Adam could have died that day, and she still didn’t have the courage to tell him she loved him. She loved him!
She was a fool.
Tabby folded her arms on her knees, laid her forehead on her arms and sobbed.
Chapter 21
Adam knelt among the shattered dishes and chocolate and pulled Tabby’s hands from her face. “Darling, are you hurt?”
“No.” She sniffed and looked up. “But you are.” She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at his lip. “I thought those men were going to kill you.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are they gone?”
“Carted off by the sheriff.” Adam sat back. “You sure were something to see, standing up to those ruffians. I’m not sure you needed me.”
“My legs are trembling so bad, I don’t think I can stand.”
He chuckled. “Then don’t. Sit here with me and relax a moment.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You look amused again. What was so funny when I fired the gun?”
“The look on the men’s faces. For them to be stood up to by a little bit of a woman most likely damaged their egos beyond repair.” And almost gave Adam a heart attack in the process. When he’d seen Tabby being manhandled, then standing up to the men, he thought he’d die.
Despite his worry, he wanted to ask whether she’d read the note inside the box where he expressed his undying love and asked her to be his wife. As skittish as she was about the subject, and after the way she skirted around the issue every time he hinted at marriage, he thought maybe a note would allow her time to think about what she wanted before she answered. He doubted either one of them could find the note in the wreckage from her misplaced shot.
Maybe he should ask her, anyway. Spill his guts and profess his love. Yet something held him back. A voice told him to wait.
Tears still streamed down Tabby’s face. Adam cupped her face and thumbed away the tears. “What’s wrong? The danger is over. I’m here, safe and sound.”
“I feel as if my dreams are as shattered as the dishes around me, as crushed as the candy I’m sitting in, and there’s no one I can discuss them with.”
“Me.” A fist gripped his heart. “Why can’t you talk to me?”
She shook her head. “You’re the cause, Adam, don’t you understand?” She pulled free and pushed to her feet. “You’re at the root of all the emotions coursing through me.”
He tugged her back to her knees. “Please.” He pulled her close, claiming her lips, taking what he feared he’d never get again: a moment of love, of sweetness, of passion. “Come with me to California. Marry me. I leave in the morning.”
“I can’t.” She sobbed. “I’m sorry.” With one last tear-filled gaze, she straightened and dashed for the door.
Adam’s heart lay in as many pieces as the crockery. What held her back? Surely she saw him as an honorable man by now. She certainly knew he loved her, didn’t she? He slid against the wall, his legs splayed in front of him.
There’d been no heartache or heavy pursuing with Marilyn. Growing up together, they knew for years they would wed. After her death, Adam didn’t think another woman could claim his heart. Now, he’d lost his heart to a woman who didn’t want his love. He wanted to sob as hard as Tabby had.
Instead, he got to his feet with the speed of a tortoise. He had packing to do, and his family would arrive in the morning to travel with him. How disappointed Ma would be when a future bride didn’t grace his arm when he greeted them.
He needed to let Tabby go.
* * *
Tabby patted some color into her cheeks and frowned at the dark circles under her eyes. Lack of sleep the night before had left her cranky and dry-eyed. Knowing Adam was on his way out of Topeka, out of her life, left her feeling as if life had no meaning. She could very well be the loneliest woman on the planet. She shrugged at her dramatics and grabbed her reticule.
After the fiasco in the restaurant the day before, Miss O’Connor gave Tabby the day off to recover, and she planned to go shopping. One of the girls told her the mercantile got in a new shipment of women’s apparel, and Tabby hoped shopping for a new pair of boots and a ready-made dress would bolster her spirits. She’d made her choice to give up Adam; now she had to live with the decision despite the pain.
She ran her fingers over her lips, feeling his kiss. What would happen if she ran after him? Threw away everything she’d worked for and planned? Would that really be so awful? Did Adam really want a woman such as her by his side while he opened his own restaurant?
Absolutely not. He had no idea what he asked of her. She stilled. He’d asked her to marry him. She’d assumed it before from his kiss. She’d told him no and run like a frightened rabbit. The final look he’d cast on her left her heart bleeding and broken. His love had shown through and pierced her.
But Adam had a family, loving parents. He’d see through her insecurities living and working side by side and wish he’d never wed her. He spoke of his first wife with pride. Tabby didn’t know how to be a wife, a sister, a daughter-in-law.
She fell back onto the bed. All she knew how to be was a lonely child. Fresh tears welled. She thought she’d cried them all out the night before as she lay staring into the darkness of her room.
Approaching footsteps caused her to wipe her eyes and bolt from the bed. She marched from the room, down the stairs and into sunshine that belied the shadow in her heart.
Her boot heels pounded the sidewalk as she hurried toward the mercantile. A box of chocolates, with a blue ribbon, might improve her mood. She’d gaze upon it and remember the moment Adam put one like it in her hands, and she’d dream of telling him yes instead of no.
What flavor of creams had he chosen? She wouldn’t be able to duplicate it exactly without knowing. Had he purchased chocolates and vanilla or an assortment? She sagged against a wrought iron bench. A new box wouldn’t be the same no matter how hard she tried to make it look identical.
Plastering a smile on her face, she shook off her melancholy mood and pushed through the mercantile doors. A young lady with light-colored hair and an older woman who looked every bit like the girl’s mother glanced over their shoulders and smiled a greeting. The two waited while the shopkeeper wrapped their packages in brown paper.
Tabby nodded and headed for the shoes. She’d purchase some sort of candy when the counter cleared. Maybe a peppermint stick or lemon drop. Those were as far from chocolates as possible.
A pair of white lace-up boots with a one-inch heel screamed her name. She grabbed them to her chest and almost squealed in delight until she recognized their impracticalness. The boots were clearly meant for a bride or a nonworking lady. Something she might never be. She set them back on the shelf and moved to the black pairs.
“Those white ones are beautiful, aren’t they?” Tabby turned to see the woman from the counter standing beside her.
“Yes they are, but not practical for a Harvey Girl.”
“How do you enjoy that profession?” The woman cocked her head to the side as if she were truly interested in Tabby’s answer.
“I enjoy my job very much.” She braced herself for ridicule.
“I’m Mary, dear. What’s your name?”
Something about the woman invited friendship, confidence. So did the welcoming grin of the younger woman. Together, they put Tabby at ease. “I’m Tabitha McClelland.”
Mary’s eyes widened. “Oh. Well, it’s nice to meet you. I can’t help but notice the sad look in your eyes. Is there something I can do to help? We’re leaving soon, but there’s always time to pray.”
“Most likely no one can help me.” Why would a complete stranger want to help her? Why did Tabby find herself answering the personal questions? Maybe that was the draw. She could speak freely to a woman she would never see again.
“I had a choice to make—
between love and a career.” Tabby reached toward the spools of lace and twisted a strand of ivory around her fingers. “I’m not sure I made the right decision. Not that there is anything I could do, anyway. I’m under contract for another month, and my work ethic won’t allow me to quit before then. I’m afraid it’s too late to even contemplate another decision.”
“It’s never too late.” Mary patted her hand. “Do you care for this young man?”
“Very much.”
“What does God tell you? Have you asked His will for your life?”
Tabby froze. “No.”
Not once had she stopped and asked what God wanted her to do. She had needed a job, so she found one. Her life was horrible, so she started a new one. Not once did she stop and ask whether God had sent Adam to her. “I should probably do that right away.”
“Most definitely.” Mary shoved the boots into her hands. “And buy the boots, even if they are white. If a girl’s got extra money, she can’t ever go wrong with a pair of nice boots. And that light blue dress in the window would look absolutely beautiful on you. Life is too short. Treat yourself and enjoy.” She turned to the younger woman. “Come along, Daphne. Your pa is waiting.” Mary and her daughter sailed out the front door.
Daphne? The same Daphne who sent Adam a telegram saying his mother was ill? It couldn’t be. Tabby’s knees weakened. Had she spoken with Adam’s mother just moments before? That meant he was still in town. Her heart leaped.
Dropping the boots, Tabby lifted her skirts and dashed into the street. The women were nowhere to be found. Neither was Adam. Oh, Lord, which way could they have gone? Tears stung her eyes. She’d missed her chance again to tell Adam of her true feelings.
The white steeple of the church rose in the distance. Seek God’s will? She’d do it now. She’d storm heaven’s gate for an answer. Yet somewhere in her heart, she felt she already knew what God would tell her.
The church sanctuary welcomed her with a quiet peace. Tabby made her way to the front row, sat on the polished pew, and then fixed her gaze on the simple wood cross on the wall.
“What would You have me do, God?” She folded her hands in her lap. “I love Adam. I will admit that now, and it may be too late. Am I so broken that I’m unable to accept love from a man?” She uttered the last words with a sob, forcing them through a clogged throat.
The light through the window cast a lilac shadow on the wall by the time Tabby stood. Filled with peace, she knew the path she would take. She blew a kiss at the cross and almost skipped out the door.
It might be a month before she could act on her decision, but if she worked hard, time would fly. And first thing in the morning, she’d head to the mercantile to buy the white boots and blue dress.
Chapter 22
Tabby dragged her suitcase out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk. Jobless again, yet this time her heart leaped in anticipation of what lay down the road. In her hand, she clutched a first-class ticket to San Francisco, California. Harvey contract fulfilled, she was now free to act on what she truly believed to be God’s will for her. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late, and Adam would be overjoyed to see her.
Within minutes, two of the restaurant’s kitchen staff came outside and toted her trunk and bag to the train depot. Miss O’Connor stood at the door and waved a white handkerchief, her eyes red with tears. Tabby returned her wave, pleased that the woman promised she’d find no one of Tabby’s caliber to replace her.
Well, if things didn’t work out in San Francisco, Tabby might very well have to return to Topeka. She carried an unsigned contract in her bag, just in case Adam rejected her and she needed to console herself with work. She prayed not. Every night since her lonely vigil in church she’d shed tears over letting him get away. Only what she perceived as God’s promise kept her going until her contract was up.
Now, the sun warmed her face despite a brisk fall breeze, a blue sky overhead promised a bright future, and the whistle of the arriving train announced a glorious adventure ahead. In Tabby’s bag were the white boots and blue dress, what she hoped would be her wedding clothes.
The train whooshed to a stop, blowing Tabby’s skirts. She’d come full circle. Six months ago, she’d stood on another platform and waited for a train that would lead her to the next chapter of her life. Now, another, better one waited. One where Tabby would embrace love offered and not shove it away in fear.
God had opened her heart, her mind and her future with endless possibilities.
“All aboard!” The conductor cupped his mouth, then held down a hand to assist Tabby in boarding. “Enjoy your trip, ma’am.”
“Thank you.” Sweeping aside her new blue-and-white-striped traveling costume, she made her way to her first-class seat. This time the pleasure of being waited on hand and foot, having a nice bunk to sleep in, none of it would come as a surprise, but rather a blessing from God who looked out for all her needs. Even the ones she herself was unaware of.
The journey into God’s loving arms had been a long, hard one, but she’d made it. She couldn’t wait to tell Adam the news.
The train chugged from the station. Tabby clasped her hands in her lap. Her leg jerked up and down like a butter churn. How would she ever survive the journey? Oh, she wished she could fly.
She stilled. What if Adam rejected her? It’d been over thirty days since he left. She’d wounded him dreadfully. Most likely, he carried that hurt deep inside and would spurn her. She clutched the lace at her throat. She had to at least try.
“Coffee or tea?” The server, wearing a uniform very similar to the ones left hanging in Tabby’s former room, wheeled a silver cart with a teapot and cups.
“Tea, please.” Tabby waited to be served, then turned back to the window. Why must the train move so slowly?
She leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and remembered the first train ride when Adam came to her rescue against another man’s unwelcome advances. He’d pretended to be her husband. How she wished, now, that he were.
At dinner, Tabby picked at her roast chicken and potatoes. Her mind whirled with the thought that Adam might no longer want her. She had no one to blame but herself. Surely, California had a multitude of jobs for a hardworking girl. She sipped her lukewarm coffee. But she no longer wanted a career, unless it was helping Adam in his restaurant.
The train jerked, brakes screeching, and came to a stop. Coffee splashed onto Tabby’s new clean shirtwaist. She grabbed her napkin and dabbed at the stain.
Men ran down the aisle and shouts rang through the open windows at the front of the car. Spilled coffee forgotten, Tabby knelt on the seat and lowered her window to peer out. Men milled around the track. Were they being robbed? She fiddled with the lace at her throat. She’d heard nightmarish tales of train robbers. There’d be little sleep that night.
After what seemed an hour but was more likely thirty minutes with no news, she made her way through the car and to the metal deck outside. A curse reached her ears followed by the whack of an ax. The moon played hide-and-seek, making the commotion at the front of the train impossible to make out.
Having heard no gunshots, she determined it wasn’t a robbery. How she wanted to go see what had happened. Surely, if the train jumped the track she would have felt more than a jerk.
Since there didn’t seem to be any immediate danger, she headed down the stairs, thankful she’d dawdled over dinner instead of heading to her cabin. The long train ride didn’t provide a lot of excitement.
“Please stay back, ma’am.” The conductor tried to usher her back to the train.
“I have a desperate need to stretch my legs.” Tabby craned her neck.
“You may do so in the cars.”
“No, I don’t think so, although I do appreciate your concern.” What was going on in front of the train?
A shrill whis
tle drew the conductor’s attention, and he jogged away.
It wasn’t easy trying to walk with stealth on pebbles, but Tabby hitched her skirts and did her best. She stepped in front of the train and gasped at the sight of an overturned wagon. Her head whipped back and forth. Where were the people?
She grabbed the arm of a man in striped coveralls. “Where is the wagon’s driver? The horse?”
“We’ve cut the horse free, ma’am, and dragged him to the bushes. There was no driver.”
“Praise God.” Oh, the poor horse, apparently so frightened he’d bolted onto the tracks and in front of the train. At least no one else was injured or worse. “How long until we are on our way?”
“Not for several hours. You’d best head back to the train. We’ll do our best to get moving, but there are steps to take. The wagon is in pieces for one thing. Might take a while to clear the pieces away.”
Tabby’s shoulders slumped. At this rate, it would take forever to reach San Francisco. Adam would definitely have forgotten about her.
* * *
Adam put the last coat of varnish on the restaurant’s sign and stepped back to admire his handiwork. Foster’s Eatery. Sure had a nice ring to it, in his opinion. They ought to be ready to open in a week. He sighed and set the stained rag next to its pail.
Maybe a day spent at the beach would lift his morale, clear his thoughts. Anything to get Tabby out of his head. Over a month, and she still occupied most of his thoughts. When would his love for her fade, the ache in his heart lessen?
“Stop being so melancholy,” Ma told him. She dried her weathered hands on a faded apron. “I told you she would come, and we have too much work to do for you to stare off into the wild blue yonder.”
He sighed. “It’s been over a month. Her contract expired a week ago.” Using a hammer, he pounded the lid onto the metal can of varnish. “She chose her job over me.”
Ma reached up and smacked the back of his head. “Are you calling me a liar? I said she would come, and she will. I told you what she said in the mercantile. That woman is as smitten as you are, although I’m thinking she might be a bit smarter.”
Cooking Up Love Page 14