“You have a lot of that?” Bast shook his head. “Because I haven’t seen it.”
“I have to get lucky sometime.” And Jarrett really wanted that time to be now.
“That’s the kind of answer that makes me put the legal team on standby.”
Leave it to Bast to inject a heavy dose of reality. “That’s not very comforting.”
“I didn’t mean for it to be.”
TWENTY-ONE
Wade stood in the shower. He didn’t turn the water on. He stood there naked, letting the air conditioner blow over him and feeling the cool push of air prickle his skin. He should move, do something, but his muscles locked up and his brain refused to reboot.
When Elijah had pulled the gun, Wade went blank. He should have tackled Eli or threw the knife by his ankle. Even taken out his own gun and used it. But Becca beat him to it. She grabbed his gun and didn’t hesitate to defend Jarrett.
Wade knew he’d have to somehow explain to the man who changed his life and had been a friend for years why he froze instead of stepping in to save him. Why, when the moment of truth arrived and every second mattered, he sided with his lover of a month rather than the man he’d always depended on.
Wade slapped a hand against the tile wall. When he heard Elijah call out, Wade turned on the water, letting the lukewarm spray wash over him.
He fucking felt nothing.
Balancing his hands against the wall, he leaned in with his forehead against the cold blocks as the water rushed over his back and into his hair. He closed his eyes to avoid the sting of water as it ran off him and down his face.
He blew out an exhale of relief when Elijah’s voice faded away. For a second the only sound was the ping of water against the stone shower floor.
Metal rings screeched along the rod as the curtain pulled open. The few seconds of peace shattered.
Elijah stood there with a painful bleakness in his expression. “Did you hear me call for you?”
“I just need a minute.” Wade didn’t bother to yell over the pounding water.
Elijah didn’t move except to frown. “What’s wrong with you?”
He could not be that fucking clueless. Wade turned his head and stared at the man who played with his brain and emotionally punched him in the nuts at every turn. “Are you kidding?”
“Come out and we’ll talk.”
Since that usually consisted of Elijah yelling and stomping around, Wade took a pass. “I said I need a minute.”
“And I need you.”
Wade finally focused on Elijah. The water ran over his cheek and into his mouth, and Wade had to spit it out before standing up. “Since when?”
“How can you ask me that?”
Yeah, fucking clueless. “Experience.”
“Since the day I met you.”
The right words but piss-poor timing. “Don’t do this now, Eli.”
Instead of listening, he stripped his shirt off and stepped into the shower. His arms wrapped around Wade’s bare body from behind. Jeans scraped against Wade’s ass as a hand traveled down to his cock.
“Talk to me.” Eli said as he kissed Wade’s shoulder and ran his hand up and down Wade’s length.
He closed his eyes, trying to block out the sensations bombarding him. Eli’s smell and touch. The friction of body against body.
Space. He had to have space. “I need—”
“Me.” Eli bit down on Wade’s neck then licked the spot he nipped. “Let me touch you.”
“Why?”
“I want you.”
Three little words and they tripped right to Wade’s chest. Hammered into him and burrowed deep. “Today sucked.”
“I lost it.”
It was the closest Eli had ever come to taking responsibility for anything. Wade tried to view the rough comment as progress. “You tried to shoot Jarrett.”
One step closer and Wade would have reacted. In his head he knew that.
“I wouldn’t have done it.”
Wade wanted to believe that. “Seemed like it.”
For his own self-protection he should walk away from this man—hell, run—and not give a shit. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Even after only a short time, losing Eli was going to rip him up. Wade understood it. Felt the reality vibrate to his soul when Becca pulled the gun and had every intention of killing Eli on the spot.
Eli’s mouth traveled over Wade’s ear. “Let me fuck you. Please.” His whisper carried over the sound of rushing water.
God, he was pleading now.
But Wade wanted it, too. He could deny it, but why bother. And why hold back? If he had Eli for a day or a week, it didn’t matter. Somehow it would be enough.
Not trusting his throat to form the words, Wade nodded. He turned around, thinking to shut off the cooling water and head for the bed. “Let’s go—”
“Here.” Eli took Wade’s face in his hands and kissed him. Their mouths met under the spray in a rough smash of lips and teeth.
There was nothing sweet or lingering. This kiss burned with a white-hot need. Their mouths moved. Their tongues battled. Water hit them straight on, blinding Wade and throwing off his balance. But he kept kissing Elijah.
In the blur, Elijah took Wade’s hand and carried it to the zipper of his fly. “You do this to me.”
Wade looked down. Without thinking, his hands worked on Elijah’s belt and his fingers found the zipper tab. “You’re killing me.”
Elijah moved to Wade’s neck, kissing and sucking until he shivered. He didn’t know if the tremors came from the cold or the weight of Elijah’s cock in his hand.
Elijah whispered against Wade’s lips. “Then I’ll heal you.”
He closed his eyes, willing to believe, but only one phrase moved through his mind—unless Eli broke him first.
• • •
Becca fell against Jarrett’s chest limp and exhausted. Her breathing stammered as she buried her face in his neck. The rapid thump of his pulse against her lips made her smile. He was so virile and alive. But, damn, she wanted to strangle him.
She’d demanded an explanation the second they stepped inside the condo. He picked her up and didn’t stop until he was lodged inside her on the couch. With the frantic sex over, she could concentrate on weaseling some information out of him. After all, she pretty much had him trapped under her, inside of her.
She put her palms against the couch cushion on either side of his head and pushed up to stare at him. “You should feel free to explain.”
“Well, we got here when you straddled my legs and rode—”
“Not that.” Her fingers crossed his lips. “I am well aware how I landed in this position.”
He had the nerve to smile around her hand. “It’s one of my favorites.”
The sexy playful side of Jarrett made her heart drop. He threw her a wicked smile and all she wanted was to jump on top of him all over again. It was his superpower. The commanding side of him made her hot. The adorable side of him made her swoon. And she was not the swooning type.
It took a lot of willpower not to get sucked in this time. “Jarrett, stop stalling.”
“The sight of you over me is the only thing on my mind right now. Trust me.” He put his hands on her hips and pulled her tighter against his body. “I’m thinking we could go another round. I’m in the right place.”
Even now she could feel him swelling inside her. She had no idea how that was possible so soon. “I thought you needed time to recover.”
“Never with you.”
“Flattering.” Like, toe-curling so. “But it’s still not going to work to avoid this conversation.”
She glared at him when he opened his mouth again. He clamped it shut, but not before giving her one of those “you’re killing me here” sighs men did when they wanted sex right that second.
He brushed her hair over her shoulder and let his hand drift over her chest, palming the top of her breast. “He helped me get out from under the criminal charges.”
There was no way they were talking about the same “he” here. “Elijah did that?”
“Shocked me, too.”
Shock didn’t even cover it. She thought back to all the arguments with Elijah while they worked together. The practical, no-nonsense way he handled tough situations turned out to be a benefit in the field, but he had a tendency to let his emotions take over. He pretended to be an automaton but actually struggled with his anger and many times failed. There were times when adjustments had to be made and getting him to pivot took a crowbar and hours of arguing. She admired how he’d turned his body and mind into powerful weapons, but the guy exhausted her.
“How?” she asked.
“Elijah handed over an internal memo detailing my surveillance and the call for my removal if I failed to comply. Me, a U.S. citizen who hadn’t committed any crime except having the information the CIA wanted.”
The news had her head whipping back. She grabbed for Jarrett’s hands and pinned them against her chest.
“I never saw that.” She willed him to believe her.
He smiled as his thumb flicked against the underside of her chin. “Your name wasn’t on it. His wasn’t either. There wasn’t any way to identify the receiver and sender from the document.”
“Where did he get it?”
“Swiped it from Todd, but who knows where he got it.”
“Dangerous.” But typical of Eli. He tended to fly off on emotion and take risks.
“Which was part of the reason I gave him a chance. Since I wasn’t sure if I could trust you, and since I made a promise to him, I kept you two apart.” That thumb found its way to her bottom lip. “And he can’t see inside my condo or my office downstairs, so no worries there.”
She remembered the perp walk Jarrett subjected her to and winced. But that is not where her mind focused. She realized he was sharing it all now, without coaxing or yelling. The comment about distrust almost sounded past-tense.
The dread that hovered just outside her vision ever since she lost her apartment floated away. But that took a momentary backseat to the Eli information. “Someone wanted you dead eight months ago.”
“Seems like it, but it’s not good practice for the CIA to be on U.S. soil bothering U.S. citizens and targeting them for death, so what Elijah did made a difference. He provided the final piece and gave me leverage.”
“How?”
“Bast quoted the memo and made it clear it would be released to the public, along with the electronic footprints to trace it back to internal CIA communication, if anything happened to me.”
She still couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of the memo or Eli’s quick reaction in grabbing it. Those things, the kind of orders that should never be documented, tended to get shredded as soon as they were issued. “Weird.”
Jarrett laughed. “You don’t think the CIA does shit like that?”
“Please, I’m not stupid. No, I mean Eli. He’s not exactly the ‘help others’ type.”
“Which has me worried.” Jarrett dipped his head and placed a kiss in the space between her breasts.
She had trouble concentrating, especially when his mouth kept going and his tongue licked over her nipple. “You’re afraid he’ll double-cross you?”
“Not at all.”
“Really?”
“Worse, I’m convinced he’s going to mess up Wade.”
“Isn’t Wade an expert shot? I actually thought he was going to get the jump on me today.” She tried to hold on to the words, but that hot mouth made her dizzy. “Honestly, the guy can be scary. I’m thinking Wade versus Elijah is a pretty fair fight.”
“I mean emotionally.”
With her hand under his chin she lifted Jarrett’s head. “What are you talking about?”
Turning, he held her wrist with two fingers and kissed his way down her inner arm. “You couldn’t tell? They’re sleeping together. Have been almost from the very beginning.”
“What?” She tore her hand out of Jarrett’s palm and sat back.
The move had them both groaning.
“Damn, woman. Much more of that and I’ll go blind.”
Temporarily distracted by the pulsing inside her, she chuckled at their ludicrous attempts to hold a conversation as his cock sparked back to life inside her. “I thought using your own hand did that.”
“That’s a nasty rumor started by people who don’t appreciate the benefits of masturbation. I am not one of those people.”
She fought for focus for just a few more seconds. This was too important to ignore. “Back to Eli.”
Jarrett’s head tipped to the side. “You didn’t know he was gay?”
“I don’t think he is.” Her mind bounced from her sex life to Eli’s. Not a place she really spent much time. “I mean, I kind of think of him as being very sexual, in general.”
Jarrett pulled back a bit and gave her a look of confusion mixed with amusement. “I have no idea what that means.”
“I never knew him to date. He slept with people on assignments, men and women. He didn’t really show a preference.”
Jarrett’s smiled faded. “Like you?”
The words carried a slap. He kept them low and even, without the obvious touch of judgment. Still, they stung against her skin. At the beginning she looked at that aspect of her job as a necessary evil and tricked her mind into enjoying the control over men she didn’t know. But with time the shine dulled and left her with a hollow emptiness.
Until Jarrett.
“I slept with men only and nowhere near as often as you seem to assume.”
His fingertips traced the line of her neck to her collarbone. “I don’t want to know.”
“But you care.”
He peeked up at her. “I actually don’t. Not like you think. I understand sex as a weapon and part of a job. I don’t judge those choices.”
She searched his face for any sign of a verbal punch to come. “Doesn’t matter because I’d never do it again.”
“Do you get a choice in your job?”
She continued to try to read his emotions, but his face stayed blank. “Since my employer wiped out my bank accounts, put me on a hit list and is even now trying to frame me for murder, I’m not really inclined to follow protocol.”
“Ah, yes. In that case, your position sounds reasonable.”
She wanted him to yell and demand she never go back. Something other than sit there wallowing in calm and staring as his hands wandered over her.
“Besides, I hate that part of the game and I’m not going back to it,” she said.
“Okay.”
The same heart that thundered for him shriveled at his flat tone. “You don’t believe me.”
He kissed her neck right where her pulse kicked and thumped. “I do.”
“I . . . Are you—”
A hand slipped to the back of her neck. “I said I believe you.”
He treated her to a long, lazy kiss. Desire spiraled inside her.
After seconds ticked by he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. “Understood?”
She nodded. It took another minute for her to clear the shake out of her voice. “What if we never figure this out or we do and it doesn’t matter because my name stays on the hit list?”
“We’ll resolve this.”
“I’m asking what if we don’t.”
“Becca, trust me.” His hands smoothed over her back as he talked.
“I can’t stay here forever.” She regretted the words as soon as they were out. She winced waiting for him to agree.
“I’ll keep you safe.”
“I’m not sure we’re saying
the same thing.” But relief flowed through her that he hadn’t pulled away or set up a barrier between them. Like he used to do months ago, he caressed and calmed, making her feel safe. She kissed him in silent thank-you. When she lifted her head again, his body followed hers and he kept her close against him.
“We’ve had enough talking for one day.”
His fingers skimmed down her stomach until he reached her entrance. His cock filled her, and he now rubbed her wetness where their bodies met.
“Avoiding a serious conversation. That’s very guyish of you.” A bunch of babble slipped through her brain after that. She stopped talking out of fear of saying the nonsense out loud.
“Maybe I’d rather touch you.” That finger dipped deeper, stretching her. “Like this.”
Air caught in her throat. “Thought you needed recovery time.”
“I’m sure you can help me out.”
She shifted to find a better position and her breast brushed his cheek. The second time it happened, he turned his head and pulled her into his mouth. His tongue flicked over her nipple as his hand picked up its tempo over her clit.
The joint caress had her hips rising and falling. Her knees dug into the couch cushion. The friction of his cock over her swollen sensitized flesh made her gasp. They careened right toward another orgasm and she didn’t stop them or slow down. If anything, her pace increased as his fingers dug into her hips.
After letting her lead the tempo, he finally took over. His hips rose to meet her presses. He thrust and she took him in deep. The combination sent her head swimming.
She threw her head back and his mouth went wild against her skin. He kissed her breasts and her throat. With every touch of his lips she pushed down harder, wanting all of him to fill her.
When the orgasm hit her, it swamped her. Her body tensed and her toes pointed hard behind her. She locked her arms as her body bucked. Then her muscles weakened and she didn’t think she could hold her own weight. It wasn’t until he slid down on the cushions, angling in ever deeper, that she heard his ragged breathing.
She wanted to tighten against him, concentrate and make him lose his mind like he did to her, but her body’s instincts and drive for completion took over. She closed her eyes and rode him hard. His cock twitched and his hips pumped even faster. She felt every inch of him. Loved the way he swelled until she didn’t think her body could stretch anymore.
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