by Helen Harper
When I’d satisfied myself that there was nothing to be seen on this floor, I loped up the next flight of stairs. Again, there was only one room that appeared to be occupied. There was a vast four-poster bed with elaborately carved posts, unmade sheets and very little else. No wonder Charley wasn’t bothered by the fact that I was poking around – there was nothing to poke around in. There was, however, a laundry basket in one corner that was brimming full with dirty clothes. I darted over.
I drew out the clothes one by one. There was no sign of the work clothes I’d seen Charley in at the police station although I admired the other clothes she had. There were a lot of sparkly, revealing tops and short skirts. I didn’t have to speak to her to know her game; no doubt she wore alluring clothing to put off her fellow gamblers. If they were too focused on peering down her cleavage, they’d be less inclined to pay attention to what she was up to her with her cards. Score one for the blue-haired betting lady. My admiration for her dress sense and strategic skills didn’t help me right now, however. The trouble was, there was nothing else in this room. If she’d left her work clothes at work, this was a completely wasted visit.
My eyes fell on the unmade bed. Hang on a minute. I lifted up the corner of the duvet and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the crumpled tunic and trousers underneath. From the looks of them, Charley had collapsed into bed while fully clothed and wriggled out of them before getting dressed this morning.
I extricated the clothes from the sheets then fumbled in the front pocket of the tunic. My heart sank into the pit of my chest when I realised the sphere definitely wasn’t there though. Gasbudlikins.
Trying to remain calm, I searched around. At least with the lack of furniture, it didn’t take long. I got down on all fours and checked under the bed, then in each of the four corners of the room and underneath the laundry basket. There was no sign of the sphere. I pursed my lips and looked around. Maybe it was in Charley’s bed.
Whipping off the duvet, I checked the sheets. Nada. I was on the verge of giving up hope altogether when I saw the sphere nestled against one of the pillows. It must have rolled there when I took off the duvet.
I sprang towards it and snatched it up. Praise be. Charley had obviously slept with it all night, like in some bizarre princess and the pea situation. Or gambler and the object-to-end-the-world situation anyway. It didn’t matter; I had the arsebadgering thing back in my possession. All I needed now was Liung to come through and the world would be safe. I breathed out. Madrona the Madhatter wins the day. Natch.
I tripped out of Charley’s bedroom and headed downstairs. The closer I got, the louder the bickering became.
‘She might transform again at any point. It’s vital she comes with me and my team so that we can keep her safe.’
‘She’s my housemate. Unless she says that she wants to go with you, she’s staying here where she belongs.’
‘She’ll be safer with us than with you.’
‘Hello? Have you got your head buried under your own ego? Have you seen what’s going on outside? The army has issued a declaration. No one is supposed to leave their homes unless otherwise directed or in an absolute emergency.’
‘You don’t think that transforming into a bunyip is an absolute emergency? What does an emergency constitute in your book then? Is it when you run out of hair dye?’
I paused. The sensible choice would have been to head for the nearest window and jump out of it so I didn’t get involved with these two. Unfortunately, I suspected that we would need Monroe and his werewolves in the hours to come. And I couldn’t just leave Charley alone with her hairy housemate.
I sighed and stuffed the sphere into my bra. It meant I had an unsightly bulge, as if I’d suddenly grown a massive boil on my breast overnight but I knew it was safe there. Only Morgan had access to my breasts, thank you very much.
I walked down the remaining stairs. Monroe and Charley were glaring at each other. ‘Hey!’ I chirped cheerfully. ‘I found the toilet!’
Neither of them looked at me. Well, that wasn’t very nice.
‘I had a lovely long pee,’ I informed them. ‘Now I feel much better. How is Lizzy doing?’
Reluctantly Charley turned away from Monroe towards me. ‘See for yourself,’ she said.
I jumped down the last couple of steps and peered into the room. Where there had been a snarling furry creature, there was now a tall blonde woman hugging her knees and looking distraught. Given the expression on Lizzy’s face, I thought things had been better when she was a bunyip.
‘Are you okay?’ I called. I wasn’t venturing inside until I knew there was no chance she’d transform again and try to munch on me. I would be a particularly tasty morsel.
‘Mmm.’
‘Lizzy,’ Monroe said, ‘why don’t you get some clothes and come with me? I’ll keep you safe.’
‘I hate to put a spanner in the works,’ I murmured, ‘but we do have an apocalypse to avert.’
Charley frowned. ‘So this really is the end of the world? From what I heard it was just local to Manchester.’
‘It’s not the end of the world,’ Monroe snapped.
‘But it could be if we don’t get a move on,’ I told him. ‘Lizzy needs to make a decision. If she’s okay here, I think she should stay here.’
He opened his mouth to speak just as the doorbell rang. We all jumped; Lizzy added a whimper for extra effect and drew further into herself.
With a grim look on her face, Charley marched to the door and flung it open. I was right behind her. I could see Morgan hovering behind a parked car. I gave him a tight smile and a nod so that he knew I had the sphere in my sweaty little palms. He relaxed slightly and beckoned me but I couldn’t leave yet, not now that Manchester’s finest were here too.
DC Jones blinked at me. ‘Well, well, well. Ms Hatter. Trouble just seems to follow you around, doesn’t it?’
‘Actually,’ I told her calmly, ‘I follow trouble, not the other way around. Charley here was in a spot of bother so my friend and I came to help her out. Because you guys were off having a doughnut or whatever.’
Next to her, DI Mulroney rumbled in irritation. ‘What are you doing here?’
I stared at him. ‘I just explained. Weren’t you listening?’
‘Thank you for coming,’ Charley said to the pair of them, ignoring the renewed tension in the air. ‘I think things are under control now.’
I smiled and pointed. ‘See? I did that.’
Monroe appeared behind us. ‘Actually, it was all me.’
Mulroney tsked. ‘I don’t care who brought things under control,’ he said. ‘I just want to know what happened and whether it’s likely to happen again. We’re fighting fires across the city and we came here as a favour to you, Charley. If you don’t need us, there are other places we can be.’
Jones didn’t seem to hear her partner’s words. Her eyes were fixed on Monroe and two high spots of colour were rising in her cheeks.
‘Yeah,’ Charley said, ‘he’s good looking but don’t waste your time. He’s an absolute bastard.’
Monroe’s eyebrows snapped together. ‘After what I just did for you, you should be more grateful.’
‘You mean fall at your feet in worship?’ she enquired.
He shrugged. ‘It’s a start.’
I rolled my eyes and stepped out to join the police. I closed the door behind me but I could still hear Monroe and Charley arguing. ‘Sexual tension,’ I said. ‘They’ll work it out if we give them time. And maybe a matching pair of ball gags.’
Jones looked faintly alarmed but Mulroney appeared interested. Then he seemed to realise that his thoughts were visible on his face and his expression closed off. ‘This area is the next one to be evacuated. The army will be moving residents out within the hour. I suggest you join the evacuation. You seem to be creating more problems. If I see you again, I’ll have to arrest you.’
I folded my arms. ‘I understand that I am indeed an arresting vision but I th
ink that’s taking things a bit far.’
Mulroney rolled his eyes. ‘We don’t have time for this,’ he said under his breath.
I glanced at Jones. She still appeared to be shaking off the vision of Monroe and his dimple. ‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘For going to the bogles’ estate and helping them.’
She shook herself. ‘Bogles?’
Uh-oh. That was the second time I’d mentioned them to her. I really ought to be more careful. ‘The people near Boggart Hole. I’m sure your intervention was well received.’
Mulroney glowered. ‘I thought that was an anonymous tip off. Was that you as well? There was virtually a Mexican standoff in the street.’
‘Are they all okay?’
‘What’s it to you?’
DC Jones interrupted. ‘Everyone’s fine. But,’ she added, with a warning frown, ‘we are now working alongside the army and taking our orders from them. We can’t get involved as easily as we could before.’
She said that as if she thought I was planning to arrange for more life-or-death showdowns. This was becoming irritating. Why wasn’t it easier to save the world? Why did people always have to question what I was doing?
‘Look,’ I said, trying not to sound impatient and failing miserably, ‘I’m on your side here. I’m…’ I broke off as my eye caught something at the end of the street. Gasbudlikins. ‘When did you say the army would be here?’
‘In the next hour. Sooner probably.’ Jones narrowed her gaze. ‘Why?’
I opened the front door again, ignoring both Charley and Monroe who were standing so close together I was surprised they still had room to breathe. ‘There’s an Australian woman in there who really needs your help.’
I grabbed Monroe’s arm and hauled him out then unceremoniously shoved Mulroney and Jones in. ‘It’s been lovely knowing you both!’ I called. ‘Help Charley and Lizzy, and stay inside till the army gets here and all will be fine.’ Before any of them could protest, I slammed the door shut again. If they knew what was good for them, they’d do as I said.
Monroe glared. ‘What are you doing? I was talking to that blue-haired bug of a woman.’ He pushed past me as if to enter again.
‘You idiot werewolf,’ I hissed. ‘Stop thinking with your cock and start paying attention.’
‘I am pay…’ Monroe’s voice trailed off as he caught sight of the masses of faeries gathering at both ends of the street, blocking off our exits. Morgan and the others were already on their feet and heading into the middle of the road. ‘Is this Rubus?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ I answered shortly. I hopped down the pavement and ran to Morgan’s side. ‘How did he find us?’
‘Might have been magic,’ he grimaced. ‘Might have been old-fashioned look-outs. You have the sphere?’
I nodded grimly. ‘I do.’
‘Then you need to get out of here any way you can, Maddy. Keep yourself and that thing safe. We’ll keep Rubus busy.’
I shook my head. ‘I’m not getting out of here any more than you are.’
Charley’s front door opened and Mulroney peered out. ‘What on earth is going on?’
Monroe snarled at him, whiskers and fur springing out all over his face. For what was possibly the first time in his life, Mulroney did the sensible thing and stepped back inside.
‘Stay there!’ I screeched at him. We didn’t need more collateral damage.
I met Monroe’s eyes and he nodded at me, understanding. He was already more wolf than man but he still managed to snap his fingers at several of his werewolves and send them to guard Charley’s door. Then he bounded back over to us. ‘Have you grown a third boob?’ he enquired, gazing at the lump protruding from my chest.
Morgan growled. I grinned. ‘While you were flirting with Charley, I got the sphere,’ I told him. ‘Now all we need to do is to get it – and us – out of here.’
Monroe smiled. ‘Well, it’s fortunate you brought me along to be your faery godmother then. Your wish might just come true.’ He exploded into full wolf form. Suddenly he was a gigantic beast with ice-blue eyes and snow-tipped fur. All around him, the other wolves did the same.
‘If only wishing made it so,’ I muttered.
I leaned up and kissed Morgan on the cheek. Then we all readied ourselves for the onslaught.
Chapter Seventeen
I’ll say this for Rubus: he didn’t hang back and let his henchmen deal with all the trouble. He enjoyed the limelight far too much to let others do the dirty work. I could appreciate that, much as it galled me.
He strode forward from the left, his thumbs hooked into his belt. He had clearly come dressed for action; he was wearing khakis and an army jacket. I doubted anyone would mistake his loose-hipped swagger for that of an uptight soldier’s, however.
‘Hello, brother.’ He grinned as he got close. He blew me a kiss. ‘And Madrona too.’ He swung his gaze round us, including the assembled werewolves. ‘I see you’ve been making new friends. That’s sweet.’
Morgan’s expression remained stoic and calm but I sensed him seething underneath. ‘You keep turning up at the most inopportune moments, Rubus. This isn’t a good time.’
Rubus smirked. ‘Oh, I think it’s the perfect time. It took me a while to work out how Madrona had spirited away my sphere from the police station without Carduus noticing but I worked it out.’ He paused. ‘With a bit of magical intervention.’
My mouth twisted. ‘You said you wouldn’t perform any spells. We told you what would happen if more magic was released.’
He dismissed my complaint with an airy hand. ‘Yes, yes. I know what I said. I thought about it a bit more, though, and decided I didn’t care. This demesne is doomed whatever happens. All that matters is getting us back home before it implodes. I really don’t understand why you’re all so keen to stop that from happening.’ He blinked at us earnestly. ‘Don’t you want us to survive?’
Morgan growled under his breath. ‘This is about everyone’s survival. Not just ours.’
‘The humans have been doomed for generations. If our magic doesn’t kill them, they’ll kill themselves before too long. We’re doing them a favour by not prolonging their misery.’
Monroe snarled, baring his teeth.
Rubus raised an eyebrow. ‘Hello, doggy,’ he cooed. ‘I assume that what you’d like to say – but can’t – is that your kind aren’t human.’ He shrugged. ‘I tell you what. I’ll arrange for your lot to come back with us to Mag Mell. You can’t say fairer than that. You’ll enjoy all the benefits that our demesne has to offer. You won’t have to hide your existence or your true nature any longer.’ He leaned forward slightly. ‘And I bet you’ve noticed just how beneficial the magic in the air has been to you and your kind.’ He tapped his mouth. ‘Let me guess. You’re stronger. You find it easier to shapeshift. You don’t need to wait for that pesky moon to go all furry.’
Around us, the other werewolves began growling and snapping. I could swear that several of them were drooling.
Rubus’s grin grew wider. ‘You are werewolves, right? I’ve not come across you before but you don’t look much like lap dogs to me.’ He glanced at Morgan. ‘Even if that’s what you’re acting like.’
Morgan put his hands in pockets, evincing utter casualness. ‘Insult away,’ he said. ‘We’re leaving and you can’t stop us.’
‘Leave if you want to,’ Rubus returned. His expression hardened. ‘Just give me my sphere first.’
‘We don’t have it.’
‘You always were a terrible liar, brother. Hand over my sphere or suffer the consequences.’
The more times we confronted Rubus, the more it seemed that he spent his time watching bad Hollywood movies so he could learn the lines that the villains uttered. He was like a caricature rather than a really bad guy. That thought would have been comforting if it weren’t for the fact that he was standing in front of us. He never seemed to quit. And I didn’t know how to make him.
‘We don’t have the sphere,’ I said.
Rubus gazed at me fondly. ‘You’re better than Morganus but I’m still a more accomplished liar than you, Maddy. I can see right through you.’
By my side, Morgan gritted his teeth. ‘Don’t call her Maddy.’
Rubus snorted. ‘Because you’ve laid claim to that name? Because you own her and her name? I offered her freedom. You’re just another ball and chain.’
I placed a hand on Morgan’s arm. ‘You never wanted me, Rubus. You just wanted to piss off Morgan.’
Rubus appeared to consider this for a moment. Then he shrugged. ‘Yeah. Too true.’
The longer we debated, the more chance there was that the army would show up and give us the chance to get away unscathed. However, it appeared that Monroe had a different idea. His snow-tipped fur was standing on end and his muscles were bunched up, as if he were getting ready to pounce.
‘Down, boy,’ I said.
I was too late. Either Monroe’s wolf form wasn’t as sentient as he liked to pretend or he didn’t hear me. Either way, he launched himself at Rubus, his large jaws clamping down on his arm.
Monroe’s action gave the other wolves the excuse they needed. Half of them peeled off towards the Fey at one end of the street and half peeled off towards those at the other end. The scene exploded – fur, blood, snarls, calls … and more arsebadgering magic.
Rubus raised his free hand and muttered something under his breath at Monroe. A bolt of green magic flew towards him and smacked him on the muzzle. The werewolf instantly let go. I tried not to feel too satisfied at the blood staining Monroe’s muzzle and the trickle of blood dripping from Rubus’s arm and splattering onto the tarmac below.
The Fey was in more pain than he was letting on. ‘You’ll pay for that,’ he snarled.
From both ends of the street there were howls and screams. It was impossible to tell who was winning, Rubus’s Fey or Monroe’s wolves. There was nothing I could do to help them, not with the sphere stuffed into my bra and everything to play for.