by Ivy McAdams
It wasn’t my fault we lost the baby. Either one of them. The doctor even confirmed it. These things just happen, he said.
But Andrew wouldn’t hear it.
He just snapped once we found out that I’d never be able to carry a child full-term.
A hitch of a sob lodges in my throat, but a sound behind me snatches my attention.
I turn to find the brown levadon trailing me, Xjhun perched high on his back. A mix of irritation and excitement bounces through my insides.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“Good morning to you too.”
I stop my backpedaling to regard him with a glare, a hand on my hip. “I can find the base from here.”
“You thought I would just head on back home if I woke up and you were gone?”
I hesitate but don’t answer.
“I am here to watch out for you on your journey. You are mine to protect.”
His possessive energy is strong enough to reach me even over the distance between us. It’s tantalizing and I want to wrap myself in it. But at the same time, it’s fucking infuriating.
"I belong to no one. Let alone some alien kid with grandiose daydreams of being a big-time warrior."
His eyes narrow, and he slides off the side of his levadon. He looks huge and alpha as hell as he strides toward me.
Oh, shit.
“I am no kid.” His voice is deep with warning, and I believe him. So do my awakening lady parts.
He stops just feet away from me. I can feel the heat of his body, and his energy is strong enough to bowl me over. He smells like campfire smoke and raw masculine musk.
“I may be the youngest in our warrior party,” he says, “but I am not inexperienced. I make up for any missing years in strength and stamina. I am a true Kutarian Warrior.”
The hard features of his face sharpen as he speaks. He’s intense, and good God, he’s lovely.
The rational part of my brain screams that I should be terrified of this huge, hulking alien speaking so forcefully at me, but all my squishy parts say they want more. He’s even more delectable when he’s angry.
My tongue feels as dry as sandpaper. But that doesn’t ease my sudden desire to run it over the hollow of his throat.
“I believe you,” I murmur.
He’s blown all the wind out of my sails. I don’t even remember what he’d said that made me so mad.
He stands silently for a moment before crossing his big arms over his even bigger chest and nods. “That you should. My skills are at your disposal. To use as you wish.”
One of his hands reaches between us and he cups my chin between his strong fingers. My body stirs to life, flaming deep in the pit of my abdomen as I recall the feeling of those fingers on some of my more sensitive parts.
“I will be sure you experience them all very soon.”
He’s giving me a wicked pair of bedroom eyes if I’ve ever seen them. Intense, dark, enough to turn me into a puddle.
A big, horny puddle of denial.
Thankfully he drops his fingers before he can feel me shiver.
“Now let’s get you to your base.”
He turns away to march off in the direction I’d been heading before, leaving me in a drunken stupor.
I’m so clouded by his bewitching that it takes me a few blinks to come back to reality. As he moves farther off and his energy waves ease up, I can focus better.
I was angry and determined earlier not to let him corner me, and I’m horrified to realize how easily he took me over. His sexy face. That scent. The strong pull of his energy that’s as convincing as his ghostly fingers on my body the night before.
I don’t stand a chance.
All I can do is mutely follow along behind him, watching the way the sides of his ass muscles move and flex beneath the edge of his loincloth.
I can handle this view for the rest of our journey, no problem.
Only Dino is a party crasher. When he comes loping up alongside us, I nearly lose my shit.
“Oh God!” I squeak.
Xjhun wheels around, eyes jumping from me to the levadon and back. Then a small smile crosses his lips.
Aw, come on. That’s so boyishly cute it’s sexy. I just can’t win.
“Don’t worry about Desian,” he says. “He won’t bite unless you piss him off.” He turns back to continue on, waving a dismissive hand over his shoulder. “And he’s already eaten today.”
I grimace at the animal, a sour feeling in my stomach.
So much for feeling on top of the clouds for the rest of our journey. My lady boner has been squashed.
I pick up the pace a little to get closer to Xjhun. May as well talk if I can’t enjoy staring at his ass.
"What kind of training do you do here anyway?" I ask. "I didn't see any equipment or obstacle courses or anything."
As it comes out of my mouth I realize how stupid it sounds, but I’m still curious.
Xjhun’s step slows and he lets me fall in line beside him. He’s a head taller than me even as a giant alien lady and the way his face tilts down just a fraction so he can observe me over his cheekbones is captivating.
“The warriors train together. Mostly combat. Tracking. Hunting. We specialize in killing stagni.”
I grimace, mostly for effect because I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“What are stagni?”
One of his brows lifts a little higher. “I believe you’ve met a stagni up close and personal. More so than many Kutarians.”
I blink at him as realization dawns. “Those ugly-ass bug things that attacked us?” I gag. “Disgusting, vile monsters. You hunt those things?”
“More like they hunt us. They’re the reason over half of our people are gone.”
Oh, damn. I have the urge to reach out a reassuring hand and pat his arm, but I think better of it. The way this body has been revving its little lady engine, it’s probably best not to touch him.
“I’m sorry,” I say instead. “They’re horrible creatures.”
“That they are. I’ve lost my entire family to them.”
Oh, damn and a half.
“That’s awful,” I murmur. I really have to fight the arm touching now. “I suppose it’s a good thing you have your warriors to keep you company then.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, cursing myself over how stupid I sound.
“I am lucky to have my brothers.”
"You are. My family are all still alive but haven't spoken to me in years. I feel like I don't even have a family most of the time."
Oh, man, sounding worse. Stop talking.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Have you been exiled?”
Damn. Harsh.
“Sorta, I guess. I’ve made some choices they don’t agree with.”
He nods with a low humming noise. “Did you keep to your decisions?”
Well, I didn’t become a doctor or a pharmacist like my sisters and I didn’t chase after Andrew and beg him to take me back, so I suppose I did.
“Yes.”
His eyes are warm as he nods again. “Good. You are strong.”
My heart flutters a little and I feel more validated than I ever have in my life. “Thank you.”
The small curve in his lip as he smiles at me sends my pulse frolicking. It’s fine to take his hand now, right?
I swallow through a dry throat and try to refocus. Things are getting too intense.
What were we talking about before?
I reach back in our conversation as I search for something besides him to rest my eyes on. The dirt mounds ahead look like termite hills. They’re not interesting to look at, but they’re safe.
“Gemma mentioned your waning population before,” I say, “but I kinda didn’t stick around to hear the story.”
He laughs. “You kinda didn’t stick around for anything. You leapt like a vultir all the way out of there.”
A sheepish smile crosses my lips. “Sorry about that.”
�
�I’m surprised they didn’t send a search party after you. You’re very valuable, you know.”
As much as my brain wants to latch onto the fact that I’m merely a piece of property to these people, I do my best to bypass that remark and focus on the other.
“You’re not my search party?”
“Not exactly. I told the gathering men to stand down. I was going after you.”
My intrigue is enough to ignore my being a valuable commodity.
“Stand down? You’re really not the runt of the litter then, are you?”
His eyebrows bounce suggestively and I think I wet through my skirt.
Have mercy.
“What of you then?” he asks. “Where do you do your training?”
I laugh a little as he pulls me back out of my danger zone. “Training? I study rocks at the university back home.”
“University?”
“It’s a big school. We go there to study in specialized areas. We pay too much money and waste a lot of time training for jobs we may never get.”
He stares at me silently as we walk.
I have to laugh again at his response. “I know, a lot of nonsense. Essentially I study story-telling rocks at the university and smile-inducing rocks at work.”
“Your planet has rocks that bewitch you to smile?”
“Pretty much. Very shiny and pretty. We give them as gifts. I specialize in engagement rings. Beautiful white stones that men pay half their salary on to give as a gift to the women they love.”
“A stone as a gift?”
“Sure. Well, and there’s kind of a big gesture that goes with it.”
“A celebration?”
“A pre-celebration. More private, where he gets down on one knee and declares his love. Makes a proposal. Sometimes they do it in the store. It’s fun to watch.”
“That sounds like a lavish gift.”
“Sure. The diamonds are expensive, but the idea is she’ll keep it for the rest of her life, as long as they’re together.”
“You mate for life?”
A nervous tickle pulls at my stomach, though I'm not sure why. "Normally. Or at least that's the idea. Honestly, a lot of people don't honor it anymore."
“That’s a pity. Kutarians also mate for life, though we don’t have any custom of giving away half our possessions on a stone.”
The high I got just talking about the amazing diamonds I see every day deflates and I tuck my lip between my teeth. Well, sure it sounds silly when you put it that way…
“I would like to see one of these rings one day though,” he says. “You make them sound quite impressive. I’m surprised no one’s given you such a ring.”
I rub my fingers along the edge of my hips, my immediate reaction to tuck my hands into my pockets but I have none.
I give a short shrug. “It’s just not happened.”
Although, honestly, I’m surprised too. A few days after our last doctor’s appointment, Andrew took me to my jewelry store and sniffed around the engagement rings a little. I thought for sure he was going to propose. Instead, he bought me a simple bracelet with a couple spring-themed charms. Very basic, worthless, and his only parting gift as he walked out of my life.
I wasn't good enough to be the future North Carolina senator's wife if I couldn't bear him a big family, and that was that.
Xjhun's large hand settles over my shoulder and I look up at him. His face is calm but there's a crease of concern in his eyes. It warms when our gazes connect.
“It is no matter that you’ve not received your jewelry. You’re worthy of all the white gems on your planet. You were just waiting for me.”
A knot of emotion lodges in my throat and I don’t know what to say. I kinda just want to leap up into his arms. On Earth, a phrase like that would be a lame pickup line, but here… I believe Xjhun meant it just as he said it and that stirs emotions that have been locked up tight in me for a long time.
I smile at him. “Thank you.”
We step out from under an overhang of long purple leaves and the sun glints off the crescent-shaped pendant that lies against his sternum.
Happy for the distraction, I nod at it. “What is that?”
He looks down at the carved black stone. “A moon my brother gave me. He told me it would help me find my lifemate.”
His eyes peer over at me, and a blush lifts in my cheeks.
“He told me to look for an energy that’s as strong as the pull of the moon.” His fingers move over the black crescent. “I thought he was just being ridiculous, but as it turns out, it’s true.”
The seriousness in his eyes has me captivated. “What is?”
“The energy pull is like nothing you’ve felt before when you find your energy match. It’s unbelievably strong. And grows stronger every day.”
I have so many questions. Most importantly, is he saying I'm his mate? Kind of an awkward, casual way to spring it on a girl, isn't it? Only it doesn't matter. It can't. Long-distance love from one side of the globe to another sounds hard enough, but two different galaxies? That sounds like zero fun.
I consider my words carefully, doing my best to navigate my questions, when his gaze leaps over my head and his eyes shift in a way that tells me there’s something bad ahead.
I steel myself, moving a little closer to his body, and follow his gaze.
We’ve come upon the backside of the plateau and up the short hill is the NASA base camp.
Or what’s left of it.
The few buildings still standing are covered with black singes and soot. There are no signs of life.
Our base has been destroyed.
Chapter 7
Xjhun
The way Trinity's face breaks when she sees what's left of her encampment is gut-wrenching. Her beautiful blue eyes grow as round as the moon, shining with unshed tears. Her hands are at her mouth as her focus dashes around, no doubt looking for anything that's not been destroyed.
Then a horrible sound, like the dying breath of a vultir, slips out from deep inside her.
“Oh my God,” she sobs. “What happened?”
Her body is shaking now and I wrap an arm around her shoulders, slipping a hand beneath the human body to take some weight off her. She lets me move the thing to my own shoulder, and I pull her closer. When she's near enough, she collapses into me, hands cradled inside one another as they press into my chest. Sometimes they move to her mouth to cover it, as if she's shocked beyond belief all over again.
“So many people,” she whimpers, her eyes still darting around.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur into her hair, letting the deep rumble of my voice move through her. I don’t know if I can offer any comfort, but it won’t stop me from trying.
I’ve seen their small village only a few times, but plenty enough to know it’s been drastically damaged. Many of the hard huts are gone. A few others stand in pieces, the white rock-like walls smeared with what looks like black ash. I know next to nothing of these aliens’ materials, but that looks like fire damage to me.
Suddenly, Trinity bursts free of my arms, marching up the embankment to the top of the plateau. “What could have done this?” she growls.
It sounds as if her throat is constricting around a snarl of a sob. Her energy pushes out waves of distraught anger.
I’m more afraid for whatever may be at the top of the hill than for her.
Though I can’t let her wander off in a blind rage. That’s how even worse things happen.
I hurry after her. Desian snorts and tries to follow but I hold up a hand for him to keep his distance. The last thing she needs right now is for him to frighten her. Although I don’t know how she can’t love that adorable face. He slows and follows at a far distance instead.
I catch up with Trinity and slip my hand into hers, pulling back enough to grab her attention. Her eyes are blazing when she looks back at me. They register on my face as if she's seeing me for the first time since her shock.
“Something’s
destroyed our base!” she chokes out. Tears stream down her cheeks.
A knife of hot rock twists in my gut and I narrow my eyes, giving the scene above another quick sweep. There better not be anyone or anything left up there, because if I find out who’s broken my strong mate into tears, I’ll rip them apart.
My fingers clench into my palms and the heat of my fury fills my chest and runs down my backbone, right into the sharp flick of my tail.
I’m even more determined to reach the top than she is now and we march up, hand in hand, to further survey the damage.
Trinity gasps when we crest the edge of the plateau. She breaks into a run and I let her. I don’t hear any immediate threats.
The ground and debris around me are scorched. Most of the structures are leveled. Many must be just missing. Or turned into the stacks of rubble that lie around the ground.
The area smells of more inorganic substances than I can count. Fuels, fire, a poison or two. And stagni.
My ears lower and I growl, all the more vigilant. It’s an immediate reaction, even though it doesn’t smell as if anything has been around the area for a few days at least. Even so, I move faster to catch up to Trinity and keep her in my sights.
She's standing in a circle of broken hut pieces. Two structures are still erect near her, but half their walls have broken away and are open to the elements. Her shoulders slump as she gazes around.
Her defeat hits me like a fist in the stomach, and I approach her slowly.
“There had to have been forty people here,” she murmurs without looking up at me. “Maybe more. Now they’re just gone.”
I stoop to set her human body on the ground next to us, then stand and turn her to face me. Tears stain her cheeks, but at least they’re no longer flowing.
“I am sorry for your lost people, Trinity,” I say with as much conviction as I can muster. “Though I am also glad you were not among them.”
Her brow furrows and more tears spring to her eyes. Oh, damn.
My hands slide from her shoulders to her neck, hoping to comfort her in some way.
“I should have been here,” she says. Her beautiful eyes glisten with tears and they spill over onto her cheeks. “Maybe I could have done something.”