by F. Habib
Beth was curled on an armchair, chin on her knees, eyes closed. He dismissed the possibility she could be sleeping. She was thinking. He could feel it in his own head. Their connection had changed since the parting, but it was still there. Her flaming river of hair triggered a wash of memories he’d thought dead and buried. He’d murdered them brutally, repeatedly, yet here they were; arisen like ghouls to haunt him. Residual shock at being near her again trickled along his nerves, twitched small muscles in his arms and legs.
He walked to a bronze mermaid figurine at the base of the curved staircase. He reached out and the metal parted like a curtain to release the crystal. He stared at the small violet hexagon, and couldn’t help another glance at Rana’s violet eye before handing it to her.
Small fingers held it at the edges, like a disc. She sank cross-legged to the carpet at his feet and patted the space in front of her. He obeyed. Kade, whose gaze never seemed to leave her, moved to watch from the bottom step.
‘Is that it?’ Mimi squinted and crouched at a safe distance. Beth raised her head and moved to get a closer look. The heat from her approach warmed his skin like a touch. Could she feel him too?
Her gasp pulled his focus to Rana. The crystal was hovering over her flattened palm.
He could hear it. How strange. It’d seemed dead before, but now it was humming. How had she revived it?
It rose slowly, turning till it levelled with Rana’s eyes. Her lids drifted shut and the stone moved to press against her forehead.
‘No!’ Kade’s shout drowned out Beth’s as the stone sliced her skin like a cookie cutter. Khoen didn’t blink at the blood seeping over Rana’s nose and cheeks. He caught Beth’s arm just in time.
‘Don’t interfere,’ he said. He hoped for once, she’d listen to him. Her stiff arm flew back at him and smashed off his face. He was sure it hurt her more.
Rana’s lips began to move in rapid silence. A chant? Why couldn’t he hear it? All he could hear was the humming of the crystal now buried under a white hexagonal scab. He glanced at Beth’s deathly pallor. Mimi had clamped a hand over her own mouth. Probably the only way to keep it shut.
No one moved.
Then her lids lifted and his mouth fell open.
Both her eyes were violet and the markings on her skin began to shift. The central divide of pigmentation faded and the red hexagons on her forehead spread downwards in an inverted triangle from the bow of her lips, across her cheekbones and into her hairline. Only the new white scar remained in place. It echoed the familiar painted faces of Amazonian tribesmen.
Home. What does this mean?
The mystery of his origins lurched hollow in his chest. Would he finally get some answers?
Rana floated to her feet. She looked about the room as though she’d not seen it before and took in her frozen audience.
‘I must release them. First Galen, I will need him.’
‘Rana?’ Beth’s voice cracked.
‘Yes, mother,’ Rana said.
Beth blinked.
‘Can you bring Galen here, to me? How will you find him?’
Rana walked through glass doors to the aft deck, Kade at her heels. They all followed.
‘I don’t know where he’s been hidden. I’ll have to go another way.’
‘Ok, we’ll come with you.’
Rana’s brows flew up. ‘You are not able. Only I am able. But I will need your help the first time.’ She looked past Beth to him. ‘You will need to push me; the Lightshapers will pull me through.’
A rush of need surged through his gut, familiar and wild. He yanked it back. His hunger for power had driven him to near destruction, controlling it was painful and unnatural, like telling a woman in labour not to push. His teeth locked together and he nodded.
‘What are you talking about?’ said Beth, her voice an octave higher.
‘I think she wants to do what James does,’ he said.
Mimi gaped. Kade looked sick.
‘Wha…are you crazy?’ Beth’s voice shook.
‘It is not the same; it is a different, longer path. He does not cross over. I must do so, then find my way to Galen. It has not been done this way before. The Lightshapers are not certain what will happen, but we have no choice.’
‘No! I absolutely forbid it.’ Beth spun at him; her silver eyes shimmered in the morning light. Her will pinched him all over. His muscles lost power and he wondered yet again if he would collapse. He’d never adjust to this horror she inflicted on him with such ease. Tears swelled and flowed down her face just as the blood had down Rana’s moments before.
‘But how else are we going to get him back? Where do we even begin?’ Mimi said.
‘I don’t care. I just had one psycho snatch my son from under my nose, and now you’re asking me to let this one send my four year old into…what? Where? No one knows.’ She stepped back, head shaking. ‘What if they don’t come back?’ Her mouth opened but no more words emerged, as though frozen by the thought. He squeezed his eyes against the crushing ache that flowed from her.
The only thing worse than this connection was the parting. Nothing would ever beat that rupture, so this must be bearable. He couldn’t look at her though, it would cave him in. He turned his heavy head away.
‘I’m sorry that I didn’t stop them taking Galen,’ Rana said, ‘I will return with him…but this is what it takes. Time to act.’
The bonds that immobilised him snapped loose and he nearly toppled. He took in Rana and Beth, standing close, hands joined by the tips of their fingers.
She was so different to Galen it was hard to believe they were siblings. But he could feel the force she provoked in Beth. Galen made Beth soft with love, protective but dependent. Rana made her strong. But strong enough to risk her children?
‘Who are you?’ Beth whispered
‘I am Rana. My purpose is to split the Vine.’
‘Where did you come from?’
‘I don’t know.’ Rana frowned and looked into the sun. ‘Maybe I can tell you when I come back.’
Beth also turned her face to the sun for a long moment. He felt her thoughts reach out to Galen, and then she nodded his way. He muscles normalised. Kade, crouched to one side, covered his distraught face and watched through his fingers.
*
Beth couldn’t stop shaking. She studied her hands, yet they were tranquil as a cat in her lap. The terror had eased to a dull roar in her head. Her gaze flicked to Mimi and Kade. They clung to each other on the sun-filled deck like little children in a storm. She watched, hoping for an iota of understanding of what was happening.
Standing apart from the rest, Khoen and Rana looked like the devil and his demon fairy, except the devil was the apprentice. He listened, head bowed, as she explained how to press his will on the crystal - persuade the particles to engage with the mission they’d been created to serve.
‘Lone willpower cannot tear through the fabric of this place. Only He can do it unaided. But you are one and I am two. As a triad we shall succeed. It was Apep’s mistake to remain untrusting of others.’
Khoen looked up, but Beth dismissed his frown with a headshake. He blinked and looked back at Rana.
‘Muy bien, mi reina. I’m ready.’ His head crooked back towards Beth, then swung away before their gaze met.
He needn’t have worried; she wasn’t going to change her mind. She had to widen her circle of trust beyond Galen and herself. She could achieve so little on her own. Everyone else seemed to have the powers that counted.
‘Can we help?’ She said.
‘No, you have no experience in this use of will and your faith is too weak.’ Rana stepped back from Khoen and moved to the railings overlooking the stern. The sunshine illuminated her hair and markings; static crackled through the air and floated long strands around Beth’s face.
Rana pointed at her forehead and opened her glowing palms wide to the sun. Khoen closed his eyes.
Then she began to sing.
Her vo
ice cut through Beth’s fragile fortitude as it lilted high and strong. The pitch and rhythm was odd. Was it music? Beth’s gaze flew to Mimi who was sitting up straight, head cocked. Language? Who was she talking to…Lightshapers?
Then Beth sprang to her feet, voracious curiosity trumped by visceral horror at what she was seeing. The air around Rana began to pulse and shimmer as heat waves pushed everybody back.
What’s happening to her skin?
It flaked off like confetti, disintegrating to dust that didn’t drift on the breeze. The flecks, like a rabble of butterflies, swamped her small form and the singing broke off. The dust hung suspended in a hot cloud. Nobody breathed. Khoen reached out to test the heat; the dust instantly suctioned to a pinpoint. A soft whumph knocked everyone off balance and ripped the last shred of control from Beth.
Trapped in a bottomless scream whose silence would not release her, the skin of her mouth and cheeks stretched tight as despair swelled past her limits. Her eyes bulged, locked on the empty space where her life had been.
They’d gone and taken her mind, heart, sanity with them. Gia, Galen, Rana, each tearing a chunk of her essence away. What was she without them? There was nothing left. The roar in her temples shook the floor beneath her feet.
A piston crashed into her stomach, knocking her flat onto her back. Her skull smashed against the deck and started a deep thunder in her head.
Mimi screamed.
Sparks lit her vision, blinding her. She blinked and her lungs sucked for air but nothing happened, her throat opened and closed like gills out of water. Another crack on her head stopped the thunder. Punishing hands hoisted her straight.
‘You will stop this now.’ His voice filled her head; close, loud. She opened her eyes. Kade was curled in a ball under a table. The deck tilted horribly, but the fingers bit harder and the scene righted itself. Her head rolled left to see him, but he was behind her. Instead she saw Mimi held back by a shackle that had sprung from the railings. She was crying hysterically and kicking at the metal. She paused to yell at Beth.
‘Breathe!’ the veins on her neck stood out.
Beth closed her eyes. It was so hard to do – that simple reflex from birth – breathe.
‘Find a little faith, mi amor, or I’ll have to knock you right out.’ His voice was quite now, lips brushed her ear. ‘They will return to you, it is assured as my love.’ Beth stilled. He pressed her back tight against his torso, forehead resting on her nape. ‘I needed you before I knew you, I hate how you neuter me, but the chains you wrap around me can never be broken, not even by your contempt. You’re the only light in my darkness. I will not survive your loss a second time cariño. Now breathe. Please.’
Her lungs burned as the rush of cool sea air flooded life through her. Racking sobs bent her double. Khoen carried her crumpled form to the salon and placed her on a wide sofa. He knelt and swaddled her with his weight, arms pinned her shuddering legs to the cushions; he spoke in soft Spanish, incomprehensible and soothing.
Long minutes passed and her heart steadied. She knew she would never be the same. Precious control, fragmenting since Galen’s conception, had disintegrated. She’d lost all authority over her thoughts, emotions, choices; even her limbs. Her life had become wholly ungovernable. Where do you go from chaos?
The leather beneath her face had pooled her tears so the liquid cooled against her cheek. Her gaze was locked on the buttoned pattern of the back pillow.
If fear paralyses me, then I must shed fear…which only requires acceptance that they may never return. How do I do that and stay sane? Exhausted lids drifted shut and the word lit up.
Her eyes cracked open. Gratitude? For…the experience. For the love I got and gave. For the pain? The unending mistakes?
Darkness provides contrast, reinforces the light. Differentiation.
She saw how she’d used her intellect to abscond from life. Her mother’s suicide had left her dangling her over a precipice, too terrified to look down, to reach out and ask for help. That would’ve required acknowledging the cavernous abyss waiting to swallow her.
But she’d not been allowed to hide forever.
Motherhood had battered down her barriers, exposing her strengths and weaknesses whether she liked it or not. Galen had taught her love, trust, devotion, but she’d leaned on him too hard, too long. He’d provided nothing but support. A child shouldn’t be anyone’s rock.
Rana had provided nothing but challenge. Instead of rising to it, she’d tried to bypass it by demonising her just as Perun had done with Khoen. She’d blamed her daughter for not being the right sort of daughter. The sort she wanted - needed. I’m such an idiot…I hope she can forgive me. She bit her lip, squeezed her eyes tight.
I need to forgive them too. Mother, for abandoning me. Dad, for not being the right kind of father. Perun for not being the perfect hero…where the hell is he anyway?
Khoen…Khoen for not being wicked all the way through, damn it. Her heart stuttered to a new rhythm.
She exhaled a long slow breath. He’d stopped his flow of words now, but held perfectly still. He’d talked about love. How can he love me when he doesn’t really know me? I don’t really know me. Perhaps it’s the potential talking. Could I love him? A man who’s done the things he has? What does that say about me?
Perhaps it’s time to let go of judgment and expectation. Is that possible? Isn’t that the structure of human thought? Perceive, compare, judge then preconceive what’s next. I’m no Dalai Lama. I’m a scientist, judging is what I do. Test, compare, judge. Acceptance isn’t invited to the party.
Maybe acceptance doesn’t equate to blind acceptance. I don’t know if I can change how I think, but maybe I can change what I do with the conclusions I end up with. There’s only one way to find out. Step one: face the music. She rolled her aching body and he eased off her, helping her sit up. She looked at the small group encircling her. They were shattered. Only Khoen looked capable of moving. She nodded at him.
‘Vodka all round.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
Providence Site 6
The glare of fluorescent light blinded Galen after the dark rush. James dropped him like a sack of potatoes and he fell to a rock-hewn floor. Through his lashes he made out a large cavern busy with machinery. His teeth prickled at the grind of metal on stone. Rough hands lifted him by the arms, half carrying him down a narrow corridor.
His muscles didn’t seem to work properly. They were rubbery, like he’d been pulled through the eye of a needle. His head would have surely floated away from his body if it weren’t for his neck. However James did it, it wasn’t a good way to travel. He willed his eyes towards his captor, who strode ahead of the guards. The trip didn’t seem to affect him at all.
The group stopped in front of a metal door and he was unceremoniously dumped on a narrow bunk in a small room.
‘Let’s see you transform your way out of here.’ James’ smile chilled him. The door slammed shut and the slide of heavy locks sealed his stone cell. He pulled himself up with effort and sat slumped against the wall. His eyes took in the bed sheets, a cubbyhole for storage and even a table and chair. It’s not a prison, he thought. At a guess it was an underground Providence stronghold, fitted out for short-term living.
The dizziness was receding and he could feel the strength return to his body as it remembered how to function. His thoughts flashed to the others left behind and he groaned at the memory of his mum’s face as he was sucked into James’ vortex.
She must be going crazy. At least Khoen was back. He’d help her - not that a calming effect was likely to be the means.
His gaze locked on the black eye of a camera embedded in the ceiling. He reached out to feel for any other DNA nearby. Well, he wasn’t alone. He could feel the two guards a little way down the corridor as well as the bugs in the walls. He’d have to think up a plan. Despite his best efforts he’d not learned to anaesthetise people at a distance, he had to be touching them. He dismissed the ide
a of transforming the guards. It wouldn’t help. He’d hit at James though, as soon as he was recharged and felt stronger. Assuming he’d get a chance - the man moved fast.
He straightened and stood slowly, braced against the wall. There was a cup and water bottle on the table and he realised he was desperately thirsty.
Just three steps.
He pulled his leg up and pushed his foot forward. It was such a peculiar sensation, like remote controlling your limbs, that he laughed. He released the wall and tested his weight. All good. One, two. He reached for the water and a sharp crack from behind shoved him forward, bashing his shin against the table leg. He collapsed onto the floor and froze.
Catching his breath, he turned slowly to look behind him, but couldn't grasp what he was seeing. Curled into a face-down foetal position on the floor was the slim figure of a woman.
She seemed to be asleep, or knocked out. She’d appeared from the ether. He crawled towards her on his hands and knees as he couldn't trust himself to stand. She was dressed in a white shimmering bodysuit that matched her long hair.
He reached out to her, but reeled back. It’s impossible.
The room seemed to tilt on its axis and he wondered if he would faint. He’d never known real weakness. He’d only experienced it second-hand when healing. First-hand, it was unexpectedly odd and deeply unpleasant. He rested his forehead on the cool stone floor and groaned as a wave of nausea hit him in the gut.
A wrenching cough exploded from the woman. She gasped to fill her lungs, and flipped onto her back. Galen watched violet eyes pop open. She flipped straight onto her feet and stared at him.
Impossible surely, but he knew he wasn’t wrong. This strange, beautiful woman was about twenty years old with skin so white it was almost silver. Her violet eyes might have had him convinced except for the deep fear that radiated from her like a sucker punch. He could feel it shaking him from the inside out. This couldn’t be Rana, no matter what the DNA was telling him. This woman was terrified and Rana was never scared, not ever.