by Xiaolu Guo
18-07-2009 11:10
Ah how you know exactly what
i want?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
18-07-2009 11:13
Maybe I have a little Japanese
in me.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
18-07-2009 11:16
Ok if eat Japanese then I say
place. Hiroshima, 6 Mare St, 7.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
18-07-2009 11:19
7? Are you sure – I thought you
said you had to work late …
SENDER: E
+7891533432
18-07-2009 11:22
I change my mind.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
18-09-2009 23:48
Thanks for a really lovely evening.
And such great sashimi too!
SENDER: E
+7891533432
18-07-2009 23:52
Not best octopus I’ve had. I prefer
walk we did through park after.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
18-07-2009 23:54
You smelt gently of saki.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
18-07-2009 23:57
Oh Im sorry.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 00:01
No, I liked it very much. Sweet
dreams.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 01:15
You asleep yet? You know I really
wanted to kiss you in the park.
There were shadows on your face
from the trees. I could smell your
beautiful black hair. Wish I had.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 01:18
I have been breathing you since
we met. Your spirit wrapped
around me like smoke. Goodnight.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 01:40
I’ve been lying awake thinking
about you. Why did you leave so
urgently in the park earlier?
Sunday:
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 09:30
Morning! Did you get my text last
night? Love to meet up today if
you’ve time. Same place by the
tree in the park? Hope you aren’t
suffering too much from that
allergy.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 09:36
Allergy is bad – trees in the park
make me sneeze too much. Maybe
we can meet later … I dont know.
What you doing today?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 09:40
I might play my guitar, but should
really go to the library. Giving a
paper at a conference tomorrow
and need to work. Text me
whenever and I can meet you in
London Fields.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 09:45
You play guitar? You write songs
too?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 09:49
Yes – bad ones though! I actually
once wrote a song called ‘The
Third Tree’.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 09:51
The Third Tree! I can’t believe it.
Hmm. Like our tree in park. What’s
about?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 09:52
It’s about an apple tree in our
garden in NZ. About my childhood.
So, when can I see you?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 09:55
Actually i dont think that good
idea. We should not have met.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 09:58
I don’t understand. What do
you mean?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 10:03
Too complicated.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 10:10
Ah, but I am a scientist. I am
particularly interested in
complicated subjects and you
are a perfect test specimen!
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 10:13
Anyway we shouldnt get
too close.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 12:14
Hi! Come and have lunch with me?
And why shouldn’t we get too
close? You are so lovely – I want to
know everything about you.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 12:17
You dont have to know every
lovely thing.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 12:21
But you are special. When I saw
you under the tree I knew you
were someone special, someone I
had to meet. Do the Japanese
believe in fate or destiny?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 12:24
Yes. I believe in fate.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 14:36
Hello again. All ok? Working hard?
Maybe you need a walk. Where
are you working?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 14:40
I am in cafe reading. Same cafe
we ate last night. But not sure how
long i will stay here my nose cant
stop running.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 14:45
Hold onto your nose – I’ve a
special kissing medicine that
works wonders! On my bike – be
there in 15 mins.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 22:26
I miss your hair, your fingers. I
miss your smell. We live so close
to each other – why don’t you
cross the park and come to
see me?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 22:30
I miss you too …
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 22:34
Sorry i cannot.
* * *
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:01
So what you wear for tomorrow
conference speech?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-09 23:08
Good question! Well, I want to
promote a kind of artist/scientist
image.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:14
How does that work? Science is
not art. You have to be precise
I thought.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 23:19
True, but in my work I’m getting
closer to a version of your eastern
philosophy. Might not sound like
science but ultimately everything
leads to a state where the truth is.
I study how the brain perc
eives
these ideas.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:22
Truth? I dont believe this word.
The truth of the world is
there is no truth.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 23:24
Maybe you’re right, in one sense.
But I’m still trying to prove the
impossible with science.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:27
But you cant prove that. In japan
we believe zen: you cant know
world from your brain, you can
only know world by feeling it with
your heart.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 23:31
Hmm, for me feeling is not the
final truth. Anyway, my love, can I
see you now?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:33
No. It is a dangerous game.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 23:37
Why dangerous? Are you saying
you’re playing games with me?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:42
No. I am fearful. Cant explain to
you in text message. I sigh.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
19-07-2009 23:46
Wish I could kiss your sad sighs
away. Am going for a late-night
stroll now. Come out and join me?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
19-07-2009 23:48
Sorry i cant come out now.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
20-07-2009 01:07
I think of you all the time. Can’t
sleep. I want to see you now.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
20-07-2009 01:09
I can’t sleep too. But we dont have future.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
20-07-2009 01:12
You don’t know what the future
holds. You can’t decide the future
now. That’s not fair.
Monday:
SENDER: E
+7891533432
20-07-2009 16:35
Hello. How was conference today?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
20-07-2009 16:37
It’s actually not finished yet. Too
many scientists speaking about
neurones and hypotheses! They
drive me crazy, but they don’t
distract me from thinking of you…
SENDER: E
+7891533432
20-07-2009 16:40
I cant work either. Today i miss
you badly.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
20-07-2009 16:43
Me too. Going to duck out of the
drinks here this evening – I will
run across London to see you.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
20-07-2009 16:47
I feel terrible, incomplete. I feel
urge to see you. Like cherry
blossoms about to fall to the
ground in one night.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
20-07-2009 16:49
Meet me in front of my house at 7.
Can’t wait to see you and kiss you.
Tuesday:
SENDER: E
+7891533432
21-07-2009 22:35
I start to paint again. This morning
i painted some images. They very
dark depressive. Dont know what
the shapes mean to me.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
21-07-2009 22:38
Sounds amazing! Would you show
me sometime? In fact, why do you
never invite me to your place?
SENDER: E
+7891533432
21-07-2009 22:41
Maybe one day i will. At least
show you the darkest painting i
have ever done.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
21-07-2009 22:44
I wonder what makes you paint
dark pictures.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
21-07-2009 22:49
Sometimes i feel very alone.
A kind of utter loneliness.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
21-07-2009 22:52
But I am with you. How can you
feel so lonely? I wish I could
embrace you right now.
Wednesday:
SENDER: J
+7771783477
22-07-2009 12:41
When can I see you today? I am
hungry for your touch.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
22-07-2009 12:43
Meet at cafe near bridge? They
have good lentil soup.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
22-07-2009 13:17
Where are you? I’m like a starfish
moving around without a brain.
I’m losing myself…
SENDER: E
+7891533432
22-07-2009 13:20
Im coming. I have problems with
HIM. But I leave now.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
22-07-2009 13:22
Him? Tell me everything when you
arrive. I want to hold you tight.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
22-07-2009 17:31
I watched you disappear down the
road. My body aching for you
again already. Your sweet scent.
Your silky skin. My body tingling
like a horse ready to jump. I want
to have you. I want your body to
belong to me always.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
22-07-2009 17:36
It was grey raining outside as i
walked home past canal. I just saw
huge fish swim through the water.
I have big decision on me now.
* * *
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 00:12
It is like silent war here. Invisible
smoke in every corner of the
house. I am glad we talked today,
but im suffering. I cannot bear my
body separated from you. I am
sleeping here beside another
body and i am tormented.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 00:15
Baby I want you so much. I wish
you were mine, not his. My
nervous system is going crazy at
the thought of you. Even my brain
doesn’t function as before.
Thursday:
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 09:17
I’m still mesmerised by every
moment from yesterday. Woke up
with wonderful images of your
body filling my mind.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 09:20
I wish my body is still with you.
I am aching. Want to be close to
you. I feel the deeper i attract to
you, the more painful my messy
situation. My life splits in two. The
life in this bed and the life in your bed.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 09:23
My body feels like it is swimming,
yet I want to be your protector
and provider. Like I am a hunter
bringing the catch back to his
woman. Laying it at your feet.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 09:25
You mean like in ancient time, a
man comes home with deer meat
and wild fruit?
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 09:27
Exactly! And also something
beyond that as well. I want you to
be mine.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 09:28
Please. Dont push me. What you
ask from me is impossibility.
I have built a place with HIM and i
have built my life around his
world. And you ask me to destroy this.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 09:31
Sorry, my darling, I just want to
see you and be with you always.
I cannot stand this situation.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 09:34
Im not alone and i cant always lie.
I try and get out in little while. See
you by the third tree in 2 hour.
* * *
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 14:06
Sorry if I was too strong earlier. I
can’t help it. I hope I didn’t hurt
you. As I walked home through
London Fields I wished I was still
sucking you and drinking you and
entering you. I want you so much.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 14:09
I feel burning. You came into me
too strong. You almost broke my
bones. I feel you are a bit
impulsive, when you pulling
my skirt.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 14:11
I will kiss you better when I see
you again. I am not impulsive – it
just feels so beautiful to be with
you, my darling.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 14:14
But you makes me feel unsettled.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 14:16
Maybe that’s what love is – don’t
you think? I walk through the
streets thinking: why aren’t we
together in a warm bed,
embracing? I want nothing else.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 14:19
You know why not. For scientist
everything is possible to
experiment, you kill something
old for something new. You lose
nothing in a lab.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 14:21
But sometimes you only can
discover something new when old
things die.
SENDER: E
+7891533432
23-07-2009 14:25
Yes but love make me weak. I cant
do anything and i dont paint at all.
And i think i cant leave him for
someone I know only for few days.
Its madness.
SENDER: J
+7771783477
23-07-2009 14:28
No, my darling, it’s not madness at