by K. C. Lynn
“Fuck!” Austin bellows.
Dread curls its icy fingers around my heart, robbing me of precious air. I stare up into the young girl’s glassy eyes, watching helplessly as blood gurgles from her lips.
“You heard him, Crawford. Out!” the captain yells.
“Please don’t leave me,” she cries, her voice drowning in her own blood.
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” Knowing I need to move fast, I quickly reach for my utility knife and begin sawing through her seatbelt.
“Crawford! I said get out! That’s a fucking order!”
Ignoring the captain, I continue my task, my hands fucking shaking with urgency as I try to free her. “I’m going to get you out of here, Samantha, but we have to move quickly, okay?”
“’Kay,” she complies, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Hawke, help me!”
Austin is already there, dropped down next to my waist. I feel bad putting him in this position, knowing he’s deliberately disobeying the captain’s orders.
Once I cut through the seatbelt, I carefully bring her down on top of me only to hear her let out a cry of pain.
“Easy, I got you.”
Austin drags us out as I hold her close. As we clear the car, I can feel the intense heat and hear the roar of flames.
“Go, go, go!”
Cradling her to my chest, I run in the opposite direction of the car. Once I’m far enough away, I lower her onto the ground and see blood purging past her lips, her breathing labored.
“Stay with me, Samantha.” I begin chest compressions but with every pump she fades further from me. “Come on!” I grind out, grief gripping my frantic heart.
I don’t stop until the paramedics shove me out of the way, but I remain by her side, not leaving her like I promised. However, there was nothing any of us could do. She died right there on the highway next to me, her young life cut short because of one senseless choice.
“I swear, man, I never saw her. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
I twist my head and find the cops talking to the stumbling asshole. It’s then I let my emotions get the best of me. Getting to my feet, I run at him, rage pumping viciously through my veins. “You son of a bitch!”
Austin’s there to take me down before I have the chance to reach him. “Let it go. It won’t bring her back.”
Maybe not, but it will make me feel a lot fucking better to make him hurt, have him endure the pain she felt moments before her death.
“Samantha!”
The frantic voice snaps me out of my anger. Both Austin and I crane back to see a lady in her pajamas, running to where Samantha lies lifeless on the ground, but a cop is there to intercept her before she can reach the paramedics.
“Please, let me go. That’s my baby.”
I watch the cop murmur something to her and realize he’s telling her the devastating news.
The most agonizing scream pierces the night air as she drops to her knees. Her cries of devastation are ones that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Oftentimes, people call us heroes, but we aren’t. Not always. Sometimes our best isn’t good enough, and for the first time in my career—mine wasn’t. I couldn’t save her. Now, her blood covers my hands and will stain my soul forever.
CHAPTER 17
Sam
A sound startles me awake. Lying in the quiet dark of my room, I listen. A few moments pass before I hear it again and realize there’s someone at my door.
“What on earth?” I mumble and glance at the clock to see it’s three in the morning. Concern plagues me as I wonder who it could be since Jase is at work, and even if he wasn’t I doubt it would be him. We still haven’t spoken since our fight. The reminder has pain slicing through my fragile heart.
I begin to wonder if it’s Zoey and if something has happened to Chrissy but surely she would call if she needs me.
Tentatively, I climb out of bed and slip on my silk robe, my tired eyes gritty and raw. I walk out into my living room, keeping my steps quiet. The knock sounds again, louder this time, and elicits a yelp from me.
“Sam, it’s me. Open up!”
Jase?
Something in his voice has me moving quickly. Gripping the handle, I look through the peephole just to make sure then swing open the door. The sight I’m met with has my heart squeezing painfully in my chest. Jase stands with his arms braced on the doorframe, his head hanging in defeat. The misery on his handsome face striking me all the way to my soul.
He looks so lost…broken.
“Jase, what is it? What’s wrong?” I step closer, my hand finding his strong jaw. The roughness of his damp cheek sends my thundering heart sinking straight to my stomach.
Without a word, his arms come around me and his mouth steals mine in the most devastating kiss I’ve ever felt. Tears burn the back of my throat, yet, for the first time since our fight, my heart lights up at the feel of his lips against mine.
My arms circle his neck, pulling him in, giving him everything I have, hoping it’s enough to take away whatever has him so upset. Picking me up off my feet, he kicks the door closed behind him and carries me into my room.
Seconds later, my back meets the bed, his hard body blanketing mine. He unties my robe, peeling it open before his large hands smooth over the soft surface of my matching satin tank top and shorts, eliciting goose bumps across my skin.
“I need you,” he whispers against my lips, his voice guttural.
“You have me. Always.”
With urgent hands, we quickly remove each other’s clothes, connecting skin-to-skin—soul-to-soul. The moment he enters me, my shattered world feels whole again. Nothing else matters but this—us.
His groan vibrates against my neck where his face is buried. “I missed you so fucking much.”
“Me, too. So much.” My fingers get lost in the grooves of his back as he moves inside of me with absolute perfection, each stroke more beautifully devastating than the last.
He lifts his face to trail soft kisses across my cheekbone before bringing his lips to my ear. “Samantha,” he breathes. “My Samantha.”
It’s not only the possession in his voice that has me completely falling apart, but also the conviction in it. The sob I’ve been trying to hold back rips from me, the significance of this moment is something I will remember forever.
“Say it, baby.”
“Your Samantha,” I whisper back, tears spilling down my cheeks.
I am his; I think I always have been, even before I knew it. Which is why I have a very hard decision to make because I can’t lose this. Not now and not ever.
After we finish making love, he holds me in the dark, both of us silent. Words are useless right now. Our kisses. Our touches. They said everything that needed to be said.
At least for now.
The sound of his steady heartbeat under my cheek and the warm safety of his arms lull me back to sleep. But just as I slip off, I could have sworn I heard him whisper, “Don’t leave me.”
CHAPTER 18
Jase
The following morning, I wake up to be greeted by the face of an angel, one that I would give anything to wake up to every morning for the rest of my life.
Yeah…I’m that fucked.
Regret still weighs down on me from the night before, but I can finally breathe again and that’s thanks to the girl next to me. She was the only one who could have brought me out from the dark place I was in. She didn’t ask questions. She didn’t need to know what happened. But she knew exactly what I needed.
And it was her.
Her soft hand rests on the side of my face, thumb stroking my jaw. “Morning,” she whispers.
I pull her warm, naked body in closer. “Morning.”
“Do you want to talk about last night?”
“Not really,” I answer honestly.
I wouldn’t know where to start. It was the worst night of my life, definitely of my career. But I know it was not
as shitty as that girl’s parents’. My chest tightens at the memory of her mother. It turns out she was waiting for Samantha to get home from work but when she was late and didn’t pick up she knew something was wrong and tracked her phone.
Sometimes, technology isn’t a good thing.
I’ve been on hundreds of calls but this one meant something more than the others. Her name only added to the blazing anger and regret inside of me but it also opened my eyes to what I have and what I could potentially lose.
I ended up being sent home by one pissed off captain, which is why I came here. I’m praying I didn’t fuck up my career. I love my job and respect my captain, but I couldn’t walk away from that car without Samantha, even if it meant dying with her. I had to at least try. Unfortunately, in the end, it didn’t matter.
Sam places a kiss on my burning chest. “Let me have a shower then we’ll talk.”
Talk. Yeah, we need to talk. I’m assuming she means about the other night but the conversation weighing heavily on mind is the one where I tell her I can’t let her go. I can’t lose her. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and even if we have to do it from hundreds of miles away, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her.
She rolls out of bed, giving me an incredible view of her naked body before she shields it with her soft pink robe. The one I couldn’t get off her fast enough last night.
Sitting up, I move to the side of the bed and grab her around the waist before she can walk away, burying my face into her soft stomach.
Her slender fingers sift through my hair. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, baby. As long as I have you, I’m good.”
Her arms curl around my neck, hugging me back for another few moments before I let her go.
“I’ll be fast,” she promises, before walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
As the shower turns on, I consider joining her, but before I can make the decision there’s a knock on the door. Pulling on my jeans, I swipe my shirt off the floor and walk out of the room. I toss it over my head as I open the door and freeze when I see who’s on the other side of it.
Well fuck.
Definitely not someone I expected or want to see for that matter, especially right now.
His shocked expression only lasts a second before his eyes narrow with the same hatred I have brewing inside of me. “So, it’s fucking true. My sister’s been slumming.”
I relax against the doorframe when I feel anything but and say the first hateful thing I can think of. “You had to know payback was going to happen sooner or later, Evans.”
I don’t get the chance to regret the words before his fist connects with the side of my jaw, pain exploding throughout my head. I strike back, all the anger and resentment that’s been built up over the years boils over, drowning us both in nothing but revenge.
*
Sam
Before I can step into the shower, I turn off the water, thinking I heard a knock on my door. Pulling my robe back on, I walk out of the bathroom. “Jase is that someone at my door?”
“So, it’s fucking true. My sister’s been slumming.”
My feet falter as I make it into the hallway; Sawyer’s voice laced with disdain sends my heart plummeting.
Oh god. What’s he doing here?
“You had to know payback was going to happen sooner or later, Evans.”
I flinch; his words are like a hot iron, painfully striking my soul. I can’t find my breath, my knees growing weak.
How could he say that?
I’m knocked out of the painful fog when I see Jase stumble backward, my brother coming at him full force.
“You’re fucking dead, Crawford!”
Jase meets him head-on, both of them crashing to the floor in a fit of rage as they match each other blow for blow.
“Both of you, stop it right now!” I run over to where they grapple in front of my kitchen island, their fists striking out hard and fast. “Please stop!” I scream, a sob tearing from me, terrified they’re going to kill each other.
I look around for something that will help me break them apart and my eyes land on the sprayer attached to the kitchen sink. Reaching over, I turn on the cold tap water then yank the hose out as far as it will go and squeeze the handle.
Cold water rains down on them both.
“What the fuck?” Sawyer bellows.
It gives me the split-second I need. Moving quickly, I grab Sawyer’s shirt and push Jase away at the same time before wedging myself between them, knowing they won’t go through me to get to each other.
“What the hell is the matter with you two?” Angry tears threaten to spill over, but I valiantly hold them in as I stare back and forth between two men I love more than anything in this world. One who just deliberately broke my heart. “Sawyer, go into my room,” I tell him, but my gaze is focused on Jase who has yet to look me in the eye.
“I’m not fucking going anywhere.”
I turn on him, letting him see my pain and anger. “You either go into my room or you leave and never come back.”
We both know I’m serious. I don’t say things unless I mean them. His jaw tenses but he’s smart enough to listen and reluctantly leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.
I refocus my attention back to Jase and watch him wipe blood from his busted lip. “Payback, Jase? Really?” I grind out, my heart cracking as I repeat the hurtful words.
“I didn’t mean it,” he says, his breathing harsh and angry. But he still refuses to look at me, keeping his eyes trained on the floor.
“Then why did you say it?” I snap.
His eyes finally lift to mine, and while I see regret, I also find so much anger. “Because I fucking hate him, and I always will. That’s never going to change, Sam!”
His words rip through my already wounded heart, ending what could have been a beautiful future. It was only minutes ago I had made the decision to stay because I loved him too much to leave, but it doesn’t matter. Not anymore. He will never let go of this vendetta against my brother, someone who has the same blood as me running through his veins.
“I hate you too, asshole!” Sawyer yells from the other end of the door.
Shaking my head, I swallow past my burning throat. “Get out.”
“Sam…” he starts but trails off.
“I said get out!”
His eyes hold mine, pleading yet resolved before he finally moves for the door. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
I look away, unable to watch him walk out of my life forever. The sound of the door closing drives the final nail into my mangled heart. I cover my mouth with both hands, trying to breathe through the excruciating pain in my chest.
I hear the click of my bedroom door and feel my brother’s presence. With a blurry gaze, I look up into his green eyes, the same color as mine, and see so much betrayal in them, adding to all the emotions suffocating me.
“How did you find out?” I ask.
“Anonymous phone call.” His voice is tight, sounding as angry as he looks.
I shake my head, having a pretty damn good idea who it was.
That meddling bitch.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Oh, I think it is,” he says. “My own sister sleeping with the fucking enemy.”
My head snaps back up, fury overriding my pain. “This isn’t about you, Sawyer!”
“How the fuck can you say that? This has everything to do with me.”
“No, it doesn’t. This is about me and my feelings. What I had with him has nothing to do with you!” I scream back but my anger quickly turns to devastation. “I love him, and I thought he loved me.” The sob I’ve been holding in finally breaks free. It tumbles past my lips and is so painful it steals my breath.
Sawyer’s hard expression softens. With a heated curse he moves closer, wrapping me in his protective arms as I sob on his shoulder, tears of pain and agony soaking his shirt.
“Come home, Sam,” he murmurs against the top of my head. “We’ll take care of you.”
Home.
Something I thought I finally found with Jase, but I was wrong. The thought has me crying harder. There’s nothing left for me here.
Not anymore.
CHAPTER 19
Jase
With a black eye and swollen jaw, I sit across from my captain, who still looks as pissed as he did when he sent me home the other night.
“You’re a fucking mess,” he states, as if I didn’t already know this.
My entire world is in fucking shambles. I just lost the only girl I’ll ever love all because I let my anger run my mouth, and now I’m probably going to lose the career I’ve spent my life working for.
He doesn’t elaborate further on my battered face and cuts right to the chase. “What the hell were you thinking disobeying orders the other night?”
“I’m sorry,” I offer the apology but it’s weak.
“Are you?”
Silence hangs heavy in the air, the lie dangling in the back of my throat, but I can’t do it. “No. I’m not. And I’m going to be honest and tell you that I would do it again.”
“The hell you will! You know the rules, Crawford.”
“Fuck the rules!” I snap. “At what cost do we follow those rules, Cap? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing as me. You wouldn’t have left her in that fucking car and we both know it.”
He eases off, resting back into his chair. “Maybe not, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right decision. You put yourself and Hawke in danger when you knew she wasn’t going to make it.”
“Yeah, but at least I did everything I could.” I shake my head, trying to ward off the memories. “I’ll never forget the look on her face. For as long as I live that image will haunt me. If I had left her there then I would have never known and her blood would be on me. I couldn’t live with that, Cap. I’d rather die with her.”
He stares back at me, his expression somber. “Listen, I don’t want anyone dying on my watch either but sometimes, even despite our best efforts, we can’t save them all. You made a reckless decision and not only put yourself at risk but Hawke, too. We want to save lives but not at the cost of our own. You cannot help anyone if you’re dead.”