by F. Habib
Mimi pulled a face.
‘Ok, ok, drama queen, no need to get gross.’ She drummed fingernails on her glass, ‘so, you get a shameful public dumping by your illegal immigrant boyfriend, in front of the police…it’s bad, I agree, but surely not worth locking yourself away like this? It’s not that bad.’
‘Oh, but it is Mimi. Bad doesn’t even begin to cover it.’ Beth swallowed hard. ‘That was only the start. The police left and I came crawling back here, hoping he might eventually show up. After another couple of hours staring at Bohm, it occurred to me to start looking for clues he might have left behind. As I’m searching the place,’ Beth closed her eyes, ‘I noticed some papers were missing.’
Mimi sat up straight.
‘Like bank stuff? But you don’t have any money.’
‘No. Work stuff. Well, not even work stuff, really. I only noticed it was gone because the file next to it was the wrong way around.’ Beth indicated the neat row of folders on a nearby shelf.
‘They were fine when I left the flat with the police. I notice that kind of thing,’ she rubbed her eyes again. ‘It means he came back when I wasn’t here, when he knew I was waiting with the police for him; he must have seen us coming.’
Mimi slouched back against the sofa.
‘But why take papers? What was in the file? You’re not secretly working on something hush-hush are you?’
‘Don’t be daft. I’ve been trying to answer that question all week. It was nothing, just an idea about something tangential. I hadn’t even started working on it. I was just fooling around with the structure, outlining possibilities…I mean, what the hell would Liam, or anyone, want with it? It shouldn’t have any meaning or value for anyone.’ Beth drew a deep breath and looked at Mimi.
‘Ok Sweetie, you lost me. What exactly was the idea? The suspense is killing me,’ Mimi said, bracing for some incomprehensible math spiel.
‘It was nothing, just a stupid idea about the restrictions of DNA,’ Beth dismissed.
‘DNA? As in the stuff of life?’ Mimi’s winged brows rose, ‘Am I being dense, or isn’t that biology? Not exactly your field…what was the idea?’
Beth stared morose at the bar of chocolate.
‘I still can’t get my head around him stealing from me, or lying to me, or being some untraceable mystery man.’ She turned questioning eyes to Mimi. ‘He seemed trustworthy to you, didn’t he? I feel like a naïve imbecile for not checking his credentials before latching on to him like some desperate virgin blinded by a shy smile and a six-pack.’
‘Oh honey, don’t beat yourself up.’ Mimi gently rubbed her arm, ‘We’re all stupid over the first one pretty much. For what it’s worth, he seemed sincere to me too, and I’m no virgin.’
Mimi’s smile faltered at Beth’s sad eyes. ‘Look, tell me about the papers, will you miss them? Did you need them for something?’
‘Not really; I can duplicate them in a day,’ Beth shrugged and Mimi remembered her freak memory, ‘that’s not the main issue I’ve been wrestling with.’
Beth flung off her blanket and stood. ‘Thanks for coming today, it’s helped me focus. I’ve been forced to do some serious thinking about my future and I have quite a lot to…do.’
Her smile was abysmal.
‘Hey, whoa. What do you mean your future?’ Mimi wasn’t about to get kicked out, ‘spit it out, honey B. What you hiding?’
Beth was button-lipped. Mimi stood, towering over her, hands on hips.
‘We can do this the easy way or my way, but either way, I’m going to find out - so cut the crap.’ Her drawl thickened to molasses, making Beth smile.
‘Sit down,’ Beth waved at the sofa.
She didn’t move.
Beth walked to the kitchen, put the kettle on and spoke over her shoulder.
‘Seriously, you are going to need to sit down before you hear this. There is no way I can lift your giant American body if you faint.’
Mimi watched Beth dunk a tea bag in a huge mug.
‘Hah, that’d take some doing,’ Mimi sat down however, to encourage Beth to do the same. God she looks awful, that tea had better be good and strong.
Beth sat next to her with a long, considering look as she slurped at the edge of the hot brew.
‘I went to see my father yesterday. I had some news and wanted to gauge his response.’ Beth paled further, placing the mug on the floor with shaking fingers. Mimi stared with a growing sense of dread.
‘Well…what did you tell him?’ What would she confide in her father? They barely speak. Joseph Irving is a self-obsessed ass.
‘I’m pregnant. I told him I’d be keeping the baby.’
Mimi was oddly paralysed; uncomprehending and thankful she’d sat down. The silence stretched for so long Beth reached across to hold her hand.
‘Are you ok?’ She waved slim fingers in front of Mimi’s wide eyes.
‘Is this…’ Mimi cleared her throat. ‘You are shitting me, right? Please, tell me this is some unfunny way to scare the Gucci pants off me.’
Beth slowly shook her head.
‘Well, honey B, he’s really done it; you lost your mind. If I ever get hold of that green-eyed hottie I’m going to break him in half.’ She clutched Beth’s hand. ‘Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot, and this was your first love, and now you’re pregnant and alone and scared, but let’s not compound this hot mess by getting crazy, ok?’ She tapped the back of Beth’s hand, ‘I’ll come with you to the clinic. We’ll talk to them. You’re not far along, it would just be taking a pill I’m sure. It might seem scary, but it can’t be that bad. We can go right now.’
She peered into Beth’s calm face and fright clutched at her stomach.
‘I went already,’ Beth shrugged, ‘I just can’t do it. I’m going to have the baby.’ There was defiance now as she met Mimi’s stunned gaze.
‘Why?’ she yelled. ‘Why would you do that? It’s just stupid!’
Blood rushed to her head. This chic is going to give me a haemorrhage.
‘You are 18 years old, you’ve barely started the career you’ve studied for since you were nine, you have no money and no family to support you. To bring a baby into that mix is out and out stupidity. What the hell did your dad say? Bet he gave you an earful.’
She saw Beth flinch and wasn’t sorry. I have to make her see sense.
‘Actually he didn’t,’ Beth’s lips tightened. ‘He told me to leave, and if I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy, I wasn’t to return. He didn’t raise his voice. Just looked disgusted, then he closed the door.’ Beth lifted her tea and took a sip. ‘I don’t know how I got back here in one piece.’
Mimi tried to hide her tears. She knew Beth, a master of understatement, must have been devastated. She just wants this baby to have someone who won’t abandon her.
‘Honey darling, I know you feel alone sometimes, and that’s because you are alone. You don’t socialise enough. You’re an amazing girl; you should have lots of friends and be out having fun, exploring who you are and chasing the passion you have for your work. Having a baby is not the answer to your loneliness. It will be a catastrophe way beyond anything you can imagine. Do you have any idea what it takes to look after a kid? Have you ever even held a baby? Your dad’s right…and I hate that.’
‘I appreciate what you’re saying, Mimi. I know you care when you shout and call me stupid,’ Beth smiled. She seemed much older than her years, yet still managed to look like a lost child. ‘I know what I’m doing is ill advised. Why do you think I’ve been beating my head against a wall? I know it’s not the logical choice, but I can’t explain…when I think of losing this baby, my entire being, every cell in my body…screams at me.’ Beth wiped at wet lashes and took another sip of tea.
The set of her mouth made Mimi want to sob. I don’t know if I should slap her or hug her. She reached out for Beth’s hand again and just held on.
Chapter Five
Fifteen months later
‘I no sta
y in this evil place. This is witchness and I no want.’ Livia crossed herself repeatedly as she shuffled hastily out the door. Beth knew she wouldn’t be back. This was the third helper to bolt since Galen was born.
‘For God’s sake,’ she groaned as she watched the woman dash down the stairs. She wanted to disparage her superstitions, but knew it was pointless. Anyway, she was struggling to hold her own nerve this time.
When her gaze bounced back to the cot in the corner, she pushed the door shut. The sight made her palms clammy and she stamped on the urge to pray. No Irving had prayed or been anywhere near a church in generations.
Galen was lying in the cot, legs and arms waving happily below a cloud of insects. She couldn’t tell what they were. Termites?
As she watched, the dark cloud started a slow turn clockwise. The hum of thousands of wings changed pitch as a circle formed, like a ring of smoke. Galen didn’t make a sound. He seemed to be watching them intently. Where did they come from? Her gaze flicked to the open window and back. I have to get him out of there.
What if they descend? They could choke him. What would I do then?
She stepped with care towards the cot. The urge to snatch him away almost overwhelmed her. The black little bodies so close filled her throat with bile.
Slowly, slowly. Breathe.
Her arms pushed between the swirling cloud and the lip of the cot.
‘Galen, darling. It’s time for your bath now,' she whispered. 'Why don’t we go to the bathroom and let these guys go home, ok?’ The tips of her fingers worked under his neck and thigh till she could slide him out. She wrapped trembling arms around him and chubby fingers tangled in her hair. She took three steps away before he turned to look back at the cloud. It rose to the ceiling and the swirling stopped. Slowly, it drifted out the window.
Beth's legs wilted and she collapsed to the floor. Her arms shook so hard she was sure she’d drop him. Soft sobs broke through her closed throat and Galen began to scream. This was what she’d dreaded most.
The sound cut under her skin, tearing through her flesh to scour her bones. She longed to drop him and run. It took all her will to stay.
‘Please stop, my darling.’ She rocked, tapped his behind and cooed. It made no difference. This shriek could last for hours. She had to find a way to stop it and save her sanity.
I can’t take another round. I can’t. Stop. Stop. Stop.
The noise reverberated like a drill through her brain as hot adrenaline fuelled her legs to run.
You can’t run. Sit down. He is suffering more than you. He must be. That sound - please Jesus save my baby from it.
Beth’s frantic eyes searched for a solution. There was no answer. Not here. She’d looked many times. Despair crashed over her like a burst dam.
‘Stop!’ she screamed at the ceiling, her voice cracked.
She heard the echo of her demand move about the silent room. Disbelief drew her gaze to Galen who lay quiet as a lamb on her lap.
What the hell? Beth wiped her wet cheeks and rose to close the window.
The sudden quiet balmed her nerves and her shaking eased. She cradled her son and he yawned, burying his face in her hair. Beth stroked his head, exhausted. It was only 9am. She looked around the bombsite apartment.
We can’t go on like this, my love. I can’t take much more.
*
The sky hung low, threatening a dawn deluge. Mimi didn’t normally get out of bed before 10am unless the building was on fire. When the request came though, she couldn’t refuse. Ms. Independent mother-of-one never asked for anything.
She checked the toy in her pocket wasn’t sticking out. The first couple of weeks after the birth, she’d successfully snuck stuff into the flat, but Beth had soon rumbled her. Apparently, New-Mom-Brain doesn’t last long with super-geniuses.
She slipped on the frozen tiles and nearly fell through Beth’s doorway. A green refuse sack held it open.
Jeez, it must be freezing in there.
‘Beth? You gardening in your apartment at the crack of dawn?’ She peered into the sack, but saw only household detritus.
Beth emerged from the dark interior with a finger to her lips, ‘Galen is sleeping, I need to finish before he wakes.’
In her hand was a suitcase, which she lumbered out the door. She leaned over the balcony and glanced at her watch before turning back. Mimi followed, pulling her cashmere scarf closer.
‘So, you going away?’ She glanced around and froze at the empty shell that was once Beth’s apartment.
‘What the hell?’
‘Shhhut it!’ Beth hissed and pointed at the futon where Galen was passed out, cocooned in a puffer jumpsuit.
‘Um, sorry…you’re moving?’ Mimi whispered. She watched Beth zip up a second, even larger suitcase. ‘Where you going? What’s wrong with this place?’
‘Too expensive’, Beth used her entire weight to drag the case upright. She looked tired and even thinner than usual.
‘Did they hike up the rent on you?’
‘No, I just haven't had much time for tutoring, and my research has now reached a slow crawl. I’ve had to spend…more time with Galen.’
‘What happened to the babysitter?’
Beth paused in her fruitless fight with the case. ‘She left, and she was cheap; I can’t afford anyone more expensive.’ She avoided Mimi’s eyes.
‘Why did she go? You seemed to be getting on fine.’
‘She’s Romanian....superstitious,’ Beth’s gaze flicked to Galen and she sat heavily on the case.
‘Superstitious?’
She rubbed her eyes, but didn’t respond.
Mimi looked around and wondered how to get money into Beth’s account anonymously. Then she wouldn’t be able to return it in a huff like last time.
The silence stretched thin, pulling Mimi’s thoughts back to Beth’s pinched face.
‘Look, I’m guessing you didn’t call me over here to help you pack as you’ve done it all without even telling me first,’ Mimi said mildly, any hurt feelings dwarfed by her relief at not having to face cardboard boxes. There was nothing she detested more than packing. She’d done it constantly all her life. The curse of a military childhood.
‘Galen,’ Beth whispered and cleared her throat.
Mimi had the uneasy sensation of having missed something. Her puzzled gaze fell on the sleeping baby.
Huh?
Beth bit her cuticle and Mimi scowled, waiting.
‘I have to leave.’
‘Well I can see that, but where to? And why would your nanny have superstitious fears of a six-month old baby?’
‘Um, I think…well, I actually know, there is something…not quite right with Galen.’
Mimi gave her a doubtful smile.
‘He seems fine to me, cute as a button, not that I'm anybody's expert on kids.’
‘It’s not so much him, exactly,’ Beth pushed at a bump in the carpet with her booted toe, ‘it’s his....environment.
‘What in hell does that mean?’
‘I don't know.’ Beth whispered as she jumped to her feet, arms flapping, ‘all I know is stuff happens around here that shouldn't happen around any place at all.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Look at Bohm for the love of God.’ Beth hissed under her breath, pointing. Mimi squinted at the multi-coloured bird in a cage on the floor.
‘Did the old one die?’ She hesitated.
Beth leaned her head back against the wall and sank slowly to the floor. She spoke to the ceiling.
‘No, it’s the same bird.’
‘But, wasn't it green? Looks like it was spray-painted. Awesome.’
Beth flung a withering look, ‘it is not the least bit awesome, not even a tiny little bit. It changed - from a budgie to a lorikeet.’
‘Your bird changed species?’
‘Just...a little. It's still within the parrot family,’ Beth shrugged.
Holy Mother, she’s lost the plot. Or maybe
it’s an elaborate joke, except, Beth doesn’t have that much of a sense of humour. No… she’s definitely out of her tree. How did this happen so quickly? She was fine a month ago. I knew this single-mother shit was bad news, and she’s broke…I wouldn’t last five minutes before reaching for the crack pipe.
‘Ok...’ Mimi spoke carefully, ‘Maybe you do need to get away for a bit. You're sure looking like hell, again. You getting any sleep?’
‘Charming…not much. I know you think I’ve become mentally unstable; some days I wondered too.’
‘What gives you that impression?’ Mimi said, ‘and…why would your bird-swap have anything to do with Galen? He’s a baby – he doesn’t even know what a bird is. Or does he?’ Mimi was suddenly unsure.
Beth sighed. ‘I’ve concluded that it’s linked, unfortunately. They’re fascinated with each other, bird and boy. Galen spends ages staring at him. And when I really thought I was becoming irrational,’ Beth shuddered, and Mimi nearly laughed out loud, ‘I started taking notes. Every day there would be something different about Bohm. One feather at a time at first, then bigger changes would happen out of the blue and all at once. I even took pictures. What’s worried me is why a lorikeet?’
Mimi chocked back an unsteady laugh. ‘That’s what’s worrying you?’
This girl has really gone out for lunch.
‘He’s never seen one; I’ve never seen one. They’re from the other side of the planet. And why the change?’
‘Well, it is an über-colourful looking thing. The kid probably wanted a change of scenery…’ Mimi trailed off. Don’t get sucked into the madness, chica.
‘I could loan you a bit of money if you need it?’ she offered.
‘Thanks, but it’s not really a viable solution. I need to figure out what’s going on and why. For that I need time to think, and space. Galen might need to be contained.’