Missy's Gentle Giant

by P D Miller

  “Yes, I understand.” She leaned her forehead against Ben. “I think—I think it’s why you’re so wonderful now.”

  “Honey, I love you. When I saw you standing by Abigail I was drawn to you even before I knew who you were or knew you were deaf. A force I can’t explain told me if things had been different I would have been miserable—what I mean is—”

  “I know what you mean.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes, if all of it hadn’t happened we’d have never met.” She smiled and showed her dimples.

  “I don’t know—I mean if Connie had lived and things had been different—I don’t know if I’d have done the same things—”

  “I know. It seems certain events have to happen to bring two people together.” She didn’t realize the importance of her words as she shifted and got up from the bed.

  “I love YOU.”

  “I know.” There was a tremble in her voice. Could she fill his emptiness? “I love you.” Could she replace Connie? With worried eyes she changed the subject. “You must be starving. I’ll bring something.”

  She was gone before he could open his mouth. Minutes later she returned with a tray holding both their dinners.

  “Missy—”

  “Don’t know how good it will be since it’s been ready for some time—” She didn’t want to talk about problems.

  “Honey, I’m sorry I wasn’t here when—”

  “Oh, don’t be. My gosh, you couldn’t help what happened.” Her dimples appeared again.

  “Mm, I hate to think about if you hadn’t come looking for me.” He touched her tiny hand. “Honey, all your home remedies—man!” He rolled his eyes filled with love and laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” Her eyes glistened.

  “Now when I think about it, I can just picture you trying to carry me inside—big lunk head me and tiny you.”

  “I didn’t carry you, but I guess it would look funny, especially with me in—” She swallowed hard the minute she drew attention to what she was wearing.

  “Beautiful you.” Ben smiled. “Oh, you have no idea what a vision you were when you ran up to me.”

  “Yes well—I put some wine to chill. I’d better go get it.” Her face was crimson as she jumped from the bed.

  Ben shook his head. She was dressed for him to see her, yet when he brought it up, she withdrew. And it didn’t bother her to look at him. What could still be wrong? His comments frightened her? Had telling her about Connie changed things? When she returned, he purposely avoided her eyes, looked at the glasses while she filled them and looked past her when he took a swallow.

  “Don’t know if you should be drinking wine.”

  “You think I still need salt water?”

  “Maybe not.”

  Silence

  “This cheese sauce is delicious.”

  “It’s Mama’s secret recipe.”

  “Oh, and I suppose you and I can’t trade recipes.”

  “That depends.” She giggled.

  “On what?” Both of them were relieved by the cheerful banter.

  “What you’re trading for it.”

  “Hm, guess it means I’m going to have to cook all my recipes until I find one you want; right?”

  “Don’t be silly. Cooking is my job.”

  “Your job?”

  “Yes, the kitchen is for women’s work.”

  “Maybe—” He frowned because what she said bothered him. “Tell me, do you know how to drive a big rig?”

  “Of course not; that’s men’s work.”

  Yeah, he was dealing with some really old fashioned thinking. He should have known. All the macho stuff like in his family—women were there to take care of men and please them. “Tell you what, if you’ll give me the cheese sauce recipe, I’ll teach you to drive a truck.”

  “Oh Ben.” She giggled.

  “No, I’m serious.” He smiled. “Anything you want to try and do, I’ll see if you can. If I can’t teach you, I’ll find someone who can. Maybe we can even arrange college—”

  “But women are different.”

  “Oh? How?”

  “They—well they—” Missy bit her lip.

  “Because they’re softer to touch and usually smaller?”

  “Yes.” Missy felt relief. Ben thought it was normal for her to be softer than him? She glanced up at him. “If I ask you something, will you tell me and not laugh?”

  “I won’t laugh. What?”

  “Is it really normal for women to be softer than men? I mean today when I looked at myself, my muscles—”

  “It’s totally normal for women to be softer.” Ben felt a rush of understanding. “Men love how women are softer. It excites them when a woman smells sweeter, can be more tender.”

  “And is it normal for some women to have more—you know—in certain places than others?” So she’d never been able to compare herself with other women. Of course not! Not with nine protective brothers. “Yes, there are all kinds of normal women.”

  “But I thought all men like women with—who had more—”

  “Breasts?” Ben knew he guessed right by her embarrassed glance. “Some men like women with big breasts, but some don’t.”

  “They don’t?” He saw her hand tremble as she sipped her wine.

  “No, to some men, size isn’t important.” He chuckled. “I’ve seen guys go crazy over girls with huge breasts and others fall in love with flat chested women. Some like fat women, while others want skinny.” He heard her sigh and hid the feeling he felt.

  “You mean all sizes are normal?” She looked at him bewildered.

  “Yep, as far I can tell.” He smiled because now he knew she was comparing herself to all the other women she’d seen.

  She nervously took another sip of wine. She glanced up with tears in her eyes and looked away. “What does it mean when they say a person is—is—” She jumped up from the bed and turned away.

  “Tell me.”

  “No, you’ll hate me and laugh.”

  “No, tell me.”

  “All right!” She grabbed the dinner tray and tears started to roll down her cheeks. “Tight assed! What does tight assed mean?” She glared. Ben didn’t shrink away with her words. He didn’t blink his eyes. He didn’t lick his lips or hesitate or look away from her glare like she thought he’d do.

  “It means a girl who won’t give in to sex with just anyone, someone who is particular about who she—”

  Missy turned and ran from the room. Ben jumped up, looked around for something to put on and heard a crash. He forgot his nakedness and raced for the kitchen. Before he reached the door, he heard another crash. He stopped cold in the doorway and watched astonished as Missy threw another cup at the wall. Her eyes were filled with rage.

  “Honey?”

  She threw another cup, watched it crash against the wall and turned toward him. “Please hold me, I need—” She threw herself into his arms.

  “I’m here.” He pulled her close. “Damn, I’m here.”

  “They called me ‘tight assed Missy,’ Ben—when they hurt me they—” She shuddered. “When Gonzalo came home and your letters stopped—” Tears rolled down her cheeks and she tried to bury her nose in his chest. “I used to dream of you coming someday—but they grabbed me, pulled me into the car, laughed and said I wasn’t normal like other girls. I was tight assed Missy and different.”

  “Honey, I love you just as you are.” His fingers flew. Ben also felt like crying now, but he held her tight.

  She didn’t hear him. “My brothers never let me go anywhere alone because they said I was different. Even my mom said I was, and they were so determined I must be a virgin until—I hated it. None of the popular boys would have anything to do with me because of them.” She pulled away from him but couldn’t meet his eyes. “All the time I dreamed of you coming and I was saving myself and you’d rescue me.” He pulled her closer as her sobs subsided. “Then they pulled me into their car and took me—everyon
e but you said I wasn’t like other girls. I was “tight assed Missy.” I thought I was really abnormal.”

  “Oh no, you’re perfect. Nothing’s wrong with you. If you’d had sisters, you’d know.”

  “Are you sure? For the first time today I looked in the mirror at myself and—”

  Ben pulled back this time. “Honey, you’re perfect, all a man could ever want, all I want is you to be just as you are and love me and be a part of me.”

  “They laughed at me and hurt me. They made me feel different. Everything was different—everyone acted different toward me after that.”

  “No!” Ben’s eyes flared with anger. “In a way they—oh Missy if you only knew—” He pulled her into a bear hug. “Do you still love me like you did when you were sixteen?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “No, more now, because you’ve been so good to m—”

  “Just love me, honey.” He interrupted. “All I ask is for you to trust me. Let me show you how I feel—please let me show you.” He reached down and pulled up her chin. “Will you?”

  “How can you feel the same after—if—”

  “Just let me show you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ben hauled Missy up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He dropped her gently to her feet in front of the bed, turned her back to his chest and pulled up her nightgown. Flinging the gown aside, he placed his hands on her shoulders, slid them slowly down her arms, up her sides and then crossed her arms over the front of her. As he did this, he bent and pulled her back close to his chest careful only his chest touched her. His lips touched her shoulder.

  “Ben—” Her voice was shaky.

  “Hush.” She felt the hiss in her ear as his fingers began talking. “I’m going to check you out and be sure you’re normal. I’m going to show you how I love you. Okay?”

  “Yes, okay.” Her whole body was tight with fear and tension.

  “Lie down on your stomach.” The muscles rippled in his cheeks as his fingers told her. He held her shoulders and helped her lower herself until she was on her stomach, faced away from him, and he was on his left side lying toward her. Slowly he reached up, pulled her plait out of the way and kissed her neck. Shifting, he raised himself to pull her left arm above her head where he could talk to her, then carefully lowered himself at an angle where he could freely touch and kiss her torso.

  As his massive right hand slid down her tiny back, his lips followed, and his left hand told her what he was finding and feeling. “So perfect, so perfectly proportioned.” He tasted her back in several places as his hand slid over her round buttocks and down her thighs. So far so good. “So soft and beautiful.” He kissed the small of her back, then her buttocks and felt a small shudder. Better slow down. No one else has ever seen her like this. His huge hand slid back up her side and over her back until he felt her relax. With his other hand, he kept talking to her. “Trust me, honey, I’m just loving you.”

  “I kn—know.”

  “Does it feel good when I touch you and kiss you?” His hand slid down her back again, over her bottom and down her thigh.

  “Yes, it’s just new and—”

  His fingers splayed over her buttock and extended toward her center, and she stiffened a little when his tongue and lips touched her bottom again. Ben felt it and pulled back. “Oops.”

  “Oops?”

  “Honey I thought your scar from falling out of the tree was on your leg.”

  “It is.” She relaxed again.

  “Oh.” He smiled and traced a tiny scar with his tongue on her right bottom cheek.

  “What’s wrong?” She started to raise herself.

  “Found another scar.”

  “No way!”

  “Yep, right here.” He mashed it with his finger.

  “I don’t believe you.” She shifted toward her side, bent her leg, turned her shoulders back and tried to see. “Where? I don’t see it.”

  “Wait. I’ll get a mirror.” He jumped from the bed, went to the bureau and brought back a mirror. Carefully he angled the mirror so she could see herself, probably more of her bottom than she’d ever seen. He tried to hide a grin.

  “I don’t believe it.” She touched the scar. “I haven’t the slightest idea how I got it.”

  “My poor flawed baby. It’s beautiful.” Ben sat back on his ankles and laughed. “Wanna’ see if you have any more?”

  Missy reached up and touched his cheek. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” His face grew serious.

  “Oh Ben, I’m so sorry I’ve been so mean—”

  “You couldn’t help it.”

  “No wait, listen.” She twisted around until she was sitting in front of him fully visible. “I do trust you. I don’t know what you’re going to do, but I trust you, and I don’t want you to stop.” She stared down at the bed. “Please make love to me; ignore my fears and teach me.”

  “Oh yes.” He reached out and pulled her face up to his, his tongue searched and his lips crashed against hers. Their kiss was deep and warring. Missy felt the wild desire he’d shown before and realized at that moment he’d been holding it at bay all this time. His feelings weren’t gone. Oh, he wanted her just as much as before.

  “What can I do?” She was out of breath.

  Nothing this time, please.” His lips went to her shoulder and he lowered her down on the bed on her back. “Just lie there and trust me.”

  “I will. I don’t want you to stop, even if I shake please.”

  “Yes.” When his hand slid down and covered a breast, he looked into her eyes. “They’re just the right size for me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Honey, you’re the most perfectly proportioned woman I’ve ever seen.” Slowly he massaged her breast. “Does it feel good?”

  Missy closed her eyes. “Yes, and when you sucked before—”

  Ben’s breath caught and his heart skipped a beat. Shifting he reached for her hand and pulled it above her head as his tongue reached out in search of a nipple to suck. He bent himself nearly double trying to control the way his body was coming apart. Breathing as if he’d just run five miles, his tongue and sucking lips attacked her other nipple while his hand slid downward.

  “Oh, you’re so beautiful.” He said with his left hand. “So soft.” His right hand slid down her side, over her breasts and started down to her stomach. Missy began to shake. Fear and uncertainty wrenched Ben. “Missy.”

  “Do—don’t stop Ben.”

  “Tell me if you don’t like what I do.”

  “Yes, I will.”

  “I love you.” His fingers flew. “Trust me.” His tongue and lips tasted a little lower to the edge of her hair, but her shaking grew worse. “I don’t want to stop—tell me—tell me.” He must slow down a little. He couldn’t stop now. They’d come too far.

  “Do—don’t stop. I’ve—I’ve never felt this.” Her breathing became labored.

  Ben rose to sitting and scooted off the bed.

  “Ben?”

  Quickly he reached up and touched her fingers. “I’m here, but I have to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” On his knees beside the bed, he took hold of her feet and kissed her toes. Slowly he kissed them and sucked on each toe while his hand slid up the inside of her calves.

  “Ben?”

  “When I was under Abigail I wanted to do this. Damn, how I wanted to do this!” His sucking kisses slowly went up her calf as he raised himself, and his hand led the way to her thighs. Ben could feel the arousal in her and saw her begin to roll her hips. Her legs seemed be opening willingly for him. Gently and slowly he pushed them apart with nudges of his hands and face. Slowly he bent her legs up and lowered himself on the bed below her.

  “Ben?”

  “I’m right here.” His hand flew. Perspiration beaded his forehead and shoulders. He glanced at her swaying hips, moist forehead, heavy breathing and closed eyes. Lunging over her while keeping
himself well above her, he attacked her tongue and lips again. It was a long, lingering kiss, while with his hand he told of his love and how wonderful she was. They were both gasping when he pulled away, and he slid down to catch a nipple in his mouth.

  “So good.” Missy murmured. “Oh, so good.”

  His heartbeat quickened until he thought it was going to burst from his chest. Slowly he moved the kisses lower, circled and left thoroughly wet her naval and then slid toward her hair. Her hand shot to his hair and pulled it. He ignored her other than to tell her with his left hand how she tasted so wonderful as his kisses scooted sideways to her hip and down her thigh. She seemed to have forgotten his hand massaging her inner thigh. He pulled her hand down and forced her to feel herself. Ben was going to die right there. Calling for strength and shaking all over himself, he let her hand go and his fingers gently moved upward seeking her center of heat.

  “Ben!”

  “I’m here, trust me.” He closed his eyes in pain and worry as he rubbed the outside of her until he touched her tender peak. Missy’s back arched and her hips jerked forward. She was wet with heat and arousal. Slowly he massaged her peak.

  “Oh!” Both her hands searched for him as if she were blind. Withdrawing his hand, he moved over her, touched her tongue and crashed against her in a searching kiss. Both her arms flew around his shoulders. He reached down and rubbed against her tender peak. Gasping again, he pulled away.