by Cari Quinn
“I thought you had it all covered, since you swooped right in.” She gave him a thin smile. “Pete, this is Bryan. Bryan, Peter. Bryan is my…best friend’s brother.”
Not that again. “Oh, don’t be modest, sweetness. I’m a bit more than that.” He squeezed her hip and hoped that the genial glance he aimed at the good doctor didn’t resemble a glower. Though a little glower was never bad.
“Modest, is it? As if you’re some prize? No worries there.” She laughed gaily and handed her clipboard to Pete. “Now, about that sick Persian, she’s exhibiting symptoms of—”
“What exactly do you do to be on TV and magazines?” the doctor asked. “I’ve never seen or heard of you.”
“Why, now, you don’t even know my last name,” Bryan said, pleased to see the other man’s smile turning into an exercise in jaw clenching. “How can you be sure?”
“I don’t know of a single semi-famous person named Bryan.”
“He’s in porn,” Jill said before snatching back her clipboard. “I’ll be in examining room B if either of you find time to stop circling and peeing on each other.” Then she sailed down a short hallway.
Bryan picked his chin up off the floor. A glance at Dr. Pete confirmed he’d been affected similarly.
“She’s a bit of a wildcat, isn’t she?” Pete asked, staring after her with obvious fondness.
“Not to me.” Bryan smiled. “Apparently I’m in porn, remember?”
To his surprise, Pete laughed and held out a hand. “I take it that’s not true?”
“No, unfortunately not. I play football.”
Pete’s stance relaxed. “No kidding? For who?”
“Maryland Mariners. I’m a quarterback.” For now. But he didn’t say that aloud.
“No fucking kidding.” Pete snapped his fingers. “Now I recognize you! You rushed for fifty yards in that game last year against the Hawks. You’re a beast, man.”
“Only forty-nine,” Bryan amended. See, he wasn’t always a prick. Just when some slick dude with an alligator shirt and a whole bunch of qualifications that probably made him perfect boyfriend material made lovey-dovey eyes at Jill.
“Still. That’s incredible.” Pete offered him a fist-bump. “I have a cat patient waiting, but maybe we can talk later?”
“Sure thing. Nice to meet you.”
“Oh no, the pleasure’s all mine.” With another grin, the vet headed down the hall, leaving Bryan alone in the reception area with the young assistant behind the counter and a metric ton of remorse.
He’d behaved like a dick, and not for the first time. Worse, he’d gotten peeved by Jill not admitting he was more than her best friend’s brother when he was the one who’d insisted they stay behind closed doors—well, minus low-key wedding meet-ups and encounters of the fried chicken kind.
He wasn’t sure what his problem was. He was used to hiding and keeping secrets. Having a mother with mental issues had sent him into denial mode early. Guarding his privacy was second nature, and for that matter, he was an interloper in this town. Pete was part of Jill’s daily world. He’d be around long after Bryan went back to where he belonged—a field of AstroTurf with the stands full of fans. That was the life he wanted.
But while he was there, he wanted to see more of Jill. Hell, he had to. Already the need for her hummed in his blood. So that would require a bit of damage control. And maybe an apology.
On the way down the hall, he got a text from Dillon.
Yo, man. Got some free time over the next few days?
Yeah, why?
I’m down a crew member at one of the Helping Hands houses. Wanna help? You’ll get paid in free beer and all the wings you can eat.
Bryan grinned. He’d take the wings if not the beer. Besides, he enjoyed the hard physical labor on the houses. Dillon had called on him to help out a couple other times before when he’d been home, but this would be the first time he’d have more than a few hours to assist.
Sure. When do you need me?
Bright and early tomorrow. I’ll text you the address. Seven a.m. Thanks, man.
Seven a.m.? That meant no all-nighter with Jill, even if she forgave him. From her rigid pose in the examination room he found her in, the same one they’d been in the other night, that seemed like a dubious prospect.
She was cuddling the orange kitten she’d found while she stroked the black one with two fingers. That one was curled up in what looked like a small plastic egg, cradled by a soft blanket.
They were both pretty cute, he had to admit. And Jill frigging dazzled him, just standing there in her white lab coat with her hair wrapped up in a tight bun.
“You’re rocking the nurse look right now,” he said, realizing from her narrow-eyed look that he’d chosen unwisely when it came to conversation openers. Jesus, where was that famous quarterback charm when he needed it? “I mean, you seem very competent.”
“Uh-huh.”
“No, seriously. If my dog wasn’t a dog, I’d totally come to you for service. I mean help.” He shut his mouth, hoping she’d say something, but from the look she gave him—half frown, half giggle—she wasn’t about to do him any favors. He said, “So…do you give dogs shots?”
She shook her head, but now he had her attention.
“You have a dog?” she asked. “What’s his name?”
“Bingo. He’s staying with my agent while I’m in town. He’s kind of big, so that makes it hard to travel with him.” Sensing an opening, he edged closer. “He’s a five-year-old Fox Hound mix. Part Shepherd. A lot of Unknown. Smart and affectionate. Sometimes he gets a little rowdy, but if you hold out your hand and speak to him in a low voice, he’ll calm right down. Basically, all he wants is a gentle touch.”
She tucked the orange kitten beside the black one in the egg. “Oh really. Is that all?”
“Pretty much. Though I gotta say,” he said as he slid his hand up her arm, then went for broke and threaded his fingers through the base of her hair along her neck, “I don’t mind a rough one, either.”
“I’m at work, Bryan.”
“Mmm-hmm. I know. And looking at you in your professional gear is turning me on big time.” He leaned in and brushed a kiss along her temple, pleased when she didn’t pull away. “Yeah, gotta say that naughty nurse thing is really working for me, baby.”
She eased back and picked up her clipboard, making a few notes while he suffered in silent, cock-constricted agony. Then she shot him a glance under her lashes. “I may have bought something along those lines this afternoon. But you know, since you’ve developed that burgeoning career in porn, I think you need to dress up for me.”
It was usually him giving the demands, but he wasn’t about to dismiss her out of hand. Not with the prospect of hot sex on the table. And oh, it would be molten hot from that look in her baby blues. “Keep talking.”
She angled toward him and ran the cap of her pen down her throat, stopping just above the collar of her lab coat. “I’ll wear what I bought this afternoon if you’ll wear one of your football outfits.”
“What?” He had to laugh. “It’s not an outfit, it’s a uniform.”
“Potato, potahto.”
“I don’t have access to my gear here. Where am I supposed to get that at this time of night?” It was actually early evening, but still.
She jerked a shoulder and glanced down at her phone as it beeped. Dr. Pete probably desperately needed her to hold his scalpel. “I did my part. You handle yours,” she said, smiling as she moved past him. “Or you’ll be handling things alone.”
“Burn,” he said over his shoulder, shamelessly turning to watch her go.
One thing was clear. He might be jealous as hell over the fact that the vet was about fifty times more well-suited for Jill, but he couldn’t deny that being in her midst had helped get his mind off his problems.
Now he had a new one. Somehow he had to find a football uniform that fit him, stat.
…
She was stupid, insanely,
ridiculously dumb. Why else would she be buying naughty outfits to sleep with a man who clearly only wanted to be seen with her with her in public when no one could recognize them? He’d gone caveman in front of Dr. Pete, but she knew that was only because Pete never interacted with anyone they knew.
Well, that and because he’d scented another guy on the trail. She’d only made that dopey Dr. Pete reference in bed because she hadn’t wanted Bry to think she was angling for a wedding invite. Then Bryan had invited her all on his own. She should probably admit she’d never intended to take Dr. Pete in the first place, but it had been too much fun seeing her caveman get all possessive about her. It made her feel wanted. Cherished. Even if it reminded her that all too soon, her time with Bryan would run out.
Yeah, she had it bad. And she couldn’t have it bad, because he’d already mentioned he needed to leave early the next morning without telling her why. If he was already finding excuses to slip away despite knowing they only had a few dates planned before he left town, then that proved what she’d suspected all along. She would never be enough to satisfy all of Bryan’s needs.
Hearing his voice, she stopped at the back of the exam room. He was perched on a stool that barely seemed capable of containing his bulk, his arms full of squirming, squalling kittens. He’d turned on the small TV on the counter and had tuned it to what appeared to be one of those adorable cat shows on Animal Planet.
And he was talking to the kittens. Gah. She leaned against the wall, grateful to have the support.
“See, that one’s a bit snooty,” he said. “She keeps swishing her tail and looking back over her shoulder. She’s trying to make him work for it. Granted, I get why he’s pursuing her. She’s a knockout. You can tell she’s got more going on than just fluffy fur.” He lowered his head and kissed their heads, and Jill’s fluttering heart surged right out of her chest. “Let that be a lesson to you boys. A dame will run you ragged if you let them. But damn, it sure is worth it for the right one.”
For a second, her pulse ground to a stop. God, if only she could be his right woman. What would be it be like to have him look at her with more than passion in his eyes? To know he wasn’t just jealous of other men because she was a girl he’d slept with, but because she mattered on a level he couldn’t deny? Even imagining that ever being true was pure lunacy. He was going back to his team in a matter of days. Then they would be over. End of story.
“I’m telling you boys—” he said.
She cleared her throat. “Girls,” she said loudly, waiting for the pervasive warm fuzzies he’d caused to fade. He could be sweet even when he wasn’t trying to be. Especially when he wasn’t trying. “Don’t forget Bert and Ernie are females.”
“When did you name them that?”
“The other day. It seemed to fit. The orange one reminded me of Ernie. Chubby little face and all.”
“Huh. Okay. Sorry, ladies. Same advice applies about men, then.” He swiveled to face her, and if she wasn’t mistaken, his cheeks were tinged pink. “So, ah, you heard me?”
“I did.” She walked forward to press kisses on each of the kittens’ heads before meeting his gaze. “You should be glad, since that little speech has ensured you’re so getting laid tonight.”
He pulled his stool that much closer and she stifled a laugh. “That so?”
“Oh, it’s so.” She gave him a quick, glancing kiss and raised an eyebrow at his groan. “That is, if you found the outfit.”
“Uniform. Outfit sounds like you expect me to don my French Maid dress and whip out my feather duster.”
“It is a pretty impressive one.” Tongue firmly in cheek, she shot him a grin and moved around the room, completing the minor tasks she needed to finish before punching out.
“You’re not the first to say so.”
She tried not to bristle. Who was she fooling? Was this how it would always be like with him? Moments of sexy sweetness interspersed with reminders that he’d had flocks of women? His experience was awesome in the bedroom, and not so awesome when it made her feel inadequate when compared to someone so…well, larger than life. And not even referring to his feather duster.
Bryan’s world was so huge. He traveled all over, knew so many famous, well-heeled people. He had money and connections and experiences she never would. As much as she wanted adventures, she was a hometown girl. She might long for different scenery now and then, but she loved Haven. He didn’t. That would always put them at odds.
Smart money said she should squeeze every drop of juice out of their hookup, because it wasn’t ever going to be anything else, and she didn’t want to regret any step she hadn’t taken. Or any chance to push the boundaries with him physically.
Like tonight.
She removed her lab coat and hung it on a peg behind the door. “You ready?” she asked, glancing back to find him tucking the blanket around the kittens in the warming bed. Her ovaries instantly wept for their lost solidarity against him.
She just wasn’t that strong. It was going to hurt like hell when her life went back to normal, post-Bryan.
“Yeah,” he said. “I gotta make a stop though.” He tapped the warmer and turned toward her, cocky smile in place. “If you’re serious about that whole football uniform thing.”
“Oh hell, yeah. I want to see you in the outfit.”
Sighing, he patted her butt. “Jilly Bean, you try my patience.”
“Ditto, stud.”
She stopped by the desk and signed out as she always did, then waved at Pete. He’d stopped to get a drink at the fountain, but he didn’t seem in any hurry to get back to the other examination room.
“You two headed out?”
“Yes, we are. Have a good night,” she called, noticing Bryan’s so-not-subtle attempt to get closer to her side. Did he think she wasn’t aware of what he was doing? He just wanted to plant his flag before he uprooted it and left a big ol’ hole in her dirt.
“You, too. Bryan, my man, I hope to see you again.”
My man? What the heck?
“Sure thing. Take it easy, bro.”
Once they’d cleared the doors, she said, “What the hell was that about?”
Bryan hooked an arm around her waist and spoke into her hair. “Football unites men. Sometimes it brings a tear to my eye.”
She couldn’t help giggling as she elbowed him. “Yeah, well, you better hope you put out and get in that outfit for me or else you’ll cry for a different reason. It’s called spending the night alone with your hand.”
Despite the darkness, his eyes gleamed. “Oh, you can bet I’ll put out, darlin’.”
She should have felt cold in the night’s chill, but the way he pulled her against his side flooded her with heat. “I’ll follow you back to—”
“Nah, I’ll drive us to your place,” he said. “I need to get away from that hotel room tonight.”
“Really?” Arms linked, they walked to his truck. “I thought you enjoyed staying in all the finest establishments. Not that Haven measures up, of course.”
“I’m kind of over the hotel thing. No matter how fine they are, it’s still living out of a suitcase, and I guess I’m getting too old for that shit.”
If he’d clocked her in the face, she probably wouldn’t have been more surprised. “You’re not old.”
“No. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen and done amazing things. But after a while, when there’s an endless parade in front of you, you forget to really look.” He squeezed her hand and unlocked the passenger door of his truck before ushering her inside. “Up you go.”
She waited until he’d joined her in the cab of his truck to snap her seatbelt and turn to face him in her seat. “You drove your truck up here when it would’ve been easier to fly. Why not bring your dog and stay in your old house? It’s standing empty, isn’t it?”
“Funny you should mention that. That’s where we’re headed.” His lips twisted as he reversed out of the space. “I called a couple of places to see if I could rent a f
ootball uniform, and surprisingly, they’re hard to come by in February. So I racked my brain and remembered I had a couple of old uniforms stashed in my closet at the old man’s place. Ex-place, since he doesn’t live there anymore.”
He didn’t call it his home, she noted. “Why doesn’t he sell it, then?”
“Good question. He says he keeps it for the memories.” He grunted. “Memories of a family he can’t be bothered to contact more often than at holidays.” The twist in his lips turned into an outright sneer. “He means he keeps it for her, not us. We were just the unfortunate consequences of the great love he once had.”
She reached across the console to take the big hand he’d propped against his thigh. “Do you know that for sure?”
“Proof’s in the pudding, doncha think? He hasn’t been the same since she walked out the door.”
“She abandoned him with three kids with no notice. I have to imagine that was pretty tough to deal with. And one of them was furious at him and the world,” she said softly, lacing her fingers with his. “Not saying you didn’t have every right, Bry, but he was hurting. People who are hurting do stupid things, like shutting out the people they need the most.”
Rather than exploding at her as he once might have, he only huffed out a long breath. “Do you mean me? You think I’ve shut him out?”
“Only you can answer that. If you have, you’re more than entitled. Regardless of what he was going through, his kids should’ve come first. He had a responsibility to make sure the three of you were okay.”
“I wasn’t okay,” he said finally.
“But you are now.”
His silence told her more than words ever could. She squeezed his hand and looked out the window. He needed space, so she’d give it to him, even if it killed her. God knew she didn’t know what to say. She’d lost her mama from illness at age twenty, but she’d never doubted how much her mother loved her.
It was hard to say which was worse: Loving someone unconditionally and losing them? Or walking away from someone before you knew if they loved you in the first place?