His heart was still beating too fast, and he felt like he was going to throw up. He sank into the porch chair and saw that, along with his business card, the man had left the snapshot of Kelsey. James reached for it and stared down at the image. It wasn’t one he’d seen before. She was probably in her late teens in the shot, perhaps on a family vacation. The picture captured just her head and shoulders, though from the thin blue straps on her sun-burnt shoulders, he guessed she was wearing a bathing suit. Her face was tan, the apples of her cheek pink, her thick auburn hair tousled and windblown, her lovely green eyes glowing with happiness.
Again he found himself wondering when he had last heard her joyous, full-throated laugh, or seen her smile. When had the color faded from her cheeks, and the sparkle from her eyes? Where had the happy, sassy, funny girl he used to know and admire disappeared to?
She’s gone, that small, cold voice inside his head replied. You killed her.
Tears splattered down onto the photo of the lost girl. James felt something crack inside his heart, the pieces shattering like shards of cold, sharp glass in his chest. He dropped his head into his hands with an anguished cry as Kelsey’s smiling image fell silently to the floor.
Chapter 15
Kelsey heard the soft metallic sound of the closet latch sliding back and she opened her eyes. She knew she was expected to lift herself into a kneeling position, hands resting on her knees, head bowed in wifely submission, but she only curled tighter into herself.
The fog that had surrounded her all these months had been burned away with James’ horrifying pronouncement that they would be starting a family. It was as if she’d been blinded by James’ constant reign of terror, but now, suddenly, she could see again, and there was no going back. There was no way she could return to that quiet but dark and dangerous place, even if her life depended on it. Other potential lives now hung in the balance. She would rather die than go along with his monstrous plans.
Earlier she had heard James stomping around, pulling drawers open and slamming them closed. No doubt he expected her to beg to be let out, but she wasn’t going to beg for anything—not anymore. She lay on the hard wood in silence, waiting for the closet door to open, steeling herself for the next onslaught of abuse.
Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes. Why had he unlocked the door if he didn’t plan to let her out?
Finally, Kelsey sat up, wincing as her sore bottom brushed the hard closet floor. How long had he left her there this time? She was hungry, but then, she was always hungry. It had definitely been overnight, judging by the pressure in her bladder.
What the hell was taking James so long to open the fucking door? She really had to pee. Her bladder was aching, and the prospect of being let out made it that much worse as she imagined the relief she would feel when she sat on the toilet.
Hurry up, you bastard.
She thought she heard the sound of the front door clicking shut, and then the rumble of a car engine, which faded slowly away. What was going on?
“James?” she ventured finally.
Nothing.
She moved in the dark, feeling for the door, closing her hand over the knob. Did she dare?
She turned it slowly, her heart beating fast. Was he standing on the other side, waiting for just such impertinence? Was he watching the knob turn? Was this just another trap?
She dropped her hand, her courage momentarily failing her. What game was he playing?
Finally, her bladder spurring her on, she reached for the knob again, listening hard for the slightest sound. All she could hear was the beating of her own heart, an insistent boom, boom, boom in her chest.
Slowly, slowly, she pushed at the door, freezing for a moment as the hinges creaked, the sound sharp as a knife. “James?” she called softly.
Nothing.
She pushed the door wider, her ears pricked. She squinted against the sudden light that assailed her, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the glare. The sun was shining brightly through the bedroom window, its angle telling her it was late morning.
Where was James?
Her eyes swept the room. It was empty, everything packed. “James?” she called again, louder this time. If he was there, she’d just as soon face him, damn it. She crawled into the room and pushed herself slowly to her feet. He must have wanted her to come out of the closet, she reasoned, or why had he unlatched it? Again she pondered what game he was playing. How was she supposed to figure out the rules?
Her bladder directed her next moves, and she half-danced, half skipped toward the bathroom, clutching at herself the way a child might as she made her way to the toilet. She sighed with relief as she peed, voiding as quickly as she could, certain James would appear at any second.
She finished and wiped herself. Flushing, she jumped up from the toilet and went to the sink, avoiding her image as she always did as she splashed water on her face and reached for a towel. Then, though she knew she shouldn’t, she turned around and twisted back to see the damage from the spanking. Her bottom was mottled with dark red and purple bruises and she winced at the sight.
Don’t forget it, she told herself. Don’t float away again. Stay conscious. Stay focused. Fight!
Resolved, she turned away from the image and ventured back into the bedroom, still not sure how she would react when she saw him. Should she try to play his game? Should she drop to her knees, beg his forgiveness and promise to be a good girl?
I can’t. I can’t do it. Not again. I won’t.
Steeling herself, she entered the living room, girding herself to face her tormentor.
The room was empty.
She walked into the kitchen, her heart beating so fast she thought she might pass out.
He wasn’t there.
She opened a drawer, looking for something sharp to use as a weapon. James had kept the knives hidden ever since she’d slashed him all those months ago. But a fork would work too. She could stab it into his eye, and then make a run for it.
She grabbed a fork and returned to the living room. She peered through the front window. She couldn’t see his car, but that didn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t there.
She ran into the bedroom and yanked open a drawer, searching for something to wear. The drawers were empty. She went into the bathroom and rummaged in the linen closet, pulling down one of James’ old T-shirts that she used as a rag when cleaning. It was better than nothing, and she pulled it over her head. In the mudroom she found an old pair of flip flops, and she slid her feet into them. There was a jacket hanging on the peg, and she put this on as well. She would make her way to the main road and flag someone down.
Then she heard it—the sound of a car pulling up to the house. He was back. She had to get out! But how? There was only one door to the cabin, and he was right outside.
She heard the car door open and slam, and then heavy footsteps moving inexorably toward the screen door. She heard it swing open.
Grabbing the fork, she raced to the wall beside the door. She would leap from behind the open door and catch him unaware. She would stab him in the face. She would kick him as hard as she could in the balls and then make a run for it.
The door opened, hiding her for the moment behind it. She could hear him walking into the room. She counted to three as she gathered her courage. With the fork clutched in her fist, she pushed the door and leaped out from behind it.
“Hello? Anyone home?”
Kelsey froze in confusion, the fork falling from her hand to the floor. Acting off pure instinct, she lunged headlong into the intruder’s massive chest.
She fell heavily on top of someone who wasn’t James as the two of them hit the floor. The man was bigger, burlier, his hair a dark blond, his eyes a brilliant blue. He sat up and then hoisted himself upright, lifting Kelsey as he stood.
“Sorry I startled you. You okay?” he said as he took a step back. Then he peered at her, his eyes widening. “Oh my god,” he said softly. “You’re Kelsey, aren’t you?
Kelsey Rowan. You’re skin and bones. And those bruises and welts…” His face crumpled with pity. “Jesus Christ, what did that bastard do to you?”
Kelsey stared back at the man, her mouth working, though no sound issued. The world tilted as her knees buckled beneath her. Strong arms caught her as she fell and then the world went black.
When Kelsey opened her eyes, at first she had no idea where she was, or what was happening. As she came more to herself, she realized she was in the living room, lying on the sofa. She sat up abruptly, pushing through the wave of dizziness that assailed her. James would punish her if he found her on the furniture without permission. She started to roll to the ground when a deep voice that was not James’ stopped her.
“Hey there. You passed out for a minute. I was getting worried. I was about to call 9-1-1.” The blond man she’d barreled into was sitting on the chair catty-corner to the sofa. “You okay?”
Kelsey nodded, though she wasn’t sure if she was or not.
“I’m really sorry I scared you so bad,” the stranger continued. “I had to come back, though. I didn’t buy Bennett’s story, but he pretty much threw me off the premises. It suddenly occurred to me that he said come to back this afternoon because he didn’t plan on being here. When I saw that his car was gone, I was afraid I’d come too late. My god, if I’d known you were here, right here in the cabin, I would have knocked him out cold and broken the door down.”
“What’s happening?” Kelsey said, her mind still moving slowly. “Where’s James? Who are you?” She wrapped her arms around her torso, glad she was at least wearing the T-shirt and jacket, but keenly aware of her nakedness beneath it. She tucked her legs underneath her body and looked at the man.
He started to extend his hand, apparently thought better of it and dropped it into his lap. “I’m Michael Johansen. I’m a private investigator. Your parents hired me to find you. I’ve been on the case for a week or so. Something about Bennett just didn’t sit right with me, especially after I talked to him this morning.”
“This morning?” Kelsey echoed. “You were here this morning?”
“Yeah.” Michael shook his head. “He told me I could come back this afternoon to talk to his wife. If I’d known you were here all along, oh my god…”
Kelsey brought her hands together and stared down at the offending band of gold still on her finger. Twisting it, she yanked it off and hurled it with all her might against the wall. She saw that Michael was staring at her and she started to laugh, a bubble of hysteria bursting from her lips.
“His wife,” she gasped, “his obedient, submissive wife!” She doubled over, laughing so hard she could barely catch her breath, the sound echoing like a howl in her ears. She wasn’t sure when the laughing segued into sobbing, but all at once the tears were streaming down her cheeks, and Michael had wrapped his arms around her and was holding her in a gentle but firm embrace.
“What did he do to you?” Michael murmured as he held her. “What did that bastard do to you?”
Eventually Kelsey quieted. She liked being held in this man’s arms. He was so different from James, and he smelled good, like wood smoke and peppermint. She felt safe for the first time in a hundred years, a hundred lifetimes.
Finally Michael let her go, settling her gently against the back of the sofa. “I’m going to call your parents, okay? Let them know I’ve found you. Then we should call the cops. Do you have any idea where Bennett went? Do you think he’s coming back?”
“Mexico,” Kelsey said. “We were supposed to go to Mexico this morning, but when he unlatched the punishment closet—”
“The punishment closet?” Michael repeated, his face darkening with anger. “We have to get this bastard, Kelsey. He won’t get away with what he’s done to you.”
Kelsey nodded her agreement. Then she saw the lockbox on the floor beside the sofa. “Oh,” she said, confused and then afraid. He wouldn’t have left the lockbox full of gold and cash if he weren’t planning to return. She realized she’d been hoping against hope that he was well and truly gone.
“What?” Michael said as he followed her gaze. He stood and moved around the sofa to see what she was looking at. “What’s this?”
The key was still in the lock. Michael crouched beside it and lifted the lid. “Whoa,” he breathed. “What the hell…? There’s a fortune in this thing, Kelsey.” He turned and stared at her with those penetrating blue eyes. “Where in the hell did he get all this? Did he rob a bank or something?”
Kelsey shook her head. “It’s his inheritance, he said. He showed it to me last night.”
Michael lifted something from the lockbox and held it out toward her. “Maybe this letter will shed some light. It’s addressed to you.”
Kelsey saw the envelope with her name written on the front in James’ angular hand. She turned away. “I don’t want to touch it. I don’t care what it says.”
“It could be important. How about I’ll read it to you? Would that be okay?”
Kelsey shrugged. She knew she was being irrational. She should hear whatever James had to say. And Michael should hear it too. Let someone else be a witness to his insanity. “Okay,” she said. “Read it.”
Michael slipped his finger under the loosely sealed flap of the envelope and smoothed the letter open on his lap.
“Dearest Kelsey,” he read. “By the time you read this, I will be gone. I had been planning to take you with me, my darling wife and light of my life, but I have come to understand that, while I love you with all my heart, you can never return that love.
“This is my fault. I stole what should have been freely given. I took what was never mine. Instead of earning your love and proving my worth, I crossed a line that should never be crossed. I can’t undo what has been done. I perverted what should have been a beautiful thing. I hid behind the teachings of bullies, telling myself it was for your own good, and that you would come to love me in time.
“I know you probably can’t understand this, but when I beat you”—Michael’s voice faltered as he read these words. He cleared his throat and continued—“it was to teach you how to be an obedient wife. When I withheld food and comfort, it was to train you to behave in the fashion befitting a proper submissive woman.”
Michael broke off, looking at Kelsey. “My god, the man is a raving lunatic. He’s a monster. You poor girl.” His voice cracked and Kelsey saw that tears were rolling down his cheeks. “Look, we don’t have to read this now.”
“No,” Kelsey said, wanting Michael to hear what James had written, needing to hear it herself. He was, she realized, making a confession and a kind of apology, in his own twisted, sick way. “Keep going.”
Michael took a breath, nodded and continued. “I somehow managed to convince myself that you needed and even, on some level, wanted what I was doing to you. I suppressed my better nature, giving in to my baser instincts and lust without regard to your needs or desires.
“Something happened this morning that finally cut through my already rattled defenses and made me see that I’d lost the very woman I claimed to love. I’d turned you into something you are not, and nearly snuffed out your soul in the process.
“I only pray you can recover. I don’t ask for forgiveness, as I deserve none. I can promise you this. I will never darken your door again. I am going somewhere no one can follow, somewhere I can be at peace with what I have done.
“I love you. I’m sorry.
“James Matthew Bennett.”
A sudden, urgent beeping sound startled Kelsey. She realized it was coming from a small walkie-talkie type device on Michael’s belt. He stood and reached for it. “Police scanner,” he explained as he pulled the device from his belt. “The beep tells me it’s a local emergency.”
“It’s James,” Kelsey said, no idea how she knew, but certain she was right.
Michael depressed the button on the device, and they listened to garbled voices. “Late model Audi A4...crashed headlong into the ravine.” More unintel
ligible words and then, “Eyewitness says the car turned off and just drove right over the edge…Survivors unlikely…” Silence for several long seconds and then, “We’re arriving at the scene…Holy cow, the car just exploded! Get backup here right away.”
Kelsey stood and turned wordlessly to Michael. He held out his arms and she stepped into them. Leaning her cheek against his chest, she closed her eyes as he held her close.
“He finally let me go,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I’m free.”
Epilogue
Michael Johansen thought he had seen it all in the nine years he’d been working, first as a cop and then as a private investigator specializing in missing persons. When Patrick and Katherine Rowan had enlisted his services and sent him up north to find their missing daughter, the local cops had been reasonably forthcoming with their files, though they hadn’t managed to turn up much. When he’d interviewed her coworkers, one conversation in particular had stood out for him about James’ apparently obsessive interest in Kelsey. Michael had learned to trust his gut, and his gut told him to follow that lead, in spite of the fact that James was supposedly off somewhere getting treatment for cancer.
His suspicions had been further stoked by Bennett’s agitated and even hostile behavior during the interview. The timing had been too neat between Kelsey’s disappearance and James’ abrupt departure from the bank. And he remained the last person seen with Kelsey the night of her disappearance. Even so, Michael had known the odds were good that, with so many months behind them, Kelsey was probably long dead and buried. Still he’d hoped at least to discover what had happened and give her parents some closure.
The shock of finding Kelsey as quickly as he had, half-starved and terrified, had blinded him at first to her courage and inner strength. During the first couple of days when she’d been interviewed endlessly by the cops from her hospital bed, he had tried to keep his distance, at least emotionally, though in truth, he’d barely left her side. She had stabilized quickly and been released within a few days to return with her parents to their Florida home.
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