With our meal finished we leaned back in our seats and savoured our teas in comfortable silence. She looked more vibrant than before. Her eyes lit up like stars when she laughed. I studied her for a moment and was tempted to reach out to her again and see how my tea was helping her pain but I resisted the urge.
"Your mother once told me Gaea had told her I wasn't ready to have draoi powers, you know," she said after pushing aside her empty plate. When she saw me looking out at the sunset she slapped my hand. "Pay attention! She said I had another calling. The lore, she said to me, was mine to pass along. I thought she meant my teaching of the young ones at the time. I think instead, she meant this. Gaea protected me from the Purge so I could be here for you. I'm certain of that. Well, mostly certain..."
I didn't know how to respond. Was she upset? Disappointed? I was afraid to speak and she must have sensed it.
"Silly boy! Stop looking like everything is your fault! This is a good thing! All my life I spoke to Gaea. Pleaded with her to give me her powers so I could make a difference. I felt certain I had disappointed her somehow. I tried everything I could to seek her favour. Mostly I felt so unworthy. Eventually, I just tended my garden. Gathered what herbs I could and sold them where I could, always knowing a Duilleog could produce better herbs than I without trying. It hurt my pride. I've grown a little wiser now and I can see it for what it was. Today pride matters little to me when it hurts to simply close my hand."
She grew silent again and sipped her tea. She flexed a hand and raised an eyebrow. She absently grabbed a scone and tossed it to Dog who snatched it expertly out of the air without breaking his attempt to lock eyes on me and swallowed it whole. When I refused to look at him he huffed and turned his attention to Nadine. She reached out and rustled the fur on his head. He bore it without complaint.
"So here I am. With the last of the draoi in my home — and enjoying the best food I have ever had in my life — and I have in front of me a few copied pages of the very lore I was exceptionally good at teaching to young draoi. Brought to me by the same last draoi, who turns out to be the son I helped raise for the woman who once led the draoi. What should I make of that, hmm?"
I knew, this time, I owed her an answer by the way she was looking at me but, to be honest, I had no idea what was going on. The druids were foreign to me. If that was what we were then it was she who understood them and certainly not me. "I admit there is a certain coincidence at play here."
"Coincidence? Bah! There is no such thing as coincidence with Gaea. She is a manipulative bitch when she wants to be, mark my words!"
Dog growled and Nadine tossed him another scone, which shut him up. I looked at him and he winked at me. Dogs don't wink, do they? I glared at Dog but he just looked away from me back to Nadine.
"No, this is meant to be," she declared and the conversation seemed to end.
The darkness outside was getting complete and so I rose and started to light more candles in her room from a small brand I drew from her hearth. The soft candlelight glowed off the walls of her house and the feeling of being home returned. The strength of realisation overcame me for a moment and a small cry escaped me. I stopped where I was with the feeling of a great weight coming off me. Nadine startled me by hugging me from behind. She moved so quietly. How she knew what I was feeling was a testament to her powers of observation. She held me for a time and we returned to the table. I looked at her brown eyes and saw the affection returned.
This was home and always would be. I smiled at her and her smile grew wider. I could see the young woman she used to be inside those eyes and with it a sense of wonder and joy. Her aura glowed so brightly and blue: a deeper and richer blue than that of the Reeve. Then I saw the bond between us. A thick ribbon of blue joined us from heart to heart. I felt along the ribbon and could sense her presence. I closed my eyes and knew wherever she was I would be able to sense her. I opened my eyes and told her what I had seen.
"You can see it? The ribbon?" she asked. I nodded. "That is the bond that joins all draoi."
"What does it do?"
"It allows the draoi to always know where the others are and how they fare," her smile faltered. "And feel it when they pass. I was spared that during the Purge. My bond was never strong. I merely felt a little loss. A moment of sadness. Usually, I had to be told," She bowed her head. "Except when your mother died. We all felt her pass. We all saw what happened. The image of the head of the Sect standing before your mother and leering as her lifeblood spilled to the ground was for all to see. Then the image was gone and the pain struck. The bond of the Cill Darae is to Gaea herself and when she died a little of Gaea died with her. Gaea bonds the draoi to the Tree. When her bond to your mother was severed the draoi fell apart in a panic. Normally a new bond is formed immediately but not this time. It was as if Gaea had abandoned us. I hated her then and I still do in many ways. I wonder all the time how she could have let all this happen." She looked to the ceiling for a moment and rubbed the fatigue in her eyes.
The silence deepened and Nadine scowled and slapped the table, startling Dog and I. "Enough. You need to work on your display of power. You light up like a blue flamed candle when you use your power. You need to learn to use less. To be more subtle. Try it now and let me see."
I practiced for an hour or so. It wasn't hard to learn. It just required someone to watch and provide comment. After the hour, I made more tea and I spent some time following the rats outside as they looked for food in the darkness. I worried about Nadine's garden and, with little thought, marked the area as off limits and felt pride when the rats seemed to stay clear of Nadine's yard. I had so much to learn. I couldn't wait to have Nadine's help on that and hoped to learn where more of the manuscripts lay. After a time, we sat in silent thought.
The silence and darkness grew and we finished our tea deep in our own thoughts. The candles struggled to keep the night away. Dog lay still on the floor, head on his paws, and asleep. I heard Nadine speak of the death of my mother, but felt nothing new. I saw no new memories. I tried to imagine the death of my mother, but could not. I had no memory and the words stirred nothing in me other than my continued grief for the loss of my mother. I knew nothing of Gaea but wondered how, if she could have stopped it, she let my mother die. I sighed and sought solace in the Word. Daukyns had taught me years ago to not worry about things I had no control over and I found a way to break myself out of my stupor. I rose and set to cleaning up the dishes at her sink while I could still see them. I filled her sink with the reservoir drawn from her well. I shaved soap from her bar into the cold water and stirred it with a hand to mix it.
I was feeling angry at something but knew not what it was. I needed to know more about what befell my mother and I the night we fled Munsten. The image of the city in flames returned to me and I grabbed a plate and thrust it into the water.
"Tell me about the coup," I said as I washed the first plate, my voice seemed overly loud in the quiet and I lowered my voice. "My mentor in Jaipers told me the history of it. I would like to hear it from the draoi point of view and how it affected my mother and I."
I paused, and I stopped washing, my hands still in the water. I heard a soft sigh from Nadine before she responded. "Alright."
Twenty-Nine
Munsten Castle, 890 A.C.
"OH NO YOU don't, young man!" cried the smiling Belle Arbor, chasing her son across the chamber. Will Arbor squealed with excitement, evading his mother's grasp by mere inches, and flew across the room looking behind him at his approaching mother. Grasped firmly in his hand was his mother's coin he had just stolen from her. Laughing at his mischievousness, he misstepped and tripped heavily. He sprawled on the stone floor landing hard on his chin and the coin bounced free of his hand to disappear under the large bed his mother and father shared. His laughter cut off abruptly and there was a moment of stunned silence before the pain hit the little boy. His eight years of age betrayed him and a wail exploded out of him.
Belle scooped u
p her son and grasped his head to take a look at the damage. Will was screaming in terror now and crying for Nadine. The cries hurt her ears with their intensity in their small chambers in the castle in Munsten. She could see his chin was split wide open and a tooth had pierced his lower lip. Blood ran freely mixing with the tears streaming like rivers from her son's eyes. Her eyes lost focus for a moment and the cuts closed until nothing but the blood and tears remained.
"Hush, shh," she soothed rubbing his hair and reaching in her blouse pocket for a handkerchief. She drew it out quickly and wetted it with her tongue before rubbing the blood and tears away. "Shh, William. Calm down. Shh! It's over. The pain's gone. Settle down. Nadine's not here any longer, my wee bairn. She's left with the young ones, remember?"
In a moment, Will ceased crying with a yelp and opened his eyes wide to stare at his mum. She smiled lovingly down at him and she could see her reflection in his eyes. Her long blond hair was mussed up from chasing her son around the room in fun. Her cheeks were bright red and contrasted with her deep blue eyes. Her son was the spitting image of her husband, Captain William Arbor. It is right that he's named after him, she thought. Her son had her husband's beautiful brownish-red hair and her blue eyes. But the set of the nose and mouth and the square chin were those of William. She sighed and wiped away the last of the tears. "There, there. All better, my wee bairn."
Will nodded but bit his lower lip. He was always ready to expect the cuts to return and this time was no different. Belle laughed to herself and reached out to Gaea.
It's a wonder he's survived this long, she sent.
Don't worry Belle. I watch over this one. Trust me in this, replied Gaea.
Oh, I do. You know that. Still I sense something is wrong. Will you share it with me?
No, my daughter. I cannot.
Belle shuddered without knowing why. She was the Cill Darae and her bond to Gaea was unique. She could tell no one what the bond was like. Gaea had forbidden it. In many ways she was no different than a true mother, but in so many other ways she was too large to understand or to grasp. It was like holding a mountain in your hands. No one could and yet if you tried it would be like holding Gaea before you. An impossible task.
Belle used her sense to observe all the draoi ties spreading from her out to all the other draoi in the Realm. She loved this aspect of the power granted by Gaea. She could sense down each thread and know how each draoi fared. How they loved, laughed and cried. It was a beautiful gift. Sometimes sad when a draoi passed back to the Earth Mother, but almost always a comfort to feel the vibrancy of each thread.
Belle found herself reaching out through those threads more and more these days. Lately, mused Belle, Gaea has been seeming more distant. Saddened. Belle was worried. She had told her husband but he had merely shrugged and went on duty. He never truly understood her ties to Gaea and found it harder to believe she was the second highest ranked draoi in the Realm. It would be hard to convince anyone of that when only you heard the voice. It's a wonder he doesn't just think I am crazy and be done with me! Theirs was a marriage sparked from love, strengthened by the arrival of Will, but weakened over time by duty. Now they argued and fought all the time. They tried to keep it quiet in their chamber but many times now Will had stumbled in from his adjoining room crying at the shouting. Tears stung her eyes and she held Will tighter.
She missed Nadine. Nadine was such a good person and so kind to the young ones she taught. Will loved her dearly. Often it was Nadine who soothed the tears. Unfortunately, Gaea had told her she had plans for Nadine and it meant she had to keep her powers from her. Belle had pressed for more details but Gaea had simply ignored her and told her to send her away to Jergen. As Cill Darae, she obeyed without question. Well, not too many questions. Always I know when there is nothing more to learn from the Earth Mother. Gaea would not and could not help unless it was part of her plans. She was sympathetic but ultimately the minor inconveniences of human affairs meant little to her. The draoi would be stunned to know each draoi meant so little to her. They were tools and nothing more. Gaea was everything and everyone. One small piece of her, like Belle herself, was a speck of dust glinting in the sunlight through a window.
I am a little different though, thought Belle, knowing she was trying to convince herself. Gaea has told me so and I almost believe her. And she loves my son. Calls him her favourite, but that, I suspect, is merely to boost my ego. But something is coming. Gaea has put something in motion and we will all suffer for it.
A soft knock at her door drew her out of her thoughts and she released Will. She tussled his hair and took his hand and led him out of her bedroom.
"One minute!" she called out to whoever was bothering her this late at night. She turned to Will. "Run to your room now! Be quick! Into your bed clothes and under the covers. No listening in, you hear?"
Will slipped his hand from hers, laughed, and ran down the hallway to his room.
"I'll be in soon to tuck you in and tell you a story. But only if you stay in bed!" Belle smiled at the giggles coming from Will's room. "Such a cheeky wee lad," she said to herself and walked to the front door.
The chambers provided to her family were large. Part of being the second advisor under Freamhaigh Dalton were these rooms. Everyone in the castle told her how fortunate she was. Married to such a handsome man and a Captain in the Guard. Second to the Advisor to the Lord Protector. Living large in the Realm's capital of Munsten. She sighed and shook her head. And I'm completely cut off from the earth. It's so lonely and desolate here inside the stone of the castle. And trying to keep my husband happy seems impossible.
She stopped at the door and turned to the wall mirror. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, nodded to herself, and then opened the door. Freamhaigh John Dalton, known by everyone else as the Advisor to the Lord Protector, stood there looking uncomfortable. As he always does, thought Belle as she forced a smile to her face.
"Come in, Advisor Dalton." Belle stepped aside and let her Freamhaigh enter her chambers. She looked out into the hallway and, content that it was empty, closed and locked the door and followed Dalton into the living area. "Wine?"
"Please." Dalton perched on the edge of the seat of the sofa and looked around the chambers. "Your place always seems so much more alive than mine."
Belle answered from the pantry as she searched for a bottle of wine the Freamhaigh favoured. "That's only because it is a family that lives here, John. Time you changed that. Found someone to settle down with. It's never too late!" Except who could love a man as dour as John?
That wasn't nice.
Hush, Gaea. You know it's true.
Perhaps. Will is listening in. Using his powers. John will sense it.
Belle rushed over to Will's room and poked her head in. "Stop it. Right this second!" she whispered at the bulge under the covers of Will's bed. Will poked his head up over the sheets and grinned at her. "I mean it! No story if you keep this up." Will's eyes grew round and he nodded his head before flopping down on his bed.
Belle blew hair out of her face and rushed back to John to find him uncorking one of the bottles of wine he liked. 'Ah, good, you've found it. Cups. One second."
"It is too late, Belle. No one would have me. If Gaea meant for me to produce children she would have made it happen. I'm past middle age. Past my prime."
"Nonsense! She doesn't work that way! And you're not."
"Humph. Well, she does. And yes, I am."
"John! I'm shocked. You shouldn't speak of her that way."
"Why? Is she listening in now? Plotting something?"
Belle returned with two wooden cups and set them down on the low table next to the couch. John poured wine into the cups, took one and finally sat back in the sofa and took a sip.
"Ah," he said smiling for the first time. "Perfect. Will you tell me now where you found this wine?"
"Nope. It will remain a secret, I'm afraid." Gaea had guided her to a room, deep within the castle. Inside she fo
und the belongings of Bishop Arnold Bengold, the man who had arguably caused the Revolution and the downfall of the Church. He had travelled to Munsten with a massive amount of goods and the longer the Great Debate had gone on the more he had brought in from his Northern county. Half of the contents of the storage room was wine from the vineyard near where he had grown up. It was a spectacular wine and it had kept in the cold room despite the years. Gaea had told her John would like it and sure enough, the first night she had offered it, he had fallen in love with it. Now he returned again and again for more.
They sat in silence enjoying the wine. Their relationship was unique and she was glad her husband understood. John was the head of the Tree. The Freamhaigh. Chosen by the draoi and his words were law and all draoi obeyed. Belle was the Cill Darae, chosen by Gaea. He represented the draoi and she represented Gaea. He was the mind and she the heart.
When she had been chosen by Gaea no one could have been more surprised than her. She was only a young draoi, only recently having achieved Stoc status. She knew she was gifted, but hearing Gaea speaking directly to her had been amazing. Since then she had followed Gaea faithfully. She trusted her with her life and that of her son.
She and John discussed matters of the draoi. Gaea expressed concerns about human affairs and impact on the world and John made changes to better provide balance. If Gaea wanted her to give wine to the Freamhaigh and keep him busy then so be it. She refilled John's cup and sat back once more. The silence between them had grown and she knew something troubled him. She knew being patient and simply waiting drew the details out the fastest. After a moment, John cleared his throat and Belle suppressed a smile.
Leaf and Branch (New Druids Series Vol 1 & 2) Page 48