by Jennifer Ann
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it sounds like I answer with:
“She’s just some girl who moved out here from a farm in the Midwest. Cheap and easy. That’s it. End of story.”
Violent lurches seize my insides. What in the actual fuck was that? I remember Lorenzo suggesting these things after Evelyn’s picture went viral, but that’s not anything close to how it played out. Our words have been spliced together. Someone was fucking recording our conversation. Madison? Gwen?
When the camera cuts back to the reporter, Evelyn stops the video and stares at me with big tears rolling down her cheeks. “You’re going to try to tell me that’s bullshit even though the words came out of your mouth, right?”
I step closer to her, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands. I will destroy whoever is behind this. “I know how this sounds, but that’s not what was said. Lorenzo suggested it, but I never said those things back to him. Not like that.”
With her upper lip curled, she shakes her head, refusing to hear me. “Kind of ironic how he called you this weekend to say your label was reconsidering. Is that why you’re so desperate for me to move in with you? So your fans will see us together more often?”
I stare at her, knowing whatever I say will sound like a lie after what she just heard. Instead I try to draw her into my arms. “You have to trust me, baby. It’s all a bunch of crap.”
Her lips quiver. “Then why can’t you tell me that you love me?”
My eyes close and I draw in a deep breath. If I don’t tell her now, I’ll lose her. So why can’t I form the words that I already feel in my fucking heart?
Because love is bullshit, I hear my father saying. It’s something women think they need to hear to be happy. It only ruins lives.
Evelyn fights against my hold and breaks free, starting for the door. All at once she stops, hesitating. I hold my breath, waiting for her to tell me she’s changed her mind and she loves me too much to walk out. Her head turns slowly, revealing a face wet with fresh tears and big beautiful eyes burning with hatred.
“I knew you’d break my heart.”
The words are like a million razor blades slicing my chest at once. I promised I wouldn’t hurt her.
I don’t know what possesses me to simply let her walk out without even fucking trying to stop her. Maybe deep down I knew this moment was inevitable and maybe a part of me knows it’s useless to think someone as pure as Evelyn would want to be with someone like me.
I’m damaged goods, probably destined to repeat my father’s fucked-up life.
The sound of the back door slamming shut has the effect of a shotgun aimed at my chest. It’s over.
Chapter 24
CHARLIE
Voices in another room bring me around.
Evelyn.
I stretch my arm across the mattress in search of her, knocking the empty bottle of Jack to the floor. Fuck! It wasn’t just a nightmare. Evelyn really left me and I drank through the misery all day long until I blacked out.
“Baby brother?” Katie’s voice calls. “You awake?”
My eyes flip open, burning against the flood of daylight. I groan with searing pain ripping through my skull and hold my arm across my face.
I feel a warm hand on my forehead. “At least you’re alive,” my sister says with a tisk of her tongue. “Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been? Lo showed up at my house, said he’s been looking all over for you since last night. Said you wouldn't answer your phone. I made him come here with me because I was terrified I’d find you with an empty bottle of pills after everything they’re saying about you!”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say in a cracked voice, opening one eye to glare into her disappointed scowl.
Her hands set on her non-existent hips. “Oh no you don’t, mister! I warned you not to go hurting that girl and I’m no dummy—you drank yourself silly because you know you damn well you fucked up! Why are you laying here feeling sorry for yourself instead of out there trying to help Evelyn deal with this shit? She’s new to the fame thing! Poor girl’s probably sick with half the things they said! Don’t even get me started on that ridiculous conversation they’re playing of you and Lo!”
No shit. The high pitch of her agitated voice beats against my aching skull like nails on a chalkboard. Why can’t she just leave me alone to stew in my own misery? “Jesus,” I say with a groan, rolling away from her. “You’re destroying my head.”
“Listen, we need to talk,” Lorenzo says, suddenly inside the bedroom. “I’ve already called your lawyer about that bogus recording. She’s dealing with it. But we have another problem that can’t wait. Since you wouldn’t answer your phone, that PI you hired to find Danny called me, said he has information you need to hear A-SAP. He wants you to meet him today. Said he’s going to be at his office until you show. Must be something big the way he sounded like there was a fire up his ass.”
“You think he found Danny?” Katie asks in a higher voice.
My guts churn with her excitement.
Christ. Just grow a pair and tell her, Danny says. Fuck the old man. He never did anything good for you when he was alive anyhow.
“Mind your own fucking business,” I snap back at him.
“Excuse me for giving a shit about your friend!” Katie snarls behind me. “I’m starting to understand why Evelyn isn’t here. You’re acting like a major dickwad! What’s going on with you, Charlie? You better start answering some questions before I go looking for her myself!”
“You’re right!” I say, popping upright. “She left because I fucked up! Are you happy now, Kate?”
She flinches with my outburst, tears filling her eyes. “No, I’m most definitely not.” Arms, crossed, she spins around to leave the room, almost knocking Lorenzo down. I jump with the sound of the garage door slamming behind her. Seems I’ve achieved expert level in making women angry.
“Get dressed,” Lorenzo says, shaking his head. “You’re going back with me.”
* * *
On the agonizingly brutal ride back to the city I try to sleep, but guilt for making Katie cry and driving Evelyn away creates a tight ban across my chest. And then there’s this big thing the investigator knows about Danny that makes me want to push Lorenzo out of the way and slam on the gas pedal so we aren’t stuck waiting behind bottleneck traffic.
About the time we pull up to the curb outside of Harry’s office in Chinatown, I’m crippled with regret for not chasing after Evelyn. The two hours she spent riding by herself was too much time to think I didn’t care enough to stop her. Maybe if I hadn’t given up so easily, I could’ve found a way to convince her to stay.
“Yo, we goin’ in or what?” Lorenzo asks, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel.
I glance up at the brightly painted building surrounded by banners with Chinese symbols. What if this big breakthrough on Danny’s case is exactly what I’ve been fearing ever since I hired him for show? What if Harry managed to unearth the ugly secrets I’ve tried to keep buried?
“I better go in alone,” I tell him.
Lorenzo nods like he was expecting it. “Sure thing. I’ll be out here when you’re ready.” He reaches out for my shoulder and squeezes. “Listen. He’s going to give you good news about Danny. I can feel it. Go up there and get it over with. Then I’ll help you figure out a way to get Evelyn back.”
Three flights of stairs up the small apartment Harry rents as an office and the sickly-sweet smell of rotting produce doesn’t get any better as I push open the etched glass door. The gray-haired lady behind the receptionist’s desk spreads her lips in what looks like more of a grimace than a smile. Every time I’ve come here she’s reminded me of my grandma Walker in her outdated style and ill-fitting dentures.
“Go on in, Mr. Walker. He’s been waiting for you.”
The second I open the door to Harry’s office, he shoots up from behind his cluttered desk, towering over me. The old guy’s cool as shit and never
afraid to say what’s on his mind. The former police chief from San Diego moved to New York on a whim, piercing his ear and deciding he’s done taking orders from The Man. I’ve seen him charm waitresses as well as his surly receptionist and can’t help but admire his smooth style despite being seventy-something with hair as white as cotton.
“Charlie! What the hell happened? Where’ve you been? You look like shit, boy!”
I shake my head. “Long story.”
“I heard some of it play out on TV.” He sits on the edge of the desk, arms crossed and lips bending with a scowl. “Why do you think I’ve stayed single all these years?”
“Lay it on me, Harry,” I say, massaging my neck. “What’d you find on Danny?”
The deep wrinkles around his eyes tighten. “Son, you’re going to want to take a seat for this. You won’t like what I have to say.”
Heat pricks the back of my neck. Doesn’t sound good, brother, Danny says.
Too anxious to sit, I shake my head. “Just tell me.”
“I didn’t see it coming until this recent hubbub came out about your personal life.” Reaching behind him, Harry snags a stack of papers off his desk. He removes an 8x10 photograph from the top and hands it to me. “I’ve been following Gwen Porter.”
A full-on-rage strikes me with the mention of her name. In the picture she’s sitting in a sedan outside of a church, phone pressed to her ear as she watches the building. Then the familiarity of the church clicks into place. Everything around me turns red. My eyes dart up to meet Harry’s.
“Why the fuck is she standing outside of Evelyn’s place?”
Harry’s hazel eyes sharpen with a plea to stay calm. “After I saw Madison Johnson on the celebrity news channel, blabbering on about some sexcapade you had with her and another woman, I decided to dig into her history to try to figure out what she’s about. She has an older sister who was college roommates with Miss Porter. I remembered the article she wrote that put you in a bad light, so I did a little digging on her too. Turns out this wasn’t the first time she was involved with someone from Thrashtag.”
He hands me another picture and my gut hardens. In a somewhat grainy shot taken in what looks like a dance club in the city, Gwen’s long legs are wrapped around Danny’s waist. His tongue’s down her throat, hands up her short skirt. The longer I stare at the picture, it erases any doubt that I’m looking at my brother with the older reporter who has it out for me.
“She was sleeping on and off with your brother for over a year before he disappeared,” Harry reports. “Seems like it was a regular booty call whenever he wasn’t on the road. I paid her a visit at her office, tried to get her to answer a few questions about Danny. She was real cagey, ran right outta there like her hair was on fire. I did manage to get some interesting information out of one of her close friends, a woman by the name of Christine Horovitz.”
When Harry hands me another picture, the dull pang in my skull becomes sharp. It’s the brunette I invited to my house with Madison.
“I’m guessing you recognize her. Didn’t take much to break her down. She said it was Gwen’s idea to set you up, make it look like you slept with those two women after Madison slipped you a roofie. She told me Gwen knew where you lived because she’d been there with your brother.”
My fingers dig into the photograph, leaving deep dents.
“Any guesses when Christine last saw Gwen with your brother?”
Running a hand over my short hair, I shake my head, waiting for the room to swallow me whole. My head’s so messed up it’s like I’m looking down on everything from above.
“You think she had something to do with Danny’s disappearance?” I choke out.
“Don’t know that for sure, but I’d be willing to bet on it. Gonna need more time to look into it, see if she has a solid alibi.”
Alibi. He thinks she killed Danny.
Feeling ready to puke my guts out, I point back at the pictures. “None of this explains why she was sitting outside the church where Evelyn lives.”
Harry leans back, pushing his hands inside his pockets. “She’s been watching your girlfriend’s place the past few days. Couldn’t tell you why, though based on everything I’ve learned, I’d guess she’s up to no good.” He scratches his head and gives the surveillance pictures in my hand a sideways glance. “I checked in with the British roommate, told her to watch out for jealous groupies. There was a big dude there, said he’d keep an eye on them. The Brit rolled her eyes and told me it was okay, that your girlfriend had gone to the Hamptons with you.”
Except that she’s not there anymore. And she hasn’t been for over 24 hours.
I hear Harry shout something after me as I race out the door, but my heart’s hammering, pumping blood through my ears so hard I can’t think straight.
The crazy bitch is going after my girl.
Chapter 25
EVELYN
I’m numb when I report to work, having spent the entire ride back to the city bawling my eyes out, then passing out cold for four hours in my bed. Sharlo wanted to skip her shift at the art gallery to meet me at the apartment, but I insisted that I was fine and needed time alone.
The way Hope looks at me from behind the bar when I walk into Leona’s, I must look every bit as wrecked as I imagine. “Ev! I figured you’d take the night off!” Her wide eyes dart around the bar like she’s expecting paparazzi to storm in after me, then narrow on my face. “You okay?”
Her kindness brings tears to my eyes and I know if I say anything I’ll breakdown, so I merely shake my head and continue walking past her to the back. The minute I set foot in the break room, I’m unexpectedly struck with memories of Charlie and almost collapse.
Every time I picture him standing motionless in the beach house, just watching me leave, I want to scream. He didn’t even put up a fight. It only confirmed my biggest fear—that he never loved me. I was simply a ploy to save his flailing career. His agent probably singled me out the night Charlie performed as someone naive enough to go along with their plan. All that talk about wanting to change and spend our lives together was part of the Charlie Walker charm. He was sleeping with other women while pretending I was the only one he wanted to be with. Just wait until social media hears how I got played.
“I’m such a fucking idiot!” I toss my phone across the room as a giant sob rips through my chest.
“Whoa!” a deep voice behind me yells. “What’s going on in here?”
Spinning around with my hand over my mouth, I discover Nolan standing in the doorway looking sharp as always in a suit coat. I let his arms enclose around me, keeping me upright as my heart breaks all over again. Damn it all to hell, his rigid muscles remind me way too much of Charlie. The thought that I'll never be in his arms again almost hurts more than the tight pain spreading across my chest.
Letting myself fall in love so hard and fast for someone like Charlie was destined for failure. I remember as a little girl listening to my mom tell me fairytales about princesses falling in love and living happily ever after. She never once prepared me for how it would feel to discover Prince Charming was screwing Sleeping Beauty and Pocahontas on the side. I should’ve known better from the start considering none of the princes were covered in tattoos and liked to box in their spare time.
Nolan’s chest heaves against mine. “You okay?”
A drawn-out moment passes before I’m coherent. Embarrassed that I fell apart in front of my boss, I bury my face in his shirt. I can’t help but notice he smells amazing, although nothing like my Charlie. Shit. I’m going to have to come up with a more suitable nickname for him, like lying bastard or douche-canoe.
Hands press to the sides of my head, drawing it back. Nolan’s dark brown eyes study me with open kindness. “Anything you want to talk about?” Then a sudden storm passes through his gaze and he scrunches his nose. “Does this have something to do with that prick Walker? Did he hurt you?”
In this moment I’d give anything to release h
im on Charlie, to find out if this jujutsu business he practices is serious enough to kick the lying trollop’s boxing ass. “Love is stupid,” I answer with an unattractive snort. “You’re doing it right by staying single.”
A small smile forms on his lips. “I’m not single by choice. Love doesn’t suck if you find the right person who wants to be with you.” His fingers wipe at my tears, brushing over my cheeks the way Charlie’s always do. “People like Walker are incapable of caring about anyone other than themselves.”
Although I bristle with his words, remembering how Charlie told me about his self-absorbed dad, Nolan’s familiar touch stirs something unsettling. I reach both hands around his neck, dragging him down until his face is at my level. Our mouths meet for a slow, tentative kiss. He tastes like peppermint and his lips are velvety soft. Nolan stops, his dark eyes scanning my face like I'm an open book. But I don’t want to question it. I just want to feel something again. I want to fill the gaping hole Charlie Walker placed in my chest.
My hand shoots out to slam the door shut before taking Nolan's mouth again, determined to replace every last memory I have of kissing Charlie. With a swipe of my tongue, Nolan’s lips part and the kiss catapults to another level. His hands are in my hair as he devours me with his eager tongue, embracing me with his unique taste and smell. I fist a handful of his hair and suck on his tongue, scraping my teeth over it before giving it back. He kisses better than a fucking rockstar, I tell myself.
But I’m wrong. Lying to myself isn’t going to help anything. I still want Charlie.
With a shake of my head, I push Nolan away. I was willing to do whatever it took to erase Charlie from my life. Doing it with my boss would’ve been a colossal mistake.
“Shit,” I say as my cheeks burn blazing hot. Running my hands through my hair, I start shuffling away from him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have—"