by Taryn Quinn
“But Laurie—”
“Might wake up,” I finished.
“Come to bed.” He gave me a quick smack on the ass, making me laugh.
I skirted around the bed and got in while he quickly shed his jeans, boxers and sneakers and followed suit.
Now what? Move toward him? Cuddle with my pillow? Wait for him to be bowled over by the sight of my collarbone revealed by the collar of his T-shirt?
He didn’t suffer from such indecision, however. He just hooked his arm around my waist and dragged me closer, covering my mouth with his before I could so much as sigh.
“I need you,” he said, and I couldn’t argue. I needed him too. So much.
“Will do better later, promise,” he said, anchoring my leg over his hips. I wasn’t fully sure what he was apologizing for until the damp head of his cock rubbed against my slit. I bit my lip as he slid all the way in, relishing that stretch even as I winced.
“All right?” He frowned.
“You’re big.”
“God, I love virgins.”
“Not a virgin anymore, wise ass.” Slugging him in the chest while his cock was inside me was a new thing, but it fit us somehow.
As did him gripping my thigh and shifting me slightly on my back so he could thrust in and out, over and over, until I couldn’t do anything but dig my nails into his shoulders and try to hold on.
“Damn straight you aren’t a virgin.” He cupped my breast through his T-shirt, rolling the nipple through thumb and forefinger. “Goddamn, woman, I love fucking you. If only I’d known.”
So many things nearly sprung from my tongue.
I knew. I always knew. At least I wished it could be like this with us.
But I didn’t say anything, just savored the way he was moving inside me. The rhythm he was building, stroke by stroke.
“Now this pussy is mine. This too.” His hand spanned over my belly and shock and pleasure and fear twined inside me, each fighting for dominance. “All fucking mine,” he said, staring straight into my eyes as he pulled back and sank home, deeper than before. He braced on one hand, rising above me, his muscled, tattooed chest glistening with sweat in the faint moonlight. “I’m gonna come inside you. So fucking deep.”
Part of me, the side that stayed safe behind a wall of sarcasm, shouted out a mental insult.
Yeah, yeah, so do it already so I can finally come too.
But the me who yearned to belong to him only nodded and moaned, scraping his back, jerking her hips to prod him to go harder, faster.
“God, Ally.” Desperately, he sucked on my breast through his T-shirt, getting the material all wet. My pussy throbbed in tandem with the nipple between his teeth. “You feel so damn amazing. Wanna fuck you over and over, fill you up with my kid. God, I want that.”
I tried to swallow over the dust in my throat, to blink away the haze in my eyes. I was so twisted up, so hot and achy all over. All I needed was to come. Then I could think again.
The friction of his movements ground against my clit with every pass, and I’d been so long denied now that probably a strong breeze could’ve set me off. I cried out, turning my head to bite the pillow.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s it.” He leaned over me, speeding up until his sweat dripped on my lips. And God, even that was hot. The salt burned where he’d bitten me through our crazy kisses. “Fucking come on me. Now.”
It wasn’t instantaneous. Maybe later I could take pride in that. But straining toward that peak and not getting there made me frustrated enough to drag my nails down his arm, ripping a groan from him that sure as hell didn’t sound like pain. Especially since his cock started to jerk and spurt inside me.
And that was what did it. Not his breathless demands. Just feeling him let go so far inside me, that sticky warmth making me feel so full. It didn’t matter if I was imagining I could feel it or not. Just knowing he was coming inside me bare was enough to make me give in too, my hips rising and falling against the mattress as moans I couldn’t stop tumbled from my lips. Ones he didn’t try to cover up. Ones that made him groan and keep pounding into me with his half-hard dick until we were broken and sweaty and panting.
He dropped his head to my breast. I stroked his hair, the words on my lips.
Finally, the truth would be out there between us.
No more secrets.
I love you.
But in the end, I couldn’t ruin the perfection of this moment. I couldn’t ask for more when he’d already given me so much. More than I’d ever thought could be possible between us.
Maybe we’d even have a baby together. Our own kind of family.
Our own kind of miracle.
15
Ally
I didn’t realize I’d dozed off in his arms until I tried to move. The watery fingers of early morning light peeked through the edges of his dark curtains. He’d pinned me against him and the mattress with his leg and arm. I tried to be annoyed. It would be easier if I was to be honest, but I couldn’t work through the molasses thick emotions threatening to choke me.
Love.
Greed.
Need.
I wanted to belong to him so very badly. Almost as overwhelming was the equal need for him to belong to me.
And that was so very dangerous.
I wiggled out from under his arm and he moaned into my ear. “Where are you going? You said you’d stay tonight.”
“And I did. It’s morning.”
“No.” The word was more of a moan and rumbled through his chest and along my back. “I missed the whole thing?”
“We were a little tired.”
“There were many little boys and girls, and a very excited one who didn’t want to go to sleep last night. Then…a nightmare.” He curled his arm under me and danced his fingertips over my inner thigh. “There was also another not-so-little girl who tired me out.”
“You wouldn’t be calling me fat, would you?”
“God, no. Perfect.” He skimmed his finger over my thigh to my hip and cupped my ass to shift us even closer. “You fit me in every way.”
I bit back a moan. “Sex is easy, Seth. We’re good at that.”
“Yeah, we are. It’s more than that that and you know it.”
I stiffened and tried to wiggle free again. I didn’t want to hear this now. Not when he was all soft and rumbly with sleep. When he could say things he didn’t really mean.
I longed to hear them so badly, and it was way too easy to believe him while my shields were down. Exactly why I didn’t want to stay the night with him.
Pillow talk was dangerous. Recriminations were even worse.
He rolled me over and nudged my thighs open.
“Seth.” I wasn’t sure I could resist him and he must have heard the warning in my voice. He settled down until I couldn’t move, but he didn’t slip inside.
He could have.
He was hard and I was weak when it came to this part of us.
Instead, he cupped my face. “I love that you slept with me all night. That you allowed me to fill you up and hold you close. That even now we may have a family growing between us. But that’s not all this is about. It hasn’t been for a damn long time.”
I closed my eyes.
I couldn’t face those dark eyes. I knew he loved me in his way. The hugeness of our history would always be full of complicated emotions. But there had been so many changes around us and between us.
“Ally.”
His voice was low and patient.
I tried to move my hips a little. Maybe I could distract him.
He groaned and buried his face in my neck. “No fair. And I’m not letting you distract me. Open your eyes, babe.”
The different endearment startled me enough for my eyes to pop open. Yesterday he’d called me baby. Now babe.
The couple vibes were everywhere, but I didn’t dare believe them. If I did and he was just being affectionate—like he might with a friend he loved but wasn’t in love with and liked bang
ing—I wasn’t sure I could survive it.
“There you are. Don’t shut me out. I don’t like it. That’s not what we’re about. We’ve always had each other’s back.”
“I know.” I hated that my voice was so tentative and shaky. He was right. I was the one changing things, not him. Well, minus his insane idea that had started all of this in the first place. But I was the one who couldn’t box up my emotions when it came to him any longer. “Things are different now.”
“Not for me.”
Well, they sure as hell were for me. Could he really not see that? Was this ever going to work between us if I had to pretend every day?
I leaned up to kiss him. To distract him so I could finally get some much-needed space, but he turned away from me. “Distracting me again. I don’t just want this. I love this part of us, but the family we’re creating is even more important.”
“For Laurie,” I said on an unsteady breath.
“Not just Laurie. For us. We both came from families that were a hot mess. I want Laurie to have an amazing mom as well as a sister. That’s because of you.”
I swallowed down the huge lump in my throat. I’d never believed I would be a mom. His little girl was more than I could ever hope for. And if I couldn’t have all of Seth, at least I’d have a part of him.
At least a child between us could be enough.
“I learned from the best.” I blinked away the rush of tears.
“You sure did. I wanted your mom to adopt me. One of the many reasons I want you in Laurie’s life. Can’t you see how perfect this is? How we are?”
“I’m so not my mother.”
“You’re even better.”
I tried to shift him off me. “Stop. I don’t need you to butter me up. I already said yes.”
“That’s not what this is.” He let me up, but didn’t move away. In fact, he reached for me, gripping my hair and dragging my gaze up to meet his. “I couldn’t imagine anyone else being the mother of my child. I wish you really were Laurie’s mother too, but I can’t wish away her mother because she’s part of Laurie. And Laurie is perfect just the way she is.”
“Yes, she is.”
“But the fact you love her so completely makes up for the rest.”
The rest. Aka his brief, shitty marriage. My chest tightened. It really was my fault Marj had left.
He’d just admitted as much.
Every part of me wanted to roll into a ball. I was the reason that little girl didn’t have a mother.
He lowered his mouth to mine. “Don’t cry, baby. I know you miss your mom.”
I clung tighter to him, letting him believe the grief living inside me was because of my mother. I missed her desperately, but I also knew she was at peace.
And she hadn’t been for a long, long time.
My tears mixed with his soft, sweet kisses. Because I didn’t have it in me to say no. And because I needed this as much as I needed oxygen, I melted into him.
Soft and gentle as rain. Maybe, just maybe…as healing.
I strained under him as we moved together faster. As the morning light streamed over our bed, with Seth braced over me, I wound my legs and arms around him as if I’d never let go.
When he came inside me, I held nothing back.
He nearly shouted out his release when I lifted my mouth to swallow it down inside me. I held that too. I held every piece of him close. I trailed my fingers up his back until his breathing evened.
I liked the stillness of the morning and my brain was too wired to drift off again no matter how tired I was. I sifted my fingers through his shaggy hair. The dark curls twined and teased my skin. Even in sleep he was hard to ignore.
A thud from out in the hallway made him jump. “Laurie?”
I kissed his temple and slid out from under him. “I’ll get her. Go back to sleep.”
“Are you sure?” His dark eyes were blurry and unfocused, but the father in him was ready to get up and take care of his little girl. It melted my heart even more.
“Yes. We’ll make some breakfast.”
He curled his arm under the pillow and slid the rest of the way off me with a low groan. “That sounds amazing. I’ll be down in just a few…” He didn’t even finish the sentence.
I laughed and pulled the sheet up over his distracting ass. I slipped out of his bed and darted for the bathroom. I’d fallen asleep wearing his T-shirt, but it was hopelessly wrinkled. I tossed it into the hamper and glanced at the huge glass shower. Those jets would probably feel amazing.
A second thump from down the hall and Laurie’s exaggerated shush put an end to that fantasy. I cleaned up as best I could before rummaging in Seth’s drawers for something to wear. I hadn’t packed an overnight bag, so a pair of boxers and T-shirt would have to do.
I darted out the door, closing it quietly behind me. Down the hall, Laurie’s door was open and her dolls and Care Bears were arranged around a white table. A plastic tea set from one of her friends was set up ever so carefully. Except for the tea pot that had somehow ended up under Laurie’s bed.
Laurie’s tousled blond hair was a halo of snarls around her head. She was searching around the room, picking up toys and discarding them.
“Under your bed.”
“Ally!” Her huge blue eyes went wide and she slapped her mouth shut. “Shhh,” she said through her fingers.
I tried not to laugh. “Nothing’s going to wake your dad up right now. But if you’re looking for your tea pot, it somehow got under your bed.”
“Share Bear was very rude.” It came out more like berry rood, but she was too adorable to correct.
She was a super smart kid and often spoke in a manner that seemed far beyond her years. But sometimes she was just a four-year-old.
“Well, that’s not good. Why don’t you grab it and we’ll go down and make some breakfast for Daddy?”
Laurie crawled across her rainbow rug to the ruffle of her bed. “There you is.”
“You are,” I corrected.
“That’s what I said.”
I snorted. She picked up her tea pot and set it on the table then proceeded to take each of her stuffed animals off the table.
“You can bring down one of your friends.”
She looked up at me with her arms full of Care Bears. “But Ally.”
“We’re going to make pancakes. It gets too…” I trailed off when she dropped three out of the four in her arms and ran for the door. “Sticky.” I crossed my arms. “Laurie?”
She halted. “Yes?”
“Is that how you treat your toys?”
She scrunched up her face and hugged Share Bear tighter. “Um, yes?”
“I don’t think so.”
She sighed dramatically. “Okay, but only because I should put my friends on my bed.” She set Grumpy Bear and Leo on the bed. “There, just like Daddy.”
“Grumpy?”
“No. Friends in bed. All snuggled like you and Daddy.”
My eyes widened and I choked. “Uh, let’s go downstairs, okay?”
“Okay. Can we have chocolate chip pancakes?”
“How about banana?”
She put Share Bear in a headlock as we neared the stairs. “Ohh. I’ve never had those before.”
“Never? We need to fix that ASAP. How about banana with peanut butter?”
She squinted up at me. “I don’t know. That sounds gross.”
“Banana and nutella?”
“Now we’re talking.”
I laughed and took her hand as we went down the stairs. “Sounds like a plan.”
When we got downstairs, I pulled out the ingredients for pancakes. I’d been with Seth when he picked out all the things for his kitchen. I knew where almost everything was.
Well, except the cinnamon evidently.
I opened doors and backtracked to the pantry.
“What are you looking for?”
“Cinnamon.”
“Oh.” Laurie zoomed out of the kitchen into the hallwa
y. She came back with a white bag full of supplies. She couldn’t quite lift it, so she dragged it along the floor. “Daddy went to the store for cookies stuff.”
“Thank goodness for Daddy,” I murmured as I reached for the bag.
“I got it.”
I held up my hands. “All right.” I watched her as I pulled down the cast iron skillet and started the bacon.
She huffed and I prayed the bag wouldn’t explode as she dragged it over the threshold and over every grout line of tile. When she stopped in front of me with the biggest smile ever, I decided right then and there I’d have cleaned up five pounds of flour and sugar for her without complaint.
“When did you get to be such a big girl?”
“I’m four, silly.”
“You sure are.”
She looked up at me with the bag straining from her fingers. “Okay, you can have it now.”
I lifted the bag onto the island counter. “In fact, you’re such a big girl, I’m going to make you help me with the mixer.”
“You are?”
“Yep. Where’s your stool?”
She zipped away again and pushed the stool Seth had bought so she could help him cook. How many times had we both cooked dinner with her? A dozen. More?
Had to be more.
And yet Laurie seemed even taller now. She was growing out of her baby face and chubby legs and arms. My eyes misted. She wasn’t even mine, but I was mourning the loss of the baby I’d…well, I’d helped raise.
The nights when Seth was beside himself with worry, the triumphs, and even the meltdowns. I’d been here with him more than not.
Until my mom had taken a turn for the worse. There had been little room for anything other than her at the end and I’d missed out on a lot with Laurie. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed this little girl until now.
She climbed up on her chair, then held up her hand. “Oh. Forgots.”
She clambered down and I had to stop myself from helping her as her feet dangled before she dropped to the floor. Instead, I busied myself with flipping the bacon and pulling off more strips from the package.