The door opened and closed. Footfalls faded into another part of the house. Silence returned, leaving nothing to distract from her frayed nerves and tormented spirit. While she may not have misplaced her mind for long, it hadn’t returned to her unscathed. She recognized then that she’d become what every well-meaning road trip naysayer had feared — a victim of circumstance. A statistic.
Angie buried her face in her pillow and sobbed.
Chapter 33
“Hey, these aren’t bad,” Elsie said, flipping through a stack of Angie’s freshly developed photos. “For coming from disposable cameras, I mean.” The willowy girl had draped herself backward over the arm of the living room sofa, hanging her upper body upside down while she examined the evidence of the road trip.
“Thanks, I think.” Angie answered from a worn armchair nearby. Arriving home only hours earlier, she’d first dropped off her cameras and had a brief conversation with her mother. She’d then attempted a fitful nap, which Elsie had mercifully interrupted with her arrival. Angie still felt tired and unsettled, but she was grateful for the company.
“Aww, what a dork.” Elsie crooned, holding up a picture of Scott. In it, he was seated in a meditative position on top of his pool table, glowering at the camera. “I can’t wait until he gets here. We need to come up with stuff to do while he’s around. I had an idea the other day, but we’re going to need twenty pounds of fireworks and a porta-potty.”
“That sounds…messy and illegal,” Angie said, darting her gaze away from Scott’s photo while forcing an amused smirk for her friend’s sake. A dull sense of astonishment descended over her as she considered how much her perspective had changed in the weeks since she’d taken that picture.
Elsie gave an exaggerated sigh. “That’s what my dad said. Blah blah blah…something about a burn permit…blah blah…the bail money is coming out of my college fund.” She flicked her wrist in a dismissive wave and perked up with renewed gusto. “Hey, how about driving us all to The Mall of America instead?”
Angie squirmed in her chair. “You might have to handle that yourself. Your cousin and I weren’t really getting along by the end there,” she replied.
Understatement of the century.
“Couldn’t you just play nice…for me?” Elsie whined in disappointment, grabbing up another stack of pictures to flip through. “Come on, you guys were getting along great over the phone. It can’t be -that- different.”
“It is, trust me.” Angie swallowed to ease the tight sensation gripping her throat. She wanted to tell her friend what had happened in Indiana — just as she’d wanted to tell her mother, but she hadn’t found the words or the courage to do so. The need to tell someone had been gnawing at her all afternoon. But two things held her back like a tether: Embarrassment, and the overriding fear of being blamed.
Now, seeing Elsie’s eager anticipation over having her cousin in town, she had another reason to hesitate. The timing felt wrong. If she told her friend at all, it would have to be after Scott came and went. That left only one person she could talk to.
“So, is this the one you decided to keep?” Elsie asked. She paused her shuffling to hold out a picture of Grady.
“Nope.” Angie reached for the remaining stack and picked up the next image — a shot of Vince with his dog huddled beside him. She flipped it over to offer Elsie a long look, but then brought it in close to her own eyes to study the photo of the young man who’d chased her with such determination. A wistful smile touched her lips.
“Wow, he must have a stellar personality,” Elsie said.
“Hey—”
“Don’t go taking it wrong!” The other girl righted herself on the couch arm and held up a finger. “It’s nothing against him or anything. He just…looks like the kind of guy -I- would date. So I figure something about him must have really won you over.” Her pale eyes held a rare sincerity as she spoke.
Angie considered before nodding. “I gave him every reason to give up on me, and he wouldn’t.”
“Oh good, so he’s as stubborn as you are.” Elsie arranged her expression into a lopsided grin. “You think that’ll be enough?”
“There’s a lot more to it than that.” Angie got up from the chair and crossed the living room, plucking a padded envelope from atop a stack of mail on the kitchen counter. She returned to the chair and withdrew a small felt box along with a folded piece of paper. While she busied herself with the box, she handed Elsie the accompanying note to read.
My Angel,
I was feeling guilty about sending you home with nothing to remind you of your experiences here, save for a few pictures. Enclosed, you will find a box that holds something very precious. It is a symbol of love and a reminder that with you always are two who will carry you in the hard times, love you in the trying times, and comfort you in the sad times. You should know that you have made a great impact on my life, introducing God to me in ways I have never accepted him. This is something I will be eternally thankful for. Because of you, I know what happiness feels like. I don’t quite understand how it is that you found me or how I found you. But I don’t want to question it.
When all else fails, I hope that you will remember that I will always be there for you... and so will God. And I hope you will never forget you can talk with me about anything that troubles you. I will do everything in my power to make you happy, Angel. It’s the least I can do to repay you for the happiness you’ve brought me.
Love always,
Vincent
“Aww,” Elsie said. She handed the note back with a teasing look on her face. “Do you have a mint or something? I think I just threw up a little.”
Angie pulled off one of her flip-flops and poised herself threateningly.
Elsie squawked, holding her hands up in defense of her face. “I’m kidding!” She tipped over then, falling sidelong onto the couch cushions. Scrambling into an upright position, she bounced once playfully and held out an upturned palm in request. “Okay, okay. Let’s see it.”
Angie held up the delicate gold chain she’d just finished securing around her neck, allowing a simple cross pendant to dangle between her fingers.
Elsie leaned forward, peering at the necklace. “It’s…petite.”
“It’s perfect,” Angie insisted.
“Sure.” Elsie snickered. “Man, you both got it bad.” She sobered, drawing her legs up under her. “You sure this is such a good idea? He does live on the other side of the country.”
“I know it’ll be tough.” Angie leaned back in the plush chair, caressing the pendant between her thumb and forefinger. “I think I’ll know for sure if we can make it work after tonight,” she added, her mind drifting back into anxiety. As much as she longed to talk to Vince, she felt sure what she had to tell him could make or break their fledgling relationship. He would either believe her, or he would finally have a reason to change his mind. Unable to forgive her own poor judgment, she couldn’t see herself blaming him for the latter.
“You’re not going to end up moving to Dixieland, are you?” Elsie looked at her with some mixture of worry and disbelief.
Angie glanced to the other girl and formed a half smile. “I will if I need to.”
“Ugh,” Elsie’s nose crinkled in mock-disdain. “When did you turn into a romantic idealist?”
Angie chuckled. “Maybe I always have been. I just needed a good enough reason to admit it.”
The phone rang in the kitchen and Angie rocked to her feet, sensing herself divided between eagerness and apprehension. She looked over her shoulder once she’d gotten halfway to the kitchen. “If that’s him, you might want to head on home. We can do more catching up later.”
“Oh, I see how it is.” Elsie crossed her arms, wearing an offended look.
Angie wasn’t sure how seriously to take her friend, but as she fetched the phone, she decided not to think about it. She doubted her ability to deal with more than one endangered relationship at a time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Alright, I’m home now,” Vince said. His claim was corroborated by the sound of a car door closing in the background. “Will you please just tell me what’s wrong?”
Angie paced the floor of her bedroom, staring down at the path she’d worn in the deep blue carpet as she held the phone to her ear. She had put off anything but light conversation until she was sure that Vince was no longer driving. It was one less thing for her to worry about. “I will. Tell me when you get to your room.”
“I’m there now,” he said, on the heels of a short pause. He sounded nearly as uneasy as she felt.
“Just…sit down and listen, okay?” she said. “I promise I’ll try to tell you everything, but you have to let me get it out.”
Please, let him believe me.
“I’m sitting.”
Taking her own direction, Angie eased across her bed and sat with her back pressed to the wall as she began to fill in the gaps of the previous two days. She started with the argument on the morning she and Scott had left D.C., tediously explaining the reasoning behind the stop near Indianapolis and the shared hotel room. Vince made a throaty sound on occasion, but didn’t interrupt her telling.
When she finally made it to the part about waking up to being assaulted, her breath became quick and shallow. Resurfacing panic fluttered along the fringe of her mind. The description of the event poured out of her, faltering partway through. Before she could recollect herself to continue, Vince interjected.
“He raped you!?!” The roiling anger in his tone reverberated through the phone’s receiver.
Angie was stunned to hear the word she hadn’t allowed herself to form. That one awful word, her mind had refused to accept until that moment. “No.” She heard herself murmur in a detached voice. “But…almost. I suppose.” She wondered if Scott’s lack of success meant she should feel any less violated. “I hit him—really hard.” She went on, conveying the remaining details of that night.
Vince’s breath came low and ragged on the other end of the line. “You…didn’t call the police?”
A crushing sensation engulfed Angie’s heart. She’d confided everything in him, and now she was going to lose him. Naivety had never cost her so dearly. “Maybe I should have. I don’t know.” Her eyes stung. She didn’t bother to stop the tears from flowing. “He told me he did it in his sleep.”
“Bull$&*%!” Vince roared. “He knew exactly what he was trying to get away with.”
“You’re probably right.” Angie cringed, though she sensed his hostility was directed toward Scott alone. “But if I reported him, it would just be my word against his. They wouldn’t believe me after I put myself in that kind of…situation. They’d think—”
“It’s not your fault.” Vince broke in, tone softening.
“But, at least part of it is!” she cried, pulling her knees up until she could set her weary forehead against them. “He was my friend…I should have known better. I should have known -him- better. I never meant to hurt him or lead him on—” She gasped, losing control of her voice.
“Angel,” Vince’s voice came again, gentle and commanding. “There’s no excuse for it. He tried to take what didn’t belong to him. You can’t hold yourself responsible for that.”
Angie paused, thankful for his willingness to overlook her idiocy. She didn’t feel remotely deserving of it. “I just...I feel like I failed. I should have set a better example. I should have done so many things differently,” she said, shame clawing its way into her chest. Part of her knew her distress wasn’t rational — but it was there, regardless. “What if…he goes off to college and hurts another girl because I made him so frustrated?” she choked out.
“Stop. Listen to me,” Vince said, his tone slow and purposeful. “Please...please don’t cry, babe. You didn’t fail at anything—Scott did. He should have protected you. Even if that meant protecting you from himself.” Vince paused and then emphasized, “He failed—not you.”
“I’m sorry,” Angie whispered, biting her knee to muffle a sob. The conviction in Vince’s voice resonated with her as much as the words themselves. Together, they seemed to cut through the weighty veil of guilt. She felt both liberated, and somehow shielded by what he was trying to convey. It rang like truth.
How did he know to tell me that? she wondered in amazement. How could he know that’s exactly what I needed?
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Vince said. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you. I would have killed him.” His voice grew dangerously definite.
Angie believed him. Every word.
“Then, I’m glad you weren’t there. You’d be in prison right now,” she said, dragging in a steadying breath. As she tuned in to his breathing to gauge his emotional state, she heard the rapid clicking of a keyboard somewhere in the background. “What are you doing?”
“I’m looking up plane tickets,” Vince answered, factual in tone. “I can be there before Scott gets into town. If he tries to so much as get near you again, I’m taking a baseball bat to his kneecaps.”
“That’s really not necessary,” Angie protested, unsure whether she should be flattered or appalled. Her heart was leaning toward flattered. “He’ll be with Elsie the whole time. And besides, I don’t want you flying up here all bent on violence. When you do come up…I want it to be so you can meet my parents.” Even as she said it, she realized how much she meant it.
Vince fell silent at length. “You want me to meet them?” He sounded caught off-guard.
“Of course I do.” Angie wiped at her damp cheeks with her free palm, feeling herself lighten. “But I want you to plan it out so you don’t get yourself in trouble at work or school. And you might want to wait a couple of weeks, that way we can work around my last semester and space out our visits,” she said, deliberating aloud. “We could alternate. I’ll save up some money and fly down over Thanksgiving—”
“You’re smiling,” Vince said, his voice regaining much of its usual calm and warmth.
“Yes.” She closed her eyes, picturing his face and the pleased expression she knew he wore. A calm sense of assurance settled over her. “I think we can make this work, if you’re still up for it.”
The silence on Vince’s end extended long enough to cause her concern. When he spoke again, it was with great care. “No matter the time, no matter the place, I’ll always be there for you. I’ll be waiting. Even though I’m 20 hours away—I don’t care if I’m 200 hours away. My heart and soul are there with you. So just keep smiling, babe.” His words came rhythmic and laden with certainty. “I love you.”
Angie felt the overspill of tears return, but this time for a very different reason. She left them untouched to slide down her face and fall against her knees. “Vince?”
“Yeah, Angel?”
“I love you, too.”
Epilogue
October 2,
It’s been almost two months since my expedition into the real world came to an end. Looking back on it, I’m not sure I accomplished what I set out to do. Bad things happened. Amazing things happened. I hurt, and I healed. For a little while I was brave. I didn’t find myself all at once or anything so simple, but I did find a few pieces of me along the way…jagged, mixed-up pieces that are starting to fit together and form a shape I hadn’t expected. I also found a few things I didn’t know I was looking for. And ultimately, I think I’ve decided how I’m going to start the next chapter in my life.
It’s amazing how much has changed in just a few months. I’m stronger now; and so is my faith. Hopefully I’m a little wiser too, but that’s up for debate. I still don’t know what I want to do with myself career-wise, but I think I’m finally okay with that. What I do isn’t who I am; I’ve figured that much out at least. As for ‘finding myself’…well, I suspect that’s something I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. And I’m okay with that too. I may not know exactly where I’m going, but I’m pretty sure I’ve found a traveling companion for the rest of my life’s
journey. Okay, so maybe ‘found’ isn’t quite the right word for it. He kind of…followed me home.
I’m sitting at the airport right now, waiting for Vince’s plane to de-board. If I were any more excited someone would probably have to call security on me. Suffice it to say, we’re doing well in spite of the distance. Most nights we talk for hours and end up falling asleep on the phone. Yeah, we’re that sappy. I guess it’s strange I’ve gotten to know someone and their personality so completely without being able to see them in person. But in a way, I think we have a huge advantage. We’ve already discussed everything that’s remotely important to us and hashed out our differences in perspective and background; all without the distractions that most couples face. It hasn’t been easy and we’ve still got a long way to go…but it’s been more than worth it.
So, it looks like the end of my first big adventure is turning into the beginning of a new one. The plot of my life is still being written. And fortunately, I’m just a co-author. I’m pretty sure it’s more interesting this way.
Mileage Log Total: 6,832 mi.
Bonus Tally: 1 awesome boyfriend, a dash of personal growth, and one heck of a story to tell one day.
~Ang
Acknowledgments
Innumerable thanks to God for keeping me alive, giving me purpose, and loving me in spite of myself.
Thanks also to my RWA sisters (the HOD, MCRW, and Southern Magic chapters) for the years of encouragement, critiquing, and camaraderie.
I want to thank Katherine “Kitten” DeVoe and Patience Holloway, my sprightly sisters in spirit. You’ve helped me walk this path in more ways than I could imagine.
Many thanks to Courtney Wichtendahl, for your OCD-induced excellence and most especially for your friendship over the years.
Thank you to the illustrious C.J. Redwine, for your query-ninja skills, relentless support, and all-around awesomeness.
Once Upon A Road Trip Page 44