by Kasey Krane
I was self conscious but only for a moment. I followed his instructions and moved my arms away so he could look at my breasts. The light bulge of my belly and curves of my thighs. From the glow of excitement in his eyes, I could see that he liked what he saw. He looked like a hungry wolf salivating at the sight of a juicy lamb.
Once again, he was able to make me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the city. Like he wouldn’t look at anybody else that way.
But I was sure he had.
He had four years to look at as many girls as he wanted. He could have any girl and I was sure he took plenty.
I watched as he took off his shirt and then his pants.
It had been a dark room in Mia’s house where we had sex for the first time. I hadn’t seen much of Brendan naked that night. It all happened so quickly and he was gone pretty soon.
But now he stood, naked and in all his glory. He had a big muscular body, intimidating and exciting at the same time. It was no surprise that he was able to knock those guys out like flies that night at the bar.
His cock was thick and rock-hard. He reached for it, stroking it with one hand while he looked at me. My pussy was wet for him. My clit throbbed with desire. I wanted him to touch me. Remind me exactly how good he made me feel.
“Get on your hands and knees, Rosalie.” He issued his second command.
Once again, I followed it blindly. I got on my hands and knees, completely naked, my breasts swinging lightly under me. He walked around, still stroking his cock, still examining me closely.
Then he got down on his knees behind me and grabbed my ass with both hands. I felt him squeeze, then slap my left butt hard. The whack of his hand on my body felt good. My pussy throbbed some more.
“You are the most beautiful fuckin’ thing I have ever seen. I knew it, from the moment I saw you at the bar, that I had seen you before. I’d never be able to forget you, Rosalie,” he said before he lowered himself further.
His mouth found my wet pussy from behind. His fingers found my clit. I gasped with pleasure when his tongue dove into me, smacking and slurping my juices hungrily.
He was going to make me come any moment now.
I came with Brendan’s mouth stuck to my pussy. He had his hands on my ass, holding me in position while his tongue lapped me up. I had no control over myself anymore. I just gave up and came. I shuddered with pleasure and my toes curled as I stayed on my hands and knees, shaking and coming, calling out his name.
Brendan moved away from me when I was done. I looked over my shoulder and saw him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. He smiled at me and I tried to smile back.
But I felt powerless. Like I couldn’t move a muscle without shattering into a million pieces. It was kinda scary seeing the power he still had over me.
He stroked his cock again. I stared at him hungrily. Coming once with his tongue halfway inside me—wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted to come again. And it seemed like he had managed to read my mind.
He grunted and grabbed my hips, yanking me backwards to him. My knees scraped on the rough carpet, but I didn’t care.
Brendan pushed himself inside me from behind and I twisted to look at him. He drilled his cock into me like a machine, banging off my ass as he plowed.
I could feel him deep inside. His thick cock throbbed, filling me up.
I knew every inch of him. I remembered everything, and it felt even better this time.
I wasn’t as shy or naive as I was four years ago. I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t afraid of enjoying myself. Letting him see how much I enjoyed myself.
I didn’t care about the next day and just wanted to own tonight.
We moved together. Him inside me. Big and strong. Me almost falling over from the pressure of his cock.
I slowly straightened up and he pulled me to him. My back was pinned to his chest while his cock still drove deep inside me. His hands came around to my breasts—he squeezed and caressed them. Tightly and gently. He played deliciously with my erect nipples while he continued to thrust.
So big. So strong. So fulfilling.
“Come for me again, baby,” he groaned in my ear.
I followed his command too. I moaned and purred then let myself go. He held me tight against him as I came.
Brendan grunted again before he exploded inside me. It felt so good to feel him shoot into me again. Just like he had done that first night. He filled me with his seed, the same way he did four years ago. We kept moving, slower now, rocking against each other.
He was still inside me and I didn’t want him to leave.
I didn’t want to admit how crazy that sounded—but I wanted him to stay inside me forever. Because at that moment I felt safe and content. Happy and exhausted.
He kissed the top of my head before he pulled himself out, but instead of moving away, he pulled me into his arms and we rolled onto the floor together.
I wasn’t sure how it happened but at some point, soon after we had sex, Brendan carried me to my bedroom and we sank into bed together.
Even in my wildest dreams—when I had allowed myself to imagine a night like this. When Brendan and I would ravage each other’s bodies—I had never pictured us lying in bed together.
He threw an arm around me and drew me close to him. I buried my face in the crook of his elbow, breathing in the scent of him. It was a mixture of his cologne, beer and the masculine smell of him. It was exactly how I remembered it from four years ago.
I had to close my eyes.
Brendan kissed my lips lightly and when I opened my eyes again, it seemed like he had already drifted off to sleep. I kissed him back, despite myself. As much as I tried to keep telling myself this was temporary, I couldn’t help but be hopeful.
But what was I hoping for?
The facts hadn’t changed. Neither had our past. Nothing that happened between us tonight would change what had already occurred four years ago. Whether or not he returned to the house looking for me, I had already walked out of there. I had already made the decision to forget about him and move on.
Petra had warned me—the Dohertys were trouble. As sexy as the bad-boy appeal was, realistically, I was better off without being involved with him. Besides, it didn’t look like he was interested in me. As far as I knew, he had abandoned me.
And everything that happened after that was the truth. We couldn’t simply erase the past and its consequences by having sex now.
I stared at Brendan as he slept beside me. He looked so big and heavy in my puny bed, taking up all the space. But I didn’t care.
Only for tonight, I wanted to be snuggled up into him. I basked in the glory of feeling cared for and wanted.
I tried to fall asleep. I knew I was exhausted from a full day’s work. But I couldn’t sleep. Not when Brendan was in bed with me.
I hadn’t slept that night either, after I returned home from Mia’s party. I had spent the whole night fantasizing about him the way I was now. The only difference was that I was alone that night, but I wasn’t now.
I noticed a change in myself about three weeks after the night of the party.
All my college applications had been sent off and I waited to hear back from schools I wanted to get into. My mother was so proud of me for making it that far.
We’d shared a complicated relationship in the past. She had struggled to raise me as a single mother. I had struggled with the concept of being abandoned by my father. I never really got along with any of the other men in mom’s life.
However, despite everything we had endured, finally, I was about to go off to college and follow my dreams. Mom was convinced I was going to make it big. I was going to study architecture and design tall buildings and bridges. She told everyone she knew.
I’d spent those three weeks after Brendan trying to forget about him.
After all, I would go off to college soon. My life would completely change. I convinced myself that I would meet way more interesting and sexier people once
I was a college student. Very soon, Brendan and our short encounter would be history.
And yet, I kept having that nagging feeling inside me. For some reason, I couldn’t shake off the idea that he was one-of-a-kind.
I hadn’t noticed my loss of appetite until one day I woke up in the morning and ran to the toilet because I was going to get sick.
It only took me a few minutes of staring at my reflection in the mirror when reality hit me like a lightning bolt.
I made some calculations in my head. I was late by at least a week. I felt sick at the thought of food. I was throwing up.
I told nothing to no one, but went to the drug store and bought every kind of pregnancy test they had.
And each one of them came back with the same positive result.
I was pregnant, and there was no denying it.
The other fact there was no denying—was that Brendan was the father of the child growing inside me. I created a Doherty.
I waited several days to tell Mom, not being able to work up the courage to do it.
Finally, a letter of acceptance arrived from my college of choice. Mom opened it and read it aloud, a single tear of joy slipped down her cheek as she read the words. I had done it. I was accepted into college.
But I cried too, and unlike Mom, I wasn’t crying happy tears. I felt nothing to be joyful or proud about. I was pregnant. I wouldn’t be able to go to college. The father of this child was a one-night-stand.
A guy I knew nothing about. Who had probably already forgotten about my existence.
Mom thought it was a joke at first. Then she cried, then she held me and said it would be all right. She had been in my place after all. She understood.
“You can do it, Rosalie. If I could do it, you can do it better,” Mom had said that day.
She never asked who the father was. Maybe she sensed I didn’t intend on discussing it. Petra went off to college and we lost touch.
And just like that, I never spoke of Brendan again. On a good day, I was able to completely forget him—even when I looked at Davey’s face.
But now he was there in my bed. Next to me.
It wasn’t going to last. I had to put an end to it.
Sixteen
Brendan
I woke up the next morning in Rosalie’s bed.
I didn’t usually wake up in someone else’s bed. It wasn’t my thing.
But when I opened my eyes and saw that I had my arms around her perfect naked body, it felt uncharacteristically good. I had no explanation for it besides that I actually liked this girl.
I watched her sleeping for a while. How peaceful she looked with her shining golden blonde hair spread around her face like a halo. She had glorious alabaster skin that made me want to lick her.
I remembered that night now, or at least fragments of it.
I was drawn to her because she was different from every other chick I knew. She was funny and beautiful. She underestimated herself; didn’t see what other people saw. And I took her to bed that night hoping that I would be able to see her again. But I never did.
Rosalie sighed in her sleep now, then her eyes fluttered open.
I noticed how thick and dark her eyelashes were, how beautiful they made her eyes look. She woke up and saw me hovering over her.
Before she could say anything, I leaned in to kiss her.
I planned to ask her out on an actual date. I wanted to see where this thing would lead. Planning a future with a girl wasn’t something I was experienced in, but this was the first time I considered it seriously.
But Rosalie immediately pulled away from the kiss.
Confusion and irritation flashed in her blue eyes. She sat up in bed with a jerk like she’d forgotten I was still in her apartment.
I thought things had changed the previous night. I thought I’d been able to convince her to leave the past in the past. I hoped there would be a chance for us to pick up where we left off four years ago.
“You have to go.” Those were her first words to me that morning.
“What? I don’t even get a good morning?” I snarled.
That pissed me off. She played hot and cold, and there was no way for me to predict how she would react to me the next minute. I was done chasing her around.
“Please, Brendan, just go,” she insisted.
I was usually the one doing the kicking out. It didn’t feel good having the roles reversed on me.
I was about to tell her she would regret it when we heard voices outside the bedroom door.
“Rosalie?”
“Mommy?”
There were two more people in the apartment now and one of them was definitely Davey.
Rosalie had jumped out of bed as quick as a flash. She was completely naked so I watched from my position in the bed while she rushed around the room trying to dress herself.
“Shit. That’s Mom. She didn’t tell me she was going to drop Davey off this early!” She was muttering to herself. Completely ignoring the fact that I was still there.
I gave her some space. She’d thrown on a pair of black skin-tight leggings and a thick yellow sweater. The only thing I wanted to do was pull her back into bed and peel those clothes off her again.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
My voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she looked at me, a little alarmed.
“Nothing. Please. I don’t want you to do anything. That would be great.”
“Your son is eventually going to find out about me, Rosalie. Don’t you think it would make sense if you just came clean about me spending the night here?”
Her nostrils flared with anger. I noticed how she had clenched her hands into fists.
“Please don’t feel the need to lecture me on how I should parent my kid,” she snapped.
“I’m not telling you what to do.”
“There is no way you know what is best for my son. I’m his mother.”
“I’m not denying it.”
We heard more voices outside. It sounded like someone returned to the bedroom door. There was a sharp knock and then a woman’s voice.
“Rosa, honey? You up? I’m going to have to go to work.”
“Just a minute, Mom. Can you give Davey some cereal and I’ll be out in five minutes,” Rosalie shouted.
Then she turned to face me again.
I decided not to say anything more. She had clearly made up her mind about me, and nothing I said that involved her son, would convince her to think differently.
“I don’t expect you or any man to be able to give my son what he needs,” she continued.
My eyes narrowed. I wasn’t sure exactly what she was talking about. I wasn’t following her train of thought anymore. This had clearly suddenly gotten personal to her.
“And the last thing I want for Davey, is to be disappointed by you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I growled.
She weaved her fingers through her tousled hair in a last-ditch attempt to smoothen her bedhead. It kinda worked. It masked the fact that we had sex the previous night.
“Just stay in here. I’ll let you know when the coast is clear. I don’t want my son interacting with you.”
“Because you think I’m going to disappoint him?” I asked, still confused.
She didn’t bother explaining it to me, but quickly left the room.
I sank back in the bed, rubbing a hand over my face. This was not how I expected the morning to go. How the hell had I landed myself in this pile of crap?
Seventeen
Rosalie
“Is everything okay, honey? You look a bit…tired,” Mom said when I emerged from the bedroom.
Davey sat at the kitchen table playing with the bowl of cereal in front of him. He wasn’t interested in it, and when he saw me, he came running into my arms.
I picked him up and gave him a kiss. I’d missed him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired. You know, work,” I replied to my mother.
“I’m sorry, honey. I got a call from work and they want me to come in early or else I would have taken Davey to kindergarten.”
“It’s okay, Mom. You can go now. I’ve got it from here,” I said. Davey clung to my neck lovingly and I smiled at him.
I was self conscious of the fact that there was a man in my bedroom while the rest of my family stood in the kitchen completely unaware of this fact. More importantly, the man in my bed right then was the father of my son. Neither Davey nor my mom were aware of it.
“Yeah, I’m going to make myself a coffee first,” Mom said.
“You can get a coffee on the way, can’t you?”
She looked at me with a scrunched up face.
“I could…do you want me to leave?”
I felt bad when she looked disappointed.
“No Mom, that isn’t what I meant. I have to get ready and get Davey ready for school.”
“I’ve got him ready. Cleaned and brushed and changed.” Mom gave Davey a wink and he giggled back at her.
I ran out of excuses to get my mother to leave. The longer she stood there, the more guilty I felt.
“Good morning.” I heard Brendan’s voice behind me and my heart stopped. Mom stared past me at the kitchen door and Davey looked curiously over my shoulder. Slowly, I turned around to face him.
I’d told him specifically to stay in the room until the coast was clear.
He did this on purpose. He wanted to defy my wishes. He wanted to prove to me that I could never tell him what to do.
“Oh. Hi?” Mom looked completely shocked. She had never seen a man in my apartment. She was quickly putting two-and-two together. She knew I had spent the night with him.
“Hello Davey,” Brendan said to my son. I held him tighter and closer. I was suddenly very afraid that everything would unravel. That everyone in the room would find out the truth about Davey’s paternity.
“You’re Mommy’s friend,” Davey said.
That made Brendan smile and he nodded.