Your Aunt Cassie’s body, her eyes, her smile, the captivating way she has of making things better just by being there. About the fact he hated that she wasn’t there. About how hard it was going to be to survive after he let her go. None of which he could tell this child, so he decided to change the subject.
“Did you hitchhike to Carpinteria?”
“What’s that?” she asked, wrinkling her cute little freckled nose, which was hardly big enough to support her glasses.
“It’s when you stand by the side of the road, hold out your thumb like this,” he said, and cocked his own in demonstration, “and hope someone will stop and give you a ride to where you want to go.”
She gave him a pitying look. “I’m only five, Uncle Kyle. Mommy says I’m not supposed to go out alone. She says not to talk to strangers. And never, ever get in a car with someone I don’t know.”
“Your mom is a very smart lady.”
“Thank you very much.”
Megan Brightwell joined her daughter on the deck. She was about two years younger than Cassie, the same age as his sister Amy. The two of them used to hang out together when they all spent summers here at the beach. He and Dan, Megan and Amy. Cassie the forgotten middle child.
Things had sure gotten complicated when they grew up. Megan had fallen in love, gotten pregnant. Bayleigh had been born, developed vision problems and her father had disappeared, leaving her and Megan in the lurch. The miracle of a cornea transplant had restored the little girl’s sight, but he had a feeling it would take more than a miracle to restore Megan’s faith in men.
He looked at the woman who so resembled Cassie, leaning on the railing next to her daughter. “I guess the fact that you’re here means Bayleigh didn’t hitchhike,” he said.
Megan laughed. “Not in this lifetime. Cassie invited us up a week ago. I’m between assignments with the home-health-care company and the ER doesn’t have me scheduled for a per diem shift for a couple days.”
At least Cassie wasn’t using her sister as a shield so she wouldn’t be alone with him, he thought. The idea annoyed the hell out of him. He was wrestling with a future minus Cassie at the same time he didn’t want to distance himself from her.
“And Bayleigh will be starting kindergarten soon.”
“No kidding? It seems like she was just born.”
“Tell me about it. But this is the summer swan song. The last hurrah before the big time. And it seemed important to Cassie that we come up and spend some time with her.” She grinned. “Just between you and me, I think she’s planning to put us to work.”
“Doing what?”
“Painting. I thought she’d have it finished up by now. The furniture needs to be gone in a couple days so they can bring in the new stuff. I can’t imagine what Cassie’s been doing all this time.”
He didn’t have to imagine, and the thought of everything they’d done together made him hard. “So you and Bayleigh are reinforcements?”
She nodded. “But with weather like this, who wants to be indoors? Or go to school,” she said, looking with undisguised adoration at her daughter, who had wandered away and was now tugging sand toys out of a plastic basket by the back door.
He met her gaze. “Yeah, I hear that. I used to hate this time of year. The thought of going back to school—” He shook his head.
“I thought you loved it. You were a good student. Being star quarterback of the football team was the only thing that spared you the label ‘brainer geek.’”
“I got good grades.”
For good reason and not because he was a brainer. He’d buried himself in studies and sports to take the edge off his home life. It always suffered by comparison after a summer at the beach house ended. It was the only time he had the family he always craved. He wondered if Megan, Dan and Cassie knew how lucky they were to have their parents and each other. When Kyle went back to the real world, his reality was all about stepdads or his mother’s latest fling, depending on where she was in her romantic cycle. Visitations, child custody, alimony and child support. Anger, resentment, retaliation, push-pull.
He and Amy were like pawns in a tug-of-war. He still remembered feeling as if the world was coming to an end when it came out that they didn’t have the same father, even though their parents were still married when his sister was born. After the truth of their mother’s affair hit the fan, the marriage was over. He and his sister were like ships passing in the night. Poor Amy. She was as mixed up as he was. Maybe more.
“Earth to Kyle.”
“Hmm?” he said, glancing at Megan.
“Bayleigh’s right. You do look like you’ve got a tummy ache. Anything you’d care to discuss?”
“Not unless your nurse’s training turned up a treatment for dysfunctional families.”
“If so, I’d have a dad for Bayleigh.”
“At least you’re not alone.”
She looked at her daughter again. “Yeah. In spite of all the medical problems, the worry, the fear of not having what it takes to raise a blind child if we hadn’t found a donor for the cornea transplant, I wouldn’t trade the experience of being Bayleigh’s mom for anything in the world.”
“So you worry about being good enough?”
She laughed. “No. I know I’ll never be good enough for her. I just do the best I can for her every day. Sometimes my best is better than other days, but it’s all I’ve got. And I just keep on keeping on. One foot in front of the other.”
“She’s a lucky little girl.”
Because even though Megan was a single parent, she’d learned how to do it right from her own mom and dad. They’d always been there for her, their other two kids and each other. She had positive role models. He’d had the Bickersons. The Brightwells had been married for over thirty years. His family was revolving doors, musical chairs—mix and match.
“It doesn’t feel lucky from where I’m standing,” Megan said with a sigh. “I wish I could give her what I had growing up—a stable, two-parent home.”
“You should have let me go after him. Legally. If nothing else, he should be paying support.”
She shook her head. “If he didn’t want to stay voluntarily, I didn’t want money. But I’m grateful that you got him to sign off any future claim to custody.”
“I just wish there was more I could do.”
She smiled. “You know, things would have been so much simpler if I’d fallen in love with you. You’re exactly the kind of man I’d want for Bayleigh’s father.”
She was so wrong, he thought. But he wasn’t willing to go there. “You’ll meet someone.”
“If I don’t, will you be a stand-in dad?”
He laughed but, even to himself, it sounded just this side of bitter. “I thought you loved your daughter.”
“I do.”
“Then you wouldn’t want to stick her with me, even as a substitute. Don’t worry. Mr. Right will come along.”
“Mr. Right?” She scoffed. “Who died and made you the romance police? And how would you know anything about falling in love? I thought you and Dan were die-hard, dyed-in-the-wool playboy bachelors. Although Bayleigh thinks you’re better than Beach Blanket Barbie. You should have kids—”
“Do you know where Cassie is?” he interrupted. “Have you spoken to her today?”
“For a smooth operator, that was a very unsmooth move,” she said. “If you don’t want to talk about it, all you had to do was say so.”
“Okay. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay. Cass should be here soon. I ran into her at Mom’s house and she was right behind me. At least I thought she was. I’ll call Mom. I need to talk to her anyway. She needs a status report on the duplex in case she wants to call in qualified painting reinforcements. Later, Kyle.”
“See you. And, Megan?” When she turned back, he said, “Let me know when your sister gets here.” She nodded and went inside.
He had no reason or right to worry or be concerned about Cassie. But that
didn’t alter the fact that he did and he was. It was ridiculous, irrational, and just plain stupid. But he couldn’t help himself. And that worried him almost as much, because even a romantically challenged man like him was pretty sure that irrational concern was a prerequisite to being in love with someone.
Cassie and Megan sat in matching beach chairs on the sand. It was heading toward early evening and there wasn’t a lot of sunlight left. A cooling breeze blew onshore, brushing the hair back from her face. They watched Bayleigh just a short distance away, playing in the wet sand by the water with a bucket and shovel.
“So did you see Kyle after you got here?” Megan asked, absently flipping through the magazine in her lap.
“No.” She felt Megan’s gaze on her.
“I think he’s worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
“I know that, but he doesn’t.”
“It’s not his day to watch me,” Cassie said with a shrug.
Megan closed the magazine and set it aside. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing.”
“Uh-oh.”
Cassie turned and looked at her sister. “What does that mean?”
“You said that in the exact same tone as when you were sixteen and Dan teased you about having a crush on Kyle. You were the queen of denial then and you’re working on empress status now. You’re in love with him.”
“No.” She shook her head and hoped her tone had matured since her lovelorn days. She wasn’t stupid. She was an intelligent health-care professional who learned from her mistakes. She refused to be in love with Kyle Stratton.
“No? That’s all you have to say?”
“It’s enough. If I say more, you’ll just accuse me of protesting too much.”
“You know me too well.” Megan glanced to her right. “Speaking of the devil—”
Cassie followed her sister’s gaze and saw Kyle walking through the sand toward them. The words had never been more true. He was handsome as the devil and she was in emotional hell because of him, damned if she fell in love with him, which she was well on her way to doing.
He was wearing tan cotton shorts and a snug, black T-shirt that hugged his torso and outlined the muscles in his chest and arms. His legs were strong and tanned, with a dusting of masculine hair. As she watched him move closer, she didn’t miss the fact that female heads turned to look at him. He broke hearts wherever he went.
Including hers—for the second time. The patch job she’d done on it sure hadn’t held. She cared a lot about him, and the last thing he wanted was a lasting relationship that included home, hearth and offspring.
“Hello, ladies. May I join you?”
“Sure.” Megan stood. “Take my chair. I promised Bayleigh I’d play with her.”
Cassie could have cheerfully throttled her sister. This wasn’t a good time to leave her alone with Kyle. But then, no time was good.
“Thanks, Megan.” Kyle lowered his luscious, lanky frame into the low chair her sister had vacated.
In silence, they watched Megan join her daughter at the water’s edge.
“So,” he said, “did you get all your errands taken care of?”
“Yes.” She held out her arm with the bandage in the bend of her elbow. “Physical’s done and I’ve got the battle scar to prove they took blood.”
“How about your apartment?”
“Everything went off without a hitch. Like clockwork. Couldn’t have gone better. Furniture and boxes arrived right on schedule within the time frame the movers gave me.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
She glanced at him, at the brooding expression on his face. She knew she was going to kick herself for asking, but—“You don’t sound glad. Something wrong?”
“Did Megan mention that I wanted to know when you got back?”
“Don’t tell me you missed me.” Say yes, she thought. She didn’t want to be the only one.
“I wondered, when Megan said you were right behind her after leaving your mom’s.”
“Oh.” Too much to hope he’d been as lonely for her as she’d been for him. “I was on my way out the door and Mom called me back. She remembered she had some mail for me. We got to talking, you know how it is.”
“Not really. What with my whacked-out upbringing and all.” He watched a seagull glide on a current of air. “I asked Megan to let me know—”
“We got sidetracked. Bayleigh was in a hurry to come to the beach. Were you worried about me, Stratton?”
“Of course not. But stuff happens. And we’re friends.”
Friends? Friends! Who was he kidding? After sleeping together the night before, they’d crossed over into something besides friendship, something she really and truly didn’t want to name. Did he regret making love to her? Is that why he was backpedaling into the whole friends thing?
She could never be sorry for what had happened. It was the best night of her life. That didn’t mean it was okay for it to happen again.
But it was hard not to want that when he was sitting inches away. She could feel the heat from his skin where their forearms rested on their side-by-side chairs. She could smell the fragrance of his cologne mixed with suntan lotion and tangy sea air. The result was tantalizing, irresistible. Which was why Megan shouldn’t have left them alone.
Now that she’d experienced the wonder of being with Kyle, she knew how hard it would be to stop herself from doing it again.
But she’d learned something from their time together. There was a good reason she’d found her fiancé sleeping with her roommate. The signs had been obvious and Cassie had ignored them all, moved forward as if everything was hunky-dory. Her acute attraction to Kyle showed her she was the wrong woman for Steve and he was the wrong man for her.
Cassie now knew the right man, the only man. The thought brought a stab of pain that drove the air from her lungs. If she thought there was hope, she would try. But what was the point? He’d flat out told her he wasn’t a marrying kind of man who wanted children. Anything less would break her heart in the long run. She’d known the end before there had even been a beginning. Another night in Kyle’s arms would be ignoring the problem and a huge mistake.
“Yeah, friends,” she said.
“Cass? You look like you’ve got a tummy ache.”
She turned and met his gaze. “What?”
A smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “Bayleigh said that to me earlier. Before you got back. I was on the patio reading. Or trying to.”
“You couldn’t?”
He shook his head. “I was thinking about you.”
“And that’s what made you look sick?”
“The terminology was Bayleigh’s, not mine. You need to take into consideration she’s only five.”
“I see. So you looked sick.”
“I probably looked concerned.”
“Not worried?”
“Nah. Definitely concerned. You left in a hurry this morning.”
“I’d forgotten all about my employment physical and I was late. I hate being late. It’s at least an hour drive to Valley General without traffic.”
“I know. That’s what you said. But I was—”
“Concerned?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want you to be sorry about last night.”
“What made you think I was sorry?”
He shrugged. “Just a feeling. That you might be avoiding me.”
“Silly you,” she said, wondering when he’d gotten so perceptive. “Why would I regret last night?”
He picked up her sister’s magazine and rolled it into a tube that he slapped into the palm of his hand. “You’ve mentioned my reputation a time or two. I just didn’t want you to think last night had anything to do with that.”
“The whole playboy thing.”
“Right. That you were a notch on the bedpost.”
“I didn’t think that.” Only because it hadn’t crossed her mind yet. Someday she would have to thank him for bringi
ng it up.
“I just thought you should know it meant a lot to me.”
“Me, too. I’ll never forget it.” What an understatement that was. The details of Kyle loving her replayed like a video, as if they were branded on her brain. And would be forever.
“I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you,” he said.
“Yeah. It’s been fun.”
“It’s good to see Megan and Bayleigh. We should have a barbecue on the patio tonight.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“How long is she staying?”
“A few days. She offered to help me find a place to take the old furniture. Out with the old, in with the new.”
“I could help with that.”
“Okay. And between the three of us, the painting should be finished up in a day, maybe two.”
“It will be our swan song.”
“What?”
“Just something Megan and I were talking about. The end of—summer.”
“Okay. All swans assemble 0200 hours.”
Cassie struggled for cheerfulness. Her time with Kyle was almost over. Technically, with her niece and sister visiting, it was already kaput. She’d invited them when she thought Kyle would stick to his guns about not hanging out together. It was all her fault. A regret, damn it. So much for the promise to herself. She sighed. Probably this was for the best.
When he went his way and she went hers, maybe it wouldn’t hurt quite so much. Yeah, as if she was that lucky after those two good deeds she was still being punished for.
Chapter Seven
Kyle strolled State Street in Santa Barbara with Cassie beside him and couldn’t help feeling life was good. Especially when he’d accidentally brush her arm because they were walking too close. Her flesh was warm and soft and reminded him of how good she looked naked. That snug yellow T-shirt and her khaki shorts revealed her slender, shapely legs but still hid far too much skin as far as he was concerned.
Either he was in heaven, or on his way to hell in a handbasket. For a man who should be preparing to say goodbye, he was having far too many thoughts that would take him in the opposite direction.
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