Rope Play. Any BDSM activity that involves rope bondage or suspension. (See also: Bondage, Kinbaku, Restraints, Shibari, Suspension).
Rubber. Rubber comes in two varieties - natural and synthetic. Latex, which is sometimes erroneously considered to be something different from rubber, is actually the sap that is a natural component of rubber. Synthetic rubber, on the other hand, is produced from petroleum compounds and does not contain latex. This distinction is relatively unimportant to most people, unless you happen to suffer allergic reactions to latex products. Rubber is a term that is often generically applied to just about any material which demonstrates a high degree of elasticity, to include some types of PVC which are technically not a form of rubber. Rubber is popular and commonly used in the BDSM culture for sex toys, impact toys, restraints, and high-end specialty fetish-wear. (See also: Polyvinyl chloride/PVC )
Sadism. Sadism is the enjoyment, satisfaction, or sexual arousal from inflicting physical or emotion pain, suffering, humiliation, or discomfort upon another person. It can manifest itself as a personality trait that has no connection whatsoever to the fetish culture, or as an intense sexual kink, or anything in-between. In extreme cases, it can even be classified as a mental disorder. The psychological classifications of sexual sadists fall into four categories:
· The Class I Sexual Sadist has sadistic thoughts and fantasies of inflicting pain and suffering on his or her sex partners, but does not act on those sadistic sexual fantasies.
· The Class II Sexual Sadist has sadistic thoughts and fantasies of inflicting pain and suffering on his or her sex partners and acts out those sadistic urges, but only with consenting adult partners.
· The Class III Sexual Sadist commits criminal acts by acting on his or her sadistic compulsions with non-consenting victims, but doesn’t go so far as to seriously injure or kill his victims.
· Class IV Sexual Sadist commits criminal acts by acting on his or her sadistic compulsions with non-consenting victims and does seriously injure or kill them.
In short, Class I sexual sadists are in the closet. Class II sexual sadists fit right in with your typical BDSM lifestyle kinksters. Class III sexual sadists are criminal predators, and Class IV sexual sadists are pathologically dangerous criminals. (See also: BDSM, Masochism, Sadistic Dominant)
Sadistic Dominant. A Sadistic Dominant is one who enjoys or is sexually aroused by inflicting physical or emotional pain, suffering or humiliation upon his partners. Whether or not the Sadistic Dom’s partner is a masochist is usually not relevant to the pleasure he derives from it. (See also: Dominant, Masochism, Sadism)
Sadomasochism. (See: Masochism, Sadism, Sadistic Dominant)
Safe Word. A safe word is a pre-arranged, mutually understood and agreed-upon code-word that can be used by a bottom during a BDSM scene to signal to the Top and/or anyone else present that all activity must stop immediately. The use of a safe-word is typically the result of one or more of the bottom’s soft or hard limits being exceeded; however, for all practical purposes, it can be used anytime a bottom cannot continue with a scene, since one of the defining characteristics of a safe word is that no explanation is required, nor should one be demanded when it is used. A safe word should be unusual enough that it is not uttered inadvertently or misunderstood when it is used deliberately, however it should not be so unusual that it can’t be recalled or is difficult to say when in pain or under stress.
Saint Andrews Cross. The St Andrew’s cross, which is also sometimes referred to as an X-frame or saltire cross, consists essentially of two cross-beams in the form of a large letter “X”, with hardware at the ends of the beams to facilitate the attachment of wrist and ankle restraints. It may or may not be padded, may be completely vertical or canted, and can be constructed from practically any sturdy material. Bottoms may be attached facing the cross or facing outward, depending on the type of play being contemplated. (See also: Bondage, Racks, Restraints)
S.A.M./Sammy. Acronym for Smart-ass Masochist. A Sammy is a submissive who intentionally misbehaves, lacks discipline, and/or refuses to observe generally accepted customs and protocol. (See also: Brat, Masochist, Protocol, Service Top, Submissive, Topping from the Bottom)
Saran Wrap. (See: Bondage, Breath play, Mummification, Immobilization, Postural asphyxiation)
Scene. A BDSM scene may refer to any BDSM activity and setting; however it more accurately refers to a BDSM activity that is done in front of an audience. A scene should be considered a performance, and not be interrupted or interfered with in any way. Scenes do not usually involve explicitly sexual activity, but there are always exceptions, and it is not uncommon for participants (or even observers) to experience a sexual reaction to what might be considered by most to be a non-sexual activity. Before participating in any kind of BDSM scene, always be sure that all participants are clear on exactly what will be involved, whether it will involve sex, and what safety measures will be in effect. (See also: Bondage, Bottom, Impact play, Fluid bonding, Role play, Safe word, Top)
Sensation Play. Sensation play refers to any activity that involves a sharp focus on the physical sensations of touch, temperature, taste, smell, hearing, and sight. Some types of sensation play may be very subtle and others not quite so subtle. Sensation play may also include sensory deprivation activities, such as the use of blindfolds. Other examples of sensation play are: tickle play, temperature play (i.e. ice or hot wax), electrical play (i.e. violet wands or TENS units), abrasion, and cupping. (See also: Abrasion play, Blindfolds, Cupping, Electrical play, EMS units, Hot wax play, TENS units, Tickle play, Violet wand)
Service Sub/Slave. (See also: Domestic)
Service Top. A Service Top is a person who is topping, or acting in a dominant role, at the request or direction of their partner, who is a bottom, submissive, or switch. This type of direction or guidance by the bottom is sometimes called topping from the bottom. (See also: Top, Switch, Bottom, Topping from the bottom.)
Shibari. A form of Japanese rope bondage that involves highly intricate and visually appealing patterns and knots. In the BDSM lifestyle, there is a robust sub-culture devoted almost entirely to rope bondage in general, and Japanese rope bondage in particular. Some devotees of shibari make the distinction between shibari, which is technically the art of tying and knotting, and kinbaku, which is the application of that art in an erotic or sexual way. (See also: Bondage, Kinbaku, Restraints, Rope play, Suspension)
Slapping. Striking the face with an open hand; usually done to heighten a submissive’s emotional state. Face slapping is often an activity enjoyed by those who seek humiliation as part of their BDSM play. As a general rule, it is usually a good idea to ensure that your partner wants to have this done before engaging in it, since this is an activity that can be an instant source of misunderstanding, and can turn ugly really fast. (See also: Humiliation, Impact play, Spanking)
Slave. A submissive who cultivates and enjoys the illusion that he or she has no free will. The fact that this is an illusion should surprise no one, since the foundation of any D/s relationship is always consent. Many in the lifestyle consider this a form of consensual non-consent. The many different types of slaves could literally fill an entire book, but it should suffice to say that the word slave can mean very different things to different people. Anyone considering becoming a slave should define exactly what that means to everyone involved, especially when one considers the fact that the law takes a dim view of anything that resembles actual slavery. (See also: Consent, Consensual non-consent, Gor, Master)
Slave Contract. A slave contract is an agreement which requires the slave to relinquish all personal rights, property, finances and decision making powers to the slave-owner or Master. Even though they are quite popular, especially in the online BDSM community, there are numerous reasons why slave contracts are illegal and unenforceable. (See also: Consent, Consensual non-consent, Gor, Master)
Sleep Sack. A sleep sack is simply a cloth bag similar to a sleeping bag which can be
used to enclose a person either entirely or with the head protruding. It is used most commonly as a unique form of bondage and often in conjunction with other forms of BDSM play such as age play and abduction play. (See also: Bondage, Restraints)
Smotherbox. A smother box is a device used in activities involving queening or face sitting. It is a box with two openings - one on the vertical face of the box to allow the head entry into the box, and the other in the top of the box to expose the face to the Dominant’s genitals, above. The inside of a smotherbox is sometimes padded to prevent the head from moving. (See also: Face sitting, Humiliation, Queening, Queening stool.)
Spanking. Any striking activity that involves an open hand, unless it is to the face or breasts, in which case it is usually considered slapping. While spanking is generally associated with strikes to the buttocks, it is also fairly common for spankings to target the inner thighs, backs of the legs, and the groin area. Depending on the D/s dynamic, spankings can be delivered as either reward or punishment, or even a combination of the two. Some people like to differentiate an erotic spanking (which usually involves sexual fondling or other sex acts) from a simple spanking, which does not. A spanking can be an end in itself, or used as a type of foreplay that is used to heighten psychological or physical arousal. Spankings are often combined with bondage, age play, and other types of scenes. (See also: Impact play, Pussy spanking, Slapping)
Speculum. A speculum (plural: specula) is a hand-held medical device which facilitates looking into body cavities. It is used most commonly by a gynecologist to examine a woman’s vagina, obtain a Pap test sample, or to conduct a biopsy. Specula may come in a variety of designs, to include vaginal, anal, dilating, and even some with mechanisms to inflate the body cavity with air. In the BDSM culture, specula are used primarily in medical role play. (See also: Medical play)
Spreader Bar. A spreader bar is a device designed to keep a person’s legs spread wide apart in order to provide easy access to his or her genitalia. It is essentially just a stick, two to four feet in length, with rings at each end, to which ankle (or sometimes, wrist) cuffs may be attached. Some spreader bar designs incorporate additional features such as center-mounted shackles for wrists or collars, adjustable length, extra rings or clips, or suspension gear. (See also: Bondage, Restraints)
Squick. Squick is a recently coined word which means to be viscerally turned-off by something. It is often used synonymously for repulsed or disgusted, as in, “Scat play really squicks me out.” It is generally believed that the word is a combination of squeamish and icky, though the actual etymology is unclear. There has been some controversy regarding whether or not repulsion and/or disgust carry connotations of judgment and moralizing. This is a particularly sensitive topic in a culture where judging and moralizing are generally considered the ultimate taboo. Being disgusted by a BDSM scene may imply to some that you consider what the participants are doing to be morally wrong. On the other hand, certain foods can disgust you without there being any implication of moral judgment. This controversy is not likely to be settled anytime soon.
S.S.C. Acronym for Safe, Sane, and Consensual. For many years, SSC was a popular mantra of the BDSM culture; however recently it has come under a great deal of scrutiny and criticism for being far too subjective to be useful. Obviously, one person’s notion of what is “safe” can differ greatly from another’s, and sanity can be hard to define in any context. (See also: Consent, Consensual non-consent, R.A.C.K.)
Stocks. Stocks and pillories were popular in medieval times as a form of public humiliation and punishment. The two terms are often used interchangeably, but they are technically two very different devices. Both typically consist of hinged or sliding planks of wood with cut-outs used for restraining certain parts of the human body. A pillory, however, is used to restrain the hands and neck only, and is supported in such a way that the person in it must stand. Stocks are set vertically and used to immobilize only the subject’s arms and legs while he typically sits. Some variations immobilize all three appendages - the neck, arms, and legs. Stocks, pillories, and similar devices are usually generically referred to as stocks. (See also: Bondage, Discipline, Humiliation)
Strait Jacket. A straitjacket is typically a canvas garment top that closes in the back and has overly long sleeves which, when worn, are crossed over the chest and then tied or buckled in the back, which prevents the wearer from using his arms and hands. Some newer designs are made with leather, latex rubber, PVC or a combination of those materials. Minor variations can include arms that cross in the back instead of across the chest, the addition of wrist or crotch straps, breast-access zippers, built-in toy harnesses, built-in chastity belts, and sturdy closures or fasteners that will accommodate padlocks. (See also: Abduction play, Bondage, Interrogation play, Medical play, Prison fantasy)
Strap-on. A strap-on dildo is a phallic sex toy designed to be worn with a harness. They exist in a variety of different configurations and styles which are usually worn over the groin area, but are also sometimes worn on other parts of the body and even the face. Strap-ons can be worn by either sex, and are used for vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, and even masturbation. (See also: Bottom, Pegging, Top)
Strapping. Strapping is a generic term for using a length of leather, such as a belt, in impact play. The term may also sometimes also refer to restraints, as in, “strapping someone to the equipment.” (See also: Impact play, Whipping)
Submissive. A submissive is someone who acts in a compliant or submissive role in life, and especially in relationships. A submissive may be a “true submissive” in the sense that this trait is firmly hard-wired into his or her psyche and the submissive simply doesn’t know any other way to be, or he or she may be acting out a role, consciously or unconsciously. A submissive is defined primarily by his or her deep-seated desire to serve and please another, while feeling loved, cherished and cared for by a Dominant partner. A submissive may or may not have any knowledge or connection to the BDSM lifestyle. A submissive may or may not be a bottom, and vice versa. A bottom is someone who temporarily or situationally assumes the role of a submissive specifically for BDSM play. (See also: Bottom, Dominant, Role play, Scene)
Subspace. Subspace refers to an altered state of consciousness that may occur when a submissive or bottom experiences intense levels of pain, pleasure, or emotion either during or after a BDSM scene or activity. It is, in many ways, similar to a mild hypnotic state, to which each individual reacts differently. Subspace may manifest itself as a euphoric feeling, detachment from reality, confusion, incoherence, inability to speak, and/or unusual or inappropriate behaviors. There has been some controversy regarding whether it is a real phenomenon with broad application at all, with some experts claiming that subspace may simply be a matter of individual physiology and body chemistry. Some people, when in pain or under a great deal of stress or highly aroused, release a flood of endorphins, serotonin or dopamine into their bloodstreams, which are natural painkillers and can produce a euphoric state. Regardless of whether it is something that can happen to anyone, or is reserved for the lucky few who have the right body chemistry, it happens often enough that precautions should be taken, and after-care provided following a scene. (See also: Aftercare, Bottom, Masochism, Topspace)
Suspension. Refers to a sub-category of rope play that involves suspending the subject from the ceiling or frames by rope, harness, or other device. Suspensions may be highly elaborate, as in the case of certain shibari practices, or very simple, involving not much more than a store-bought leather harness or swing. (See also: Bondage, Kinbaku, Restraints, Rope play, Shibari)
Switch. A Switch is a person in the D/s lifestyle who, on the “dominance scale,” falls somewhere between Dominant on one end of the scale and submissive on the other end. The switch has characteristics of both and is generally able to assume either role as appropriate for role play and sometimes, in real life as well. It is a commonly held misconception that Switches make the best Dominants (or sub
missives), just as it is a myth that one must first learn to be a good submissive, before becoming a Dominant. Switches fall into two general categories. BDSM Switches are individuals who enjoy performing in either the role of a Top or a Bottom, depending upon the circumstances, their moods, or their partners. D/s Switches are people who feel and relate to their partners as Dominants or submissives, for essentially the same reasons.
Swolly. Swolly refers to a person who is both polyamorous and a swinger. Specifically, one who has multiple simultaneous loving relationships, yet also enjoys recreational sex in a swinging context. (See also: Polyamory)
Table Play. Table play refers to BDSM activities that occur on a table, typically a table that has been specially outfitted for play with padding, securing rings, or other devices. Tables may be outfitted for use as bondage platforms, torture racks, or even medical examination tables. (See also: Medical play, Racks)
Tampon Training. Tampon play is any scene related activity that involves tampons. The tampons themselves may not necessarily be the object of a paraphilia (sexual arousal from objects not typically associated with sex) but may be used to create a sense of embarrassment or humiliation. Tampons may be used in tampon play in a variety of ways, to include vaginally, anally, orally, and for public humiliation purposes. (See also: FemDom, Forced feminization, Humiliation, Paraphilia)
TENS Unit. Acronym which stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. A device that uses electrical current to stimulate nerves by attaching two or more electrodes to the skin and passing a current through them. Not to be confused with a purple wand, or violet wand. (See also: Electricity play, EMS unit, Violet Wand)
Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook Page 49