by Kasey Krane
I had to get out of there. I couldn’t take it any further than that with him. I needed to get away from him so I could escape his spell.
So I ran. I left the bar. I didn’t even bother informing Rocky. At that moment, I didn’t care what happened with my job. What was more important—was saving myself from the clutches of Brendan Doherty.
I had been foolish the last time we met. I was just a silly teenager.
But I was older and wiser now. I was a mother with responsibilities. I wasn’t going to fall into his trap again.
So I went straight back to the apartment and dismissed Nina, who was surprised to see me. She wasn’t expecting me back this soon.
“Are you okay?” she asked before she left. She must have seen how ashen white I looked, the wildness in my eyes.
“I’ll be fine. I just need to be with Davey. I just need sleep.” I was telling myself more than speaking to her.
I thought I could cure myself of Brendan with a good night’s sleep.
Davey’s room was small, but it was sufficient for him. He was happy there, surrounded by his toys and books. He slept peacefully while I sat beside his bed in the dark. I just wanted to be close to him because he was my only source of comfort.
I hoped that seeing and being close to Davey would stop those memories from taking over me.
But they took over anyway.
I couldn’t make myself think about anything other than the night I first met Brendan. How he made me feel.
Excited. Liberated. On top of the world.
He had laughed at my stupid joke about Michael Jackson moon walking into a bar. Honestly, it wasn’t even a real joke.
Anybody else would have rolled their eyes and walked away, but not Brendan. He was amused by me. Maybe he looked at me as something shiny and new—nothing like the girls he usually hung out with.
Well, at least we had that in common, because he was nothing like the guys I usually hung out with either. He was something else.
We talked a little after that. He was quick at putting me at ease. Or maybe it was just the weed hitting my system that relaxed me.
I still had no idea why he was interested in me. We were in a house party full of people, surrounded by hotter and more interesting girls. But Brendan had eyes only for me.
I couldn’t take mine off him. Neither could anybody else.
I was starkly aware of the fact that we were being watched while we hung out by the pool together. I was sure Petra was somewhere in the house watching us from a distance too. We were going to discuss this to death later, I chuckled to myself.
Everyone wanted Brendan and I was the one who had his undivided attention.
He was relaxed and charming, handsome with a devilish grin. He seemed like the kind of guy who knew what he was doing. Not like the other boys I had casually dated in the past.
“Why don’t we find a quiet spot where we can talk in private?” he suggested at one point.
I was too taken aback to even respond for a while. I thought it had to be a joke. Was Brendan Doherty really asking me what I thought he asked me?
“You want to go somewhere alone with me?” I had blurted. It made him smile.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Unless you don’t want to.”
“No…yeah…of course I want to. It’s just that…this isn’t my house.” I blubbered like an idiot, at a complete loss for words and coherent thought.
Brendan smirked, reaching for my hand.
“Don’t worry about that, we’ll find somewhere to spend some time alone together. I just wanted to know if you were up for it,” he said. Then he lifted my hand up to his lips and planted a kiss.
Everyone saw. I was blushing. My heart raced so fast I thought I would collapse.
“Okay, let’s go,” I had replied.
I didn’t care if he saw how much I wanted him. I wasn’t hiding it anymore.
Just as he promised, Brendan found an empty room upstairs in the house.
I was self conscious when we walked into the room because I knew what everyone else was thinking—all the people who saw us climb up the stairs together.
But at that moment, I didn’t care. I had been drinking, I was high and I was glowing, basking in the attention of a guy who seemed amazing.
We started making out as soon as he shut the door behind us.
He couldn’t keep his hands off me and I felt the same way. All the conversations and jokes we shared up until this point—seemed like foreplay. We were both already turned on for each other.
Brendan was big and strong. He lifted me up and carried me around the room, throwing me on the bed and undressing me quickly.
I surrendered myself to him completely and let him take the lead.
Not like I had much sexual experience before that anyway, and it seemed like he knew what he was doing.
I felt like I was floating while he took command of my body. I had never been that wet for someone before. I had never been that comfortable being naked around anyone.
As big and intimidating as he looked, somehow, he was incredibly gentle and thoughtful in bed. He knew how to touch me, how to make me feel safe.
When he entered me, it felt like I was baring my soul to him. I didn’t even feel drunk anymore. I felt like I had complete control of my mind, but he controlled my body.
No other guy before him had made me feel that way.
He made me come easily, like it was nothing to him. Then he came inside me. We came together. I moaned and whispered his name, while he kissed me deeply.
It didn’t feel dirty or silly. It didn’t feel like a one-night-stand. For some reason, it felt like we had always known each other. Like he knew what my insecurities were and he helped me overcome them.
After we were done, he rolled off me and pulled me into his arms.
I didn’t think guys did that. I didn’t think guys were interested in cuddling after sex. Especially not guys like Brendan.
But he surprised me yet again when he held me close to his chest, close enough that I could hear his heart beating.
I couldn’t believe it was happening. That I was lying in the arms of a guy I had never met before and felt completely and totally in love with.
It had to be love. There was no other explanation for it.
“I think I’m going to go get us some drinks,” he said.
We had been lying in bed in silence, snuggled in each other’s arms. I’d lost track of time. It felt like we’d been lying there together for hours, when it was probably just ten minutes.
Either way, I was annoyed by the interruption. I wanted to be there with him forever. Nothing else mattered.
“Okay, I guess,” I muttered, sitting up.
Brendan sat up too. He smiled when he saw me pouting. Then he leaned in to kiss me.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. I’m not done with you yet,” he said.
That brought a smile to my face and I watched him with a greedy desire as he dressed himself.
He gave me a wink before he left the room.
I was naked under the sheets. I didn’t even know whose room this was. Would Mia have been mad at me for using a room in her house without permission? Brendan didn’t seem to care, but then he didn’t seem to care about anyone or anything.
I bunched up the sheets in my hands as I sat there on the bed—recalling every precious moment I had spent with him. Right from when he first walked up to me and tapped my shoulder. To the moment when he gripped my bony hips and thrust his big cock inside me.
I was convinced I could make myself come again just like that. Just by thinking about him.
I must have sat there on the bed for half an hour before I realized too much time had passed. Brendan said he was just going back to the party downstairs to grab us some drinks. It couldn’t have been taking him that much time.
My hands shook as I put on my clothes. Now I was worried.
It was too good to be true. Did I make a mistake? Was I goin
g to make a complete fool of myself?
I slipped out of the room and went down the stairs. The party was still in full swing but Brendan was nowhere in sight.
I could sense looks being directed at me. Everyone at that party knew what I had done. Did they envy me?
I didn’t feel like I was in such an enviable position anymore.
Then someone grabbed my arm and spun me around. I gasped when I saw it was Petra.
“Come on, Rosa, we’ve gotta go!” she hissed.
“What are you talking about? I have to find Brendan,” I snapped, pulling my arm away from her.
“He’s left,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“What?”
“He came down the stairs like forty minutes ago and walked out the door. I’ve been waiting for you to come down. I wasn’t sure what was going on with you.”
“He’s left?” I gasped.
Petra’s expression changed to one of pity. She could see the horror and anger on my face. I couldn’t believe this was happening.
One moment I was convinced I was in love with this amazing stranger who was going to change my life. And the next minute, I was alone again. No wonder everyone was staring at me. They all knew I had been abandoned immediately after sex.
Eight
Brendan
When I woke up the next morning with Rosalie’s beautiful body still on my mind—I knew I was fucked.
In the shower, I jerked off to her hard. I had no other choice. She left me hard and dry. I almost hated her for it, but not really. I couldn’t.
Every time I thought I could make myself stop obsessing over her—I’d see her face. How teary-eyed she looked when I caught her in the store room. I didn’t know what I had done. Was it my fault? What did I do to make her push me away and run from me?
Maybe it had nothing to do with me, but it sure felt like it did.
I was supposed to meet Tristian at our father’s office and discuss the meeting from the previous day. There was a lot to talk about. Even though we had managed to convince these guys to stay on with us, I was pretty sure our luck was running out soon.
Aldo already spread poison within our business associates and soon it was going to catch up with us. And if we started losing money now, it would have long term business consequences for us.
There was so much to discuss—but my mind was on Rosalie.
The girl who I would probably never see again.
I drank two cups of coffee to wake myself out of the fantasy of her. I needed to focus. I needed to forget about her.
I got to the house and tried to keep it—business as usual. Tristian led the conversation with our father, while I sat there trying to put my thoughts together.
Rosalie was still on my mind. It was fuckin’ unbelievable.
I kept picturing her next to me, staring up at me with those big blue eyes I would never forget. And that look on her face that reminded me of someone else.
Tristian gave me the chance to jump in on the discussion a few times, but I passed them up. I didn’t know what to say anymore. I’d completely missed the train.
I noticed how our father gave me a few glares. It was unlike me to not want to voice my opinion. Especially on a subject I was personally involved in.
He dismissed us eventually, saying he had a lot to think about and that we needed to come to a conclusion with Aldo soon.
I rushed out of the room, eager to return to my apartment and spend some time alone. But Tristian grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back.
“Come on, brother, we need to talk. Where do you think you’re going?” he said.
“I fucked that chick from last night,” I told Tristian as we lit our cigarettes outside.
We stood on the back porch of our family home together, looking out at the big manicured backyard.
“Yeah, I figured you were going to do that,” he said with a shrug. “What does that have to do with anything, though?”
He was right. It shouldn’t have had anything to do with my life. Rosalie was gone and I should have forgotten about her, but I didn’t. It proved impossible to forget about her.
“Well, I didn’t actually fuck her,” I added.
Tristian’s brows furrowed in confusion.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Things got hot and heavy in the store room. We were alone.”
“But you didn’t bang her?”
I shrugged.
“She left before that happened.”
“She left?”
Tristian was too shocked to even smoke his cigarette now.
“Apparently she had a problem with me.”
“What problem?”
“I don’t know. She didn’t explain.”
“Do you know her?” he asked. It was exactly what I thought too.
“No. I don’t think so. She didn’t seem to imply that either.”
“Then what was her problem?” Tristian asked.
“Maybe she has values or something. I don’t know,” I grunted.
Tristian watched me closely. He had a smile forming on his face now.
“So basically, what you’re saying is that you won’t be able to think straight until you fuck her.”
“That isn’t what I said.”
“But that’s what you’re thinking.”
I said nothing because he was probably right. Tristian knew me better than anybody else did.
“I don’t know how to find her. I don’t even know her fuckin’ last name.”
“But you know where she works,” he said.
“And you think those fuckers at that place they threw us out of are going to roll out the red carpet for me if I go back there?”
Tristian laughed.
“Since when do you give a shit about red carpets? You want to find this chick, so go find her.”
My brother put the seed of an idea in my head. All this time, I didn’t think about going after Rosalie again. She didn’t want to see me.
But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t go after the answers I was looking for.
“I just want to know why she ran away from me. What is her problem,” I said.
“And you want to fuck her,” my brother added.
I shrugged.
Tristian slapped a hand on my back.
“Go find her, fuck her and get her out of your system. We’re in the middle of a war, remember? The last thing we need is your head out of the game,” he said.
He was right. I needed to find a way to get rid of Rosalie from my thoughts. A repeat of the meeting with our father wasn’t going to work. I needed my head clear if I was going to be of any use to my family.
I stubbed the cigarette out and gave Tristian a mock-salute.
I wasn’t done with Rosalie yet.
I waited until it was much later, around the time that I saw her at the bar the previous night. Technically, that would have improved my chances of seeing her again. Not that I knew which days she worked at the bar, or at what time. That was if she even worked at the bar anymore.
I waited outside for a while, watching the entrance to see if she’d go in or leave. But Rosalie was nowhere to be seen, and the longer I waited the longer it fucked with my head.
Being back at the place where I last had her charged me up. I grew more anxious to see her again.
Eventually, I walked in.
Like the previous night, the bar was thronged with people. It took me a while to orient myself and clock all the waitresses who worked there. None of them were Rosalie. It seemed like she was not on shift that night. I grumbled angrily under my breath as I walked around the place, pushing through the crowds of drunken people in my search for her.
At least security hadn’t approached me yet or tried to kick me out. I was fully prepared to put up a fight if that happened. After I’d scoured the place and determined she wasn’t there, I went up to the counter.
The guy from the previous night, one of them who had pulled me out of t
he brawl—was making drinks. It was likely that he was a manager or something. He appeared to be pretty full of himself.
“Where’s Rosalie?” I asked him, pushing my way to the front.
He ignored me for a few moments before looking up at me.
“What are you even doing back here, man?” he said, shaking his head.
“Isn’t it pretty obvious? Looking for her,” I replied.
“She’s not here, and even if she was, fat chance I’d take you to her. She was supposed to be working last night, instead of running after you like you’re some fuckin’ knight in shining armor.” The man sounded resentful and he started to get on my nerves.
I jumped over the counter and grabbed his collar. The drinks he was making fell out of his hands, spilling everywhere.
“Hey man! What the fuck?” he shouted. I pulled him over the counter closer to me.
“Don’t make me go over there, asshole. Just give me her address and I’ll walk out of here. With any luck, you’ll never have to see me again.”
“Okay. Okay! Jesus. Just let go of me and I’ll go look up her address!” he shouted over the music.
I gave him a long threatening glare before releasing his collar. He looked genuinely afraid and scurried off to the back to look for Rosalie’s details.
Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this easy.
I made a note to let her know when I found her how unreliable her employer was.
Nine
Rosalie
Because I didn’t have the night-shift at the bar, it meant that I was able to put Davey to bed. He had spent the afternoon and evening with my mom who collected him from kindergarten.
So after my shift at the diner, I had approximately forty-five minutes of awake-time to spend with him before I had to get him ready for bed. I was probably way more exhausted than he was. I’d been up since early in the morning and I barely slept the previous night.
I’d already wasted too much time thinking about Brendan when I should have focused that time on my son.