“Um…since he apparently never actually ate a dog, I’m going to go with being renamed Cú Chulainn.”
Selena grabbed his arm and exclaimed, “His son! His only son. While training in Scotland, he had an affair with Aífe who gave birth to a son. Cú Chulainn gave her his ring to give to their child when he was older. When Connla left Scotland to find his father, he refused to identify himself and Cú Chulainn killed him thinking he meant to invade. After killing him, Cú Chulainn discovered his ring on the young man’s body and realized Connla was his son. Aífe was supposedly a warrior, but what if she was really a goddess—one who was able to put a prohibition on any sons of Cú Chulainn’s descendants from becoming gods?”
“That’s a lot of maybes,” Cameron answered smartly.
“Is this goddess still around?” Alison asked. “I’m more concerned with finding a way to ensure my caring, silly boy remains my caring, silly boy.”
“Mom,” Cameron groaned. “I haven’t been a boy in like ten years.”
Selena smiled at his mother and ignored him. “That’s all I care about, too. But figuring out who’s responsible for this geis is…”
A knock on the open door prevented her from finishing that sentence. It seemed like no one could finish a sentence anymore without someone interrupting. Cameron flashed his mom one last apologetic glance but couldn’t turn around to face the goddess who had sought him out again. “Macha…earlier…”
“Forget it,” she said. “I’m here because you’ve apparently forgotten that Jasper needs our help.”
“Why?” Cameron complained. “There isn’t a New Pantheon anymore. What could he possibly be doing to get himself in so much trouble?”
“Looking for Huitzilopochtli,” Macha replied.
“That’ll do it,” Selena said smartly.
Cameron gave up and turned around. “First of all, I thought he was in D.C. trying to convince the human assholes to let us non-human assholes help them. And secondly, is he missing his heart now? Because I’m pretty sure not even Selena can heal that injury.”
“What was he thinking?” Selena demanded. “Even Cameron hasn’t gone after Huitzilopochtli alone.”
“I never said he’d been captured by Huitzilopochtli or his army. And he’s not alone,” Macha clarified. “A few of his agents, including London, went with him.”
“But London was with us in Austin and that wasn’t even a day ago!” Cameron protested.
Macha shot him a “You’re a stupid and obnoxious asshole” look before focusing on Selena. “Time passes differently on Earth. And they’re in the Basin. Thor and Tyr are ready. I think Magni is coming, too. And, of course, Athena and Ares.”
“Great,” Cameron sighed. “The Avengers have assembled again.”
“Admit it,” Selena teased. “You secretly want to be an Avenger.”
“Technically, I secretly want Iron Man’s money, although the arsenal of badass suits would be pretty cool, too.”
Selena nodded in complete smartass agreement. “Iron Man’s suits would probably come in handy when battling giant mythological snakes.”
Macha groaned and grabbed Selena’s arm to drag her out of the room. “If I kidnap you, I know Cameron will follow. And apparently, that’s what it takes to get you both to shut up.”
“Technically,” Cameron said again, “it’s really just me.”
“Believe me,” Macha responded, “we all know.”
Selena lifted a shoulder at him and shot him a sly smile. “See you in the Basin, love.”
Cameron groaned, too, and mumbled, “There’s gonna be snakes.”
Alison hugged him quickly and told him, “Maybe. But I know there’s nothing in any world that can defeat you. And I knew that before you even became a god.”
Cameron smiled at his mother and glanced in his father’s direction, who refused to look at him. Brent kept his focus on the now empty doorway, his jaw set tightly and his expression promising that he was ready for his son to leave.
“If you know something about this geis,” Cameron snapped, “and you’re too damn stubborn to tell me how to save myself, then you’re not the man I thought you were.”
“I don’t know anything about your curse,” Brent snapped back. “Whatever it is, you’ve brought it on yourself because that’s part of being a god. And it’s not my fault you refused to listen to me.”
“No,” Cameron agreed. “It’s not. It’s only your fault that you never deserved the help I’ve tried to give you. When this is all over, I never want to see you again.”
“Cameron,” Alison whispered, but it was too late: He joined his friends in the Basin, only vaguely realizing that the more he lost himself, the more likely it would be that he’d lose them all as well.
Chapter Nine
Jasper arched an eyebrow at him and asked, “What took you so long?”
“Why are you even here, dumbass?” Cameron asked back.
“Because this is where all the gods trying to take over the world are hanging out, dumbass!” Jasper shot back.
“Giant snakes,” Cameron reminded him.
“They’re your problem,” Jasper said.
“I’m not okay with giant snakes either,” Thor interjected.
“Then they’re his problem, too,” Jasper added.
“You are an obnoxious asshole,” Thor told him.
Jasper shrugged and waved a hand irritably at the marshy land around them. “I think your escaped convict is here. London sensed him briefly, but he’s being masked again now.”
“Yeah, he’s still here,” Cameron said. “But I still can’t summon these bastards. I really want to know how they’re preventing me from doing that.”
“I still want to know how you’re able to sense gods who are trying to mask themselves,” Nemain replied.
“Don’t bother asking,” Thor answered her. “He never knows what he’s doing.”
“I never know how I do what I do,” Cameron corrected.
Thor shrugged and smiled at his young friend. “Close enough.”
“Um…” Selena stammered. “I’m not sure who else is here, but I’m pretty sure these aren’t just gods about to attack us.”
“See?” Cameron exclaimed. “Giant snakes!”
“Is it too late to quit this Guardian gig?” Thor asked.
“Nope,” Cameron answered. “Need any help building New Asgard?”
Thor nodded seriously and scratched at his chin. “I’m thinking someone needs to find a new cave for Loki, right?”
“And I don’t think there are any decent caves for binding gods in Louisiana,” Cameron added. “We’re definitely in the wrong state.”
“We should go look in Norway,” Thor agreed.
The other Guardians and Jasper sighed irritably, but Jasper lost his patience first. “You know what?” he said. “I changed my mind. We don’t need your help after all.”
“Good call,” Macha agreed.
“Don’t think it matters,” Selena interjected. “Because whatever we’ve sensed is already here.”
Cameron squinted at the thick grove of trees that shook and trembled as hummingbirds erupted from the forest as if the leaves themselves had come to life.
“Oh,” Thor said. “So we’re doing the thing with the hummingbirds again.”
“Fire igloo?” Cameron asked.
“Why are we being attacked by hummingbirds?” Jasper shouted.
Cameron grunted at him and ignited a dome of fire above them. “Dude, you’re the head of the New Pantheon. You need to fire your entire intelligence department.”
“There isn’t a New Pantheon anymore,” Jasper reminded him. “You gonna explain the tiny birds and fire igloo or should I just ask London? Never mind. Forgot who I was talking to. London, what the hell is going on?”
London gestured to the fiery ceiling above them and explained, “The hummingbirds are Huitzilopochtli’s dead warriors. The fire is because there are literally thousands of dead Aztec warriors
out there trapped within tiny bird bodies and aside from burning them, there’s not much else we can do.”
“This is absurd,” Jasper muttered. “And I’ve been in some really absurd situations since being forced into helping all of you.” He quickly glanced in Athena’s direction whose “Keep it up, asshole,” expression made him shut up and pout silently instead.
“Last time, Selena and I forced them to retreat,” Cameron offered. “We can try it again.”
Ares nodded and pointed his spear toward one of the walls of fire, but the sudden appearance of a god inside their protective igloo forced all of them to stare stupidly at the unexpected arrival of the Norse trickster god.
Cameron blinked at him then reached out toward his face. His fingers brushed against Loki’s cheek who blinked stupidly back at him.
“What the hell are you doing?” Loki asked.
“Um…to be honest, I thought you were one of your apparitions, but apparently not. And now, this is really just kinda weird and awkward.”
Loki arched an eyebrow at him and retorted, “So you can probably stop then.”
Tyr growled and stepped closer to the god of mischief who had been busily causing a great deal of mischief.
“Wait, old friend,” Thor cautioned Tyr. “This has to be a trick.”
Loki held up his hands and innocently insisted, “No trick this time. My end of the bargain with Huitzilopochtli was simply my freedom in exchange for helping to bring the Irish sun god and the healer to him. But if I had no allegiance to your father, what makes you think I have any to an Aztec god who will likely consider me a liability as soon as he has the world he wants?”
“You tried to kill me with a giant snake!” Cameron shouted. “I should totally smite you right now just for that!”
Loki waved a hand at him as if Fafnir had been a harmless prank. “You’re rather hung up on the past, aren’t you?”
“You tried to kill me with a giant snake!” Cameron yelled again.
“Loki,” Thor hissed. “What are you doing? If you’ve gotten yourself into trouble with Huitzilopochtli, you can’t seriously expect our help.”
Loki smiled at his former friend and tilted his head. “Can’t I, old friend?”
Cameron shot Selena a “What the hell is this crazy god up to now?” look and Selena returned it with a “Probably something crazy” look.
“Uh, Loki,” Selena tried. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been chasing you for almost two months to get you back in your cave.”
“Aha!” Loki exclaimed, holding up a finger as if Selena had just explained his puzzling presence to all of the gods and demigod who continued to gape at him. “And why do you want me back in that…” He paused and wrinkled his nose before spitting out, “Cave.”
“Okay,” Cameron decided. “He’s just pissing me off. I’m torching him along with all of the creepy-ass warrior birds.”
Loki’s smile widened and he held up his hands. “Go ahead, Son of Danu. Or let your fire die. After all, it’s not you Huitzilopochtli is after this time.”
“Ragnarok,” Selena breathed.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Cameron mumbled.
Loki laughed, that eerie sound of the deranged, and his wild eyes shifted to Thor. “Apparently, he didn’t appreciate some of my recent…antics.”
“Oh my God,” Thor groaned.
“Which god?” Cameron asked. “Him or Huitzilopochtli?”
Thor sighed and scratched at his chin again as he thought about his answer. “Him,” he decided, pointing to Loki. “This is mostly his fault anyway.”
“Can’t say I blame Huitzilopochtli,” London added helpfully.
“Oh, come on,” Jasper complained. “We’re not seriously going to help this asshole, are we?”
“What choice do we have?” Selena shot back. “If we let Huitzilopochtli kill him, we can’t stop Ragnarok.”
“True,” Cameron acknowledged. “But I can stick his creepy-ass crazy self back in a cave right now.”
“You could,” Loki agreed. “But then again…who would help you find Huitzilopochtli?”
Cameron snickered and lifted a shoulder at him. “I don’t need your help. I already know he’s here, which is why we’re being attacked by mini-birds and standing inside a fire igloo.”
“Is he?” Loki responded.
“I’m getting really tired of you answering our questions with a question,” Cameron snapped. “No one is allowed to tell me I’m the most annoying god in the world anymore.”
“Well, yeah,” Jasper said. “But you’ve been beaten out by Loki. That’s not exactly an accomplishment.”
Cameron glanced over his shoulder at the Greek demigod and jabbed a finger at him. “I will smite you.”
“No, you won’t,” Jasper argued. “Selena won’t let you.”
“Yep,” Selena agreed. “Still not letting you smite our allies, love.”
“Loki’s still here,” London reminded them.
“Because I’m not allowed to smite him either,” Cameron complained.
“Ragnarok,” Selena sighed.
“Dating Cameron is excellent preparation for the child you’re about to have,” London pointed out.
Selena nodded and patted his back. “It is really thoughtful of you to prepare me like this.”
Loki’s eyes darted among the bantering gods and he finally interrupted them. “I’ve changed my mind. I’ll take my chances with Huitzilopochtli.”
“Not letting you leave,” Cameron told him.
Loki sighed, too, and crossed his arms defiantly. “Why not?”
“You killed people!” Cameron exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
“Pranks,” Loki explained. “Not my fault none of you have a sense of humor.”
“Hey,” Cameron shot back, “I have a great sense of humor that doesn’t involve murder.”
Loki shrugged in response.
“That’s it,” Cameron decided. “Bring me another of his freak kids. I’m killing it so I can rebind him.”
“Um…” Thor stammered. “I really don’t want to face off with Jörmungandr just yet.”
“Right,” Cameron sighed. “Any other freakish offspring still alive?”
“Fenrir is still bound, but do you really think a monstrous wolf is any better?” Thor asked.
“Better than a monstrous snake?” Cameron asked. “Anything is better than a monstrous snake.”
“Conceded,” Thor agreed.
Cameron thought about it for a second then added, “Is it too late to find Sleipnir’s body and disembowel it?”
“Ew,” Selena interrupted. “And yeah…pretty sure that horse was completely turned to ash.”
“He totally deserved it,” Cameron responded.
“Loki’s still totally here,” London reminded them again.
“Right.” Cameron turned back to him and looked him over quickly. “So if Huitzilopochtli isn’t in the Basin, why are his hummingbird warriors here?”
As if to remind them all that the spirits of Aztec fighters were outside the fire igloo, several small birds dove into the dome above them, their deaths marked by the sizzling sound as their bodies hit Cameron’s flames. He tipped his face toward the fire and gestured toward the spot where one of the kamikaze hummingbirds had flown. “Why did their spirits have to become trapped in such tiny birds? If they were in like…turkeys or something, we could totally have lunch now.”
“That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” London told him.
Jasper nodded smartly and added, “And he’s said some remarkably stupid shit.”
“Don’t pretend like you weren’t thinking it, too,” Cameron snapped.
“I wasn’t,” Jasper claimed. “At all.”
“Me either,” London added helpfully. “I was actually thinking ‘How can I convince Selena to make her boyfriend shut up this time so we can all figure out what to do with Loki and get the hell out of the Atchafala
ya Basin?’”
Cameron glanced at Selena and said, “We need new friends.”
“We need to get Loki back in his cave,” Athena corrected.
“Too late,” Loki told her, sounding far too smug about it. “That cave has been destroyed.”
“Does it have to be that cave or will any cave work?” Cameron asked Thor.
Thor scratched at his chin for the third time and lifted an eyebrow at Tyr. “Any chance you remember the exact terms of the enchantment?”
“Um,” Tyr answered, “something about bonds…and Ragnarok.”
Cameron groaned and shook his head. “His escape literally triggers the end of the world and none of you thought to write down the exact terms of the contract?”
Thor stopped scratching at his chin and put his large hands on his hips instead. “That was millennia ago! Nobody wrote anything down then!”
“We did,” Athena supplied helpfully.
“Can I leave the fire igloo now?” Macha asked. “I think I’d rather fight the hummingbird army.”
Her sister nodded in agreement. “Not sure how to kill a bunch of birds with a sword, but I’m willing to find out.”
“I’m coming with you,” London quickly added.
“Driving more gods to suicide,” Jasper said, patting Cameron’s back. “Well done. Why doesn’t this ever work on the gods we’re trying to kill?”
“It does,” Loki mumbled. “He just won’t let me leave.”
More sizzling snapped their attention to the fire above them, but this time, it was accompanied by the sound of roaring winds outside. Cameron’s fire briefly flickered from the unexpected gusts, but the protective dome didn’t dissipate.
“Huh,” Cameron said. “We’ve Wikipediaed all of these bastards, right? None of them are wind gods. Did we miss someone?”
Loki exhaled heavily and rolled his eyes. “Serves you right for relying on a website for supernatural information.”
Cameron pointed a finger at him and warned, “Don’t criticize Wikipedia. What do you know anyway? You missed the entire internet revolution.”
Loki sighed again and turned toward Thor. “Can I go back to my cave now?”
“You destroyed it, dumbass,” Thor snapped.
Loki lifted his chin in the air and snapped back, “That was before I knew I’d be trapped with this annoying asshole.”
The Phantom Queen (The Guardians of Tara Book 3) Page 9