by Mike McCarty
(Reaction shots of the surprised faces of DR. BELLAMY, COLONEL PETRIE and PRIVATE KINSEY.)
(Suddenly a strong gust of wind literally blows the dried, powdery flesh off of BEAUREGARD’s face. The gleam of the skull indicates that it is made of metal.)
DR. BELLAMY: Metal bones...?
(Suddenly we hear MAE BELLE scream. DR. BELLAMY, COLONEL PETRIE and PRIVATE KINSEY all turn to see MAE BELLE standing just inside the front doorway, peering out at the skeleton of BEAUREGARD.)
MAE BELLE: My poor brother! It is now clear that we were never meant to leave!
(DR. BELLAMY, COLONEL PETRIE and PRIVATE KINSEY re-enter the house and they all stand in the foyer, to one side of MAE BELLE.)
DR. BELLAMY (to MAE BELLE): I don’t understand. Why can’t you leave? Why did–that!–happen to your brother?
PRIVATE KINSEY: And why did he have a metal skeleton?
COLONEL PETRIE (sternly to PRIVATE KINSEY): Private, I suggest you leave the questions to Dr. Bellamy and myself. (Turning to MAE BELLE) Can you tell us why your brother had a metal skeleton?
MAE BELLE: My dearly departed brother and I have been prisoners of that–that thing upstairs–ever since it entered our home and our lives–during the Civil War!
DR. BELLAMY: But that means–
MAE BELLE: Yes, I am no doubt the oldest living woman on the face of the Earth. That thing, that horror–the Alienoid!–gave us bones made out of metal from another world, as one of his many vile experiments to artificially prolong our lives. The interior of the house is suffused with strange energy, generated by the creature’s evil science. No wonder Beauregard’s flesh fell to dust upon leaving! That energy was probably the only thing that was keeping us...alive...(MAE BELLE bursts in tears.)
(DR. BELLAMY rushes to her side and puts an arm around MAE BELLE to console her.)
MAE BELLE: I apologize for my earlier churlishness. I’ll take you fine gentlemen to your friends now. (To PRIVATE KINSEY) But first, young man, you will need to go outside and bring me a key from my brother’s pocket....
(In the mist, BUSTER, briefcase in hand, is crouching by the side of EDITH, who is still unconscious.)
BUSTER (to the ALIENOID): Please–don’t hurt us!
(The ALIENOID points a claw at EDITH and suddenly she opens her eyes and stares blankly at BUSTER.)
EDITH (Her voice is now deeper and has an oddly metallic tone to it): Greetings, human male. I am the Alienoid. I have taken control of your female companion’s mind so I can communicate through her. My own vocal cords do not function in the air surrounding us, which replicates your Earth atmosphere. I live on oxygen like you, but on my home planet of Sykotyka, the oxygen is mixed with methane and various alien gases that you do not have on this trifling planet. I need those gases to be able to use my own vocal cords to speak.
BUSTER: What is this...place? All this mist...?
EDITH (in the deeper ALIENOID tone): I have created my own self-enclosed quasi-dimension in this room, to give me the space I need to conduct various...experiments. It has an atmosphere that you pathetic humans can breathe without dying. In those mists, I am conducting experiments that would drive you mad with their terrifying complexity!
BUSTER: But...why?
EDITH (in the deeper ALIENOID tone): On my world, I was a scientist. I am here to conduct experiments that those on my own planet would not allow me to attempt. For many years, the two who dwell in this house have been the subjects of many of my experiments. I have extended their lives far beyond their natural spans. On my planet, we have learned to conquer death. I am far, far older than you could ever hope to believe–and yet, I am really only a child. And now I have two new experimental subjects–two new playthings. You and your female companion!
(In the upstairs hallway, DR. BELLAMY, COLONEL PETRIE, and PRIVATE KINSEY follow MAE BELLE toward the door of the room of the ALIENOID. MAE BELLE holds the key to the room.)
MAE BELLE: Poor Beauregard–dead, finally dead after all these years. I certainly will miss him...The doorway is up ahead. Soon you will be with your friends.
DR. BELLAMY: They’re no friends of ours. They’ve stolen a valuable scientific invention.
MAE BELLE: Really? And what exactly does this intriguing invention do?
COLONEL PETRIE: I’m afraid we can’t divulge that information. It’s a national secret.
MAE BELLE: Oh fiddle-dee-dee! As you can tell from Beauregard’s tragic example, I shall never be able to leave this house! Who in the world do you think I’m going to tell? Your precious secret would be quite safe with me, I assure you.
DR. BELLAMY (to COLONEL PETRIE): She has a point there.
MAE BELLE: Perhaps you gentlemen should tell me about this device of yours. It may be something you don’t want the Alienoid to play with–he just loves to tinker with things in the most awful way!
COLONEL PETRIE: Suffice it to say that the device in question involves experiments in the nature of Time...MAE BELLE: Heavens! Then we’d better get in that room right away! That horrid creature has the most ferocious curiosity about Time! There’s no telling what he might do with it!
EDITH (in the deeper ALIENOID tone): You seem to guard that black rectangular container with great possessiveness. Tell me what is inside of it!
BUSTER (alarmed): Nothing! Nothing at all! Just a change of clothes and some underwear!
(BUSTER is looking at EDITH, so he does not see the ALIENOID lunge forward and grab the briefcase. The foot of the ALIENOID brushes against BUSTER and he turns, startled–but too late. The ALIENOID now has the briefcase.)
BUSTER (gazing up at the ALIENOID):: You–you unearthly monster! That’s mine! Do you hear me? Mine!
(BUSTER throws himself at the ALIENOID. The ALIENOID drops the briefcase and it pops open, revealing the Time De-Mulsifier inside. BUSTER and the ALIENOID wrestle, rolling around in the mist. EDITH shakes her head as though waking from a long sleep, and with groggy awkwardness, she rises to her feet.)
(Just then, the door opens and MAE BELLE, DR. BELLAMY, COLONEL PETRIE, and PRIVATE KINSEY enter the misty quasi-dimension. The ALIENOID breaks away from BUSTER and runs to EDITH, grabbing her and holding her in front of him as a human shield.)
EDITH (in the deeper ALIENOID tone): Now that I am closer to the female I cam read her thought-waves more clearly–and I now discern that the device you carry allows the bearer to redistribute Time energy! Give me the device, foolish human, or I will subject your female companion to unspeakable torments! (Suddenly EDITH screams and collapses to the ground, dead. The ALIENOID recoils from the corpse, clearly shocked by this unexpected development.)
MAE BELLE (looking down at EDITH): Oh no! Oh, Sugar! (Looking up at the ALIENOID) You–you malevolent peppersnipe!
BUSTER (to the ALIENOID): Edith had a weak heart–you terrified her to death! Where I come from, that’s called murder. Just for that, I’m going to use the Time De-Mulsifier on you. I’m afraid your time has just run out! (BUSTER turns on the machine and aims it at the ALIENOID. Waves of energy zap back and forth between the device and the ALIENOID. When the process is complete, the ALIENOID has changed into a desiccated corpse. The hideous cadaver collapses into a large, loose pile of dried tissues and metallic bones.)
DR. BELLAMY: The creature had a metallic skeleton, too! Fascinating!
MAE BELLE (turning to DR. BELLAMY): Fascinating? A young girl has just expired from being held in the filthy claws of a creature from beyond the stars, and all you can say is “fascinating”? Does ice water flow through your veins, sir? Have you no pity?
BUSTER (looking at the controls of the Time De-Mulsifier): The machine now has enormous amounts of time energy stored within! That–thing–must have had an incredibly long life-span. Well, I’m not letting this time go to waste! (BUSTER aims the Time De-Mulsifier at MAE BELLE. Waves of energy zap
back and forth between the device and MAE BELLE, who changes from an old woman into a lovely, young Southern belle.)
MAE BELLE: I–I’m young again! It’s a miracle!
COLONEL PETRIE: She’s beautiful! (PRIVATE KINSEY, who is standing by COLONEL PETRIE’S side, nods in agreement.)
(The Time De-Mulsifier starts to beep frantically. BUSTER looks at the controls again, confused.)
BUSTER: That creature must have had a life-span far beyond anything we can comprehend. There’s still too much energy in the Time De-Mulsifier–more than it can hold! It’s going to explode!
(BUSTER sets the Time De-Mulsifier on the ground as smoke begins to waft out of it. BUSTER, MAE BELLE, DR. BELLAMY, COLONEL PETRIE and PRIVATE KINSEY all start to run out of the misty dimension. PRIVATE KINSEY, bringing up the rear, trips over one of the ALIENOID’s bones and falls down, hitting his head on the creature’s huge metal skull.)
(In the hallway outside of the room, MAE BELLE has just finished closing the door behind BUSTER, DR. BELLAMY, and COLONEL PETRIE.)
MAE BELLE: I wonder how much time we have before–
(Suddenly the sound of a great explosion erupts from behind the door. MAE BELLE falls into BUSTER’S arms. DR. BELLAMY and COLONEL PETRIE are thrown to the floor.)
(When the explosion is over, MAE BELLE looks into BUSTER’S eyes. Clearly there is some chemistry between the two. MAE BELLE then opens the door just a crack and peeks cautiously inside. Then she throws the door wide open, to reveal a small room filled with assorted boxes of odds and ends.)
MAE BELLE: Why, look! The room has gone back to the way it was, before that horrible creature ever entered this house.
COLONEL PETRIE: What in the world just happened?
BUSTER (to COLONEL PETRIE): I think I can explain. The Alienoid created his own quasi-dimension in that room so he could perform his experiments. Being an artificially created dimension, it was no doubt highly unstable. Perhaps the experiments being conducted also added to its instability. When the overcharged Time De-Mulsifier exploded, it released such enormous amounts of time energy that the quasi-dimension imploded, taking everything in that alien mist with it. Even the body of my beloved Edith...(BUSTER begins to cry.)
MAE BELLE: You poor dear! (MAE BELLE gives BUSTER a consoling hug. Then she looks up.) Say...where did that young soldier go?
COLONEL PETRIE (looking around): Yes, where is Private Kinsey?
DR. BELLAMY: How tragic! He never made it out of the creature’s quasi-dimension.
MAE BELLE: That brave young man was the last victim of the Alienoid!
DR. BELLAMY: I know one thing: I will never build another Time De-Mulsifier. I now know that tampering with the laws of Time and Space was a terrible transgression. That creature tampered with the natural order, and now Beauregard, Edith and Private Kinsey are all dead.
BUSTER: Beauregard said that I should cry for the Alienoid, but I won’t shed any tears for that monster. (BUSTER turns to COLONEL PETRIE.) I suppose you’re going to arrest me now.
COLONEL PETRIE (shaking his head): No, you’ve suffered enough. And you did fight off that vile alien fiend. As far as I am concerned, you’re a free man.
BUSTER: But without Edith, I have nowhere to go.
DR. BELLAMY (to MAE BELLE): Now that you are young and no longer under the control of that creature, I am sure you will be able to leave the house again. You’ll want to return to the world of the living. But a lot of time has passed, and you will have much to do. Perhaps you will need some help...(DR. BELLAMY casts his eyes toward BUSTER.)
MAE BELLE (turning to BUSTER): What an excellent idea! Buster, this big old place will get so lonely without brother Beauregard. Why don’t you stay here and help me? Somebody needs to tell me what’s been going on in the world since the Civil War. Somebody needs to help me to start my life all over again. Buster, will you be that somebody?
(BUSTER nods and takes MAE BELLE in his arms. DR. BELLAMY and COLONEL PETRIE turn and walk down the hall.)
NAMELESS HOST (voice-over): The creation of new technology also raises new and disturbing questions. And while the world of Science may enjoy coming up with remarkable innovations, it must also be ready to deal with the long-term consequences. Go now, curious traveler, to your own life and loves, but remember what you have learned in...The Nightmare Quadrant.
Previously Unpublished Poetry by Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois
The Praying Mantis of Atlantis
by Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois
(Editor’s Note: Written in 1921, this rambunctious early poem reflects his lifelong obsession with insects–specifically, praying mantises.)
All hail the insect lord-of-lords
with compound eyes as big as gourds
who ruled the proud and ancient hordes
of legendary lost Atlantis. He
reigned long in that domain of fantasy,
that gloating demon, lean and mantissy.
He held sway with determination
and took a sort of wild elation
in causing widespread trepidation.
He sent his soldiers out to seize
the lands of other dynasties
and they succeeded with great ease.
The soldiers of that mantis horror
just kept marching, more and morer,
killing the poor and even poorer.
The power of that fiend was great–so very great that all that weight
of evil sunk that potentate
and all his minions. Down they went,
each lass and lady, lad and gent,
the whole entire continent,
beneath the salty waves. And now,
we wonder if that bug, somehow,
escaped–perhaps he seized the prow
of some fine ship. Is he alive?
Did he manage to survive?
Does he, to this day, still thrive?
What a strange and chilling thought,
to think he could elude death’s rot!
Maybe yes–or maybe
not.
A Method to My Madness
by Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois
(Editor’s Note: Written in 1961, Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois tried his hand at a playful, jaunty, not-entirely-unsuccessful mix of rhyme and free verse.)
How are things with you today?
Okay, I hope. The world’s a really
crazy place, and sometimes
it’s not good to be too sane.
You used to say my ramblings
were funny and delightful,
so sunny and insightful,
but that was then, and now
I’m only gambling on your love.
Snake eyes? That’s just fine with me.
A serpent tempted Eve, and I’m
your midnight rattler,
endless prattler, jolly jester,
private maniac! So please,
don’t ever tire of me,
just kiss and hug and love me.
My dainty dear, don’t ever go away
and we’ll stay strong
and get along
forever and a day.
Memories of Okra and Onions
by Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois
(Editor’s Note: Written in 1978, I personally consider this to be Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois’ finest poem.)
Mama used to cook okra and onions
just for me. Used to fry them up in pork fat
until the onions were mush
and the okra was leathery tough.
Hard to chew. Never easy.
Ridiculously greasy.
But still, I never got enough.
I miss stari
ng into that big old skillet!
I miss watching Mama fill it
with big fresh chunks of pork fat
that melted and swirled,
with big fat okra
and juicy red onions
and all the love in the world.
That Big Old Crazy Moon Got Stuck in a Catalpa Tree
by Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois
(Editor’s Note: Written in 1997, this was the last poem ever written by Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois.)
That moon, that big old crazy moon,
got stuck in a catalpa tree.
Velvety elephant-ear leaves
flap-flap-flapped at the fat face
of that big old crazy moon, to no avail.
Delicately scented white blossoms wafted
their genteel aroma, hither and yond,
hoping to beguile that big old crazy moon
with memories of past dalliances–as if that big old moon had the capacity
to remember even the tiniest thing, or indeed,
had ever enjoyed dalliances of any kind.
That wicked tree pricked and pierced the moon
with a thousand seedpods–long, slender,
darkly sinuous and cruelly pointed–and that moon, that big old crazy moon,
frantic and longing to rid itself
of its leafy tormentor, at last tore free
and sailed off with a gentle sigh
into the endless night.
A Timeline of the Major Creative Works of Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois
Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois kept terrible records, so it took considerable research to compile this timeline–and it still may not be complete. Information on some of his movies was revealed during the interviews for this project, and those movies have been included below.
1900: Alphonse Sweetwater-DuBois was born on December 12.
1929: I Picked You a Strawberry, poetry collection, Bayou Press.
1933: In The Luscious Shade of the Catalpa Tree, poetry collection, Bayou Press.
1938: Crawdad Moon, novel, Bayou Press.
1942: Gumbo Witch, novel, Royale Books.