by K. C. Lynn
“I’m always thinking about you.”
His kind words wash over me, sending peace to invade my soul.
“Is it because you’re going to miss them?” he asks.
“Among other people,” I say softly, my hand moving to the side of his face.
His eyes darken with pain, the same one I feel all the way to my core when I think about leaving him. We haven’t spoken about it. We avoid the subject because it hurts too much. But as the date quickly approaches, my heart grows heavier and the tension between us magnifies.
He turns his face in, kissing the inside of my palm. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Where?”
He shrugs. “The street festival downtown is happening tonight. Why don’t we head there and grab dinner. It will help take your mind off things.”
I smile. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
“Come here.” He tugs me to stand then enfolds me in his strong arms, holding me close. We stand locked together for a long time, my face buried in his chest, silence filling the air. But we didn’t need words in this moment—our hug said it all.
We aren’t ready to lose this. I’m not sure if I ever will be.
*
Jase
We walk hand in hand, my large one engulfing her delicate one while she holds a spool of pink cotton candy in her other. Rows of booths and performers are lined up along main street. We stop to join a large group of people as they watch a guy perform with fire. He dances around, his sticks aflame, one that he ends up swallowing before breathing fire back onto it.
“Whoa!” Sam quickly becomes entranced with the show, her eyes as big as saucers. I, on the other hand, don’t find him all that entertaining but that’s probably because my mind is elsewhere. In a place I don’t want to be, a reality I don’t want to face.
In just a few short weeks she’s going to be gone and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. The thought of never seeing her again has dread snaking around my chest. It coils so fucking tight that I can’t take in a full breath.
I don’t want her to leave. I’m not ready to lose her yet. But I won’t hold her back either, not when I know how much she needs her family. I love her enough to let her go…
Whoa! Care. I care about her enough. Not love. I can’t. It’s too soon for that…right?
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to enjoy these last few months with her. Get her out of my system and move on. The problem is—there is no working her out of my system. She has left an ever-lasting mark on me that will never be erased.
I’m seriously fucked.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts when we start walking again. Sam decides to be a pain in the ass by reaching up to shove the cotton candy in my mouth but ends up getting it all over my damn face.
She lets out a squeal of laughter when I turn the tables on her, my arm hooking around her neck as I dip her back to rub the pink fluff all over hers.
“Okay, okay, stop. I’m sorry,” she begs for mercy.
I remove the smudged cotton candy and cover her mouth with mine; licking up all the sticky sweetness, but the cherry-flavored candy has nothing on her.
She moans into my mouth, her arms winding around my neck. My blood ignites with heated force as I get lost in her as if we’re the only two people on this crowded street.
“Jasiah?”
I tense, my mother’s voice immediately deflating my raging hard-on.
Shit.
I tear my mouth from Sam’s then turn to find my parents watching us, a gleeful smile on my mother’s face and a smirk on my father’s. One I know all too well.
“Hey, guys,” I greet them, clearing my throat when I hear how gruff I sound.
“Sweetheart, I didn’t know you were coming here tonight,” my mom says, quickly moving in for the kill…of my pride that is. I try not to wince when she pulls me down for a kiss, thankfully only one to my cheek and not the thousands she usually gives me.
“Yeah, it was a last minute thing,” I tell her. “Sam and I decided to come walk around for a bit.”
I’m about to formally introduce them but she strikes first. With her smile bright, she moves to stand in front of Sam. “Hi, sweetheart, I’m Elise Crawford, Jasiah’s mother,” she says, making me fucking cringe. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Mrs. Crawford, it’s nice to meet you, too.” Sam shoves the cotton candy against my chest and tries wiping her hands on her skirt. “Sorry, my hands are sticky,” she apologizes.
“No problem. I’m a hugger anyway,” she says, pulling her into a hug.
“Well good, so am I.” Sam returns the embrace, not fazed in the least by my mother’s affection.
My mom steps back and introduces my father. “And this is my husband, Ben.”
Sam shifts on her feet nervously, her smile faltering. “Hi, Mr. Crawford. Nice to meet you.”
“You too, honey.” He surprises me by pulling her in for a quick hug, too. Not that I thought he would be rude to her but I didn’t think he would be this receptive. “And you can call me Ben.”
Sam’s smile becomes more relaxed. “All right. Thank you, Ben.”
“Isn’t she beautiful?” my mom says.
“She is.”
Sam’s cheeks flush. “Well, thank you. I appreciate the compliment considering I probably have cotton candy all over my face at the moment,” she says, sending a playful elbow my way.
“Jasiah, why are you smearing candy on her face?” my mom scolds. “You must have better moves than that.”
Sam flashes me an amused smile. “Yeah, Jasiah, don’t you have better moves than that?”
I grunt. The minute I get her alone, I’ll show her those moves by fucking the smirk right off her pretty face.
“Have you guys eaten yet? Want to join us for supper?” my mom asks.
“Oh that’s so nice of you to ask. We—”
“I don’t think so, Mom,” I cut Sam off then feel like a dick when my mom’s face falls with disappointment. “It’s just because we’ve been walking and eating as we go but maybe another time.”
Thankfully, my dad chooses that moment to step in. “Let them be, Elise. We can do it another time when they have more notice.”
“Oh, all right.” She pulls me down again but this time by my shirt. “You bring her by the house soon for supper, you hear?”
“I will,” I promise her.
“I’ll even make your favorite. Chicken parm.” She presses a kiss to my cheek then gives it a gentle slap. “Now behave, Jasiah,” she says, adding salt to the wound before moving to Sam and enfolding her in another hug. “It was so nice to meet you, sweetheart. We’ll have you over to the house soon.”
“I’d like that. Thank you.”
My dad says his good-bye to her next then gives me a hard clap on the shoulder, a knowing smirk on his face. “We’ll see you later, Son. Have a good night.”
“Bye.” Once they’re out of sight, I reluctantly glance at Sam and find her watching me with that smug smile on her face. “Don’t fucking say it.”
“Jasiah? Your name is Jasiah?”
“No. It’s fucking Jase.”
“Well I much prefer Jasiah over fucking Jase.” She belts out laughing, finding herself hilarious. “You might be an even bigger mama’s boy than my brother and that’s saying something because—”
I silence whatever else she’s about to say with my mouth, thrusting my tongue in and inhaling all of that sassy attitude. It does the trick. She melts against me, a sigh of pleasure leaving her. I back her up against a temporary fence that’s been set up for the festival, my hand moving between us to snake up her skirt. Unfortunately, she shoves it away before I reach the sweet spot between her legs.
“Your mother told you to behave yourself, Jasiah,” she snickers breathlessly against my lips.
“Well, she’s not here right now, Samantha…” I trail off when I feel her tense, realizing my mistake too late. Pulling back, I look down at her, my
hand moving to the smooth surface of her cheek. “I’m going to get you to like your name if it’s the last thing I do.”
“I like Sam.”
“I do too, but I don’t want you to cringe every time you hear Samantha.”
“Like you do for Jasiah?” she asks, quirking a brow at me.
“It’s not the same thing. You don’t like yours because of that asshole, and I’m going to change that.”
Her face softens. “And how do you plan to do that?”
My arms encircle her waist before I pick her up off her feet, bringing her face level. “By whispering it when I’m inside of you, buried so fucking deep you will forget every meaningless moment you had with that bastard,” I murmur, moving in to brush my lips across hers. “You will forget everyone but me.”
She rests her forehead against mine, a soft smile on her pretty face. “I already have. It’s hard to remember anyone after having someone like you.” The sad note to her voice has my chest pulling so fucking tight it restricts me of breath, the same one she breathes into me whenever she’s near.
“Let’s get out of here.” I want to be alone with her, to get lost in her and pretend she’s not leaving me in only a few weeks.
At her nod, I give her one more kiss then place her on her feet and start walking around the back way to skip the crowd. As we pass by a white trailer, Sam jerks me back, her feet rooting in place.
I turn to look at her. “What?”
She points to the trailer next to us, a mischievous smile on her face. “Let’s go in there.”
Glancing over, I see the logo of a cartoon fortuneteller named Madam Raman. “You can’t be serious.”
She bites her lip with a giggle. “Why not? It’ll be fun. Haven’t you ever been curious about this kind of stuff?”
“No. They’re a bunch of fucking crooks who rip people off by telling them what they want to hear.”
“Humor me anyway, will ya? I’ve always wanted to see one.”
When I make no move to oblige she grips the fabric of my opened button-down shirt and steps into me, bringing her sweet body flush against mine. “Please, for me?”
I relent with a growl, unable to say no to her. “Fine, but after this your ass is mine.”
“All yours,” she agrees.
Damn straight it is, and tonight I’m going to fucking own it.
“Come on.” Smiling excitedly, she takes my hand and drags me around to the front of the trailer where a couple is walking out, the girl giggling hysterically. Probably because she just had the most ridiculous experience of her life.
Once they’re out of the way, we climb up the few steps and enter to find a woman sitting at a small round table. She has the biggest hair I’ve ever seen. It’s vibrant red and wrapped with colorful scarves. A thousand bead necklaces adorn her neck that would put any Mardi Gras bitch to shame. If her appearance didn’t give her away then all the miniature glass bottles that are lined up on the shelf next to her that are labeled as love potion would have done the trick. The only thing this crazy chick is missing is a crystal ball.
“Ah yes, the pretty blonde, come in, come in. I’ve been expecting you both,” she says.
I try not to roll my eyes like a fucking chick and take the seat next to Sam as she sits down at the table.
“I’m not really quite sure how this works,” Sam says nervously. “I’ve never been to one of these before.”
“Don’t be nervous, honey. I don’t bite.”
“No, she just takes your money,” I grumble under my breath but not low enough.
“A skeptic,” she says, not seeming offended by my subtle outburst. “That’s all right, handsome. I already knew you would be but you’ll see. You all do eventually.” She returns her attention back to Sam. “So what are you wanting, sugar? Palm reading? Cards?”
“I’m not really sure. What do you suggest?”
“I do best with palms. Thirty dollars for a reading or fifty if he’s getting one, too,” she says, jerking her thumb at me. “But Mr. Happy Pants needs to comply otherwise it messes with my juju.”
I grunt. Her juju is nothing but bullshit, but I refrain from saying that out loud and instead throw thirty dollars on the table. “Just her.”
Sam looks at me. “You’re not going to get one, too?”
“You go ahead, baby. I’m good.”
“All right,” she says, disappointment evident in her voice. “I can pay for it myself.”
I intercept her when she reaches for her purse. “It’s fine. I got it.”
“No, it’s not. I’ll pay for it myself.”
“Don’t fight him on it, sugar. You won’t win. He’s always been this way with you,” Madam Juju cuts in, acting like she fucking knows me.
I grunt. “Sorry to bust your bubble, lady, but you’re already wrong. We just started dating.”
Sam gives me a gentle elbow to the ribs.
“I wasn’t talking about this lifetime, so you can put that smug smirk away until I’m finished.”
I feel Sam stiffen next to me. “This lifetime?”
“Yep. You two are soul mates and were mated in another life.”
You have got to be shitting me.
“Give me your hand, honey. I’ll tell you more.”
I’ll just bet she will.
Sam gives the lady her hand, palm up.
“You have a very old soul,” she starts, her finger dragging across Sam’s soft palm. “This line here is your lifeline and not just this life but it shows you have lived many.”
Sam follows the kook’s finger, listening intently.
“You’re very close with your family,” she continues.
“Yes, I am.”
She nods. “You always have been. You lost them when you were a young girl in a previous life. It’s one of the reasons you hold them so close to your heart now.”
My annoyance turns into anger, hating the way this bitch is striking Sam where I know her emotions run deep.
“You are a strong girl and have overcome a lot. Especially recently,” she says. “You have some more tough decisions to make, but follow your heart and it will lead you in the right direction.” The lady brings her attention to me. “Give me your hand, grumpy. I’m going to show you something.”
“I’m good,” I tell her, not bothering to hide my irritation.
“Give—me—your—hand.”
When I make no move to obey, Sam looks over at me, her eyes pleading. “Please?”
Letting out an annoyed breath, I place my hand on the table. The lady lifts mine and Sam’s together, placing them side by side then turns our palms toward us.
“Now, both of you curl your fingers in, just a little.”
I do as she says, curious what bullshit she’s going to spew next.
“Do you see it?”
Sam takes a closer look at our hands while I remain where I am, staring at the nut job across from me.
The lady leans over the table and uses her finger to trace the line she showed Sam earlier. Then she continues to mine, connecting the two of them.
Sam gasps.
“You see it now, yes?”
“Oh my gosh, yes. We make the shape of a perfect heart.”
“It’s the symbol of soul mates.”
“Oh, come on.” I glance over at Sam to see a look of wonderment on her face. “Tell me you’re not buying this bullshit?”
“It is not bullshit,” the lady argues. “You two are destined to be together. Sorry, for your luck, sugar,” she says, making me grunt as she tosses a sympathetic look Sam’s way. “He might be a hothead but he does love you.”
I tense, my blood heating at the line she just crossed. “Don’t put fucking words into my mouth.”
“Jase!” Sam bites out.
“We’re getting out of here. I’ve sat through this ridiculous shit long enough.” Jumping to my feet, I pull out her chair.
“You’re scared,” the lady says. “And it’s gonna bite you in the a
ss if you aren’t careful. You are being given a second chance. Don’t take it for granted.”
“And you are a fake! Enjoy your thirty bucks, lady.”
Taking Sam’s hand, I get us the hell out of there before I really lose my fucking cool. I weave in and out of the crowd, dragging her behind me as I head for the parking lot.
Once we make it to my truck, Sam rips her hand out of mine. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I turn back to find her glaring at me. “Me?”
“Yes, you. You’re acting like an asshole.”
I stare back at her incredulously. “You just finished listening to that nut job and you think I’m the asshole?”
“I don’t understand what you are so bent out of shape about.”
“I’m pissed that some phony filled my girl’s head with a bunch of bullshit and played on her emotions.”
“How do you know it’s bullshit? Look what she said about my family, that was accurate.”
“It’s an easy statement to make. How many fucking people aren’t close with their family?”
She crosses her arms. “Fine, then what about the heart symbol?”
“What about it? I’ll bet anyone who puts their hands together like that makes the symbol. She’s a fake, Sam. You can’t possibly think anything she said has merit. She sells love potion for christ’s sake.”
“Well, too bad she doesn’t sell a romance one, I would have bought a bottle and doused you in it!”
I grunt.
“Haven’t you felt it, Jase,” she whispers, her expression softer. “Like we’ve done this before? From the first moment you touched me, I swear my heart remembered it. How do you explain that?”
“We have a strong connection. That has never been questioned. That lady over there though”—I point toward the trailer—“her fucking sanity is questionable.”
“You don’t believe there could be the slightest possibility of past lives?”
“No. I don’t. I believe when we die we go to this great place where angels fly around with harps singing halle-fucking-lujah while we all hang out and have a good time. If I’m really lucky they’ll all be naked and look just like you.”
She doesn’t laugh like I hoped she would. Only a sad smile cracks her perfect lips, revealing all the broken pieces of her and igniting a storm of emotions inside of me.