hiccup)…me?” She took me into the bathroom and I used my stool to sit on the counter.
She helped clean up my fingers and then properly bandaged them. She wasn’t gentle about it and never spoke to me. It wasn’t until she was done that I realized how bad this was.
“You have some explaining to do. First, you call me upset and demand that I come over. Now you show me your fingers all fucking messed up. Does Jordan know you scratched at them?” Panic set in.
“I…I…” I took in a deep breath. “I don’t think he will care.”
“What the hell? This is Jordan we’re talking about of course he will care. What makes you think for a second that he won’t?” I began to chew on my bottom lip. Amber hissed at me and began to tap her foot. She stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.
“Check that bag.” I pointed to the bag on the floor. She pulled out the makeup bag, then the lingerie. She spent a moment checking it out and then looked at the shoes.
“Who’s are these?” She was still holding the items in her hands.
“Mine, I wore them last night and Jordan didn’t like them. He told me to wash off my makeup.” I pulled out my phone. I had taken a picture before Jordan came home. I was impressed with how I looked.
“I don’t see anything wrong.” Amber brought her eyes up to meet mine.
“What’s wrong is I’m not her.”
“Not her who, Cara.” I hopped off the counter and walked into the bedroom. I grabbed the scrapbook and turned to the page I marked.
She began to look at the pictures over and over. I was ashamed that I tried to pull off something that Niki had done, but what was I supposed to do.
“Why would you try to look like her Cara? I think you are gorgeous just the way you are.” I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. My chest was starting to hurt.
“He’s coming home later and later each night. He’s been acting funny for the past few months Amber. Plus, he kept that stupid thing. It sits on his desk. I mean hello he fucking kissed her on New Year’s.” Amber sat the book back down.
“Cara, I think you’re seeing things not exactly how they are.” I was now furious. Was she defending him?
“He hasn’t told her off yet. I mean he did nothing after they kissed. I mean hell he called me a crazy bitch last night.” Amber’s bright blue eyes shot up to mine.
“My brother would never call you a bitch Cara.” She was now angry at me.
“He did. He was probably on the phone with her last night. I mean he said he doesn’t need me in his life anymore. Amber, I can’t do this. I keep having nightmares and if he doesn’t love me. I might as well walk away.” She stomped her feet right up to me and got into my face.
“What do you mean walk away? I don’t think you heard my brother right, I mean have you talked to him about all this?” I wanted to burst into tears. I tried to fight them off, but I broke down.
“I don’t want to. Maybe he’s right. I’m a mess. I mean hell he’s the first real man to love me. I messed this all up, Amber. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to be a burden on his life.” She wrapped me in a very comforting hug.
“If that’s the case then my brother is a fucking asshole and deserves to have the shit beat out of him. Cara, I think the world of you. I mean you couldn’t do what Nate did after he came home. He was a demon. It was really scary. He did some nasty things to Jessica and she fought for him. You haven’t shut us all out of your life yet and I love you so much for that.” I pulled away from her.
“What if he doesn’t love me anymore? I mean I know she meant a lot to him. Could he want her back?” Amber shook her head.
“Too many people would want to cut off his dick if he did that.” I don’t know about that. Not really because no one was telling Niki off. I pulled out my phone and brought up the anonymous text messages. I then handed Amber my phone and asked if we could walk out of the bedroom.
We sat in the living room as she went over my phone. At times, I watched her eyes get wide. She then pulled out her phone and did a few things.
“Cara, have you shown these to Jordan?” I had, to be honest here.
“Well, not really. I showed him the first time it happened when I cracked my phone really bad. That’s why you had to take it again. I know you put that app back on it.” Her eyes went into shock. She then messed with her hair for a moment.
“Jordan told you about that.”
“Not exactly. I busted the phone really bad actually and couldn’t show him why. He pulled up the information off the computer.” She sighed.
“These are not good to be hiding on your phone, Cara. I need to look into these for you. I want you to be safe. Some of these messages seem to be out to mess with your head. I bet that its Niki. However, she’s not smart enough to pull this off.” She went back to a puzzled look. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking.
We sat in silence for a while. Amber messed with my phone and hers. I had no clue what she was doing.
“Cara, to be honest, I don’t know if Niki is smart enough to pull this off. I mean she’s done some crazy crap before, but we all would pass it off. I want you to be careful until I solve this. First thing is I need to go into the office and figure out these messages.”
“Please don’t tell Jordan I talked with you. I want to figure this out myself. I shouldn’t have involved you.” Instantly she was angry.
“This involves my brother. You should talk to me. Fuck Cara, I want you to talk to me. I don’t want you to flip out then talk to someone. These messages needed to be told to someone. As for a good number of them I can already verify Jordan was with me and Ryan.” I stood to my feet, I needed to let the dogs in from outside I forgot I had let them out. Now they were at the door.
“That’s what he would tell me when he was late. What are you working on?” She stopped walking as I opened the back door.
“It’s a classified case, Cara. I’m sorry Jordan can’t keep you informed.” We spent about an hour talking, but I wasn’t being comforted by her words. I knew the truth. I don’t think I was going to lose Jordan, but I wasn’t very sure.
JORDAN
I was sitting at my desk when I got a call from Matt. He was taking the DNA sample and testing it against Isabella’s. I wanted to be wrong on this information. A creepy chill caused me to shiver.
I don’t want to understand how I could have been blind so many years ago. However, it was my fault that I was. I had put too many items on the top of my priority list.
Now that I think about it. I don’t think I had ever honored Niki in the many years we were together. I mean the off and on in High School and then the solid years while I was active duty. I spent more time being deployed than I did with her.
I was sitting at my desk answering an email from Courtney on something new to look into when my office door burst open. Amber looked furious. I turned and stood up.
“What’s wrong Amber?” I knew something bad had happened by the way she looked. She walked right up to me and slapped me.
“You’re a moron Jordan.” Okay not what I was expecting.
“What the hell Amber?” She began to pace my office.
“Did you call Cara a bitch? I mean I can’t comprehend that you would do that, but hello you seemed to have broken her heart last night.”
Cara talked to her about last night. Wait?
“I never called her a bitch. I would never do that. Fuck if someone called her that I’ll knock them into next week.” Amber stopped pacing and glared at me.
“She heard you call someone a bitch then. What the hell Jordan? What happened last night?” This is none of her damn business, but since Cara told her.
“She looked…not like her Amber. The black number, the makeup. I didn’t like it. I mean I know where she got the idea from.” Amber walked back to the door and brought in a backpack.
“You mean from the images in here.” Amber had that stupid book. I hate that damn book.
“Destroy it, Amber. I don’t want it.” Pissed is a mild word to explain the new expression on my sister’s face.
“I will do no such thing. You will destroy it, but you have to do that with Cara. Shit Jordan I ought to whip your ass for all this. You need to handle your shit with Niki.” Really, it’s not like I don’t know that.
“Niki…fuck…Amber, Cara must’ve heard me on the phone with Ryan. I had told him that Niki was a bitch and that I don’t need or want her level of crazy in my life.” Next thing I knew Amber was standing right in front of me.
“Get rid of the crazy bitch for once in your life. I’d love to put her out of her misery, but I’m no longer armed.” Excuse me.
“Where’s your gun, Amber?” She was supposed to have that on her at all times to do the job she was taking on.
“Ryan took it from me when I threatened to put a bullet in Niki’s head a week ago. Jordan I swear to God if you don’t deal with this I will kick your ass. I mean that as a promise.” She backed up and dropped her head.
“Amber?” I could hear her begin to cry. Then she looked up at me.
“You are a fucking idiot. Don’t hurt my friend Jordan. I mean that. I will make you regret it if I lose Cara as my friend because of this Niki shit. Cara was my friend first!” She screamed at me.
Remember Cinderella (True Loves Fairytale Book 2) Page 30