Her parents had met in early January and married less than six weeks later. To this day Mackenzie had no idea how they’d managed to get married so fast, but her mum had always told her things were different back then. As if “those days” were so long ago. Mackenzie knew her mum was pregnant on her wedding day – her mum had never hidden that from her – but Mackenzie had never questioned it. She imagined a shot-gun wedding wasn’t that unusual, especially in a country town. Her parents had always been so in love and Mackenzie had never felt as though they’d only married to save face or anything old-fashioned like that. After all, it was the 1980s, not the 1950s.
She counted on her fingers. They married in February and she was born in September of the same year. Mackenzie was always told she’d arrived early, so the dates fitted. She looked back over the letters and sorted them into date order, fanning them out in front of her on the carpet. She was right, there was one letter written by her mum to her father on every anniversary. There was an extra letter – one written on the day of their actual wedding.
After the warmth of the day, a cold front had come through and there was a coolness to the air. Back in the lounge room, Mackenzie flicked on the gas heater, wrinkling her nose at the smell of dust as the elements heated up. Tucking her legs beneath her, she sat on the floor, enjoying the instant warmth. As she began to read, she blushed at some of her mum’s words – declarations of love for her father – but it wasn’t until the final paragraph that it hit her, filling her with a dizzying sense of foreboding. She read the words again more slowly, letting them sink in.
“… in a few short hours I will walk down the aisle and become Mrs. Alison Jones. Thank you William for loving me and my unborn child. When the time is right and the baby is old enough, we must tell it the truth. Please promise me if anything ever happens to me, my child will always know your love.”
She wasn’t his child!
Chapter 24
The incessant yapping of a dog woke Mackenzie the next morning. Prizing her eyelids open, it took her a second or two to register where she was. Willandara. She rolled over and snuggled deeper under the covers, dragging the feather comforter tighter around her neck.
Her mind was still reeling over the contents of the letters. The revelation had hit hard and it had taken hours to fall asleep. She had then tossed and turned all night, her mind burning with unanswered questions. What should she do? If she was reading all of this correctly, their parents had kept a massive secret for thirty-six years. Should she tell her sisters what she’d just found out? Should she go and confront her father? Should she ask him if it was true? Or should she just sweep everything back under the rug where it had sat for so long?
She willed herself back to sleep, but after a few minutes she realized it wasn’t going to work. Throwing back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she stretched and yawned. She had a busy day ahead.
After a quick shower, she rummaged through her suitcase and found a pair of black jeans and a T-shirt – there wasn’t much point getting dressed up to head into town – and traipsed to the kitchen to find something to eat. An hour later she climbed into her car and headed down the street to the Willandara and District Nursing Home.
In eighteen years there were many changes in town and the well-appointed aged care facility was one of them. Mackenzie expected to find a ghost town and was astonished to find it alive and seemingly thriving. She drove slowly around town and noticed the new play equipment at the school and the number of newly renovated homes. Trampolines and swing sets sat in more than a few backyards. Had a whole new generation of young families moved in?
In the main street only a few vacant shops remained and one of these had a large “leased” sticker plastered across the window. Even the corner pub was in the throes of a major renovation. A sign out the front advised it would re-open for Christmas. She stared through the windows of one café and saw it was bursting with people and full of shelves stocked with what appeared to be homemade produce. The resurgence of the town had Mackenzie baffled.
Now, as she followed Sue, the director of the nursing home, through the reception area and down an empty corridor, Mackenzie wondered how many of the elderly residents she would remember, and if any of them would recognize her. She also wondered how she was going to tell her father he was destined for such a place. Would he put up a fight?
They stopped at a heavy door and Sue inserted a key into the lock. Did they lock the door to keep the residents in or out? Sue led Mackenzie along another wide hallway with doors coming off it on either side. Through open doors she saw small, basic bedrooms. The hallway opened into a large common area and several elderly people sat alone, slumped in their chairs. A television blared from the corner of the room, a man’s irritating voice advertising some sort of robot vacuum cleaner. Heads lolled and one man was strapped in place with a harness to stop him from falling out. He eyed her myopically. Mackenzie’s heart constricted. As difficult as her relationship with her father was, there was no way she could leave him in a place like this.
*
Five o’clock that afternoon Mackenzie stopped and surveyed her handiwork, satisfied with everything she’d achieved. After her visit to the nursing home she spent the rest of the day working in the garden. She pruned the roses and vines and dug all the weeds out of the small front yard. The green recycling bin was overflowing when she finished and she still had lots more to do.
Now I have a blank canvas on which to start again. The thought stunned her. Where had it come from? She shook her head. There was no way she was staying long enough to plant a new garden and watch it grow.
That night, after she’d taken a long bath and eaten a toasted sandwich for dinner, Mackenzie called Kate and filled her in on her father’s stroke, her stay in Dubbo and now her trip back to the family home. She decided not to mention the letters.
Mackenzie desperately wanted to ask how Nathan was doing, but knew if she did, Kate would have lots of questions and Mackenzie didn’t have any answers. She hadn’t spoken to him in days, but the truth was, she missed him dreadfully and was regretting the finality of her decision to walk out of his life. Maybe she should have given a long-distance relationship a chance.
“So, how are you feeling?” Mackenzie asked, trying to get her mind off Nathan.
“I’m okay. I’ve been back in hospital again though. I still can’t keep anything down.”
Mackenzie felt a flutter of worry deep in her gut. “And the baby?”
“The baby is still fine. Small, but growing, despite the fact I’m still not gaining much weight. No one seems at all concerned. They want me to get to thirty-six weeks. If I’m still throwing up then, they’ll induce me and get this little one out.”
“How far are you now?” Mackenzie asked.
“Well over the halfway mark.”
“I’m sure it will fly from here.”
“I hope so,” Kate agreed. “So, what are you going to do about your dad? What’s the plan?”
Mackenzie sighed heavily. “He’s got at least three or four more weeks in rehab, which takes us up to Christmas, but they don’t think he’ll be able to go back home. I went to a nursing home today for a look around, but honestly, Kate, I don’t think I can do it. I can’t put him there.”
Mackenzie stood and moved to the window, staring through the dirty glass outside to the now tidy front garden. Cleaning the windows could be tomorrow’s job.
“That bad?” Kate asked.
“It took me back to all those dreaded university placements. I hated nursing homes then, and I’m sure they’ve only gotten worse.”
“Maybe it was that particular facility. It might be worth looking at others.”
“Maybe,” Mackenzie agreed. “But I don’t have many options. This one is the only place nearby, otherwise he’d have to go to somewhere in Dubbo.”
“I’m sure you’ll work something out,” Kate said.
Mackenzie sighed. “Or I’ll have to l
ook after him myself.”
“Is that an option?”
Mackenzie looked around her, at the cluttered lounge room, the tiny bathroom and the outdated kitchen. No. Without major modifications to the house, there was no way her father could come back home. She pictured him knocking things over with his walking frame and she shuddered at the idea of having to shower him in the tiny bathroom.
“No, it wouldn’t work.”
“So what will you do?”
Mackenzie sighed. “I have no idea.”
“When are you going back to Dubbo?”
“I haven’t decided.” Mackenzie was putting off the inevitable, knowing she was scared to face her father and confront him about the letters.
There was silence for a while before Kate spoke again.
“Nathan’s been busy here. He’s an absolute godsend to us both. He’s run the Bean Counter with Emma and helped Joel on the farm too.”
Mackenzie was relieved Kate had brought up the topic of Nathan. “He’s sent me a few texts.”
“You should call him,” Kate said softly. “He misses you.”
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”
“About what?”
“About us. About the future.”
“So is there a future for you two?” Kate asked.
Mackenzie exhaled heavily. “I wish there was, but he’s doing what I asked – giving me space while I work out what to do with Dad. I miss him. A lot. But I can’t do the long-distance thing. It wouldn’t work.” She sighed. “It’s better this way. If we were meant to be together, then things would have worked out differently.”
“Did he tell you about his plans for next year?”
Mackenzie held her breath. No.
“He’s applying for teaching positions,” Kate said.
“Oh.”
“Locally. Which means he’ll be staying here in Birrangulla. He’s moved in with Mum and Dad for now.”
“I thought your parents lived in Sydney.”
“They did. They have just moved so they could be closer to Joel and me when the baby arrives. Dad got an early redundancy package and they sold the house in Sydney on the first weekend it was on the market. They moved here about a month ago. Wait till you see the house they got in town. It’s gorgeous.”
Mackenzie was pleased for the Kennedy family. It sounded like Nathan and Kate had their lives sorted out. Now she just needed to sort out hers.
Chapter 25
The next day Mackenzie woke early, stripped the linen from all the beds, washed three loads and hung everything out on the old Hills hoist clothesline in the backyard. In the hot north wind it was dry almost as soon as she’d hung out the last sheet. She then emptied the contents of the fridge and finally tackled the bathroom and toilet. She was doing everything she could think of to put the letters from her mum out of her mind. And she was delaying the inevitable return to Dubbo.
By the time she had finished, she was ready to stop for lunch. Unfortunately, the pantry was completely bare after she had thrown everything in the rubbish bin. So many things in the cupboard were years past their use-by date and it had been easier to toss everything. She was fast running out of the meager food supplies she had brought with her from Cameron’s house, which meant if she wanted to eat, she had to face a trip down the street to the shops. That also meant facing people she’d so far managed to avoid.
When Mackenzie caught sight of her neighbor heading her way the next morning, tea-towel-wrapped casserole dish in hand, Mackenzie sighed. Her peace was about to be shattered.
Mackenzie remembered Marlene Robbins as being a well-meaning woman, but once she knew Mackenzie was back in town, everyone else would know about it for sure. Marlene wasn’t just deaf, she also had a very loud and recognizable voice. A voice she enjoyed using constantly to share the town’s gossip.
Mackenzie intercepted the woman at the front gate.
“Well, well, well, lookie here. I would have recognized you anywhere, Mack Jones,” Marlene boomed as she got closer.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Robbins,” Mackenzie greeted her as pleasantly as she could. She hoped her inner scowl wasn’t showing.
“Since you haven’t been into town since you got here, I assume you’re surviving on Vegemite on toast, so I’ve brought you this.” Marlene held up the ceramic casserole dish, which Mackenzie took from her.
“Thank you. I was heading to the shops today.”
“Hmph,” Marlene grunted. “How’s your dad?”
“He’s making some improvements.” Mackenzie was deliberately cagey with her answer although she didn’t know why she bothered as Marlene would go ahead and make up whatever story she wanted to anyway.
“And you? How are you doing? Are you married yet?” Marlene peered down at Mackenzie’s hands.
Mackenzie whipped her clenched fists behind her back. “No, I’m not.”
“Just as well, I suppose. This way you can look after your father. Your mum would have wanted that, God rest her soul.”
Mackenzie bit the inside of her mouth in an attempt to keep quiet. Marlene prattled on while Mackenzie only half listened.
“And of course all your sisters are too busy these days to even come and visit your poor father. I suppose that’s what happens when all your daughters get married and start producing kids. How many has Cameron got now? Seven? Eight? All home schooled too I suppose.” Marlene made a disapproving clicking sound. “And what about Bailey. She’s been married over a year now. Has she popped one out yet?”
Thankfully Marlene didn’t even pause for breath so Mackenzie was able to stay quiet.
“You’ve done a good job of the garden here. I’ve been watching you of course. Alison would turn in her grave if she could see what it had become under your father’s care. That man certainly doesn’t have the green thumb she did. She was such a wonderful woman, your mother.” By now Marlene had managed to inch her way past Mackenzie into the front yard. She squinted at Mackenzie. “All this tidying up and gardening. Does this mean you’re moving back home then? Is the house yours now that your father is—?”
“I’m only cleaning it up, Mrs. Robbins. It’s keeping me busy while we wait for Dad to recover. Thank you for the casserole. I’m sure it will be magnificent. As always.” If there was one thing Mackenzie remembered, it was Marlene’s exceptional cooking skills. Her stomach growled in anticipation. She couldn’t live on toast much longer, that was for sure.
“Oh. So you’re not going to invite me in? We could have a cuppa and catch up.” Marlene’s lined face filled with disappointment. “I’d love to know what you’re up to these days. What does a single woman approaching forty do with her time?”
Mackenzie’s eyes widened and she bit back the rude retort that flew to the tip of her tongue. The woman was incorrigible. Approaching forty? How dare she! Mackenzie wanted to shove the casserole back in Marlene’s hands and slam the door in her face.
She pasted on a smile. “I’m quite busy today so I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to stop and I do need to get to the shop and pick up some bread.”
“You know, with your figure you probably shouldn’t eat so much bread.”
Mackenzie bit back another reply.
“I don’t know where you got your figure from,” Marlene continued.
Did the woman not have a filter?
She looked Mackenzie up and down. “All your sisters took after your mother – tall and willowy blondes. Of course last time I saw Riley she was quite heavy, but I suppose she was six months pregnant at the time so I’ll forgive her for that. And of course your father is tall too so it’s quite odd that you’re so short.” She appraised Mackenzie again. “You can’t even be much more than five foot.”
Mackenzie stepped backward before she lashed out and said something she would later regret. She’d spent her entire life feeling different from her sisters and even though she now knew the reason why, Marlene’s words hurt.
“I’m told my grandmother
was quite short and I apparently take after her,” Mackenzie spoke through gritted teeth. Why was she justifying herself?
“Yes, well if Alison hadn’t fallen pregnant on her wedding night I think we all would have thought they’d picked you up from an adoption agency. Of course I remember when you were born. Such a big baby considering you were so early. Didn’t look like a premmie to me, but what do I know. I’ve never had children. Just as well you came early because your mother never would have been able to push you out. Such a tiny thing she was, your mother, God bless her.”
Mackenzie’s heart almost stopped. Did Marlene know the truth?
“When are you going to pick up your dad’s dog?”
Mackenzie stared at the woman in astonishment. Was she mad? “What dog? No one has mentioned anything about a dog.”
“She’s over at the minister’s house. John’s looking after the dog for your dad.”
“Since when has he had a dog?”
The one thing her father had always refused Mackenzie was her wish for a puppy. He thought dogs didn’t belong in suburban blocks such as theirs. Yet now he had a dog? She shook her head in confusion.
“Your dad’s had her for a year or so I think. Not long after Bailey left. I guess he was lonely and wanted the company.”
“What type of dog?” Mackenzie loved most dogs, but wasn’t overly fond of fluffy white yappy things.
“No idea. It’s a dog. A black and white one as far as I remember. Cute little thing. Doesn’t bark much, thank the good lord.”
Emergency Response Page 20