by Cari Quinn
So what was she waiting for? Heck, what was he waiting for? After all of his talk about not going public, she’d assumed it was because he didn’t want anyone to know. But for all she knew, maybe he believed she didn’t want to go public.
Then reality kicked her hard in the chest. Bryan Townsend needing encouragement to make a move? In what century? This was the one guy who had no problem stating what he wanted and going after it. If he didn’t want them to go public, it was because he had his reasons.
And as much as they’d both talked about not wanting to hurt Vic, she suspected it was more than that. The ego boost of sleeping with a virgin had been too good for him to pass up, but that didn’t mean he saw her as competition for the kind of life he was accustomed to.
Vic crossed her arms over her chest. “Well?”
What could she say? The truth would betray Bryan’s trust. But a lie would betray Vic’s.
“Oh my god,” Vic said. “I can see it on your face.”
“Vic—”
“It’s too late. Don’t deny it.”
“I should’ve told you this before,” she said. “I wanted to, but I needed to make sure what was going on before I jumped the gun.”
“Sounds like she’s been jumping something else,” Lex offered with a grin. “If it’s that fine piece of man, you go, girl.”
Vic looped an arm around her drawn-up knees and lifted a brow. “Go on. Say it, Jill. Tell me you’ve been messing around with my brother even though you know full-well that he’s going to be gone in a week. Tell all of us how it’s going to be different with you, because he’s really not a player down to the bone.” Shaking her head, she tipped back her bottle.
Jill moistened her lips and struggled for a response. Vic was hurt and striking out. She got that. But how was she supposed to argue with the truth? She wanted to believe there was more to Bryan than his fickle reputation, but that didn’t change history.
If he behaved like the old Bryan, he’d probably dump her before he left town. Forget after.
But the old Bryan wasn’t the one she loved. That Bryan wasn’t the man who’d given so much of himself to her inside and outside of the bedroom. So what that he hadn’t told her anything that made her think he saw this as anything more than a fling? This was all new for him. Like with the kittens. He didn’t even like cats, yet he’d stepped up to the plate to help care for them.
She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. God, was she just fooling herself? Had this been over before it had even started?
“This is your bachelorette party,” Jill said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “I don’t want to ruin it by upsetting you.”
“Who’s upset?” Vic shrugged. “I’m just being honest.”
“Have it your way.” The lid was off the box. There was no closing it now. “I’m not messing around with him. You should know me better than that.”
“It’s not you I’m referring to. He’s the one who can’t keep it in his pants.”
“Vicky,” Mel hissed.
“Look, I love my brother. Don’t get me wrong. He just doesn’t get how to be faithful.”
“Playing the field and partying a lot isn’t a crime, and that’s if you even believe all of those stories, anyway.”
“You don’t?”
Jill set down her wine cooler. “I’m just saying, we don’t know for sure they’re true. I haven’t seen him touch any alcohol since he’s been home, and he told me that he hadn’t been with anyone in six months.”
Not that she cared if it had been six months or two. What was past was past. The present and the future were what counted most.
Vicky pursed her lips. “He has my mom’s genes. They’ll always be the types to hit the road when things get tough. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people, they just—”
“Vic, your mom has a mental illness. Bryan doesn’t,” Jill said gently, brushing her best friend’s arm. Vicky moved away, putting distance between them.
Fine. If that was how it was, then she would deal. But she wouldn’t allow Vic to use her hurt feelings as an excuse to run down her brother, especially when he couldn’t defend himself.
“Have you considered that maybe he has changed?” Jill pressed, unable to let it go.
“Obviously you think so. No wonder you didn’t want to tell me what was going on. Next you’ll tell me that he’s going to stop playing football and whittle you an arbor to get married under.” She shook her head. “I know you were a virgin until recently, but that doesn’t equal s—”
“That’s enough.”
Jill’s head whipped around at the cold, flat voice coming from behind them. Bryan stood with his friends at his back, his face as hard as she’d ever seen it. Her chest tightened, and she jumped to her feet, her only thought to comfort him, to erase these last few horrible minutes where Vic had said things Jill knew she didn’t truly mean.
She’d taken a step toward him when Vicky popped to her feet. “What are you doing here?”
“Sucky timing, huh?” He smiled thinly and glanced over his shoulder at Dillon, Cory, and Jake. “We decided to crash your party. Guess the joke’s on me.”
“You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.” Vic shot a panicked look at Jill, though Jill wasn’t having it.
She understood that Vic had reacted from a place of hurt at not being told what was going on between her and Bryan, and that she was worried about Jill—as she always was—along with dealing with the inevitable stress of getting married. But she’d needlessly hurt a guy who only wanted to make her happy. One that had made Jill so happy for the past week.
“Oh, I know that. But I’m glad I did, because I actually thought you saw some good in me. Now I know you think I’m too fucking worthless to get anywhere near your best friend.”
“Bry,” Jill whispered, grabbing his arm. He shook her off.
“No, let’s be real here, why don’t we? She’s rightfully concerned about you hooking up with a guy who goes through women like bed sheets. Maybe she knows the real me. Maybe I can’t stop. If that’s true, being near me is toxic for you.”
Dillon stepped forward and clapped his shoulder. “Come on, man—”
“I’m fine.” He reached up and brushed his fingers over Jill’s cheek, smiling in a way that chilled her down to the bone. “Take the advice you’ve been given, darlin’. Vic loves you.”
Even though he didn’t say the rest, Jill heard it. She loves you, and I don’t.
Vic moved forward and wrapped her arm around her brother’s waist, burying her face in his chest. “Bry, don’t do this. I was mad, and I’m hormonal and acting stupid. I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me. I love you.”
Jill didn’t move, waiting to hear Bryan’s next words.
“I know you love me,” he said. “That’s why I know you were telling the truth as you saw it. You weren’t trying to hurt me. You’re genuinely worried.” He glanced at Jill. “Maybe you’re right to be.”
Jill swallowed. Was he warning her away? Or was this a test? Because she was afraid she was about to fail.
She’d never been good about standing her ground when she wasn’t sure if the other side shared her feelings—and when it came to Bryan, she had no fucking clue. Her gut told her there was more to the story than how dismissive he’d just been, but she wasn’t sure. And when she wasn’t sure, she retreated into herself. Always.
“Yeah, I am worried,” Vic said. She pulled back from Bryan. “Who wouldn’t be? Why would you hide this from me? You know I love you both.” She shook her head, blinking away the tears Jill glimpsed. “Never mind. That’s not important now. The point is, I stuck my big behind where it wasn’t warranted—”
“You’ve done enough damage control, Victoria.” Cory stepped up beside her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. “This is for them to sort out now. Let’s give them a chance to do that without our prying eyes.”
“But—”
“Later, Vic,” Cory admoni
shed gently, leading her away in spite of her fervent protests.
Once the others had followed, leaving Bryan and Jill alone, she rubbed her chilled arms through her flannel parka and stared up at the starry sky.
God, she didn’t want it to end this way. Didn’t want it to end any way. But especially not like this. They’d finally gotten closer, and she’d begun to hope for more.
But saying that felt like too huge of a risk when she was still smarting from what he hadn’t said a few minutes ago. She didn’t expect declarations of love, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t nicked her heart with his reaction.
“Some view up here,” she said, hoping like hell he couldn’t hear her teeth chattering.
“It is. Pretty night.”
Was that all he was going to say? Just stand there and wait for her to make a move? He could’ve denied what Vic had accused him of. Perhaps even acted like he gave a damn what was going on rather than staring up at the sky with his jaw clenched.
He was so close, but she didn’t think she could reach him from this far away.
She fumbled for something, anything, to say. They’d had plans after the party tonight. Date number four. She’d bought her dirty little schoolgirl outfit, and she’d intended to tease him within an inch of his life. How could she do that now? She definitely wasn’t feeling sexy, and he wasn’t giving her an inch.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she tugged it out, frowning at the readout. “It’s the cat rescue center. I need to take this.”
“Go ahead.”
Deliberately, she didn’t turn away. She didn’t want him to think she was cutting him out of anything, even a professional phone call. “Pete? What’s going on?”
Bryan seemed to bristle at Pete’s name, but he didn’t react otherwise.
“It’s Ernie,” Pete said. “Her respiration is off. We think she may have aspirated milk into her lungs.”
“I’m on my way.” She hung up and sucked in a deep breath. “Ernie—the orange kitten—is sick. She might have pneumonia from inhaling milk—”
“Go,” he said quietly.
She nearly asked him to come with her, then decided maybe he’d prefer the space. She had no idea what to do to close the gap between them, so she fell back on her standard response. Cool indifference. She nodded and made it two steps away before she turned back and tried one last time.
“I should be back to my place within an hour or two at the most. Why don’t you take my key and wait for me?”
He didn’t hide his internal struggle. His features tightened, and he fisted his hands at his sides as he looked out at the hills that surrounded the town, his focus anywhere but on her. Still, she waited. She wanted to show him she hadn’t given up on them.
Forget his sister’s warnings. Forget everyone who said she shouldn’t feel the way she did about this man. If she had to make a choice, he was it. It was that simple.
“Yeah.” He held out his hand, and she detached her key from the ring and laid it in his palm. He closed his fingers and gave her an indecipherable look. “Take your time with Ernie. I’ll be waiting.”
Chapter Ten
Two hours later, Bryan stood in Jill’s darkened apartment. He’d driven around until he couldn’t take his thoughts any longer. But she still wasn’t home, and the silence of her place was getting to him enough that he’d ventured into her bedroom.
He stared down at the outfit she’d laid out neatly on her bed. Other women might occasionally lay out a dress for a party. Leave it to Jill to lay out her kink gear.
Well, moderate kink. They weren’t doing anything too hardcore. Just fun play. He couldn’t indulge in the full range of kink he really enjoyed, not without inviting the kind of intimacy they needed to avoid. He hadn’t even really spanked her ass yet. He definitely hadn’t fisted her hair hard enough to make tears well up in her eyes as he nudged her to the floor. She was a little bit dirty, but he’d known the rules all along. Bruises of any sort during sex were out, even moderate thumb smudges on her wrists. Good girls weren’t to be tainted by the likes of him.
His sister got that despite not knowing about his proclivities toward the rougher end of things. Maybe he gave off a vibe.
Sweet girls, beware. I’ll steal your innocence and eat it like candy.
Jill didn’t appear put off, though. Not even after a glimpse into his dark desires. One part of him warmed to her lack of consideration toward anything Vic had said. She truly hadn’t seemed to care. The other part of him knew she was playing with fire, and he’d be damned if he was the one who gave her the burn.
He fingered the short plaid skirt with its knife-kick pleats. Imagining her in it got him hard, so hard he had to grip the base of his shaft to try to get himself back in line. His gaze traveled up to the white tied blouse, perfect for knotting over a midriff. She’d pulled out her white lace-topped stockings again and a pair of heeled shoes with wide buckles. Her skirt had a belt, too, with another buckle.
Fuck, he shouldn’t picture that buckle imprinting the smooth flesh of her ass. If he let himself spank her beyond the occasional love tap, there’d be no turning back. Either she’d say no, and he’d be crushed…or she’d say yes, and then he’d really be in trouble. But Lord, he could barely keep himself in check as it was. He ached to bring the buckle across her skin in a way that left a momentary sting that turned into warmth he would exploit with his fingers in her pussy until she was writhing and begging.
No. He couldn’t go there.
But maybe he should. After everything they’d been through—if this was going to end—she deserved to see his true self at least once.
He gripped the skirt in both hands and shut his eyes. It was probably the kindest thing he could do for her in the long run. If she rejected him, all the better.
As much as he hated the idea of causing her even a moment’s uncertainty, she’d thank him once she’d moved on to her appropriate family with two-point-five kids and a cat. Those kids wouldn’t have a mentally-ill grandmother, no grandfather who disappeared as soon as the gambling tables tempted him.
And Dad? Well, Dad wouldn’t be playing for guts and glory and tabloid spreads. He’d work some regular job, maybe as a teacher or an accountant. Perhaps even help build homes for charity. He might not drive a flashy truck or have a massive portfolio, but he’d be reliable.
Bryan’s gut knotted. With a guy like Dr. Pete, she would never want for a damn thing. And she would definitely never find herself tied up at night, wearing a blindfold with a few colorful stripes marring her pale ass.
The apartment door opened a few moments later, and she called out tentatively. “Bry?”
“In here,” he answered, sitting on the edge of her bed.
She appeared in the doorway and offered him a quizzical smile he could see in the moonlight. “What’re you doing sitting in the dark?”
His first thought was for the tiny helpless kitten, Ernie. He wondered how she was. But he didn’t want to fool Jill into thinking he was a different sort of man than he was. So he didn’t ask.
She crossed the threshold. “We think Ernie will be okay. Pete suctioned her airways and gave her oxygen, then started an intravenous drip and got her on antibiotics. She’s young and frail, but luckily Pete recognized the signs and got her the treatment she needs.”
“Thank God for that.” He cleared his throat. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“Yeah, Pete really moved quickly. He’s a blessing to the cen—” She broke off, probably noticing the inhalation he couldn’t hide. “Bry?”
Pete was a blessing to her and those kittens. No doubt about it. Him, on the other hand? Not so much. He hadn’t even wanted to hold them at first.
“Are you okay? I promise you,” she said. “Vic didn’t mean what she said. She was just on the edge and overemotional. I think she’s freaking a bit about the wedding, too.”
“Right.” He could beat around the bush, or he could make this happen as fast as possible. It was better fo
r both of them if he finished this quickly. “You want to know what I was thinking about before you got here?”
“What?”
“Fucking you so hard your knees give out.”
“Oh.” She exhaled. “Well then. That’s nice.”
“It’s not going to be nice, baby.” He rose and set aside her skirt. He stalked over to her and thumbed up her chin until her eyes were riveted to his. “I’m going to take you further tonight.” He rubbed his finger over her mouth, smearing her sticky lip gloss.
She took another shuddery breath. “Sounds good to me.”
“I won’t be gentle.” He pulled her against him with his other hand, pressing his thick cock against her belly. “It’s time for you to know who I truly am.”
He expected her to balk or ask questions. She didn’t. She glanced up at him with her trusting blue eyes and nodded, as if he’d said the most reasonable thing in the world.
She said, “What do you want me to do?”
“Do?” For an instant, he was totally knocked off-stride.
“Yes, do. To start the rough stuff.”
Shaking his head, he threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling harder than normal. “Are you hearing me? I’m going to spank and bite and tongue-fuck you for so long that you’ll beg me to stop. I’ll redden your ass with my hand. Then I’ll use your belt to leave a permanent mark. I’ll slide three fingers inside you, maybe four. When you’re so overloaded you can’t breathe, I’ll slide my fingers in your ass and make you take me that way.” He licked the side of her throat and registered her tremors. “Still want to do this, baby?”
She stepped back, and his stomach dropped. This was it. Now he’d done it. He’d driven her away. Better that way, even if it hurt like hell.
Though her fingers fumbled on the buttons of her flannel parka, she kept her gaze steady on his.
“What’re you doing?” he whispered.
“Getting undressed.” She tossed her thick mass of hair and shrugged her shirt off her shoulders, baring her plain white cotton bra. The lack of over-the-top lingerie moved him, because she’d known they were meeting that night. Some men might see it as her getting too comfortable too soon. He saw it as she trusted him to find her sexy no matter what.