Her phone buzzed with a text message. She sighed and pushed up to retrieve her phone. I’m here for you.
She typed back: Ok. Thx, Jesse.
Thank me in person. Open the door.
Belinda pushed off the bed and hurried to the door.
“What are you doing here?” She looked at him and then over his shoulder. “Is something wrong?” She couldn’t help sounding so confused.
“I’m fine. Checking in with you.” He stepped past her before she remembered to show a bit of hospitality.
“Checking on me? Why?”
“Figured you might be down. Wasn’t sure how the meeting went with your friend...Maritza?”
“You know? How?” Belinda wished the fog would clear from her mind. After a trying day, she couldn’t make sense of anything.
Jesse pulled her into his chest. “Don’t get mad. Fiona called me, told me about Maritza, about how upset you were. That you were going to talk to your friend. But they hadn’t heard from you.”
“They kept calling. Pushing.” Now it was her time to push, as she stepped away from Jesse’s embrace. “I don’t know what they expected.”
“They wanted you to reach out to your friend—”
“Stop it. Just stop.” She turned and walked into her bedroom. “The soft touch...whispery talk. I’m not a patient.” Then she turned on him as the impact of what they’d done sank in. “It was none of your business.” She sat on the edge of the bed.
Despite her harsh behavior, Jesse didn’t leave. Instead, he slowly walked into the room without talking. For a few seconds, he stood, as if waiting for a read on her. She kept her eyes downcast on her hands, although she could also see his feet. “You helped me to forgive myself with Diego. I want to help you with your friend.”
Her anger melted. “Maritza and I were close. Like sisters. The car accident wouldn’t have happened if I had taken over the driving, like we’d planned. Instead, I let her do a double shift because I was tired, and so was she. And, well, I walked away. She didn’t.”
Jesse sat next to her. Gently he took her hand and held it between his.
“I went to the hospital every day. When she could talk, she didn’t want to talk to me.” She looked up at him. “I was all right with that. More than our bodies got banged up that day.”
“Regardless of the past, you are doing what’s right with the riding center. That counts for something.”
Belinda sighed. “I had stopped visiting. I grew tired of being turned away because she didn’t want to see me. But I didn’t know when she was being discharged. When the guilt got to be too much, I went to visit, determined to see her regardless of what she said. Too late, she was discharged. Then I went to her parents. They wouldn’t let me in.”
“Oh, baby, sounds like everyone was hurting.”
“Everyone blamed me.”
“Yourself included?” He kissed her softly on the head.
“Just because Fiona and Dana got involved with stuff that didn’t concern them, I’m supposed to do something about it.”
“You don’t have to.”
Belinda took a deep breath and exhaled. She scooted back onto the bed and resumed her original position she had occupied before Jesse arrived. “I’ll think about it.”
His hand rested on her foot, stroking the slope leading up to her ankle.
“I can’t be on someone’s schedule. Just can’t.” Seeing Maritza wasn’t the problem. It never was. Her rejection was the stab wound that hadn’t healed. The best way to avoid that door slamming in her face was not to put herself in the same position.
Jesse scooted up alongside her. “You’ll know when the time is right for you. Speaking from experience. It’s a moment that you have to determine.”
“When did you get cozy with my cousins?”
“Fiona called me. I thought you gave her my number.”
“Good heavens, no.”
“She called. Grilled me. Threatened and then—”
“Threatened?” Belinda propped herself on her elbow. She didn’t know if she should wring Fiona’s neck or hug her for being the overprotective cousin.
“Let’s see. She said that she was a detective and knew how to hide bodies. That Grace could fund any size manhunt if I should harm you. And Dana added her input that she could destroy me in the media.” Jesse kissed her breast. “If I had any inclination to the dark side, I think they scared me straight.”
“After she threatened you, what happened?”
“Then she told me that you had some heavy stuff to deal with regarding Maritza. I didn’t ask any questions. I’d rather hear it from you. But when she suggested that I come and check in on you, I didn’t object at all.”
“Glad you came over. I’m impressed by your sensitive side. Makes me like you more.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “Sometimes it’s buried from lack of use. But it’s my pleasure.”
Belinda closed her eyes and surrendered to Jesse’s touch that magically stroked away the worry.
Chapter 10
Friday morning rolled in with a sonic fury. A series of thunderclaps snapped Belinda awake. Her heart raced as her foggy brain tried to figure out what happened. Jagged streaks of lightning lit up the gray morning. Another crash of thunder blasted away any sleepy remnants of confusion. Her hand blindly reached behind her for Jesse. No one was there. Empty, cold sheets gathered under her fingers.
She cracked an eyelid open to peer at the clock. Ten o’clock! She bolted up and grabbed her phone. It lay silent and dark. It was dead because she forgot to hook it up to the charger. After it got some juice, she saw that Tawny and Fiona had called. Her mouth pursed with a curse ready to spring. A night’s sleep hadn’t erased her indignation over what her cousins had done.
Finally, Belinda mustered enough energy to get out of bed. When she finally listened to Tawny’s voice message, it was her assistant reminding her that she was taking the day off. Luckily, there were no appointments, but she could be happy that three clients had signed up. With her total customer roll hovering at fifteen, she considered it a good start. Now Jesse had to pull through with an on-time delivery. One thing was for sure—he could deliver on time, every time, in her bed. She smiled and drew the bed linens around her, enjoying the lingering smell of him and their passionate night.
Still, he hadn’t shared what was on his mind. He’d lowered the fence for her and her problems, but remained quietly troubled by whatever kept that sadness in place in his body. Taking one day at a time, she had to trust that he would see her in the light of a best friend, confidante, his personal cheerleader.
She’d made headway with the paperwork she needed filed when there was a knock at the office door. Since Tawny wasn’t there, and the workers weren’t in earshot, she’d locked the entrance to give herself peace of mind. Besides, Tawny had said there were no appointments.
The security monitor showed Dana pacing in front of the entrance. Belinda stared at it for a few seconds, debating her cousin’s entry and enjoying Dana’s impatience.
Finally, she opened the door. “What do you want, Dana? I’m busy.”
“I came to apologize.”
“A phone call would have sufficed. Even an email.” Belinda didn’t invite Dana to her office. She remained standing in the lobby area with her hip resting against the file cabinet.
Dana hung her head. Then she parked a coaxing smile on her face. “Hugs?”
“Come one step closer and I’m going to punch your arm.”
“What?” Dana straightened up and erased the smile. “Okay, so we overstepped. You don’t have to get hostile.”
“Why would you involve Jesse? That’s way beyond overstepping.”
“I like him. I think he’d be great for you. And...since it seemed that you had a falling out with
him, we thought that it would be a heroic thing for him to show up after you visited Maritza.”
“You’re going to make me cuss.” Belinda stared at her cousin. “Then I’m going to kick your behind.”
“I’m a CEO. I’ll call security on you.”
“Well, when you limp your silly butt back to your fancy car, you can call in the cavalry. I’m so mad that I’ll kick their behinds, too.” Belinda expected such high-handed behavior from her grandmother. But this level of manipulation from her cousins floored her. “And then...and then, to use Jesse to save me.” Now she had to walk in the small area. “Save me.”
Dana ignored her rant. “Did you go see Maritza?”
“No.”
“Instead of getting indignant about what I did...yes, you have all rights.” Dana retreated to the door when Belinda stopped her pacing. “Remember this was about the opening of the center. And her. And you. A friendship.”
The reminder was worse than Jesse’s reminder of what she’d done for him after he made up with Diego.
“It’s time. It’s long overdue.” Dana approached with arms outstretched. “And I can’t have my fave cousin be mad at me for one more minute.”
Belinda pulled her into a bear hug. For her ultimate revenge, she held her tightly and tousled Dana’s pinned-up hairdo before releasing her. “Okay, I feel better. Now get out of my office.”
“Now I’m going to have to go back to the hairdresser. You just don’t like to see people looking better than you and that old-fashioned ponytail.” Dana huffed her way out of the office. But their skirmish had evaporated under their laughter.
There was no way that she could return her attention to the work on her desk. She pulled out the paper with Maritza’s information and debated whether to call or show up. Both had their risks. At the moment, she was more focused on what could go wrong than what could go right.
Breakfast wasn’t on the agenda. After a sleepless night, and a slow roll out of bed, Belinda preferred sipping on herbal tea. If her stomach wasn’t so queasy, she’d opt for something stronger. Since her cousins had been chewed out, they weren’t going to jump at the chance to accompany her. And her stubborn nature wouldn’t allow her to ask them to come. Something else stopped her...a touch of fear.
Belinda sent a short note that morning to Maritza, as she sipped on herbal tea at her desk, and the note had not been answered. Instead of mailing it, she’d used the email address listed in the profile of the friend site.
Maritza, it’s been some time since we last saw each other. Hoping that I can meet with you soon. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Three sentences that took an hour and half to write, then another thirty minutes for her to reflect and keep her index finger close to the delete key.
She drained the cup of cooling tea. No more delays.
* * *
Jesse wasn’t the type to hunt down his women. On more than one occasion, he was the hunted as he dodged many clingy females. Those days had faded so far into the recesses of his past since he arrived, since he’d met Belinda, that he never once looked back or pined for those days. While he was ready to move ahead, the timing wasn’t right. Holding back, holding her off, until he figured out his life was the only path. It hurt like hell. But he’d done enough hurt and damage that his pain was nothing. That’s why he now lay in an empty bed staring at his phone, waiting for a response to his many calls and texts to Belinda.
His doorbell rang. He pulled on a T-shirt over his pajama bottoms and hurried to the door.
“Belinda, come in.” Jesse didn’t mean to sound so surprised.
“I know you didn’t expect me.”
“Ah...no, it’s okay. Make yourself comfortable.” Seeing Belinda at his door shocked the heck out of him. Although they were tentatively trying out the boyfriend-girlfriend scenario, she had only accepted his invitations to his home a few times. At first, he didn’t mind because it was convenient to have home and office on the same site when they wanted to shift things to a more intimate level. But now he wanted to be the one to entertain her on his turf.
He headed for the kitchen and pulled out water and a wine bottle. From her sudden appearance and markedly subdued attitude, he wasn’t sure which one was needed tonight. He grabbed two wineglasses on his way to the living room.
“Guess it’s a bit of surprise to see me here.”
He shrugged and set down his offerings on the glass-top table.
“Life is weird.” She took the water bottle.
He followed suit, waiting for an explanation to match the philosophical statement.
“Doing the right thing doesn’t guarantee any rewards.”
He waited.
“Making things right doesn’t guarantee any rewards.”
That statement, he could buy into.
“I visited Maritza.”
“Oh.” Now he set down the water bottle and filled a glass of wine for himself.
She looked up at him, the tears welling in her eyes. Her voice trembled with a breathy hitch.
Jesse squeezed into the single chair that she chose to sit in. He pulled her onto his lap. “Tell me what happened. You know that I would have gone with you.”
Belinda shook her head. “It’s too easy to lean on someone when this is all mine to handle.” She nuzzled his chin with its five o’clock shadow.
“Tell me about it.” This wasn’t the time to be stubborn and force her to understand that he was here for the good and the not-so-good, even though he was keeping his growing dilemma to himself. He pulled her closer to his chest and leaned his head toward hers. “Tell me about Maritza.”
Belinda closed her eyes, recalling what had recently transpired.
The Maritza she’d remembered in college wasn’t the Maritza who coolly regarded her while sitting on the large wraparound porch of her house. Her college friend had been a bundle of energy, life of the parties, who always had a crowd around her. She had talent, winning competitions in college. She had brains and plans to go to law school. She was beautiful, inside and out.
Now there was an older version, quiet and mature. The impulsive energy was gone or turned inward. Belinda hadn’t known what to expect. Part of her wanted her old friend back, before the accident, the way she remembered her.
It was a shock to pull up and see her there. She’d hoped to have time to compose herself at the door. Instead, what she’d wanted to say—her rehearsed speech—flew out of her mind.
Maritza had studied her with heavy suspicion before her face relaxed as recognition sunk in. Any courage that had stirred to life to get Belinda this far fled as her former friend coolly regarded her. Belinda had taken a retreating step when Maritza invited her to have a seat.
Belinda had started, I sent you an email.
I didn’t want to respond.
So I came...unannounced. She’d sat on the wide railing with one of the support beams at her back. Sorry. The apology had multiple uses, but at the time, Belinda had used it for the blindsided visit.
Not a problem.
I came...to find you. I wanted to invite you to... Belinda had wondered how everything that she’d planned to say had evaporated into the foggy mental mist. I created a riding school called Dreamweaver Riding Program for children with disabilities and challenges. Her voice had petered out and she’d cleared her throat to continue. The grand opening is in a month. And I’d like for you to be there.
I’m confused. Maritza had clasped her hands. What does this have to do with me?
Since the accident, I wanted to do something that could help children. Belinda had swallowed. You inspired me.
Maritza hadn’t responded. She’d kept her gaze fastened on the slats. Then she’d taken a long, deep breath. Still she’d remained silent, unnerving Belinda.
I woul
d love to invite you to the facility. To see what services the clients will receive.
Why would I want to see that?
It would be my way of saying sorry.
You could have said sorry many times. You could have done it at the hospital. At my home. When I was going to rehab. Although Maritza had spoken in a monotone, her words held enough anger to make a mark.
I reached out to you. I visited until I was told that you didn’t want visitors. I came to your house until your parents said that you weren’t coping well. The doctors said that you needed time to heal. Then I came back a month later and you were no longer living there. You and your parents were gone.
I wrote you.
I never got any letters. Belinda had sat next to her friend and tentatively taken her hand between hers. I wanted to find you. But then it sunk in that you didn’t want to be friends because of what I’d done.
Done?
I should have been the one driving.
Maritza had looked away toward the street. A car had pulled into the driveway. A man emerged and assisted two children out from the back. These are my husband and children.
Wow! Belinda had needed a moment to regroup. All this time, she’d thought that Maritza was suffering from her wounds, possibly unable to go on, struggling to find the positive side of things. And here, in front of her, she was seeing her husband, son and daughter.
I’ve moved on, Belinda. It’s clear that my parents manipulated us. They were angry and scared. You were the target. I’m sure that in feeling sorry for myself, I also blamed you. For that, I’m truly sorry.
After the brief introductions, Maritza had waited until her family went into the house. I’m happy, Belinda. I would say I forgive you, but that would mean that I felt you did something wrong. You most certainly did not. Then it had been Maritza’s turn to clasp Belinda’s hand. And you? Your family? Any children?
Belinda had shaken her head at each guess. All she’d focused on was the business and paying penance.
I think we can feel assured that neither of us owes the other a thing.
Belinda had nodded. Her throat felt thick, the lump in it rising, squeezing off the tears that were ready to fall.
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