by Sylvia Ryan
“Come back to bed, Gracie.”
“I’m going up to start digging the latrine early, before it gets any hotter,” she said as she headed toward her boots.
He’d never been so summarily brushed off in his life. After a long sigh, he swung his legs over the side of the bed. “You want any food?”
Her eyes locked on his, and he saw her adamant refusal to allow them to travel lower to his exposed hardness.
“Later,” she said over her shoulder as she walked up the stairs.
“Still just sex to you, Grace?” he challenged.
She disappeared through the false wall without a reply.
This was the “it’s just sex” philosophy in action. He didn’t like it. He sat alone on the edge of the bed and felt his temper flare. The harsh “don’t call me, I’ll call you” dismissal sent a clear message that she was trying hard to keep anything between them meaningless.
But, shit, wasn’t that what he’d done with practically every woman he’d ever been with? He’d given them all a polite thanks and then the brush off. He’d never really been open to any long-term commitment with his sexual partners over the years. Sarge’s conscience pricked him a little. He didn’t mean to hurt anybody’s feelings, but now being on the receiving end of the unemotional, noncommittal post-sex morning, he knew his apathy toward them had been hurtful.
“Huh,” he said to the empty room. He’d learned something today. A bit too late, in his estimation, but still, he’d learned.
Chapter 7
Grace worked long hours side by side with Sarge in the unusually warm fall weather. Her mind whirled, desperate for distractions that would blur the mental picture of their hot, tangled bodies from the night before.
She had given in to the desire his hands coaxed from within her. But from the moment she’d opened her eyes that morning, panic grabbed her, put down roots, and made itself at home. What was it about him that made her so compliant, so yielding to his will? It felt like he was able to control her with just a look or the mere rumble of his voice. It made her feel defenseless against him, and that terrified her.
While she worked, Grace’s thoughts ran away from the charged lust and barrage of other feelings Sarge spurred within her, and began to travel to the camouflaged soldier she’d met the night before.
Again and again throughout the day, her mind returned to Van. At first, she couldn’t figure out why. They’d only had the briefest of encounters. Maybe he was the only safe distraction her mind could focus on? New feelings and thoughts about Sarge skulked around her head and were summarily rejected if they had the strength to push forward to her conscious mind. And every other thought she’d had that morning seemed to be leading her down one dark road or another. Ultimately, she didn’t think she kept returning to thoughts of Van because he was a safe distraction. There was something more, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.
Sometime later in the day, her gray matter spit out the answer to the question that had been puzzling her. It was so simple, such a little thing, that it was stupid, really. He had accepted the fact that she could take care of herself on her way back home. There was no condescension, no you’re-just-a-girl vibe. He had merely given her the once-over and nodded his head when she asserted herself. He accepted her, respected her assertion, and didn’t second-guess her as if he knew better. It was refreshing and so fucking rare that by the end of the day, thoughts of him consistently crashed against the breakwall of her mind.
She wanted to go to the lake again. Grace snickered to herself. Since bathing in the lake was probably the hygienic equivalent to a dog dragging his ass on the carpet, she had to be honest and admit to herself that she only wanted to go so she could see Van again. Some part of her knew that this line of thinking was a way of running away from any feelings she may be developing for Sarge, but it wasn’t that entirely. There was something else.
She needed to see Van again. With the exception of her dad, Van had been the first man who didn’t immediately categorize her into dumb blonde because of her looks or sweet, helpless girl because of her voice. From the get-go, he had assessed her as capable.
As the day passed, the desire to see him became increasingly urgent. She needed to satisfy her curiosity. She had to be sure she wasn’t passing up Prince Charming without a glance just because the kingdom was crumbling around them.
Sarge would be livid if he found her gone. Maybe it would be a good step in the right direction regarding what was going on between them. She wanted to start acting like herself again, unconstrained by his freakishly strong ability to control her. He would have to just live with it. They would be stuck with each other once the world descended into chaos.
By the time the sun began to near the horizon, Grace was dirty and sticky with sweat and more than ready to put her plan in action.
“Sarge?” Grace called out the back door.
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to clean up now. I’ve had it for the day.”
“I’ll be in later. I still have some things to finish up.”
“Okay.” There, she’d told him. He had just assumed that she was cleaning up in the shelter.
Fuck. Who was she kidding? By leaving, she was breaking a promise that wasn’t even a day old. She shook her head. She didn’t even know who she was anymore.
Last time.
She grabbed her weapon and headed out the front door.
* * * *
Van wanted to see Grace again, but it was a selfish hope, a feel-guilty-for-even-thinking-about-it feeling because the nicey-nice neighbors routine was wearing thin, and things were about to get dicey in this already questionable neighborhood. Those who were drinking the Lake Erie water were getting violently ill. That, coupled with the shortage of available food and the realization that nobody was coming to replenish the looted supermarket shelves, made people scared, well on their way to panicked. It wouldn’t be safe for regular people much longer. Only those willing to threaten and hurt to get what they wanted would be roaming the streets tonight. So the guilty feeling he carried was warranted. If he wasn’t so compelled to see Grace again, he would want her to stay home, stay safe.
Van was miserable standing in the hot sun in full gear, and it was all he could do to refrain from daydreaming about Grace. He’d thought about her so many times that at some point, he realized he was fighting a losing battle trying to squash that train of thought. He didn’t know why his thoughts gravitated back to her at first, but lucky him, he had the whole damn day to figure it out. And what he realized was that it wasn’t any of the obvious reasons why he’d have trouble getting a woman out of his head. It wasn’t her looks or the fact that he’d seen her completely naked. Nor was it the mental picture seared into his brain of her tank top stuck to her breasts, bouncing a bit with each footfall. Even the fact that she had her own weapon and could take care of herself well enough to venture out at night wasn’t the aspect of her that made her fascinating, albeit, those were plusses, too. What made her stick out from every other woman he’d ever met was her ability to sit, calm, patient, and unmoving until the exact situation she was waiting for existed. Stupid reason, but that was it.
She didn’t fall into a stereotypical female role. Her body was female, but her energy was more imposing, more masculine. He was also confident that he could spend an afternoon with her and not run the risk of death by talking, even though with that sweet bird chirp of a voice, he did run the risk of getting cramps in his cheeks from grinning so much.
He’d scoped out the area that overlooked the beach with the express intent of finding a place where he could take Grace if he saw her again. He sought out someplace safe where they could spend some time and talk for a while. He decided that he would definitely reveal his attraction to her if he saw her tonight simply because he couldn’t get her out of his mind, and because he may never get the chance to see her again. It was a long shot that anything more would ever come of it
. They would both be lucky to be alive this time next month, which in his mind was more of a reason to wring everything he could out of the time he had left.
During the hottest hours of the afternoon, Van’s mind meandered to places it shouldn’t have gone. He sported half wood for hours, fantasizing about what he wanted to do if he ever had Grace’s beautiful little body to play with. He could practically taste her on his tongue already. And once there, the visual image of his head between her legs was seared into his brain.
“Fucking quit,” he hissed to himself almost inaudibly as his mind went there again. He still searched for her every few minutes, and just as the last crescent of the sun sank completely into the horizon, his eyes found her walking toward him. He felt the ridiculously big smile spread over his face and didn’t even try to hide it.
“So much for you taking my advice about coming out alone,” he said as they reached each other.
“You’ll find I don’t listen to anybody, so don’t feel bad.” A good-natured grin transformed her face from tough and serious to softly appealing.
“Well your rebellious nature is my lucky break, because I was hoping to see you today.”
Her eyes flashed a moment of surprise. “You were?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
She didn’t answer him.
“I was just going to take a break.” He hung his rifle from its strap over his shoulder and reached out a hand to her. “Come sit with me a while until the beach totally clears out.”
She stilled for a moment. Hesitation flickered over her face. She was assessing him…assessing the situation. Then, her eyes traveled up to his, and she placed her delicate hand inside the one that was outstretched toward her. Van led her to the spot he had found earlier. It had a good view of the beach below but was secluded enough that they wouldn’t be seen unless somebody came right up on them by accident.
His eyes roamed over her body, checking for any signs that she wasn’t eating or drinking as she sat down next to him. “Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? I have an apple somebody gave me this afternoon.”
Grace’s face fell, and she pegged him with a serious stare. “You don’t have any other food than an apple?”
Van shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. I know how to keep myself alive.”
Van and Grace sat talking for a half hour, getting to know the basics about each other. He could have sat there forever, reveling in the comfortable aura that surrounded her. There was no awkward fumbling of words or any uncomfortable silences. There were no pretenses or games, just one person talking to another, straightforward and easy.
“I was at the guard station in Middleburg when the power went out. Every man there was immediately assigned to the shoreline.”
“Did you get any information about what was going on before you left? It was an EMP, right?”
Van was surprised she knew what an EMP was, but only for a second. During their conversation, it had become obvious that she was well informed and well prepared for a situation like this. He nodded in answer to her question. “The initial reports were that the Chinese claimed responsibility for the EMP immediately after it happened. Evidently, many countries around the world are celebrating our demise. From their perspective, the rich bully of the world just got taken down a couple notches.”
“I can see the TV news stories now—footage of people dancing in the streets because of this. Celebrating our suffering.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” He shook his head. “Anyways, they sent all the guardsmen to the shoreline because it’s our northern border.”
“Do you think they’re going to invade us now that we’re relatively defenseless?”
“Makes sense. But I doubt they’ll be doing it through Canada. Our deployment to the northern border is just policy, I think.”
“So the whole country is like this?”
“Pretty much. I heard the southern half of Florida was out of range of the pulse, but that might have just been rumor.”
Grace had a quick intake of breath. “Really? My dad was supposed to be in Florida when this happened. Oh God, Van, that’s the best thing I’ve heard in a long time.”
She leaned in toward him and gave him a big hug, and Van didn’t hesitate to return the affection. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight for way too long, but she didn’t object, and she didn’t try to get out of the clinch. Her breath on his neck, and the softness of her hair brushing his cheek, felt right to him. He brought a hand up to the back of her head, gently sifting his fingers through her hair. When he finally released her, Grace sat closer to him than she’d been before.
She cleared her throat. “So, you haven’t seen any guardsmen since?”
“No.”
Grace looked down and rubbed the heels of her hands on her eyes. “They’re not coming back for you, are they?”
He lay back, relaxing on his forearms, and looked out over the increasing blackness of the lake. “Probably not.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Survive as best I can, like everybody else.”
“I wish I could help you somehow.”
Van’s eyes roamed over her face. The evidence of her distress over his situation etched itself there. He turned her head toward him by lightly guiding her chin with his index finger. “Grace.” He smiled down at her, locking his gaze with her sad eyes. “You are one special woman. I guarantee there aren’t many people giving thought to whether other people, strangers, are going to be okay. Most are strictly focused on themselves.”
“I’m not like other people,” she said softly.
“A man would have to be blind not to see that.” Their eyes remained locked, and he tried to read the thoughts that were so visibly swirling through her mind. Then her gaze traveled to his lips before darting away. The eye contact was broken, and the moment lost. Van wished he had something beautiful and poignant to say, but his mind was foggy and his thoughts garbled. He cleared his throat. “So, what did you do before we all were forced into the Dark Ages?”
“Nursing student. You?”
“Fireman.”
“Mmm, should have known.” She raked his body with an up-and-down glance. “You look like a fireman.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Is that a compliment?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Van stared at her. She looked straight ahead, attempting to scan through the dark to the beach. It seemed like she deliberately looked away from him so that he couldn’t see her expression.
“I couldn’t keep my mind off of you today.” His voice was deeper, huskier than he would have liked.
“You’re probably just bored and lonely.” Still she didn’t look at him.
“Grace.” He scooted closer to her and looped his arm around her back.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea, Van,” she said tenderly.
“Why not, Grace?” he whispered close to her ear.
He noticed the subtle change in her breathing by the quicker rise and fall of her chest. Her body was responding to him, she just didn’t want him to know it.
She turned toward him. Their faces were inches apart. “This is probably the last time I’ll be able to come back here.”
He heard the regret in her voice. “I know. It’s okay. I want you to be safe.” Van pulled her snugly into him with the arm that was looped around her. He leaned in and brushed his lips lightly over hers. His tongue peeked out and skimmed over the softness of her lips. She opened her mouth to him, and then their tongues met and danced slowly around each other. He wanted to lay her back and explore her body, touch every part of her, taste her, smell her, hear her moan. And then she pulled away.
She smiled the sweetest smile, one that hinted of sadness and regret. And then without warning, her easy vibe returned and the air around them changed.
“Everybody’s gone,” she said so quietly t
hat he wouldn’t have heard her if they weren’t so close to one another. “Come on, let’s go get wet.”
Van’s hopes crashed at her obvious side step of his advances. How was it that, in less than an hour, total, of being with her, he could feel so utterly right inside? Her serene power was an aphrodisiac to him.
As he followed her to the end of the pier, his mind worked, trying to figure out how he would be able to see her again. No matter what happened between them tonight, he knew that he wouldn’t be satisfied with the mere scraps of time he’d been able to spend with her. He already wanted more.
When they got to the end of the pier, Van placed his night vision into place and scanned three hundred sixty degrees. The area was deserted.
“Go ahead. I’ll cover you.”
“Come in with me,” she said as she touched his arm and gave him an irresistible look. His cock responded with interest to the invitation. It was an immense test of his self-control and training. He steeled himself, fighting the temptation when a vision of their bodies brushing against each other in the currents of the lake flashed through his brain.
He groaned and lifted her chin with a nudge of a knuckle while taking off his night vision with his other hand. He leaned in toward her slowly, smiled, and pressed his lips to hers.
Chapter 8
“As much as I’d love to accept that invitation, I can’t leave us vulnerable like that,” he said, pulling away from the kiss. “Go ahead. I’ll keep watch.”
Before Grace could say anything else, Van turned his back to her, scanned the area again, and then began to walk toward the shore.
Grace was disappointed, but knew that his decision had been the right one. She just had to throw her impulsive idea out there, hoping maybe that he’d be impulsive with her.
She quickly did her bathing, dunking her head under the water and feeling the sweaty grime of the day disappear and the cool chill of the water envelop her and lower her body temperature. It was over too soon, even though the relief from the heat had her feeling thoroughly energized. She washed her tank top as clean as she could get it in the lake water and put it on. It kept her cold as it stuck to her body on the way back to Van, who was standing at the mouth of the pier.