by Shealy James
“You can play anything, can’t you?”
“I can listen to a song and pick it up fairly easily, but I also read music which helps a lot. If I try to pick a song up on my own, it will be rough, but after a lot of trial and error, I can usually figure it out. The rock songs with multiple guitars are harder for me to pick up, which is why I prefer to learn them.”
I tested his ability to play by ear with songs on my phone. I even played him some songs from my secret Taylor Swift play list that I don’t listen to with anyone around. He laughed at my little secret but admitted to liking some of the songs on there. He really could pick up a little bit from every song I tried.
“That is amazing and explains a lot. You’re really talented. You shouldn’t sell yourself short.”
His looked down, smiled and shook his head. “Play the next song Mags.” My heart fluttered at the nickname that I usually don’t like. Hearing him call me “Mags” made it feel different than when my parents or Max use it. This time it was endearing.
By the time Max texted about meeting him for dinner, Sarah had also texted saying she was back and wanted to hang out. We all ended up meeting up, and it was the four of us again. It was a great night and turned out to be a rare one because as soon as the semester started, life kept us all busy. Max spent most of his time with Becca. I hardly ever saw Sarah unless we were getting ready to go out. Wade had a similar schedule to me and Parker, so when he wasn’t in class or working out, Sarah was with him. I practically had a room to myself for the whole semester.
The weather had turned and spring had officially arrived. Before I knew it my first year of college was ending. I felt like I had really come into my own over the past several months, and I was dreading finals and summer. A week before the end of the semester I was running outside on a Saturday morning by myself when I ran into Garrett. I had seen him off and on, but there were always teammates around, so we never really said anything other than hello to each other.
This time he stopped me. “Hey Maggie. How’s it going?”
“Hey! How are you?” I greeted him surprised that he had approached me. We had hung out a few times during the soccer season, but he pretty much avoided conversation with me.
He pushed his messy hair off his forehead, and I noticed how attractive he was. He was no Parker, but he was cute.
“Good, good. I’m heading to the gym. You going or just running?”
“Running. It is so nice out today,” I said opening up my arms to gesture to the comfortable weather.
“It is really nice. It would be a great day for a picnic.”
“It would.” I agreed and smiled at him.
“You up for one?”
I must have looked surprised because then he elaborated. “I mean that is if you’re available. I would hate to step on anyone else’s toes.”
Now I was confused. I tilted my head to the side and asked, “What do you mean?”
“Parker told me not to call you. I assumed you and he were…You two aren’t dating, are you?”
Anger flooded my brain. Parker told him not to call me! “What? No. Parker and I were never dating. He’s Max’s roommate and a friend. Nothing more. What did he tell you?”
“He asked me not to call you when he heard I asked for your number at the beginning of the year.” I was reeling at his admission. Why would Parker do that? I had wondered why Garrett never called and then avoided me, but I figured he wasn’t that into me. I was really mad at both Parker and Max because I had a feeling Max put Parker up to this. Why else would Parker get involved?
I snapped out of my thoughts and focused on the very cute guy right in front of me. “Huh. Well, I’m free, and no, you aren’t stepping on anyone’s toes.”
“Cool. How about I meet you at your dorm at noon, and we can go to the park? If you bring a blanket, I’ll bring food.”
“Sounds great. See you then.”
We went our separate ways and instead of finishing my run up to the soccer fields, I ran straight to the boys’ dorm. I ran up to their room and flung open the door, not caring what they were doing. They could have been jumping on their beds naked for all I cared (ok, I may have cared a little because I would have secretly laughed at them after I finished yelling at them), but I was going to deal with them now. They were on their computers and both jumped when I threw open the door.
I looked at Parker and almost shouted, “Why did you tell Garrett not to call me?” I turned to Max, “Did you make him do this? I get enough of this shit from Daddy; I don’t need you keeping people away from me as well. I’m a big girl Max! I can handle going on one date!”
Max looked shocked, “Mags,” he tried using the stupid nickname to placate me, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Shit.” Parker muttered as he rubbed his hand over his hair. “Sorry Maggie. I told him not to call you. Garrett isn’t the kind of guy you should be going out with. He isn’t looking for a girlfriend; he is looking for conquests.”
Argh! I can handle myself. “Who cares? Who are you to decide whom I should date? Maybe that is precisely the kind of guy I want. At least the decision would be mine. I know it is hard to believe that a dumb girl like me can deal with you big, bad boys, but I can handle myself. I know how to say no.” Max snorted. “What is that for?”
“Maggie, no offense, but you’re the biggest doormat ever. You won’t even stand up to your mom or your bitchy sisters, how are you going to tell a guy no if you don’t want to do something that he wants to do? You have never even had to talk to a boy that you didn’t want to because you have always been able to hide behind me or your daddy.”
I stood there stunned. That wasn’t true. I never had the opportunity to do anything but hide behind Max and Daddy. I was beyond mad now. “You know what? You two mind your own damn business. I’ll make decisions about me, and when I need your help I’ll ask for it.” With that I slammed the door and ran back to my dorm to shower and get ready for my picnic.
Garrett knocked on my door right at noon. I opened it, and he smiled brightly as he looked me up and down. “You look great.” I wasn’t offended by his perusal; I was flattered. I had on the purple top that Sarah picked out for me the first time we went out and some white shorts with silver sandals, but I did have my hair down and straightened, which was rare.
Garrett did most of the talking on our picnic. He seemed at ease, which was good because I definitely was really nervous. This was officially my first date. It was everything I had hoped for too. He was really funny, and we surprisingly had a lot in common.
After we had been there for a while, there was a quiet moment before he said, “So I should tell you...” He paused for a moment, which made me nervous. What could he have to say? What could I have possibly done wrong in the past two hours that would make him want to end this? We weren’t even dating. This was the first time we have ever hung out.
“I’m leaving after finals. I’m going home to Boston, and then I fly to London on August first to study abroad. I won’t be back until January next year. I know I shouldn’t have asked you out knowing I was leaving, but I knew we would have fun. I have wanted to ask you out since I met you in the lunchroom, but Parker was so...protective.”
“Don’t worry about Parker. He and Max are overprotective because of my dad. I’ve had a lot of fun today too, but I understand. I’m going home for summer too. I’m sure you will go and have a great time in London.” I didn’t want him to know how bummed I was about not getting to hang out with him again.
“If you get some time during this week, maybe we could have dinner. After finals, maybe I could email and call you?”
“Sure. That sounds good.” I smiled at him. He was really going to try to stay in touch with me. The thought alone made me smile. Then he did something I really never expected. He kissed me, a real kiss. He pressed his lips to mine and stayed there for a second. He pulled back and looked down at me smiling. When I smiled back, he pressed his lips to mine
again. This time, he opened his mouth a little, and I did the same. Our tongues touched gently; it was so soft and gentle and sweet. It was the perfect first kiss, but there were no fireworks. Who cares? I don’t really need fireworks. When it was over, I couldn’t help but smile at him.
By the time I was back at the dorm and checked my phone, I had six missed calls, three from Max, one from Parker, one from Sarah and one from my sister, Catherine. I also had several texts from Max and Parker.
Max: Where are you? Lunch?
Max: Ignoring me? Are you still mad?
Max: I swear I didn’t know. Come on Mags. I’m sorry about what I said.
Max: I’m coming over to your dorm.
Max: Ok. You’re out. Not ignoring me?
That must be why Sarah called.
Max: Wait…are you out with Garrett?
Parker’s started shortly after Max’s.
Parker: Max said you aren’t writing back. He really had nothing to do with Garrett.
Parker: By the way, I really am sorry. Please don’t be mad at either of us.
Parker: Meet us at the Tavern for dinner. 7?
Just then my phone buzzed again. Carolyn was calling this time. I hit ignore and threw it on my bed. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt before deciding that I should go meet Max for dinner. I still couldn’t take the smile off my face when I hopped in my car.
I typed out a quick text to Max, Parker, and Sarah, and headed to the Tavern. I was annoyed with what Parker did, but I wasn’t going to stay mad after having such a great day with Garrett. We only had a week before summer, and after a great year, I didn’t want it to end on a bad note.
On the other hand, I wasn’t about to tell Max and Parker where I was all day. Sarah texted and asked for a ride from the library, and I was glad to have the car ride to tell her everything that happened.
At the Tavern I kept catching Parker eyeing me suspiciously. He could be suspicious all he wanted; I was not telling him anything about Garrett. Why should Parker care about Garrett anyway? He was obviously the one who wanted to just be friends. He had a million opportunities for more if he was interested. He obviously wasn’t, and the frustration I was feeling at this point made me actually want to go home. At least I knew where I stood with everyone at home. With Parker, I didn’t know anymore.
Sophomore Year
Chapter 7
Parker
I was hoping that after summer I wouldn’t be so hung up on Maggie. No luck. First she was on my mind all summer long because we hardly spoke. Then the first time I saw her once we were back at school, she was in shorts with a tank top that did nothing but make me wonder what was under the shirt. Her tan legs looked toned and long, her ass was as perfect as always, and then she turned around and smiled at me. I was about to move towards her when her dad walked up behind her, which was like having a bucket of ice water poured right on my junk.
After all of the parents left, our group headed straight to our Tavern. We caught up on our summers and laughed at all of Sarah’s ridiculous farm stories. Apparently the one time Wade visited her, they were getting busy in the barn, and he couldn’t keep it up with the horses “watching” him. It didn’t get better when her dad caught them half naked behind the barn either.
The rest of our summer’s seemed dull in comparison. I told them about playing with the band. Maggie shared her latest battles with her mother that resulted in her mother ignoring her for three weeks, which she claimed was her favorite part of the summer. Max talked about visiting Becca and meeting her ultra liberal family. It all felt normal, and I was glad to be back.
Everything was going great until one Wednesday in September when Maggie and I were walking to lunch from class. We were talking and laughing when I heard his voice. “Parker?” I turned to find Pops walking towards us. “How’s it going, Son?”
“Hey Pops.” I mumbled. “Maggie this is my dad; Pops this is Maggie.”
“Hi Dr. Pryce. Nice to meet you.” She held out her hand, and he happily accepted it.
“Hey Maggie. I hope you’re the one helping him study. Lord knows Parker would rather hang out with girls from the bar or play the guitar than do anything productive. Oh! Speaking of guitar, I’m thinking of cleaning out your mom’s music room to make an office. If you want anything, you should come claim it and either bring it to the dorm or move it to your bedroom in the house.”
My anger immediately took over. He kept trying to pretend like she never even existed, and I was not okay with that. “Pops, no. You can’t get rid of her stuff. You can’t do this. Her music room stays just the way it is. Don’t you dare move a thing!” I practically growled at him.
“Parker, I think it’s time to move on. It would be better for everyone if we stopped pretending she was coming home. You didn’t go in there once this summer, so there’s no reason to keep all of that for no one to use.”
“Fine. Whatever. I’ll be there Saturday to pick up her instruments.” I started to walk away, and it was a minute before I realized that Maggie was still walking beside me. She didn’t say anything, but I could feel her waiting for me to say something. I was so angry, and I certainly didn’t need her pity. “Don’t look at me like that Maggie. Mind your own business.”
Instantly her head dropped. Great! I hurt her feelings. We walked the rest of the way to meet Max for lunch with Maggie staring at her feet, which made me feel even worse. I hadn’t even noticed when she had started holding eye contact with me, but I definitely noticed that she went back to hiding the second I made her uncomfortable.
At lunch I could hear her and Max talking, but I couldn’t make out the words. All I could think about was what Pops said. Our family built that music room. It took years to select the best instruments, and we soundproofed the walls because Pops used to complain when we would try to learn new instruments when he was working. Pops, Preston, and I built the studio, so Mom could record her music before she became too sick. That room was special.
Mom and I sat in the music room every day after she found out she was sick, even on her bad days. Eventually she became too sick to play anything, so I would learn every song she requested with her guidance. I would play any instrument she wanted to hear. We spent so many hours in that room that I started to feel like it was our own world where she was my mom and my music teacher, not the sick woman who was shrinking before my very eyes. Now, Pops was trying to tear our private world apart, and I couldn’t take that.
I couldn’t sit at the lunch table anymore. I wasn’t hungry, and I couldn’t sit there with Maggie knowing what Pops had said and how I reacted. I had to get out of there and move. I stood up abruptly causing my chair to screech across the tile floor. I didn’t say anything to Max and Maggie when I grabbed my bag and walked out of the student union. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I couldn’t stay there.
Maggie
“What was that all about?” Max asked.
I sighed deeply. “I don’t know. We just saw his dad, and he asked him to move some of his mom’s stuff out of some music room. Parker lost it. It was something about his mom. You know she died a couple of years ago, right?” Max nodded. “Well, I guess it was her music room.”
“Damn.” Max stared at the doors that Parker had walked through as he thought about what I said.
My heart hurt for Parker. “I feel bad for him. He is obviously really upset. He snapped at me outside, and I didn’t even say anything.”
“I could tell something was up. I thought you two had gotten in a fight. I was about to ask you what you did.”
I knew he was joking, but I wasn’t up to his teasing just then. “I’m going to go see if I can talk to him. I’ll see you in class.” I headed outside, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. He wasn’t in our class later either. I felt bad for Parker, but I didn’t really understand why he was so upset. I have never been through anything nearly as traumatic as losing someone close to me, so I have never experienced the emotions that go along with it. Parke
r seemed to bottle everything up, which I’m sure didn’t help at all. The one thing I understood was that he didn’t want to get rid of his mom’s instruments, but on the other hand, his dad was right about moving on. It must be hard for him to live in the house where they all once happily resided.
Later that evening I met up with Max for dinner. He still hadn’t seen Parker. I was thinking he probably went home to clean out the music room, but I had a feeling that wasn’t going to make him feel better about anything. If anything, it would make me feel worse. I didn’t know for sure if Parker had anyone to talk to if he wanted. I desperately wanted to be that person if it would help him deal with his mother’s death, so in a moment of bravery I decided to give it a try. Max would do it for me and I would for Max, so maybe I could help Parker too.
Me: Meet me at the fields.
Parker: Not tonight.
Me: Please. I have an idea.
Parker: Fine. Be there in 10.
I waited at the fields for twenty or so minutes before I heard his car pull up. As I was waiting, I had laid down on the field like I always did at home to look up at the sky. It was dark, but the lights that illuminated the fields were bright. Beyond the lights the sky was dark. There were no stars. Instead I focused on the lights. The moths and other bugs that swarmed the glow made me think. Parker is light, drawing people in. Which was I? Was I light or a moth? The thought disturbed me, so I stood from the ground and dribbled the ball between my feet. When Parker came up twirling his keys, I had just started taking shots on goal.
“What’s going on Maggie?”
“I thought we could shoot for a while, and if you want to talk you can. If you don’t then I won’t push you. I thought you could use an hour or so where you didn’t have to think. You can just play.”
“Maggie, I don’t really have time for this.” He started walking away. I ran up and grabbed his arm and stood in front of him.
“Please. Just stay and shoot with me.” At that he dropped his head and gave in to me. He took the ball from me then dribbled away.