“Michael, I’ve got to ask you something, and I don’t know what you’re going to think,” Kate said, putting down her cup and leaning forward over her elbows.
Michael nodded and scooped up another mouthful of pancakes. “I’m listening.”
Kate traced a finger along the handle of the small jug that held the maple syrup. “Are you writing about me?”
Michael’s chewing slowed down and he swallowed with effort before putting down his knife and fork. He looked up to meet Kate’s eyes and saw that she was looking at the jug. He reached over and gently took her hand, watching as she met his gaze with some trepidation.
“What makes you ask that?”
“Alistair.” She gave him a steady look. “He was talking about your story and then let slip something about feeling like he knew me already.”
Michael nodded slowly.
“So it’s true then?” Kate said after a brief silence.
“In part,” Michael admitted, “although I wish you hadn’t found out like this.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, and looked at Kate with concern.
“Michael,” Kate began in a gentle voice, “I’m not mad. I’m just …” She broke off and stared around the diner before looking back at him. “I don’t really know what I feel right now. I haven’t been in this kind of situation before.”
That got Michael’s attention. He moved his plate to the side and reached over to enfold Kate’s hand in both of his. “What sort of situation do you think this is?” His mouth was going dry. Of all the reactions he thought he might get when Kate eventually found out about the book, he never dreamed she would be this uncomfortable.
Kate squirmed under the intensity of Michael’s gaze. “Michael, I don’t talk myself up, and for the most part, I like to think that I make my way through life pretty much invisible.”
“Kate, you’ve never been invisible to me—” Michael began, but Kate opened her mouth to speak again and he stopped.
“I don’t know what it is exactly that you’re working on, but if it’s as good as Alistair thinks it is then I’m really pleased for you, truly. But I’m just thinking that maybe you could’ve said something to me before now.” Kate’s gaze dropped back to the tabletop as she considered her own words, and then looked back up at him with an apologetic shrug.
“I …” Michael began and then stopped, clearing his throat before continuing. “I’m sorry, I …” He grimaced. “God, this is awkward.”
“You think?” Kate offered a wry grin.
“I don’t quite know how to explain myself,” Michael said, rubbing his thumb over Kate’s hand, although he wasn’t sure who the gesture was meant to reassure. “As a writer, I’m used to writing from life, so everything around me becomes inspiration, that is …” he paused, “… when I’m able to write, in any case.”
“I can understand that,” Kate replied.
“I’m not sure you do. Before I met you, I hadn’t written anything for months,” Michael went on slowly, his forehead creasing as he thought before speaking; he wanted no room for any misinterpretation. “And then you somehow triggered the words inside me, I don’t know how—I don’t know if I even want to know—but when you appeared in my life all of a sudden, it was easy.” He began speaking faster now, words bubbling at the back of his throat.
“You’re saying I did that?” Kate gazed at him in disbelief.
“I’d like to think so,” Michael replied with feeling. “So when you say you feel invisible, to me nothing could be further from the truth.”
Kate’s face warmed under the spotlight of his gaze as the pair of them sat silent.
“Do you want to read it?” Michael said suddenly. “If you want to, it’s yours.”
“You know,” Kate said at last, “I don’t think I do.” Now it was Michael’s turn to be surprised. “It’s not that I’m worried; I’ve got nothing to hide,” she went on. “But I don’t think I’m ready to read it yet.”
“If you’re sure,” Michael said, cautious now.
“Maybe later, just not right now is all,” she said in a gentle voice.
“And you’re really okay?” Michael lifted her wrist to his lips to brush a kiss over it.
“I think so,” she conceded, “but it was a bit of a shock this morning.”
“I’ll bet,” Michael agreed. “Which reminds me that Alistair and I are going to have to have a conversation about that.”
“Is he in trouble?” A smile tugged at Kate’s lips, a real one this time.
“Just a bit,” Michael said in a soft growl, nibbling at Kate’s wrist, making her jump.
“I’m sure it was an honest mistake. He sounded very sorry.”
“Oh, I’ll make him sorry,” Michael replied, angling his hand so that he could kiss the soft pad of her thumb. “He upset my girl.”
“Hmm, well, don’t be too hard on him; it was going to come out sooner or later,” Kate remonstrated. “And let’s not forget your part in all this.”
“True.” Michael broke away from kissing her hand to consider this. “Kate, would it help if I said I was sorry?”
“Are you?” Kate raised an eyebrow.
“Of course,” he said, stung by her doubt. He met her gaze, measure for measure, and sighed. “Well, maybe in part. How does that make me sound?”
“It depends on how you back it up,” Kate replied, nodding for him to keep talking.
“Am I sorry that I’m writing about you? No, I’m not. You gave me words again, and for that, I’m grateful. Am I sorry I didn’t tell you about more about my work? Yes.” He dipped his head, looking up at her through his lashes in contrition. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You know,” Kate said slowly, “sometimes that can hurt most of all.”
“What can?” Michael was confused now, thinking he may have done far more damage than he’d been led to believe.
“Hurting someone by omission can be just as bad,” Kate replied, her eyes distant.
Michael’s chest felt hollow with anxiety. “Kate, you know I never consciously set out to hurt you.”
“I know.” Kate shook their joined hands for emphasis. “It’s okay, Michael. The look on your face when I raised the subject was enough to tell me that.” Kate rolled her shoulders, trying to shake off the mood. “I guess some of this conversation has reminded me of something else.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not here,” Kate replied, pulling a face. “Maybe later, but I’m going to need some fresh air after this.”
“Sounds good,” Michael said, signaling for the check. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“A little bit fragile maybe,” Kate answered. “But I’ll be okay.”
They settled the check and stepped outside into the sunlight, Michael keeping Kate close to his side as they walked along the pavement. Kate tilted her face toward the sun, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath, hoping Michael wouldn’t let her stumble.
~~~
Paul cursed as he tripped over the piping that was stacked in his hallway, and limped a couple of paces before shaking his head and searching for his cell phone. Flipping it open, he scrolled through his stored numbers and dialed.
“Babycake,” he said by way of greeting, grinning as he heard the delight in his sister’s voice that was almost enough to make him forget the pain in his big toe. “Listen, I’ve still got that copper piping here. Is today a good day for me to install those magazine racks we talked about?” He paused, waiting for Kate to consider the spontaneous offer. “Cool. I’ve still got keys to the store, so I’ll go in this afternoon and get it done. If I need any help, I’ll give Tom a call.”
They spoke a little longer before Paul got off the phone and limped into his bedroom to sit down on the bed and examine his foot. His toe still hurt, but it didn’t look serious. If nothing else, the injury had given him the motivation to get the job finished. He yawned and stretched, feeling the tendons in
his shoulders stretch and pop, then fell back onto the mattress as he took a moment to relax before galvanizing into action.
Still lying on his back, he lifted his leg and pulled his foot toward his chest to inspect his toe again. Thinking about the pipes in the corridor, he wondered how he was going to get them to the store without too much fuss. He considered his options, and then reached for his phone again, hoping he had enough charm for a Sunday morning favor. If all else failed, he was sure he could negotiate payment by way of man’s international beer economy.
~~~
“Paul,” Kate explained with a smile as she snapped her phone shut and slipped it back into her bag.
“What’s he doing?” Michael said, happy for whatever reason had put a smile on her face.
Kate put her arm through his again once her phone was safely stowed and kept walking. “He got some old copper piping off a retired plumber, and he’s going to use them to make some magazine racks on the wall in the shop. The bookcase we’ve got in there is filled to capacity, so Paul came up with the idea of the racks,” Kate explained and she stopped as she inspected some shoes in a window display before walking on.
“Does he need help?” Michael asked before he could think about what he was saying.
“You know how to do that stuff?” Kate said, looking at him in surprise.
“Some,” Michael said. “I don’t think I’d be at Paul’s standard, but I could help with the heavy lifting. Is he going to be doing it by himself?”
“He said if he needed a hand he’d give Tom a call,” Kate said carelessly.
“There’s that name again,” Michael pounced, his curiosity growing now.
“Huh?” Kate was distracted from the shop windows. “What name?”
“Tom, you know, Boob Guy,” Michael explained, cupping a hand toward his chest for emphasis, which made her laugh. “Where does he fit in?”
Kate gave him a sidelong look and saw nothing but open curiosity on his face. She should have known that sooner or later it would come to this. It seemed to be a morning for confrontations and revelations, and to think that she had been so excited when Paul suggested she start giving herself weekends off work.
“Tom’s …” She waved a hand in a vague motion. “He’s complicated,” she sighed.
“You said that,” Michael prompted. “Have you two got a lot of history?”
“I guess you could call it that,” Kate conceded, thinking that the word “baggage” would fit just as well. She gave him an uncertain look. “How much do you want to know?”
“Whatever you want to tell me,” Michael said. “Does it impact on us?”
Kate thought about this for a few more paces before shaking her head. “I don’t think so. That is, I mean … I guess I don’t think it will.” She stumbled over her words, shaking her head in frustration as she searched for the right thing to say.
Michael gave her a soft smile. “Is that a definitely maybe?”
“That’s a good way of putting it,” she agreed.
Michael mulled over her explanation, wondering what kind of history could be a possible hindrance between himself and Kate. He arranged his expression into one of calm curiosity, hoping it would encourage her to keep talking. His ability to be a quiet listener had worked well for him in the past, and he hoped it wouldn’t let him down now. Kate sighed and pushed her hair away from her face, a gesture he noticed she did when she was thinking about something difficult. He uncoupled his arm from Kate’s and slid it around her waist, pulling her warm against his side, providing as much silent encouragement as he could.
“Tom is from my hometown,” Kate began, keeping her gaze on the pavement ahead of them. “We went to different schools, but Jack and I were like extended family to his.” Kate gave him a wry grin. “So I guess that’s where the history started. Tom and I met on the playground, and we grew up together. He dated, I dated, and then we ended up together after graduation.”
“Childhood sweethearts, huh?” Michael commented.
“Kind of,” Kate nodded. “We both ended up at the same college and we hooked up,” Kate said. “I don’t know if it was two homesick and lonely hearts finding each other, or if we were just acting on something that had always been there. Being with Tom was just—” she waved her hand as she searched for the right word, “—easy, I guess.”
“And perhaps convenient?” Michael suggested with caution.
Kate shot him a measured look. “That too,” she allowed. “But there was a lot of feeling there.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Michael said. “You’re not someone a guy takes for granted.”
Kate wrinkled her nose at him in amusement. “You’d be surprised.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Michael argued. “So go on. What happened with you two?”
“Well, here’s the thing,” Kate said, and she was silent for a few more paces while she gathered her thoughts. She pushed her hair off her face and puffed out a sigh before continuing. “Tom and I were pretty serious for those couple of years in college, and then …” She pushed at her hair again before giving a nervous laugh. “This is ridiculous. I don’t know why I’m nervous about this.”
“Don’t be,” Michael urged in a gentle voice. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“It’s okay.” Kate ran her fingers through her hair and then grimaced when she realized she was giving into a nervous habit and stuffed her hand into her pocket. “So Tom and I were together, and then one day he told me that we, uh, weren’t compatible anymore.”
“That sounds pretty harsh,” Michael commented.
“Oh, it gets better,” Kate agreed. “It turns out we were incompatible because I wasn’t a gay man.”
“You weren’t—” Michael began and stopped as he processed what she had said. “Oh.”
“Exactly,” Kate sighed. They reached an intersection and stopped at the curb, waiting for the light to change. “So there you have it: the history of Tom and Kate.”
“Hang on, back up a minute,” Michael said. “Had Tom always known he was gay?”
“He says with the benefit of hindsight that he had his suspicions. Getting away from home gave him an opportunity to reinvent himself, but being with me for the first couple of years was like a security blanket,” Kate replied. The light changed, and they crossed the street. There was a cool breeze blowing into their faces, and Kate closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, consciously releasing the tension in her shoulders. She could feel the comforting weight of Michael’s arm around her waist and their denim-clad thighs rubbing against each other as they walked.
“Right.” Michael considered this. “And how were things once he came out?”
“Well, I guess I was in shock at first. It was about a year after Jack …” She checked herself and then continued, “after the accident. When I finally told Paul, he wanted to find Tom and beat six types of shit out of him.”
“Paul was …” Michael raised an eyebrow.
“Protective of me, not homophobic,” Kate confirmed as Michael nodded. “He didn’t like seeing me hurt, but once things calmed down we were okay. I got through college and Paul and the three of us ended up in New York.”
“Who came here first?”
“Paul did. He finished college two years before me. So by the time I got to town, I had somewhere to stay for a year before I found my feet, and things went from there. About two years after I got here, Tom hit town and he’s been in my life ever since.”
“It must have been hard, going it alone like that,” Michael mused, and was surprised when Kate gave him a surprised look.
“It never occurred to me,” Kate commented. “I guess I was so used to being in a small family in a small town, and doing things for myself, that it just felt like I was doing the same thing, just with a few more people around me.” She squinted down the street. “Not to change the subject, but where are we going?”
“The park,” Michael said simply.
“After that conversation, I think you need some unconditional love from the dogs, as well as me.”
Kate looked up at Michael. “Thank you.”
“You’re worth it,” Michael said in reply, pulling her close to kiss her forehead.
Chapter 17
The Evil Twin and the Angry Jogger
By the time they left the park an hour later, Kate’s eyes were peaceful. Michael had watched the way her face had lit up as various dogs had bounded over to investigate them where they stood by the fence at the dog run and the way she had laughed at the smaller dogs whose enthusiastic tail wagging threatened to knock their little bodies off balance.
“I didn’t realize how much I needed that until we got there,” Kate commented, snuggling into Michael’s chest as they stood at the light.
“I remembered you saying that you went there when you wanted to feel better,” Michael explained, rubbing his hand over her lower back. “Is there anything else you feel like doing today?”
“Why do I feel like I’m getting spoiled?” Kate said, smiling up at him as they crossed the street.
“You’re the one with the harder work schedule; I’m just trying to make your free time really count,” Michael said.
“Would you mind awfully if we call in at the store? I’d really like to see what sort of progress Paul’s making in there.”
“You’re the boss,” Michael replied as they set off toward the village.
“That’s what people keep telling me,” Kate said, and then in response to Michael’s look added, “Private joke. I’ll explain later.”
As they neared the store, they could hear the steady thumping of rhythmic base through cheap speakers that were clearly being pushed beyond their limits.
“That has to be Paul. He likes his music loud,” Kate explained with a grin. She hadn’t seen Paul for three weeks now and was looking forward to catching up.
She opened the door and stopped in surprise. Paul was there, with Thomas in tow, and they were in the midst of lifting a row of piping up to the wall, singing along to Paul’s Rolling Stones CD with lusty voices. Both men were shirtless and made for an impressive display of muscle in motion. Paul looked over Thomas’s shoulder and gave a loud whoop when he saw his sister standing in the doorway. He dropped the pipe and headed toward her, ignoring Thomas’s shout of protest as he tried to stop the copper length from hitting the floor.
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