by Sofia Tate
“Of course. Whatever you need. I’ll take care of it,” he reassures me.
“I know you will. I left a message with Christoph, so he knows you’re the one he’ll be meeting with. Just send him a quick e-mail with your details once you know where you’re staying.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered. Just take care of Allegra.”
“That’s the plan. Keep me posted.”
“Will do.”
I put my phone down just as Allegra pokes her head in the door. “Dinner’s ready.”
I nod. “Thanks, baby. Come here.”
I fold her into my arms, burying my nose in her hair, inhaling her coconut shampoo.
“Everything okay, Harvard?” she whispers.
I shut my eyes, holding her tightly. “It is now, Venus. It is now.”
Chapter Fourteen
Allegra
“Mrs. Berkeley? Did you hear what I just said? Are you all right?”
Yes, I heard you, you fucking quack.
Someone presses on my hand. “Allegra? Dr. Mason wants to know if you’re okay.”
Same office, same Ivy degrees, same view of midtown Manhattan. Same doctor, but not delivering the news I wanted to hear.
Davison’s tight grip snaps me back as I attempt to comprehend what I was just told by the good doctor, who clears his throat before he repeats himself.
“As I said, Mrs. Berkeley, I’m not pleased with your latest results, which is why I want to schedule you for surgery as soon as possible so we can proceed with the laser photocoagulation.”
“You may as well be speaking Latin, Doctor,” Davison snaps at him.
Thank you, Harvard. I so needed you to do that.
“It’s the laser surgery that will remove the blood vessel that ruptured causing the hemorrhage. I’ll perform the surgery myself.”
I hesitate before asking because I’m too afraid of the answer. “Will I be able to sing again?”
He does that hand-clasping thing that I’m starting to find really annoying. “There is the chance of complications, as with any surgery, but I’m very optimistic about your chances. Let me just check my schedule and we’ll arrange everything for as soon as we can.”
The doctor starts to rifle through his planner, which is lying on his desk, and I can’t hold myself back any longer.
I take a deep breath to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall down my face as soon as I open my mouth, the words tumbling out of me. “I don’t understand. I’ve done everything you told me to do. I didn’t talk for weeks. You can ask my husband! I did voice therapy. I didn’t smoke or drink alcohol. I rested. So why am I not healed? And what happens if the surgery isn’t successful?”
Dr. Mason stops searching the pages as his eyes fall on me. “Allegra, again, about the surgery not being successful: let’s just cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“Cross that bridge when we come to it”? What kind of shit answer is that? This is my life’s passion we’re talking about!
I open my mouth to give the fucking doctor a piece of my mind, but Davison presses down on my hand even harder, forcing me to look at him. He locks his eyes onto mine, nodding his head so I’ll know that he knows I’m about to lose it, but telling me to keep myself together because this is the man who can heal me physically. For better or worse, my life is in this man’s hands.
I sit back, my shoulders now relaxed, which indicates to the doctor that he can continue.
“I believe you completely, Allegra. I know you did everything that was asked of you. Everyone’s body is different, so it’s always difficult to tell how slowly or quickly a patient will recover from an injury like this. But I can assure you that I will do everything I can to make you better and get you back up on that stage as soon as humanly possible.”
I exhale, taking the doctor’s words into consideration.
Okay. Give him a break. He knows what he’s talking about.
“Thank you, Dr. Mason. I needed to hear that. I apologize. This has just been…”
He shakes his head. “No apologies necessary. I completely understand. My schedule is open the day after tomorrow. Does that work for you?”
I nod as my husband speaks for me again, always there for me. “That’s perfect. Thank you, Doctor.”
“Of course. My nurse will give you all of the forms and presurgery instructions on your way out.”
Davison and I rise to our feet and bid my doctor good-bye. I barely exchange two words with Dr. Mason’s nurse when she hands me the information for my surgery. Then I just start down the hallway to the elevators, my entire body shaking, walking so fast that Davison calls after me to slow down.
I don’t stop until I get to the elevator bank, pounding furiously on the button. Davison finally reaches me and pulls me roughly to him.
“Baby, I know that was hard to hear, but it’s going to be okay.”
I struggle to get out of his hold, but he won’t let go. “How do you know that, Davison?” I hiss back at him. “I did everything I was told to do, and it still wasn’t good enough. What if the surgery doesn’t work? What if I can’t sing for the rest of my life? That’s all I know. That’s all I’ve been trained to do, what I’ve wanted to do my entire life. And now I’m fucked!”
I know the pain in my husband’s eyes, downturned in concern and worry, reflects my own.
Just then, the elevator finally arrives. He takes hold of my shoulders and steps inside with me. Once the doors close, he turns my face to his, his eyes boring into mine.
“Baby, you are not fucked. Yes, this totally sucks, and I’m just as pissed as you are at all this. It’s bullshit, plain and simple. I can barely function knowing you’re going through this. I just want you to remember that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you. You need to yell, bitch, scream, shout… you aim all that crap my way, Venus, because I can take it. If it’s your pain, then it’s my pain too. Got it?”
My mouth starts to tremble. Within seconds, Davison takes me into his arms as I collapse into racking sobs that just keep coming and coming.
“Let go, baby,” he whispers soothingly, brushing his hand over my hair over and over to calm me. “I’m here. Just let go.”
I don’t even notice when the elevator reaches the lobby level. I turn my head into the crook of Davison’s shoulder. “I can’t…”
His warm breath trails across my ear. “Just walk with me, baby. You don’t have to look at anybody.”
I don’t think I’ve been more grateful for my husband than at this exact moment as he leads me to the Maybach waiting outside on the corner and bundles me carefully inside.
* * *
When we walk into our building, I spot Lucy sitting on one of the leather sofas in the marble lobby. She gets to her feet when she sees Davison and me, making her way to us.
Her eyes pop out of their sockets. I can only imagine what I look like right now. “Oh my God, Alli, are you okay?”
I blow my nose again. “I’ll be fine, thanks to my husband.” I glance over at Davison, who leans over to kiss my head. “What’s up?”
“Can we talk?” she asks sheepishly.
“Of course. Let’s go sit by the river. I need some fresh air.”
I wait for Davison to object, but he simply kisses me softly on the lips and says, “I’ll be upstairs.”
I watch him walk away to our private elevator, giving me a huge smile and mouthing, Love you, before the doors close.
“So, what’s going on with you?” Lucy asks. And I fill her in on all of my news as we walk to the Esplanade along the Hudson.
We settle onto a bench with a direct view of the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.
I turn to face my best friend. “Okay, your turn. Talk to me.”
She looks at me straight in the eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
I knew it.
I sigh, placing my hand on her arm in concern. “Are you sure?”
She snorts. “I’d say ten pre
gnancy tests and throwing up anything that resembles food pretty much says it all.”
I lean back on the bench. “That explains your mood swings and those weird eating habits, like you had at my dress fitting.”
“Yeah,” she whispers. “I had my suspicions then, but I wasn’t sure until my period never showed up.”
I swallow in my throat, hoping she won’t be upset about my admission. “I thought the same thing.”
She exhales and nods. “It’s okay, Alli. I guess I just didn’t want it to be true.”
“Oh, honey. What did Tomas say?”
“I don’t know, since I haven’t told him yet.”
My mouth drops. “Lucy, you have to tell him!”
“Well, that would be difficult since he’s in the Czech Republic and I have no idea when he’s coming back,” she informs me.
My mouth drops farther at this news. “What? Is he there to see his family?”
“I would think so, but he was so vague about it. He just announced a few days ago that he was going—no advance notice, nothing.”
“And you don’t know when he’s coming back?”
She shakes her head. “Nope.” Her voice turns quiet as she begins to cry. “How do I tell him, Alli? I have no idea how he’ll react. He’s been so sensitive about everything, especially my friendship with Ian. No matter how many times I try to reassure him, he doesn’t believe that we’re just friends and nothing more. So how the hell do you think he’ll take it when I tell him I’m pregnant?”
I take Lucy’s hand in mine. “This is what you’re going to do. When he comes back, you sit him down and tell him. And if he doesn’t believe you, then he’s not worth the effort. But I think he is. We had a long talk at the engagement party.”
She pulls out a tissue from her coat pocket and wipes her nose. “You did?”
Sorry, Tomas. You had your chance. My best friend is a wreck, and she comes first.
I inhale deeply. “You’re gonna kill me for this…”
“Doubtful.”
“I overheard your argument with him when you told him to drop the woe-is-me look.”
She shakes her head at me. “Shit, Alli, why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Didn’t think you’d appreciate knowing that. But there’s more. I talked to Tomas after he came out of the room.”
Lucy sits up in attention. “What did he say?”
“He’s worried about what you think of him and his family.”
Her eyebrows narrow in confusion. “What about his family? I’ve never met them.”
“That’s the point. After what he said, I doubt you ever will because he’s afraid of what you’ll think of them.” I wait to let her take in what I just said. “Sweetie, do you know what they do for a living?”
“No,” she whispers.
“His father is a farmer and his mom’s a schoolteacher.”
“So what?” she screeches.
“That’s the point I tried to make with him. You wouldn’t care what they do. But you also have to see this from his point of view. Your father is a big shot in the art world and makes a lot of money. How could he possibly measure up to that?”
She starts to cry harder now. “But he does. I don’t care who his parents are. I love him for him. He makes me laugh. He respects me. And he gives me mind-blowing orgasms.”
I roll my eyes. “Too much information, there, sweetie. But I get it. So when he gets back, tell him everything that you just said, listen to him, and then let him know he’s going to be a daddy. And I bet you anything he’ll be ecstatic.”
Lucy nods her head. “I hope so. And for the record, I’m not mad anymore.”
I exhale in relief. “Good. Now, have you been to see an ob-gyn yet?”
She wipes her eyes. “I have an appointment next week. I was going to ask you if you’d come with me, but you’ll be a little busy.”
“Yeah, unfortunately. But, if Tomas turns out to be a shit, which I highly doubt, then I’ll be your Lamaze coach. You’re my best friend, and we’re in this together. And you have to start taking prenatal vitamins and lots of folic acid. I have to look out for my future godchild, you know.”
“I know, and—”
“No more alcohol, caffeine, sushi, smoking…”
“Since when have you ever seen me smoke?”
“No soft cheeses, no overindulging on junk food…”
Lucy holds up her hands to me, palms facing out. “Stop! Shit, Alli, I think I liked it better when you couldn’t talk.”
I smile back at her. “Ha-ha. Very funny.”
Her eyes begin to fill again with tears. “No matter what happens, we’ll be there for each other.”
I slide over closer to my best friend, hugging her firmly. “Always.”
Chapter Fifteen
Davison
It’s true what people say—time always seems to stop in a hospital. Whenever I look up to check the clock on the wall of Allegra’s hospital room, the hands don’t appear to have moved. I just want, I need, someone to come out here and tell me that she’s okay, that the operation is going smoothly, but nobody has appeared yet to deliver any news to me, and I’m about ready to lose my mind.
I glance around the room and can’t help but smile at all of the flowers that have arrived for her so soon. We checked her in at nine a.m., she was in the OR by ten, and two hours later, there are enough bouquets in this small space to resemble a shop in the Flower District—white orchids from Signora Pavoni, red tulips from Lucy, sunflowers from Derek and Aaron, and pink roses from La Diva, ordered all the way from her villa in Italy. But I made sure my apricot roses for her were placed in a prominent spot, right next to the eight-by-ten picture of us from our wedding day in a Tiffany frame that usually sits on our mantel at home, which I brought with me, unbeknownst to her. I want it to be the first thing she sees when she’s back in her room.
My phone vibrates inside my breast jacket pocket. Ian’s name flashes on the caller ID.
“Hey, how is Hong Kong?” I ask. “Everything going okay with Christoph?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. He’s fine. But, Christ, can that man drink me under the table!”
I laugh from the memory of him doing that to me when we were younger. “I see things never change. Tell me more about this investment opportunity.”
“Actually, there’re a bunch of them that he’s interested in; some aren’t too legit as far as I can tell, but there’s one that I think would interest you as well. Voice telecommunications.”
“Really? I was interested in something like that back when I still ran Berkeley Holdings. I was supposed to fly to Shanghai, but the deal fell through. Get me the specifics, because if the same team is involved, I think it’s something that would be good for DCB.”
“You got it. How’s Allegra doing?”
“She’s in surgery now. Hopefully, I’ll hear something soon.”
“Sending her positive thoughts, Davison.”
“Thanks, Ian. Means a lot.” A beep signals an incoming call. “Gotta go. I’ve got Christoph on the other line.”
“Well, well… look who finally decided to wake up.” Ian snorts.
“I’d better take this. I’m pleased to hear it’s going well.”
“Yup, no worries, Davison. I’ll get you that info ASAP. And keep me posted on Allegra.”
“Thanks, Ian. Will do. Talk later.”
I end my call with Ian and switch over to Christoph.
“Christoph, I was just talking to Ian.”
“Oh, man, that Ian.” He laughs. “You’ve got a good one there, Berkeley. He knows his shit. Reminds me of you.”
“Thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment. So, no complaints? Anything you need from me?”
“No, man. It’s good. I’m showing him a good time. He’s never been to Hong Kong before, so we’re going to hit the casinos on Macau tonight.”
Oh fuck.
“Well, enjoy yourselves, and take it easy on him, okay?”
“No worries, man. Ciao.”
I fall back in my chair, sighing a breath of relief. Christoph seems to be pleased, and Ian is doing his job brilliantly. At least one area of my life is running smoothly.
Suddenly, the door opens, and a nurse walks in. “Mr. Berkeley, I was told to tell you that your wife’s operation is going well and there are no complications so far.”
Oh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God.
My shoulders drop, and I exhale deeply.
“Thank you for telling me. Do you know how much longer it’ll be?”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
I nod. “Thank you. I’ll be here in case anything else comes up.”
“Of course.”
Once the nurse is gone, I drop my head into my hands, my elbows on my knees. “Please, God, let her be okay. Just let her be okay. Don’t let anything happen to her. You can do whatever you want to me; I don’t care. Have me shot again, I can take it. That bullet was nothing. A fucking pinprick. Just bring her back to me.”
I lift my head and take a deep breath. Time to call her father and my mom, and text everyone else that so far, my Allegra, my strong, beautiful, courageous wife with the smart mouth, is holding her own.
* * *
Allegra
I open my eyes and nobody is in the room. Not even Davison, who’s been sitting guard at my bedside ever since I was brought back from recovery. But at least from where I’m lying in bed, I can see him, thanks to the wedding picture he brought from home without telling me. That and the apricot roses were the first things I saw when I was wheeled back in, and the last things I saw before I went to sleep.
Everyone has taken turns visiting me—Papa, Mrs. Berkeley, Lucy, Derek, and Aaron, though it was sometimes difficult with those two, since they always make me laugh and I’m not allowed to talk because my larynx needs to heal. But I can see all of their glorious flowers, which make me feel somewhat better, having them with me.
I’m still waiting to hear something concrete from Dr. Mason about my condition. He said the surgery went well with no complications, but to me, that only means that he didn’t need to get out the paddles and shock me back to life.