“I’m serious here. You can’t back away from this. You are giving up most of your leverage. If anyone at the CIA decides you’re a risk, you will be gone.” Bast flattened his palms against the desk and loomed right across from Jarrett. “I’m not sure I can save you again.”
“You underestimate your talents.”
“You underestimate how serious this is.”
Jarrett closed his eyes and counted to ten. Or tried. He didn’t make it past six. When he opened them again he didn’t feel any calmer. “Do you honestly believe that? You think I don’t know what this means? I’m having my business lawyer put together the paperwork to place this building and all my assets in trust run by you.”
Bast stood up straight. “What the fuck?”
“I’m depending on you to make sure Wade and my employees are taken care of. You’ll watch over the account for Becca.”
“An account you never told me about.”
“You get the rest of the secrets and can decide how to handle them.” Jarrett knew Bast would take care of everything. That’s what he did. He fixed and streamlined. He would not ignore Jarrett’s wishes.
“Christ, don’t talk like that. I don’t want your assets.” Bast was yelling and the man rarely raised his voice.
“Tough shit.”
“I’d rather have you alive and out of jail. You and Wade.”
“Damn it, Bast. I know that.” Jarrett’s voice now matched Bast’s in the yelling contest.
“Tell me why.” He dropped into the chair across from Jarrett. “Make me understand how a man who has carefully rebuilt his life and his image, who has taken the shit hand he was dealt and spun it into gold, makes this decision.”
Jarrett didn’t need to think about it for a second. He could hide the truth but Bast knew, too. “I love her, man.”
Bast blew out a long breath. “It can’t be that simple.”
“Nothing happens to her.” That was Jarrett’s goal. He moved everything around and risked everything for her.
“Would she make this kind of grand gesture for you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really care.” But he knew the answer to that one, too. She had the chance and she hadn’t. She believed the worst and walked away.
He refused to let that matter.
“How can you say that?” Bast shook his head. “How can you do all of this if the feelings only run one way?”
But that was the point. They didn’t run one way. She loved him back. Jarrett knew it to his soul. Felt it in her touch and heard it mirrored in the way she didn’t back down in a verbal battle. He’d let that be enough. “My whole life I’ve tried to handle other people and make situations work for me, but the truth is the only thing I can truly control is me. How I act and my decisions.”
Bast leaned forward. “Let her go. I’m begging you.”
“I am, but to do that I have to know she’s safe.”
“She’s a trained agent. She can handle her own safety.”
“Tell that to the other members of her team.” Jarrett shuffled files around in front of him then handed one to Bast. “Look at the photos. The one who had his head blown off from behind is especially compelling.”
Bast took the paperwork then dropped it on the desk without looking at it. “I never imagined you’d be the type to sacrifice everything for love.”
“Me either.” Really, never. Not with his background. Not with his experience.
Bast sat back in his chair. “Tell me she’s worth it.”
“Without even knowing it, I waited my whole life for her.”
Bast stared up at the ceiling. “Fine.”
“What does that mean?”
He lowered his head again. “I’ll go negotiate with Natalie.”
The words set Jarrett on edge. “We’ve already set the terms.”
“You’re handling the love part, something I never thought I’d say.” Bast stood up. “Now let me do my job.”
“I appreciate that, but—”
“No.” He pointed at Jarrett. “Shut the fuck up.”
Between the furious tone and the anger flashing in Bast’s eyes, Jarrett didn’t say anything for a second. “Excuse me?”
“That’s a good-bye and you are not over. You want to clear the board, let’s do it, but I get the chance to help you win, too.” Bast kept pointing. Kept yelling.
“It’s not possible.”
“You’re the hopeless romantic all of a sudden. Let me be the lawyer and try to save your sorry ass.”
Jarrett took that as the sacred vow it was. Bast even used the word “lawyer,” which never happened. As usual, he was the most solid guy Jarrett knew. “Fair enough.”
“Yeah, well, let’s just hope I’m as good at this as I say I am.” Bast grabbed his briefcase off the floor. “And then wait until you get my bill. You may need to sign the building over as collateral.”
If Bast could pull this off, Jarrett just might. “No problem.”
“Don’t bargain anything else away while I’m gone.”
TWENTY-FIVE
She should have refused to go with him until his attitude improved, but that could be decades at this rate. Becca came to that decision as she rode down the elevator with Jarrett in total silence.
He’d been impossible for more than a day. He stomped around, barely spoke and slept in his own bed. Then a half hour ago he rushed her around, even tried to hand her a shirt to put over her white tank top.
If he was trying to piss her off, he’d succeeded.
She crossed her arms and leaned against the back railing of the car. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Be patient.” When the doors opened he put his hand in the open space and motioned for her to step onto the second floor.
She didn’t move. “Do you have any idea how patronizing that sounds?”
“You could be more grateful.”
For a smart man he was acting like a complete idiot.
Her gaze went past him to the open conference room door. She couldn’t see inside, but she heard the low rumble of a man’s voice. Still she leaned. She was happy to play this argument to an audience, if that’s what he wanted, but she knew that would only shut Jarrett down further. As if that were even possible.
“Did you forget how we left this?” she asked. “You were being an ass and then you walked out.”
“That’s not how I remember it.”
The voice inside the room cut off. Whoever lingered in there was now listening in. That was fine with Becca. If they wanted a show, she’d give them one. “Any chance you’ll knock off the asshole behavior anytime soon?”
“Rest assured you won’t have to put up with it much longer.” He pointed into the empty hallway. “Right now we have a meeting.”
More out of curiosity than anything else, she pushed off against the back wall and started moving. She avoided his hand and walked right past him. “Since when are you cryptic?”
She hit the doorway. Her gaze went to Bast where he stood by the far window.
Then a woman she thought she’d never see again opened her mouth. “Good question.”
Becca felt the blood rush out of her head. “Natalie?”
The other woman stood up. “Becca Ford. I must say, you look good for a dead woman.”
Becca whipped around so fast to face Jarrett that she got dizzy. Fear and disappointment rolled into a ball and clogged her throat.
He lied to her. Took her in, made love to her, assured her she was safe. He promised to keep her hidden and now he was handing her over to a woman who sat behind a desk at the agency and gave orders. One of which could have been the order to terminate Spectrum.
“What did you do?” The words sliced against the soft inside of her throat as she whispered them.
For
a fraction of a second, Jarrett’s stern expression slipped. Concern and an odd softness replaced the coldness in his eyes. Then the guard snapped up into place again. “Calm down.”
The clipped phrase sent her panic spiraling into anger. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”
“Don’t act like one.”
“Maybe we should all sit down,” Bast said.
Jarrett talked right over his friend, his unblinking stare never moving from Becca’s face. “Just listen.”
“To you sell me out? Is this some sort of payback for eight months ago?” The reality crushed her. Drove a stake from the top of her head straight down her middle. She grabbed on to the back of a chair to keep from falling at his feet.
“Becca—”
“I messed up back then. Okay.” Damn him. He was going to make her beg for her life. Rip away the last bit of pride she had when it came to him. “Is that what you need to hear?”
“You’re not listening to me.”
“I’ll say it to you, to them, if that’s what it takes.” Her hearing muffled and a second wave of dizziness pummeled into her. “I didn’t trust you and you got screwed. There is no one to blame but me. Are you happy now?”
“I would be if you settled down.” Jarrett reached for her arm.
She shrugged out of his hold and turned to Natalie. “Give me your gun.”
On the second try, Jarrett’s hand connected. With a hold on Becca’s upper arm, he turned her back to him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“That’s what this is about, right? You want me to bleed.”
“You’re talking nonsense.”
“Do not give anyone in this room a gun,” Bast said to Natalie.
Becca heard Bast’s voice and felt Natalie right next to her. Everything ran together. With Jarrett still holding her, she glanced over at Natalie. “Are you carrying?”
“Always.”
With nothing left to lose, Becca spelled it out. He threw around comments about her betrayal months ago, but his was fresh. It threw her into a new hell, complete with danger and pain and a profound sense of loss over the man she loved more than anything. “We had a deal. Protection for sex.”
Jarrett didn’t even flinch at having the secret out there in front of Natalie, someone Becca didn’t even know he’d met.
“Now you have a new deal,” he said.
More secrets. They piled up and multiplied. She thought they could wiggle free and move on. She saw now that they shoveled some and more caved in around them.
Her chest ached when she looked at him, so she turned to Natalie. “Why are you really here?”
“To help.”
“That has never been my experience.”
Natalie picked up two sealed folders from the table. “Believe what you want but after talking with Bast and thinking it through, I’m trying to give you options.”
“Option. Singular. She doesn’t get a choice.” Jarrett shifted until Natalie stood in his direct line of sight.
His yelling vibrated through Becca until she wanted to cover her ears. “Stop with that bullshit.”
“Okay,” Bast said in his usual reasonable lawyer voice. “Let’s all sit down.”
Jarrett turned on his best friend. “There is one option. Why is Natalie talking about two?”
Bast glared. “Maybe Becca isn’t the only one who needs to sit down and listen.”
Jarrett’s eyes narrowed at his best friend. “What did you do?”
“My job.”
She had no idea what was happening and didn’t care. “And this is my life. I am not your client, Bast.”
Bast’s glare didn’t falter. “So?”
She broke Jarrett’s hold. The second the contact ended, the last bits of energy whooshed out of her. She made it to the chair but just barely. “I did not ask for anything.”
Jarrett sat down next to her, almost on top of her. “You don’t even know what’s happening.”
“That’s my point. You can’t control everything.” She tried to shift the chair over to get a little breathing room, but the wheels wouldn’t move.
He pounded a finger on the desk right in front of her. “You came to me for help and you’re getting it.”
“You are unbelievable. You think because we’ve been sleeping together you own me?”
His face turned to a mask of teeth-clenching fury. “Stop talking.”
Bast cleared his throat. “Uh, Jarrett.”
But Jarrett wasn’t done. His anger spread through the room, falling over everything. “I’m not listening to you go off and blame me and assume I’m trying to hurt you. I am risking everything for you.”
The man still didn’t get it. He thought being a partner meant ordering her around. That worked when he told her she meant nothing, but not now. “I don’t know what that means but whatever it is, I didn’t ask for it.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
She spun her chair around to face him instead of Natalie. “Why do you think it’s okay to say that garbage to me?”
“Because I love you and I want you safe.” The words pinged off every wall and wiped every other noise from the room. “There, are you fucking satisfied?” His shoulders fell and some of the intensity ran out of him. “I love you.”
Natalie rolled her eyes as she took her seat. “What woman wouldn’t find being screamed at romantic?”
“The delivery does need work,” Bast said.
Becca struggled to take it all in. Relief and happiness battled with a well-earned wariness. The feelings conflicted and battled until all she could do was sit there with her mouth hanging open.
He declared his love, and not in the privacy of their bedroom. Out in the open with other people there. It was sweet and charming and so unlike him, but as with everything else Jarrett did, the message came wrapped in this confusing mixture of fury and desperation. He loved her, but she got the distinct impression he didn’t want to.
“You think this is the way to tell me something so important?” she asked in a harsh whisper.
The stress lines around his mouth deepened. “I need it done.”
She didn’t know what the “it” was in the sentence. The meeting, their relationship, his feelings for her. The “it” could be anything, and most of the alternatives sucked for her.
She needed space and a minute to think. She had to pull herself together before she grabbed him and told him to say the words the right way.
She turned to Natalie. “Let me hear this supposed deal. That way I can say no and get the hell out of here.”
“You don’t get to say no.”
Becca didn’t even spare Jarrett a glance that time. “You would be wise to not talk right now.”
“She is a trained killer,” Bast said as he sat in the chair across from them.
Jarrett waved him off. “She can kill me for all I care. I’ll survive.”
Bast laughed. “How do you survive death?”
Becca closed her eyes for a second. She was sick of male talking. They could sit together and figure out whatever was bugging them later. They were talking about her life and she wanted to get to it. “Natalie, tell me why you’re here.”
“We’ve arranged for you to disappear.” Natalie put a hand on top of one folder. Her shiny gold watch caught the light. “You get a new identity, a healthy bank account from the agency for your trouble, one that means you’ll never have to work, and I guarantee your safety.”
Becca knew the drill. Not many got the offer, but it happened. “So, I go away forever.”
The words made her mouth numb. The rest of her followed.
“Yes. Gone, but alive and not hounded. That’s the point. You have your freedom, to a certain extent. You’ll always need to be careful, but I’d expect that from you anyway.”
&nbs
p; Never seeing Jarrett again. Never coming back to the area. More years without a home. “And what do I give up in return?”
“Jarrett handled most of that, but you would lose your identity.”
“It’s simple and you stop running.” Jarrett put his hand over hers. “For the first time in your life, you’re not looking over your shoulder to see who’s chasing you.”
Becca tried to take it all in. Tried and failed.
Natalie slid the second folder closer to Becca. “Or you can—”
“There is no ‘or’ here.” Jarrett reached out to snag the folder. “That’s the only deal.”
Natalie pulled it back and out of his reach. She kept her focus on Becca as she held the first folder up. “This is the information on the disappearance. You leave, you break all ties, and no one comes after you. Since this is through back channels, there’s room for one. You go alone.”
The words tumbled in Becca’s head. She felt frozen, as if all of this was happening around her but she couldn’t move or dive in. She finally forced her throat to move. The words that came out were not the ones she meant to say. “You’re okay with never seeing me again, Jarrett?”
He nodded. “If it keeps you alive.”
Her body went limp. She barely had the energy to lift her arm. She looked to Natalie for an explanation of all of it. “Why would you agree to that?”
“It’s a good deal and I get to be the agent who brings in some much-needed information.”
That could only mean one thing. Becca’s gaze shifted to Jarrett. “What exactly does the agency get from you?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.”
“To me, too,” Bast mumbled.
Instead of getting answers, the room remained quiet. Natalie broke the silence when she held up the second envelope. “Or you can keep your identity under this scenario.”
Jarrett stood up so suddenly his chair spun behind him then crashed to the floor. “What the hell are you doing?”
“As I told you before, she’s a grown-up,” Natalie said. “She gets a choice.”
Jarrett turned on Bast. “Is this your doing? I told you only Becca’s safety mattered.”
Mercy Page 27