by Skye,Marie
“It was hot.”
“It was embarrassing,” I countered.
“Why?”
I squirmed beneath him, but he wasn’t easing up any time soon. “Because I…didn’t know I could do…” He raised his eyebrows at me. “That!”
He chuckled, obviously amused at the fact that I wouldn’t even say it.
“You mean squirt?”
“Grayson!” I hissed, looking around the room, which was silly since we were the only ones in there. He laughed into my neck.
“Baby. It was hot. Besides, it’s not like I told you to piss in my mouth.”
I looked up at him with disgust. “People actually do that?”
He gave me a wicked smile. “There are several wet rooms at Tesh. People are into it. It’s not my cup of tea, no pun intended.” I frowned, and he continued. “But baby, you squirting was so fucking hot. I wanted to bathe in it.” He placed his knee between my legs, spreading me.
“You’re disgusting.” He started nuzzling my neck as he lined himself up against my slit.
“No, I’m just thinking of ways I can do that each and every time.” He slid in, and my breath caught. “When you walked in here, you said I make you come ‘so fucking hard’, and I believe I made you come ‘so fucking hard’ last night, you probably forgot your own fucking name.” I pushed him back until I was on top of him.
“There was one thing we forgot.” I smiled as I shimmied down the rest of his body.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Emmalin
As we got closer to Grayson’s parent’s house, I felt myself getting nervous. They had seemed fine the night before, but that was all casual, not to mention we had only been together for a few minutes. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Meredith since our little chat when she had come to my apartment. I actually hadn’t spoken to any of them since the supposed robbery, aside from the pleasantries the day before.
“You okay?” Grayson’s hand tightened in mine, drawing my attention from the window.
“Yeah.” I exhaled sharply. “No. I think I’m freaking out a little bit actually.” He slowed down the car a little bit.
“Talk to me.”
“I’m really nervous to be around your family. I don’t know what they must think of me, or if they even still like me.”
“Well, they don’t like you; you’re right about that. They love you.” Grayson flashed me a smile, but of course that did nothing to calm my nerves. He saw the apprehension in my face and frowned before slowing the car all the way down and finally pulling over. “Okay, what else is bothering you?”
I gazed out the window again. “I don’t know, I’m just…I don’t know Grayson. I don’t want them thinking…” Crap. I didn’t know what I was trying to say. I had no clue why I was so worried, or why I was having a complete meltdown. I knew I had to face them sooner or later. I thought maybe I was feeling like I had betrayed them somehow. Grayson’s touch brought me back from my thoughts.
“Is it about the kidnapping?” I shrugged. Had I let his family down because, after all, I had been the reason Abby was almost killed? Yeah, that could’ve been part of it.
“I’ll make it easier for you. I can bring her down here and make her watch us, I can kill her right in front of you, or I can simply fuck you. Which is it?”
I wasn’t going to let him hurt Abby. I wasn’t going to let him touch one hair on Abby’s head. I would sell my soul to the devil himself, and I was about to. I shut my eyes as his grip on my hair tightened. If I told him this, he would leave her alone. He could do whatever he wanted with me, as long as he left her alone. I wouldn’t fight him. I promised not to fight him, just as long as he left her alone.
“Do whatever you want to me,” I finally choked out.
“Emmalin? Emmalin?” I felt my shoulders being jerked and my eyes shot open. Grayson’s eyes were penetrating mine. He shook his head. “Stop it, dammit. I know what you’re doing. Get out of your head! You are not going down that road again. It’s over.” He pulled me to him. “Breathe baby, breathe.” He suddenly opened his car door and came around to my side, unbuckling my seatbelt and helping me out. “Let’s get you some fresh air. Focus on your breathing. Get it all out.” We walked up and down the side of the road, and he studied me closely; all the while, I focused on my heartbeat slowing down. “That’s right, focus on my voice. You’re not back there anymore. You’re surrounded by love, remember? Nod if you remember.” It took me a few seconds to nod. “Good girl. Thank you. You’re safe, always safe with me.”
I finally leaned against the car, and I took a deep breath. “I’m okay.”
He swore under his breath as he clutched me to him. “Don’t go down that road, okay? I won’t let you go down that road, not anymore.” He looked at me again before nodding and helping me back into the car. I was mad at myself for allowing that to happen. It was stupid. So, so damn stupid.
A few minutes later we pulled up to his parents’ house. I felt drunk with nervousness. “You’ll be fine, I promise.” I smiled. That was easy for him to say—they had to love him.
“Oh! You guys arrived just in time! Grayson, your father insisted on making three kinds of bacon.” Grayson laughed, going to his mother for a hug.
“I’m on vacation!” shouted a voice from the other room.
“Only three, Dad? I thought you would at least go for five. Live a little.”
“There’s sausage, too!” his father shouted back.
“Now you’re talking,” Grayson shouted back. I smiled as I stood near the door, bent down, and ruffled the ears of the dog lying there.
“Can I help you with anything Mrs. Mandrake?”
“Lorraine, please, and actually I was about to take this pitcher out on the terrace to Meredith, would you mind?” I was a bit hesitant as I stepped forward and took it from her.
“Sure.”
I watched as Grayson stole a piece of bacon and jived with his mom, then I went out to the terrace where Meredith was setting the table. “Hi. Your mom said you needed this.” She glanced up and smiled. “Yes, thank you, you can set it here.”
I sat it down and turned to leave, but she stopped me. “Emmalin, since we’re alone, would you mind if we had a chat?”
I nodded as I sat down. It was quiet for a moment. “I’m really glad you’re here. We all are.” She sighed. “God, you must think I’m a complete bitch.” My eyes shot up, and I saw there were tears in her eyes. “I had no right, and you…” Her voice cut off. She took one of the napkins and wiped her eyes before grabbing my hand and squeezing. “You are an amazing woman Emmalin. My brother is lucky to have you. This family is lucky to have you. You have the biggest heart, you’re kind, and our hearts will always be indebted to you.”
That’s when I realized…she knew. They all knew. She stood up and gave me a hug, squeezing me tight. I had two choices: I could return the hug, or I could go back into the house and lash out at Grayson about his entire family knowing the secret I didn’t want anyone knowing. I could lash out at my betrayal, or I could forget, because I was no longer shouldering the burden alone. My new family was helping me hold it together.
I returned the hug.
Chapter Thirty
Emmalin
“You’re glowing.”
I touched my face then immediately looked down at my lap.
“You’re also blushing.”
I turned away, trying to suppress a smile.
“I take it your weekend was good, and that going to Florida was a good idea?”
I turned my attention back to Dr. Adams and nodded. “It went well.”
He smirked. “I would say it went more than well. Care to divulge?”
I took a moment to gather my thoughts. “I originally wasn’t going to go. I debated getting on the plane to the point that I almost missed my flight.” Dr. Adams nodded. “But, I went, and didn’t have time to get a hotel, so I went straight to the performance center, luggage in hand and everything.” I took a deep breath.
“It started off a tad bit odd.”
Dr. Adams tilted his head. “In what way?”
“I was sitting far from everyone, in a corner. I honestly wanted to drop off my gift and then leave. Grayson’s father came up to me and said that the event was for friends and family only.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“I expected it, but I guess I felt a twinge of hurt from it. I stood up and apologized, and said I would leave. He then said that the section I was in was for friends only, and that I was family.”
I felt myself starting to tear up as I quickly wiped away a tear.
“How did that change your reaction?” Dr. Adams started writing in his tablet.
“I was stunned, shocked, flabbergasted, but most of all speechless.” I wiped away another errant tear.
“Something you do is automatically think people are going to reject you.”
I nodded. As usual, he was spot on.
He sat his tablet to the side and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “You are loved Emmalin. I know you don’t feel that way, but you are loved.”
I sat, thinking for a moment. “I don’t have a lot of people to love in my life. There was my mom, but now I question all that. I think at some point I loved her. If I was asked right now if I love her, I wouldn’t be able to give a straight answer. There was Tyler, who’s no longer here, and then there’s Grayson. I loved him, and I loved him hard. Then his family came into my life, and I loved them too.”
“Loved, or love?”
My eyes shot up at Dr. Adams. My eyes turned glassy, thinking about Grayson and his family. “I love them. I love Grayson.”
“And would you do anything for them?”
I balked at his words. I felt myself getting angry. “Of course, without hesitation.”
Dr. Adams smiled. “Now think about what you just told me. You love them and would do anything for them, no hesitation. You already did, Emmalin, and you’ve proven time and time again that you would do anything for that family. You risked your own life to protect Abby, and you didn’t even think twice about it. How’s that for spirituality? They are your family.”
My tears were flowing harder now. Damn him for being right.
“You just need to believe in yourself more. You are loved, so accept the fact that people love and care about you. It’s not going away any time soon.” He looked at his watch. “That’s all the time for us today. I think your therapy is about complete. I say we have two more sessions, but only if you need them.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Grayson
“Mr. Mandrake, am I reading this right? You’re un-canceling the charity event?”
“That’s what the memo says, Glenda.” She stood at the door, hesitating, and I finally looked up at her. “What is it?”
“Well, it’s just that, sir…you scheduled it for this weekend…as in five days from now.” I stared at her, waiting for her to continue. I didn’t know why it was so hard for her to comprehend. “Can we even get everything arranged and have invites sent out at the last minute?”
“Sure we can. If they come, great. If not, that’s not my problem. You’re wasting time by questioning me, Glenda.”
She appeared flustered for a bit then nodded and walked out. Yeah, I knew it was going to be a big issue, but I didn’t care. I was trying to re-establish normalcy now that Emmalin was back. The charity ball was normalcy for me, and I knew she would want to go…at least I hoped she did. I pulled out my phone.
Me: I would be honored if you accompanied me to the charity ball this weekend.
I stared at my phone, hating that she didn’t reply right away. She had this annoying habit of looking at her phone then forgetting to respond, and hours would go by before she remembered. I sat my phone down and sent a message to my tailor for a custom suit. There was a knock on my door.
“The charity ball is back on?”
I looked at Chace, irritated. People just kept asking the same question that had clearly been answered on the memo. “It is. Arrangements are being made now.”
He nodded as he plopped down in the chair in front of me. “How are things with Emmalin?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Did she talk to you?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t talked to her, but seeing how you’re now putting this charity ball back on and being less dickish than normal, it must’ve gone well. And…” He leaned forward, taking a sniff, and I frowned at him. “You smell like sex.” He winked at me.
“You’re disgusting.”
He chuckled, putting more ice cubes in his mouth. “I’m just calling you out.”
I relaxed against my chair, taking a deep breath. “It went well. I was hoping after that short time away, she would come back home, but she’s adamant about staying until the owner gets back.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I respect her decision, I just don’t like it. I need her here.” My phone dinged. Finally.
Emmalin: I would love to. I’m off early on Friday. Talk later?
Me: We better. Love you
“Well, I’m glad you guys are figuring your shit out. There’s no better person out there for you. She can do better though.”
I rolled my eyes. “Little shit. Speaking of people that can do better, how’s Isabella?”
He threw his head back, laughing. “We’re texting.”
“Whoa! Slow down there. I hope you’re using protection with all that texting. How’re your fingers?”
“It’s a start, man, so I’ll take it.” Chace stood up and stretched. “Well, I guess I better get a tux then. See ya later.”
I nodded as he left and went back to working. A few minutes later, my phone dinged.
Emmalin: ♥
Now, a normal person would’ve seen the heart and thought it was cute. I’m not your normal person. Seeing that heart symbol did nothing but piss me off.
Me: How early on Friday?
Emmalin: I’m off at 10 a.m. Why? Everything ok?
Me: I’m scheduling us to see Dr. Klein on Friday before dinner.
I watched as the screen showed she was typing. If she didn’t want to go, too bad. She was going. We both needed it.
Emmalin: Fine
I smirked. I knew she had way more to say than ‘fine.’ This being on ‘equal’ level was getting to me. Her need to hold on to this self-control was making me itch to spank it out of her. She was better controlled. My need to give her leeway had resulted in her hiding into herself and keeping Carson a secret way too damn long. It had caused us too much heartache, too much pain, and in the end, we both paid the price for it—her more so than me. I need her here. I decided seeing Dr. Klein before she got there to help me straighten out my shit was probably going to be best.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Grayson
“Great to see you again, Grayson. It’s been a while.”
I sighed. Of course he was going to call me out on my shit. “Yes, it has been, but I’m here now.”
He silently laughed as he assessed me. “So, why don’t you tell me what’s been going on since the last time we spoke. Last I heard, you and Emmalin were finally settling into a routine, but according to tabloids, things have changed.”
I swallowed the bitter pill, trying to decide where to start. “Yeah, a lot has changed over the past few months.” I shut my eyes, going back to that last day when she had stared at me with her big green eyes, tears threatening to spill over as she stood there and told me she was giving me a new life then walked out the damn door.
“Start at the beginning, Grayson.”
I took another deep breath. “She left. We had been working through everything that had happened with Carson. We were getting through it—slowly, but getting through it. Some days we were two steps forward. Other days we were ten steps back, but we were getting there.” I leaned forward, bracing my elbows on my knees. “She started acting different, distancing herself. I should’ve picked up on it then. I
should’ve known something was up. She finally came to me one afternoon wanting to talk. She went on and on about how she couldn’t do it anymore. She’d been pretending, and she couldn’t stay. She had already packed up what she needed, and had a car waiting for her.”
“That had to be difficult for you to hear.”
I glared at Dr. Klein. “No shit. I was losing her. That was my life walking out the door. When she got in that car, I froze. I fucking froze, and that’s what kills me even to this day, because I let her get in that car and watched it drive away.”
“So, you’re angry at yourself for letting her get in the car?”
“Yes!” I stood up, suddenly needing to pace. “I did run out, but it was too late. The anger had already set in. All of a sudden I went from wanting to stop her to wanting to hate her in that very moment for giving up on us. I felt her reasons weren’t justified enough to give up on us.”
“You were angry Grayson. You just witnessed the woman you love walk out on you. That’s a pretty normal response.”
I nodded. “An hour went by before I did anything. Don’t even ask me what I did in that hour, because to this day, I don’t even know myself. When I finally came to my senses, the first thing I did was go to Chace’s house, because if she was going anywhere, I figured she would go to him.”
“You seem to not like that idea.”
“Fuck no, but if I trust her with anyone, it’s him. As much as I hate to admit it, he protects her, and I appreciate that. He would never hurt her, would never do anything to jeopardize their friendship.”
“So what happened when you went to see Chace?”
I leaned back in my chair, thinking about how that conversation had gone.