Golden Shower. Golden showers is a euphemistic term for one form of urine play, which is also called urolagnia, urophilia, or water sports. It is generally an activity enjoyed by people who are sexually aroused by the thought or sight of urine or urination. This sort of play may take various forms, to include infantilism, diaper play, bathroom access control play, humiliation play, urine consumption, clothes or bed wetting, or voyeurism. Contrary to popular belief, people are told to wash their hands after urination not because urine is unsanitary, but because genitals are. Uncontaminated urine is actually sterile. (See also: Bathroom Access Control, Brown showers, Humiliation, Scat, Urine play, Water sports)
Gor. Gor is the name of a fictional planet whose people were the subject of a series of pulp fiction novels by John Frederick Lange Jr. writing under the pen name John Norman. Devotees of the “Gorean” subculture of the D/s lifestyle pattern their relationship and social dynamics, language, customs, protocols, and even their sexual activities after the manner of the people of this fictional planet, which is also sometimes referred to by the series publishers as “Counter-Earth.” The planet, as envisioned by John Norman, is ruled by a technologically advanced insect-like race of Priest-Kings who have, over the course of eons, transported large numbers of humans from earth to populate the planet, many of whom are made slaves, if they happen to be female. (See also: Master, Kajira)
Group Marriage. Generally refers to any marriage or relationship resembling a marriage that has more than two partners, typically without regard to the legal standing of the relationship in the eyes of the law. Group marriage is also sometimes referred to as plural marriage. (See also: Polyamory, Polyandry, Polygyny.)
Gun Play. Gun play is a form of BDSM edge-play which consists of using a firearm or simulated firearm to create sensations of fear and/or arousal in the bottom. This sort of play can be extremely dangerous if anyone involved in the scene is unfamiliar with basic weapons safety procedures. Even overly curious bystanders can put themselves or others at risk if proper precautions are not meticulously observed. Gun play is sometimes combined with abduction or rape fantasy play. (See also: Abduction play, Edge play, Gang rape fantasy, Humiliation, Interrogation play, Rape fantasy)
Guydyke. A person who was born and remains assigned male, yet his primary sexual attraction is to gay and bisexual females, usually to the complete exclusion of heterosexual females.
Hairbrush Spanking. Paddling or spanking with the flat back-side of a hairbrush. (See also: Paraphilia, Paddling, Spanking)
Hair Pulling. Refers to being sexually aroused by the grasping, pulling, binding, yanking or dragging by the hair in a scene or during sex play.
Handballing. (See: Fisting)
Handcuffs. (See: Restraints)
Harness. Refers to anything that is worn about the torso, and to which you attach other things. A simple example would be a dildo harness, which is usually (but not always) worn around the hips and groin and is designed to hold a dildo in place for pegging. Other common types of harnesses include cock and ball torture harnesses, chastity harnesses, purely decorative body harnesses, and specialty bondage harnesses. Some harnesses are designed to be used only with other types of equipment, fetish furniture, frames, hoists, swings or devices. (See also: Bondage, Dildo harness, Pegging)
Hoods. Hoods, unlike blindfolds, are typically fitted over the entire head. They are commonly constructed from cotton, silk, spandex, leather, rubber, PVC, nylon or other synthetic fabrics. Some hoods come with straps, flaps, and holes; others may not. Some are designed to keep people from seeing out; others are designed to keep people from seeing in. Most hoods function to limit a person’s vision; others may be uniquely constructed to limit a person’s ability to speak, hear, breathe, or all of the above. Hoods may be simple or devious, sensual or cruel, loose-fitting or elastic, and they may be secured in place by laces, zippers, snaps, buttons, straps, or Velcro. (See also: Blindfold, Sensory deprivation, Masks)
Hot Wax Play. Hot wax play generally consists of dripping or pouring molten candle wax onto someone’s skin to produce erotic sensations, for aesthetic purposes, or both. The types of candle wax used for erotic wax play typically fall into two categories: paraffin (a man-made, petroleum-based compound) and beeswax (which is secreted by the wax glands of worker bees). There are many other varieties of wax that can be used, but they all generally fall into these two categories, differing only in the various additives that are combined with the waxes to change its properties, such as its burn characteristics, melting point, plasticity, or effects upon the skin. (See also: Sensation play)
Human Furniture. (See: Forniphilia)
Humbler. A humbler is a device which consists of a testicle cuff mounted at the center of a bar or board that is mounted behind the legs. The cuff forces the wearer to keep his legs pulled forward, since straightening the legs causes discomfort by stretching the scrotum. (See also: Ball crusher, Ball Stretching, CBT)
Hypnotism. Hypnotism generally refers to a form of BDSM play which involves the actual or simulated placement of a person into a hypnotic or highly suggestible trance-like state, during which he or she may be instructed to act out imagined sexual or erotic scenarios. (See also: Age Play, Infantilism, Kidnapping Fantasy, Knife Play, Rape Fantasy, etc.)
Ice Play. Ice play refers to any BDSM play activity that utilizes ice to enhance erotic sensations, produce discomfort or pain, or even to startle a play partner. Ice play can range from the very simple act of running an ice cube over a person’s erogenous zones, to very complex and potentially dangerous activities, such as the use of ice dildos. (See also: Sensation Play)
Immobilization. Immobilization refers to any BDSM activity that involves rendering a person immobile. This usually accomplished through various forms of bondage, but can also include other means, such as mental bondage, forniphilia, queening/smothering, or forcibly being held down. (See also: Bondage, Face Sitting, Forniphilia, Kinbaku, Mummification, Queening, Restraints, Rope Play, Shibari, Smotherbox)
Impact Play. Impact play is a generic term which refers to virtually any BDSM activity that involves striking, such as spanking, slapping, caning, paddling, whipping, or cropping. (See also: Caning, Crops, Flogging, OTK spanking, Paddling, Slapping, Spanking, Whipping)
Infantilism. Infantilism is sometimes referred to as Adult Baby/Diaper Lover (AB/DL) play. Infantilism in BDSM usually refers to the derivation of pleasure from fantasies and role play involving a return to infancy. This typically involves exhibiting baby-like behavior, such as wearing (and soiling) diapers, drinking from baby bottles, sucking on pacifiers, sleeping in cribs, and similar activities. Scenes involving infantilism generally requires another person, in addition to the “baby,” who assumes the role of a parent, caretaker, babysitter, and on rare occasions, another infant. The infantilism play may or may not be sexual in nature, as is the case with most kinds of age play. (See also: AB/DL, Age Play, Babygirls, Diaper play, Littles, Role Play, Urine play)
Injection Play. Injection play refers to the use of hypodermics in BDSM needle play. Hypodermic needles are hollow, and designed to inject or sample fluids from the body; that means the needle has to be thicker and will usually produce a slightly more painful poke. Some studies have shown that roughly 10% of the population suffers from trypanophobia, which is the fear of hypodermic needles. Hypodermic needle play occurs most often in BDSM medical role-play scenes. (See also: Edge play, Needle play, Medical play)
Interrogation Play. Interrogation play refers to role play that simulates the aggressive questioning of a suspect or prisoner, often under duress, the threat of harm, or torture. Interrogation play is most commonly engaged in as part of abduction play, humiliation play, medical play or hypnotism play. (See also: Abduction play, Humiliation play, Hypnotism play, Injection play, Medical play, Prison fantasy, Straitjacket)
Kajira. The term kajira (plural: kajirae) refers to the female slaves featured in the sci-fi erotic pulp fiction series of books about the planet Gor by Joh
n Norman. There are male slaves on Gor, as well, however they are far fewer in number and, unlike the women who are either bred for slavery or kidnapped from Earth, the male slaves of Gor typically become slaves as the result of war, criminality, or indebtedness. Male slaves are individually called kajirus, and kajiri in the plural. (See also: Gor, Master, Slave)
Kidnapping Fantasy. (See: Abduction play)
Kinbaku. (See: Shibari.)
Kitten Play. (See: Pet play)
Kneeling. Kneeling is sometimes used as a euphemism for submitting to a Dominant but is, more often than not, a reference to assuming a submissive posture by sitting on the floor on your knees. Various fetish culture sub-groups may place more or less emphasis on the significance of kneeling. Goreans, for example, teach slaves to assume a series of positions on command from their Masters, many of which are kneeling positions. (See also: Gor, Kajira, Protocol, Master, Slave, Submissive)
Knife Play. Knife play refers to any BDSM activity that involves knives, blades or other sharp objects. Knife play can be exceedingly dangerous when performed by inexperienced or reckless individuals. The blades used in knife play may or may not be terribly sharp, depending on the circumstances. In some cases, the mere thought of a blade – sharp or not – is enough to conjure up the requisite fear that makes knife play interesting for so many people. Regardless, before engaging in knife play with anyone, one should always learn something about the experience level of the person wielding the blades, learn how sharp and clean the blades are, and clarify whether or not there should be any blood involved. (See also: Abduction play, Edge play, Fluid bonding, Interrogation play, Role play, Wet play)
Lady-boy. Typically refers to an effeminate gay Southeast Asian male, usually in his teens or twenties, who appears in almost every respect, except for having male sex organs, to be a female. They often work as models, escorts, and prostitutes in the tourist regions of Thailand and the Philippines and have become well-known outside of Asia thanks to the internet.
Latex. (See: Rubber)
Lesser God Dominant. The Lesser God Dominant, sometimes referred to as Lord, Prophet, Pharoah, or Pharoanic Lord, is a Dominant who thrives on the worship of his submissives. This adoration and worship, which can sometimes take the form of highly ritualistic activities and behaviors, has but one purpose, which is the ego gratification of the Lesser God. It is relatively common for the real-life households of Lesser God Doms to forsake all traditional forms of religion in order to practice their own home-grown religion, with the Dominant at its head and submissives as adoring acolytes. In such cases, the Dominant is usually either regarded as a demi-god or prophet. (See also: Dominant, Religious fantasy)
Limits. Limits refer to qualifications or limitations that are placed on a BDSM scene or relationship that specify what the participants will or will not tolerate. Limits are typically discussed prior to participating in a scene, or at the beginning of a relationship. Dominants and submissives, Tops and bottoms can have limits. There are several different kinds of limits, including:
· Hard Limits: Activities that will not be tolerated, under any circumstances. Hard limits are, by definition, non-negotiable and not subject to debate or persuasion. Violating a person’s hard limits is considered an extremely serious offense in the BDSM culture.
· Soft Limits: Activities that a person may be generally inclined to refuse, subject to circumstances, persuasion, or the right partner. Violating a soft limit without prior consent is still considered a serious breach of trust.
· Must Limits: An activity that is a requirement or a requisite condition of a scene. One example might be a bottom’s requirement that aftercare be provided following a scene, or a Top’s requirement that his play partners sign a declaration of good health prior to any scene.
· Time Limits: A limitation on how long a scene can last, or a set time where it must end.
· No Limits: The term is sometimes used as a synonym for Total Power Exchange (TPE), but most often refers to a consensual agreement between a Top and bottom that there will be no limits of any kind in an ensuing scene or relationship. This is generally considered to be an extremely unwise thing to do, since even the most experienced and hardened BDSM practitioners have some limits.
Little. A Little, sometimes referred to as a Baby, Babygirl, Lolita, Loli, Lolly, Little Girl, Little One, or Tot, is a submissive who finds great joy in embracing her inner child. This sort of age play often involves behaving, speaking and/or dressing in a child-like manner, and may or may not involve sex or other adult-appropriate themes. While the great majority of Littles and their Daddy Doms find age play to be sexually stimulating, there are also those who simply find comfort in the simulated adult-child dynamic, and do not associate it in any way with sex. (See also: Age play, AB/DL, Daddy Dom, Diaper play, Infantilism)
Lolita. (See: Little.)
Masochism. Masochism, which is sometimes referred to as sadomasochism, S&M, or S/M, refers to the derivation of arousal, pleasure, or sexual gratification from inflicting or receiving pain or humiliation. Aside from its association with sadism and BDSM, there are clinical psychological classifications of sexual masochism are sometimes the subject of debate. They are:
· Class I Sexual Masochist: Bothered by, but not seeking out, fantasies. May be preponderantly sadists with minimal masochistic tendencies and/or non-sadomasochistic with minimal masochistic tendencies
· Class II Sexual Masochist: Equal mix of sadistic and masochistic tendencies. Like to receive pain but also like to be dominant partner (in this case, sadists). Sexual orgasm is achieved without pain or humiliation.
· Class III Sexual Masochist: Masochists with minimal to no sadistic tendencies. Preference for pain and/or humiliation (which facilitates orgasm), but not necessary to orgasm. Capable of romantic attachment.
· Class IV Sexual Masochist: Exclusive masochists (i.e. Cannot form typical romantic relationships, cannot achieve orgasm without pain or humiliation).
Master. Master is an appellation, title, or even a term of endearment which may be used by a slave or submissive for his or her Dominant. Some Dominants consider Master to be a generic synonym for Dominant, although that practice is generally most prevalent in the Gorean subculture. Other Dominants reserve the use of the title of Master only to those whom they have collared. (See also: Collar, Dominant, Gor, Slave, Submissive)
Masturbation Restrictions. Refers to any activity or scene that prevents or limits a bottom’s ability to masturbate, either in the short term (i.e. for a scene) or for the long term (i.e. days, weeks, or months). Masturbation restrictions may take the form of a command by the Dominant to avoid masturbation for a specific period of time or under specific circumstances, or can consist of restrictions enforced by devices or clothing. It is also sometimes used for amusement, teasing, or torture by having a bottom masturbate to the point where he or she is at the point of orgasm, and then is commanded to stop. Once the impending orgasm has been deferred, the cycle is repeated again and again, growing more frustrating for the bottom with each interrupted orgasm. (See also: Chastity belt, Humiliation, Mitts)
Medical Fantasy. Medical fantasy and role play refers to assuming the roles of a medical professional (doctor or nurse, for example) and patient for purposes of BDSM play or sexual arousal and gratification. Medical play typically consists of simulated examinations, treatments, procedures, injections, operations or torture. It is sometimes combined with age play, abduction and interrogation play, CBT, or even pet play in the form of veterinary role play. (See also: Age play, Abduction play, CBT, Infantilism, Injection play, Interrogation play, Pet play)
Mentoring. Mentoring refers to the practice of guiding, teaching and advising another on aspects of the D/s or BDSM lifestyles. Typically a Dominant will mentor another Dominant, or a submissive will mentor another submissive, and the relationship is a casual, friendly one rather than a formal one.
Misandry. Hatred or dislike of men as a class; not necessarily targeting men as indiv
iduals. Often used as a significant part of the FemDom’s sadistic role-reversal repertoire. (See also: CBT, FemDom, Humiliation, Sadism)
Mitts. BDSM mitts are typically made of leather or other heavy-duty materials, and are used to prevent a bottom from using his or her hands and, most commonly, to prevent masturbation. Other common uses include immobilizing the wrists and hands by attaching them to other bondage gear, hobbling someone to make an assigned task near-impossible to accomplish, or for disciplinary or humiliation purposes. (See also: Bondage, Humiliation, Masturbation restrictions)
Mouth Bit. A mouth bit is a type of gag which consists of a cylindrical bar placed between the teeth of the wearer, and held in place by straps or a bridle. Actual horse bits are generally made of metal, but the mouth bits used in BDSM play are usually made from rubber or a rigid material (plastic/metal) with a pliable coating to provide more protection for the teeth and lips. Mouth bits are most commonly used in pony play, but are also used in other types of scenes and play. A mouth bit will not prevent speech, but will make it more difficult. (See also: Bondage, Gags, Pet play, Pony Play)
Mummification. Mummification refers to bondage play consisting of wrapping parts or all of a person’s body with fabric, bandages, plastic wrap, rubber, duct tape, tarps, or similar materials. Mummification is often combined with abduction play, bondage play, humiliation play, breath play, torture, and many other forms of BDSM play. Mummification can create a risk of postural asphyxiation. When mummification includes the subject’s head and face, great care must be taken to avoid suffocation. A reliable pair of heavy-duty emergency shears should always be kept nearby in the event that an emergency requires the rapid release of the wrapped subject. (See also: Bondage, Breath play, Humiliation, Postural asphyxiation)
Munch. A munch typically refers to a regular gathering of a D/s lifestyle group for socializing, meeting new people and, often, a meal. Munches are almost always conducted in public places, in an entirely vanilla fashion. This allows first-time visitors, who may be curious or hesitant, to attend the event and enjoy themselves without feeling any unnecessary pressure. Munches also allow the group to learn a little something about new or unfamiliar individuals before inviting them to other more sensitive events. (See also: Protocol)
Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook Page 47