“Oh Mackenzie.”
It came out in a hushed whisper like a warm breeze. That was all he said. Just her name, and she knew he felt her pain. His arms still held her tight, keeping her close to him, and with instant clarity she knew one thing: she never wanted him to let her go.
Safe in his arms, she kept talking. “I guess you could say I had an idyllic childhood up until that day. I left Willandara a week after we buried them together and I’ve never been back since. I went straight to university in Sydney to do nursing. I somehow believed if I could be a qualified midwife then what happened to my mother would never happen to another woman. My mum and baby brother wouldn’t have died in vain.” Mackenzie pressed her fingers beneath her bottom eyelashes – she’d long ago learned it was the best way to stop tears from forming. “Stupid thing was, I couldn’t get near a pregnant woman without bursting into tears. In the end my lecturers told me to give up my dream of becoming a midwife until I could get my life together. I finished the nursing degree, got a graduate position and a few years later ended up in intensive care. I’ve been there ever since.”
There was a long beat of silence before Nathan spoke.
“What was your brother’s name?”
She looked up at him as a single tear trickled from each eye down her cheeks. Licking her lips, she tasted salt.
“Dad didn’t want to name him, but I called him Reuben. It’s Hebrew. Biblical for ‘behold, a son.’”
Chapter 19
The next few weeks at work flew. Before she knew it, Mackenzie was turning the calendar – the one which hung on the back of the bathroom door – over to November. It was hard to believe that in a few short weeks her contract would be up.
While working in Iron Ridge Mackenzie saw all types of patients. One morning a miner showed up at triage reporting he “didn’t feel well.” The medics on site typically saw the mining contractors, but he showed up at the hospital after spending a weekend alone in his donga feeling miserable. When he arrived he was gray and sweaty and had all the classic signs of dehydration. Mackenzie was alarmed at his irregular heartbeat, elevated blood pressure and weakness in his limbs. Although he wasn’t complaining of any chest pain or discomfort, Mackenzie took a routine ECG and almost fell over when she saw the acute changes on the paper in front of her. They airlifted him to Perth with an acute STEMI – a massive heart attack!
An older woman arrived another day after her dog was bitten by another dog. She asked if Mackenzie could sew it back up! One of the perils of being in the middle of nowhere was people assumed if you were medically trained then you could fix anything – even dogs. After Mackenzie had bandaged the gash in the dog’s leg and advised the woman to take it to the vet in Tom Price, she noticed the woman had a bandage wrapped around her own leg. Blood was seeping through the dressing. When Mackenzie convinced the woman to take the bandage off, she was shocked to find a flap of skin folded back. The woman had been bitten but was more concerned about the dog’s leg than her own. Mackenzie had to use all her powers of persuasion to convince her to have her leg sutured. Once Mackenzie had stitched the wound and given the woman an immunization shot against tetanus, she had eventually released her and the dog.
She also became an expert at putting on plaster-of-Paris back slabs. For three days in a row all she did was put casts on possible fractured arms and wrists – it seemed every second kid at Iron Ridge primary school wanted to break a bone! She saw lots of people with generalized abdominal pain although, thankfully, other than one suspected case of appendicitis, there was nothing which hadn’t been fixed by an enema or two. She’d had a run of people coming in with flu-like symptoms and common coughs and colds – they should have gone to the GP instead of showing up at the emergency department – and lots of cuts, scrapes and abrasions.
At the end of another busy week, Mackenzie headed home. Another full weekend off work stretched tantalizingly in front of her and she was looking forward to a hot shower and then dinner at the pub with Nathan, followed by a movie. The Lion’s Club were having a fundraiser at the footy oval – an old-fashioned drive-in movie night. Mackenzie hadn’t even asked what movie was being shown. She was just looking forward to a night out with Nathan.
Her hand touched the email she had printed off at work and stuffed in the pocket of her scrubs. A funny tightness formed in her chest. She had been distracted ever since she received it. How was Nathan going to take her news? There had been plenty of chances to tell him about it since it arrived in her inbox two days earlier, but each time she chickened out. She didn’t want him to think she was planning to extend her contract just because of him
Sometimes she still worried he thought she had followed him to the Pilbara in the first place. Of course, he never said anything to that effect, but if she stayed, he might feel like she was pressuring him to commit to their relationship long term. The Future hadn’t been discussed. Other than kissing, their relationship hadn’t gone much further either. Mackenzie wanted to know where they stood, but she didn’t want to back him into a corner, forcing his hand simply because she was now thinking about staying in Iron Ridge to be with him.
She fiddled with the letter in her pocket. Staying for a further six months just made sense. There was no way she could go back to the hustle and bustle of Sydney, but without any other job offers, she had nowhere else to go. Going back to Willandara wasn’t an option, and although she’d contemplated other remote nursing positions elsewhere in Australia, she liked Iron Ridge. Besides, Nathan was there.
As she ambled home, her thoughts kept wandering. What if Nathan didn’t want a long term relationship? Maybe this was a type of holiday fling. He had known from the beginning she was only there for three months. Was he waiting for it all to come to a natural conclusion when she left at the end of her contract? Sure, everyone assumed they were a couple, and judging by the amount of time they spent together, they were a couple, but that didn’t mean they had a long-term future together. It didn’t mean he wanted her to be The One. A cold feeling swept through her and she shivered.
Mackenzie let herself into her house and was surprised to find Nathan sitting on her couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table in front of him, watching television. She grinned. Something about the familiarity of it stirred her heart and all her gloomy thoughts evaporated like melting snow.
He hadn’t heard her come in, his attention caught by whatever was on the television. He nursed a can of Sprite in his lap. Mackenzie stood in the doorframe with her arms crossed, her bag still slung across her body, watching him and wondering when he would sense her presence. After a minute, when he still hadn’t realized she was there, she finally spoke.
“Hey you, what’s going on?”
He looked up, startled. His mind must have been miles away.
“Hi!” he said, flicking the television off and staring at her.
Something in his eyes caused a slight tremor to run through her. She rubbed her bare arms, feeling the hairs standing up. What was going on?
“Hi yourself,” Mackenzie said as she dropped her bag on the kitchen table and went to him. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and was startled when he pulled away slightly. She ignored the flicker of doubt. Had she imagined it?
A flush crept up his neck and pink spots formed on his cheeks. He uncrossed his ankles and then crossed them again as he regarded her. Warning bells pinged in her ears.
“I didn’t expect to see you here for a couple of hours,” she said, and snuggled in beside him.
His arm fell lightly on her shoulders, the way it usually did, and she was somewhat reassured. Everything was okay. This was more like Nathan.
“Was Charlotte still here when you arrived?” Between Charlotte and Mackenzie’s rotating rosters, the two women were rarely home together at the same time.
“No.”
Mackenzie frowned. “How did you get in then?”
“The door wasn’t locked.”
She shook her head in exasperation. H
er roommate never remembered to lock the door.
Nathan chuckled. “Charlotte’s lived here long enough to know nobody locks their doors in Iron Ridge.”
An uneasy silence settled between them and again, a strange sense of disquiet filled her. She had completely forgotten about the letter in her pocket.
“Why aren’t you still at work?”
“I took the afternoon off so I could see you.”
Something wasn’t right.
“So, did you have a good shift?” he asked. He was trying to look casual, but failing miserably. He clearly had something on his mind – things he wanted to say – and she wished he would hurry up and spit it out. Was he about to tell her it was over?
“It was fine.” She wasn’t in the mood for small talk. She stood and walked toward her bedroom.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
When she returned he was still sitting where she’d left him. She had changed out of her scrubs and put on comfy pants and a T-shirt. She sat on the other sofa opposite him and tried to rearrange her swirling emotions. It definitely wasn’t the right time to tell him about the email now. Her mind jumped from one crazy conclusion to another.
“Yoo-hoo, earth to Kenzie.”
Mackenzie blinked. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. You’re off with the fairies.” Nathan patted the seat beside him. “Come here. Come closer and tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Liar. You’re miles away.” He smiled warmly at her.
Was she overreacting? Maybe he wasn’t about to end things with her after all. Maybe he was just having a bad day.
“What’s up, Kenzie?”
She returned his gaze. “I was just thinking how much I love seeing you sitting here in my house when I come home after work.”
Nathan’s small frown brought the rush of worry straight back to her heart. Was this it?
He ran his hands across his face and she heard the scratchy sound of skin against his two-day growth. Was something else wrong? Maybe he’d lost his job. One of the bigger mining companies had already put people off.
He licked his lips before reaching for her hand. “Maybe this isn’t the best time to bring this up.”
It wasn’t anything to do with his job. It was about them. Her shoulders sagged. “Just tell me.”
Nathan broke eye contact and took a deep breath, clearing his throat. “I’m going to leave Iron Ridge at the end of the month.”
Mackenzie drew in a deep breath and held it.
He rushed on. “I wanted to talk to you about it first before I made my decision, but I think I want to go to Birrangulla. To be closer to Kate and Joel,” he said softly. “For the baby.”
Mackenzie sat back in her chair and frowned. That wasn’t what she was expecting to hear.
“You think? What? Why?” She tried to clear her mind – tried to understand what he was saying.
Nathan ran a jerky hand through his short hair. “Kate’s still really sick with her pregnancy. She’s been in hospital again and I know Joel needs someone to help with the farm and The Bean Counter, his café. They haven’t asked me to come, but I want to help them out and be there in case anything happens to Kate or the baby.”
Mackenzie appreciated his concern for his sister, but her own heart was heavy. She picked up one of the cushions and hugged it to herself.
“So this is it for us then.”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Well if you move to Birrangulla and I’m here, it makes a relationship between us kind of difficult to manage. We both know long-distance relationships don’t work.” She hated the accusatory tone in her voice.
His brow creased. “You’re staying in Iron Ridge? Since when?”
“Well I haven’t said yes yet, but I’ve been offered another contract. Another six months. And I was planning on accepting it.” She chewed her bottom lip.
“Oh.” He lowered his head, breaking eye contact with her again. “I thought you might like to come with me,” he said softly.
“You want me to come with you?”
He looked back up at her, eyes wide. “Of course! Why? What did you think? That I’d leave you?”
Mackenzie rubbed her arms, suddenly cold. “I thought you were about to break up with me!”
“Oh, Kenz, no! I don’t want to break up with you.”
Nathan opened his arms to pull her toward him and she went willingly, allowing him to wrap her in his embrace. Why did she always imagine the worst?
“I was going to ask you to—”
The ringing of her phone interrupted his next remark. Mackenzie ignored it, and after four rings it stopped, only to start again immediately. She let out a puff of frustration. Whoever it was had crappy timing.
“Go and see who it is, it might be important,” he said, with a small kiss to the top of her head.
“I doubt it,” she said, but she got up from the couch anyway and pulled her phone from her bag, glancing at the screen. “It’s only my sister. She can wait. I’ll call her later.” She dumped the phone back in her bag. The rest of this conversation was far more important than a phone call with her sister. What did he want to ask her?
“Which sister?”
“Cameron.”
Saying her sister’s name brought a strange tightness to Mackenzie’s chest followed immediately by self-loathing. What sort of a person was she that didn’t even want to talk to her own sister?
“You don’t speak to your sisters very often, do you?”
The question was kind, not critical, but she didn’t want to have this discussion with Nathan now. She wanted to talk about them and The Future. She wanted to know what he’d been about to ask her.
“Hardly ever. She’s probably only calling to remind me to deposit money into her account so she can buy Dad a birthday present. I should arrange an automatic transfer into her account every year and then I wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt every time she calls.”
“Guilt?”
“She always makes me feel bad that I left home when they were all so little.”
“Have you ever told her why you left?”
Mackenzie shook her head, as the phone rang a third time. “She wouldn’t understand.” She looked down at the screen again and clenched her jaw, letting the call ring out again. “Seriously, just leave a text message would you?” she said through gritted teeth.
She was about to turn the phone off when it rang a fourth time. This time it was her youngest sister Bailey’s number on the screen, and sudden worry shot through Mackenzie like an arrow. An unusual prickling sensation scampered across her scalp. Something was wrong.
She swiped her finger across the screen. “Hi Bails.” She reverted to the childhood nickname without even thinking about it.
Anguished cries filled Mackenzie’s ear as a coldness hit her core.
“Oh Mack. You have to come back home. It’s Dad. He’s had a stroke. He might not make it.”
At Bailey’s words, Mackenzie slumped down into the kitchen chair. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. She swallowed but her mouth was so dry. Nathan walked toward her, worry framing his face. She shook her head, still unable to talk. She pressed the phone to her ear and all she heard was Bailey crying.
Eventually Cameron came back on the phone. Like Bailey, her voice was filled with pain.
“What happened?” Mackenzie asked.
“He had a massive stroke. He’s in intensive care in Dubbo. They say even if he survives, he may never walk or talk again.”
Once again, shock hit her. If she hadn’t been already sitting, she would have fallen down. William Jones might have been a cantankerous old bastard, but as far as Mackenzie knew, he was still fit and active. A stroke? How?
Cameron was quiet, waiting for Mackenzie to say something, but the words stuck in the back of her throat. She tried to swallow again but it felt lik
e a golf ball had lodged there. Nathan was still watching her. She shook her head. An explanation would have to wait.
“Was he at home?” Mackenzie asked.
“Yes.”
“Who found him?”
“I did.” Cameron’s answer was soft, almost a whimper.
Two simple words, and Mackenzie’s heart broke. “Oh Cammi, I’m so sorry.”
“It was awful, Mack.” Cameron sniffed. “He must have had the stroke while he was in the shower. He fell and hit his head. The water was still running when I got there. Marlene Robbins from next door called because they hadn’t seen him take the dogs out for their usual run in the morning. There was blood everywhere from this massive gash to his head and he was so cold.”
Nathan touched Mackenzie’s hand. His eyes were questioning, full of concern.
She covered the phone with her hand. “My dad. He’s had a stroke.”
“Oh Kenzie, I’m sorry,” he whispered. He pulled his chair close to hers, side by side so their thighs touched, and draped his arm across her shoulders. The warmth of his body next to hers brought a measure of comfort.
“You need to come home, Mack. We need to be together as a family.” Cameron sounded tired.
“We haven’t been a family for years,” Mackenzie said, without thinking how it must have sounded to Cameron.
“You know what I mean, Mack.”
“I wish you wouldn’t call me that.”
“Can we not argue, please?”
Mackenzie sighed. Cameron was right. As much as their family life hadn’t been perfect, she had to go and be with her sisters. Was it time to put their own differences aside? Was it time to mend the broken bridges?
“Everyone’s already on their way to my place in Dubbo. Can you get here tonight?”
Cameron’s insistence rankled her. Mackenzie hesitated. “Ah, actually, no, I can’t.”
“Why? If you leave now, you should be here before midnight. It’s only half past six now.”
“I’m not in Sydney, Cam,” Mackenzie said. Already she regretted the distance between herself and her sisters. How long had it been since they last spoke?
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