by Pol Robinson
“Oh, you wait and see.” Jan reached down the table and pulled the fried noodles back in front of her. She looked over toward Cass who’d said nothing yet and was simply watching. “So, Cass, what’s your story?”
“Story?”
Sarah leaned back in the booth, her arm around Pam as they nestled together. “Cass’s story is that she’s brilliant and is saving our butts.”
“Amen,” echoed Pam with a rueful smile at her partner before turning to nudge Cass. “Seriously, Cass. I’m glad you’re here. If I can’t row with Sarah, I’m glad it’s you.”
Cass was saved from having to answer by the waitress’s return, arms laden with steaming bowls of rice and plates of delicious, colorful foods. Amy and Kim began doling out portions as the others claimed various dishes, leaving Cass to ponder Pam’s words. She’d been nervous about meeting Pam, since she was essentially taking the other woman’s place on the team, but each time they’d had a chance to talk, Pam had been nothing but warm and welcoming to her.
As everyone settled down to her food, Cass took a moment to sort out her answer to Jan’s original question. She knew it was bound to come up again.
What was her story, really? Boring, certainly.
With dinner came small cups of sweet-smelling liquid that burned on the first swallow but then became increasingly more appealing. Cass relaxed and laughed more as dinner continued, joining in the gentle ribbing of Amy and her appetite as plates were passed around a second time. It was hard for her to slip out of her usual role of observer and to just let herself relax and be a part of things. The drink, which Jan told them was rice wine, helped. Soon she found herself cracking up at another of Ellie’s bad puns and joining in as the others egged Amy on in her quest to try the spiciest dish the restaurant had to offer.
As dinner wound down, the question, as Cass had known it would, came around again. Kim nudged Cass’s newly refilled cup of rice wine toward her and said, “Hey, wait, let’s get back to the important stuff. Cass, I think it’s your turn. You don’t have anyone coming out here for you?”
Cass, quite comfortably numb by this point, just shrugged. “Nope.”
“What’s the deal with that?”
Shrugging, Cass worked to keep her voice level as she answered. “No deal, just...no family, really.”
Amy, perhaps sensing Cass’s discomfort, spoke up. “It’s not like Cass is the only one with nobody coming. It would have cost my brother a ton to get his ticket, and he would have had to leave his girl at home.”
“True,” said Ellie. “My folks barely managed it.”
“Still,” Jan probed. “Cass, nobody back home pining?”
Cass looked closely at Jan, wondering what was behind the question. She studied her, seeing nothing but curiosity in Jan’s gaze. Glancing around the table, she could see the others waiting for her answer. Again, she could sense nothing but genuine friendly curiosity. “Nope. I...well, I guess I’ve just never, you know. Been in love.”
“Who’s talking about love?” Amy slammed her glass down on the table, sloshing the last of her drink in her enthusiasm. “We’re talkin’ wild, hot, monkey-sex.”
The women around the table erupted in laughter, taking the focus off Cass and she was grateful. Sarah began teasing Amy about her many purported conquests and Ellie and Kim joined in.
Shifting uncomfortably, Cass wished there was a way she could slide out of the booth before they remembered that she hadn’t answered. Unfortunately, she was tucked between Pam and the window. She sighed.
Pam nudged Cass’s shoulder. “Are we making you uncomfortable? We all sort of did this when we made the team, back in San Diego. I think Jan and Ellie...well, they’re protective of Laura, and—”
“Laura?” Cass kept her voice as low as Pam’s, glad the others’ attention was elsewhere. “I don’t understand. Why would they—”
“Hey! After this let’s go check out the Bird’s Nest!” Amy pulled out her map and began muttering furiously over it, Ellie and Jan leaning in to help her.
Smiling, Pam leaned back into Sarah’s arm and shrugged, answering Cass’s question. “I don’t know. I just know that you’re getting the third degree in a more, um, concentrated form than we all got a couple of months ago. Don’t worry about it.”
Cass nodded and reached for the bottle of wine in the middle of the table. She never drank much, but tonight she felt the need.
Chapter Thirteen
Cass pushed open the door to the common room assigned to the U.S. team and grandly waved her teammates inside. Laura looked up from her book as the laughing women burst through the doors. Their breathless laughter was apparently contagious and a small half smile crept across Laura’s features, and she raised an eyebrow as the team joined her.
Cass, Amy, Sarah and several others on the team had been sightseeing in the city all afternoon. The goal, according to Amy, had been to “get as used to the pea-soup air as possible.” Laura had decided not to join them, telling Amy that she preferred to stay and watch some of the other squads practice their runs down the course. Amy had tried hard to persuade Laura to come and had been a bit miffed that she’d declined. Apparently over her anger, the tiny coxswain bounced across the room and leaned over the arm of the chair in which Laura was curled.
“What’cha reading, Laura-dora?”
A second eyebrow joined the first and Laura leaned her head back to focus on Amy’s too-close face. “Laura-dora? What the heck is that?”
“It’s your new mickmane, er, nickname.” The women with Amy snickered and settled themselves on the couches and chairs around the conversation pit.
“Ames? Have you been into the sake?”
“Nope.”
“No?”
“Nope-a-rooney.” More snickers followed as Amy slowly slid her small frame over the arm of the chair and into Laura’s lap. Laura’s eyebrows rose higher and she bit back a smile. Sober Amy was hard to resist, her infectious enthusiasm making her a fun companion. Inebriated Amy was hysterical.
“So...to what do I owe the pleasure of your...non-saked up company?”
“Rice.”
By now the rest of the women were laughing out loud; Sarah was wiping tears from her face, her arm around her girlfriend who also convulsed with mirth. They were slumped together on the low couch. Sitting on the floor, her back propped up against their knees, was Cass, trying to focus on the women before her. Others were sprawled in various positions of comfort around the common room, enjoying the show. Cass caught her breath as Laura looked around at the laughing bunch, her gaze resting briefly on Cass’s as she tried again to make sense of Amy’s words. Oh, those green eyes.
“Rice?”
“Uh-huh. Rice swine. Drunken piggies.” That sent the women howling to the floor, and Cass could see that Laura was no closer to the answer to why her boat’s cox was apparently drunk as a frat boy on a Saturday night. Laura gently shifted Amy off her lap and onto the floor.
“Cass? Care to share how a pig could get your roommate drunk?”
Cass, still chuckling and wiping her eyes, tried to catch her breath. She could see the light of humor in Laura’s eyes, the hint of suppressed laughter in her tone. It was the first time she’d seen the stoic woman smile—or almost smile. “Not a pig, wine. You know, rice wine? Well, we had some with lunch, which was pork and one thing led to another and...”
“Ah. Rice-swine.” Laura chuckled softly, watching as Amy carefully tried to focus on her fingertips. “Um, Amy? I think we ought to get you into bed.”
“Oh, Laura, I thought you’d never ask.” Amy’s overly dramatic and slightly breathless reply sent the group into gales of laughter again, except for Cass.
Amy’s words struck her and she sat, frozen on the pillows on the floor. Ow. Damn. Well, that was a surprise. I guess Laura and Amy...what do you care? The woman pisses you off, remember? Still, Cass was surprised by how much Amy’s response to Laura’s innocent words twisted her guts. Get a grip, pal. We’ve ba
rely said ten words to each other and most of them not very warm. Amy and Laura. Damn.
Suddenly sober, Cass shoved herself up from the floor. She turned her back on Laura as she easily lifted Amy into her arms. The now-drowsy cox laid her head against Laura’s shoulder and muttered, burrowing into her soft perch.
Laura glanced at the others in the room, realizing she’d get no help from them. She needed another pair of hands...
“Cass?”
“What?”
Laura’s head snapped up at Cass’s brittle tone. “Well, your happy juice certainly wore off fast. Mind opening your door for me?” She gestured with her chin as she settled Amy more comfortably in her arms.
Chagrined, Cass nodded. Ease up Cass, jeez. “Sorry, headache.” She led Laura to the room she shared with Amy, wondering: if they were a couple, why Amy wasn’t rooming with Laura? And why hadn’t she known they were together? A few of the girls on the team were obviously couples and they all shared rooms. It wasn’t team policy, but once the squad was settled, the roommate assignments generally got quietly shuffled as needed. Cass realized that her coming had probably messed up Laura and Amy’s plans.
“Look, if you want to room here, I can—”
Laura ducked under the low ceiling of the bunk bed and settled Amy gently on the bed. Amy immediately curled up facing the wall and began to snore softly. Laura turned and frowned at Cass, clearly puzzled by her comment. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because you’re...you and Amy...I mean, she said...” Crud. Maybe she had had too much rice wine at lunch. Laura was staring at her with the most peculiar expression coloring her classic features. She caught her breath as Laura grinned. Wow, that smile packs a punch and a half. Shit. Cass set her hand over her stomach to calm the butterflies suddenly flying around inside her.
With Amy snug under the covers, Laura sat gently on the side of the lower bunk, careful not to disturb the sleeping woman. She stared at Cass’s flushed face, her gaze intense, then her eyes widened slightly in apparent realization. “Oh. I get it.” Laura chuckled softly, the first sound of laughter Cass had heard from the usually quiet athlete. The rich, husky sound went straight through Cass, warming her from head to toe. “Amy and I aren’t a couple. She’s, ah, not my...well, let’s just say that she prefers what I don’t have.” Laura cocked her head and studied Cass as Cass sat in the lone chair in the room, distinctly uncomfortable.
“Oh. I...oh.” Cass’s butterflies increased as Laura gazed at her. Get a grip! She waited a moment, willing the whirling in her stomach to subside while she scrambled for something intelligent to say. Laura unsettled her and the wine wasn’t helping. In fact... “I think I’m going to...um, uh-oh.”
Laura’s eyes widened in alarm and she quickly grabbed Cass’s shoulders and spun her toward the small bathroom shared with the room next door. Laura eased Cass to her knees and pulled her brown curls away from her face. For just a second Cass, despite the imminent eruption, was aware of Laura’s fingers tangled in her hair, her grip supportive and gentle. Her stomach lurched again, but Cass wasn’t sure if it was the drink or the fact that Laura’s hand had slipped to the back of her neck in a near-caress.
Cass’s whole body jerked at Laura’s touch. “Go away, I don’t need any help.” Cass’s words cut sharply through the air and Laura froze.
“I’m sorry?”
Mortified by her weakness and feeling her stomach rebelling even more, Cass was desperate to get Laura away. She hated being sick and hated even more that it was Laura witnessing her weakness. “I said, I don’t need you. I just need to be left alone.”
I just need to be left alone.
The words, combined with the stark whiteness of the small room and the ever-present, albeit faint smell of bleach seemed to trigger something in Laura. Cass’s sharp command echoed through the small room as Laura reeled backward. Cass caught her breath, her own discomfort forgotten at the expression on Laura’s face. It was as if Laura wasn’t here with her anymore. She watched as Laura glanced wildly around, her eyes darting from the floor to the tub and back again. Sweat beaded on her face and her breathing grew rapid, shallow.
Cass jumped as Laura let out a low moan of pain, her face going the palest shade of white, her eyes far away. She pushed herself shakily to her feet as Laura stumbled back against the doorframe. She was afraid. Afraid to reach out and touch Laura. It was clear that Laura was not seeing her right now, and Cass was almost too afraid to know what she was seeing.
Despite her fear she reached out, easing toward Laura’s shaking frame. Very softly, she said, “Laura, hey…”
With another low cry, Laura bolted from the room. Cass stumbled after her in time to see Laura push past the others in the common room and disappear down the hall. Coach Adler stepped into the room and strode to Cass’s doorway. Cass could only stare at the coach, dumbstruck over what had just happened.
“What the hell was that?” Sheila’s pointed question rose over the general confusion in the room.
Cass shook her head. “I...I don’t know. I was...then she…” Cass swallowed hard against the rising tide inside her. “She was...oh, God. I’m going to—” Cass spun and ran back into her room’s bathroom just in time.
As she sat hunched over the toilet, she replayed over and over again the anguish on Laura’s face. The pain. The same question rolled around in her head. “What had happened?” That question was followed by another. “How can I make it better?” Cass didn’t know what to do with either question.
Chapter Fourteen
Tipping her head to shade her eyes against the glare of the setting sun, Cass leaned back on her elbows and watched the last of the crews practice for the day. She looked around as the teams finished. This really was a spectacular venue. The Shunyi Olympic Rowing-Canoeing Park had been built just for this event and it seemed to just flow with the scenery. She remembered her first view of the boathouse, with its undulating roof that mirrored the currents of the race causeway and the soothing, earth-toned colors of the walls and hallways. The permanent and floating docks, too, fit the space beautifully, offering an entry into the water without marring the line of the riverbanks. A spectacular place to compete. And to win.
A shout on the water pulled her attention back; the U.S. eight was on the water and nearing the finish line. Cass could just make out Amy’s voice across the nearly still water, counting out the stroke she wanted her rowers to make as they practiced their “power tens;” the kick-it-into-gear stroke that could practically lift a shell out of the water and make it fly to the finish. It took a great deal of practice to get that synchronization right. Sweep rowing always looked odd to Cass. The idea of getting all eight women and all eight oars going at exactly the same time seemed an impossible task. Amy, an almost invisible red dot tucked into the stern of the boat, was taking the women through the transition from the racing rate to the higher-powered finish stroke rate. From Cass’s perspective, it looked as if two of the women were having problems making a smooth transition. Cass wondered idly if Coach would have an alternate seat-race for one of the slots. That kind of intrasquad competition sometimes served as a wake-up call for rowers who were coasting along and letting the rest of the team carry them.
Cass closed her eyes and tilted her head back, enjoying the feel of the sun on her face and body. The light tank she’d put on after her earlier water training accented the muscles in her broad shoulders and the solid definition in her arms. Her white shorts came to mid-thigh and showcased the funny “rower’s tan” that was the hazard of her racing unitard. She kicked off her sandals and buried her toes in the warm sand, enjoying the rare moment of inactivity. Every day since her arrival had been filled with introductions, to the other members of the team and to the coaches, assistants, trainers and doctors who made up the support aspect of their group or with intense training sessions. Everyone had been warm and welcoming, making her feel a part of the group almost from the first night.
One exception... C
ass opened her eyes and tracked the U.S. boat as it came by for another pass. Seated in the number eight seat, the stroke seat, Laura set the rate for the crew according to Amy’s instructions. Cass knew that Laura was on the money. Amy wouldn’t rave about her if she were not right there when it counted. And Laura’s record spoke for her capability: two National Championship medals in the eight and the four, along with her spectacular showing in the Pan Am Games last year. Personally, however... Cass shaded her eyes, trying to make out the features of the women out on the water.
Cass squirmed as she thought of the brief conversation they had managed four days ago in her dorm. She probably thinks you’re an idiot. Could you have acted any more like a rookie? First you assume she’s sleeping with your roommate, then you kick her out when she’s trying to help you not toss your cookies on the floor. She wished she could have a do-over for that whole evening, starting with the first cup of rice wine Amy had given her.
Several times since, in the gym and as the team worked out together, Cass had looked up to discover Laura watching her. But when she’d offered a tentative smile, Laura would quickly look away. Despite their amicable dinner together during the team family night dinner, Laura remained an enigma. Cass did not know if she was simply shy or just very antisocial. Whichever, Cass had decided not to let Laura’s attitude get to her. She was doing well here—she and Sarah were clicking as a team and she felt good about their prospects. They had less than two weeks to go before the start of the Games...the regatta...and it was coming together for them. That’s what counted. Everything else was secondary as far as she was concerned.
Still...it bothered her. Something about Laura drew her, pulled at her. Cass found herself watching for her in the gym and in the village. Whenever the squad made plans to go somewhere, she unconsciously looked to Laura to see what she wanted to do. She didn’t want to, she couldn’t seem to help herself. Despite Laura’s seeming antipathy toward her, Cass felt...something.