by Shealy James
Parker was at the bar talking to a half-dressed blond girl. She was leaning into him and had her hand on his arm. She flipped her stupid hair over her shoulder as she leaned closer to him practically resting her giant boobs on his arm. It was nothing unusual, but this was a new girl. For some reason that bothered me more than if it had been Brandi or Alexis or the other girl at the bar whose name I can never remember…Cassie…Callie…Candy…some C name.
He and the new girl seemed pretty chummy, so I went and sat back down with the group. The longer I sat there, the more it bothered me. He wasn’t my boyfriend, so I had no right to be jealous, right? Knowing we weren’t together and not feeling anything for him were two different things. I was used to having his attention, and then on random nights, he would find someone else to entertain him. I guess they were willing to do things that he wouldn’t ask of me because he guarded my innocence almost more than Daddy or Max did. I felt like bursting into tears right there in the club, and I couldn’t even use the excuse of PMS.
Since we had all walked to the club that night, I had to walk back to the dorms. I didn’t really want to walk home alone, but I also didn’t want to stay and watch Parker flirt with yet another girl. My insides literally were aching with the thoughts I had swirling in my head. I had never felt like this over a dumb boy, and all I wanted to do was get out of there.
I grabbed Max’s attention and told him that I didn’t feel well. It was the truth after all; I didn’t feel good. In fact I felt horrible. I didn’t want the third degree that Sarah would give me, so I had pulled Max aside.
He looked at me concerned. I never complained about feeling bad, so I know he thought it was weird. “I’ll walk you. You ok?”
“Yeah. I need to get out of here.”
“Yeah. Let me tell Parker.”
“No! Let’s just go. Sarah can tell him.”
“Ok.” He turned and said something in Becca’s ear. She nodded and looked at me with a worried expression. I waved it off.
We said bye to Sarah and Wade and left. When we got to the dorm I thanked them and went straight to my room. Frustrated with myself, I let myself be upset for a little while and then resigned myself to the fact that Parker would never see me as anything other than a friend. The only reason we were such good friends was because we were the fifth and sixth wheels, and I knew about his mom. I was going to have to learn to live with it. Now I needed to find a way to get my heart to agree with my brain.
Chapter 9
Parker
Saturday night we all went to the club like we used to all the time. The girls were dancing when I offered to go get us drinks. At the bar I ran into Lauren, a girl from high school who had been a friend of mine in elementary and middle school up until I started spending all of my free time in the music room. Her brother was a friend of Preston, so we saw each other fairly often after Mom passed until we graduated. Our friendship was never really the same, but she was still that same girl I grew up with. She was telling me about other people we graduated with, and we laughed and joked about how people never really change. It was cool catching up with her.
When I made it back to the table, Max, Maggie, and Becca were gone. Sarah told me that Maggie was sick, and I was instantly worried. I tried to text her, but she didn’t respond. Max was with her though, so I knew he would make sure she was ok. That didn’t stop me from worrying though.
The next morning, I called her to go run, and she said that she didn’t feel up to it. I offered to bring her soup, and she said she didn’t want anything. She didn’t meet me at the library that day either, and we always studied on Sundays. I saw her in class the next day, but she didn’t really talk to me.
“You still feeling bad?” I asked her at lunch.
“Yeah, I guess,” she responded with a shrug.
“Going to practice today?”
“Yeah.” She wouldn’t look up at me.
“Maggie, it may be worse for you to play if your body isn’t up to it.”
She snapped at that, “I’m fine, Parker. Leave me alone.” She got up and walked out of the student union leaving me stunned and Max confused.
“What’s going on with her?” I asked Max.
“Beats me. I’ll call her later.” He watched her walk out of the room seeming as concerned as I was. After a few moments he shrugged and went back to whatever he was typing on his laptop.
“She didn’t run yesterday or this morning.”
He looked back at the door like he could still see her walking through it. “Hmm. She gets crabby for a week every now and then. She’ll be ok.”
I had known Maggie over a year now and never seen her like this. For the rest of the week, I hardly saw her. She was in class and at practice, and she ran with me every morning, but we didn’t really talk. I decided to leave it alone. If she wanted to talk then she would, or I hoped so anyway.
The following Saturday the girls had a girls’ night out, so Max and I went out with a couple of other guys from my soccer team to The Ale House. It kept my mind off Maggie and how weird she had been acting. Unfortunately the distraction came from watching Wade flirt with some skank at the bar. Max and I were trying to keep him away from the girl knowing what Sarah would think of his antics, but he wasn’t interested in hanging out with us. We were about to leave his ass there, but Max, who’d had way too much to drink, started trying to dance with a couple of older women, and that was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I forgot all about Wade’s shenanigans.
The next few weeks were better with Maggie, but she had definitely changed. She did a lot more on her own, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was upset with me. She never said anything, and I was trying not to pry. Every time I asked her what was going on, she said that school was overwhelming, but I knew her better than that. She was herself with everyone but me. With me she was more quiet and reserved, more like she was our first semester at school. She never told me anything anymore, and the only reason I knew what was going on in her life was because Sarah couldn’t keep her mouth shut if someone duct taped it closed.
In late April, a couple of weeks before finals, Maggie’s parents came up for her birthday weekend. They took us all to dinner to celebrate on Friday night. It was then that her dad let her know he had invested in a property up here, and he wanted her to live in it since it was near school. The next afternoon we all went to check out the house and found a two-story house that had been completely gutted and renovated. It had four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, and a really nice backyard.
“Your dad bought all of this?” I whispered to her as we toured the house.
She didn’t even look at me as she opened the door to the closet in the master bedroom, which would be her room. “Yeah. Daddy can be extravagant. He really bought it for me and Max, but there seems to be room for guests. I hope those rooms aren’t so they can visit.” She looked terrified at that thought, which made me laugh. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and her whole body went stiff. I frowned and pulled my arm away. She used to melt into my touch. Now she seemed uncomfortable with me.
Back down in the kitchen, Mrs. Miller was discussing decorations with a very excited Sarah while Max and Jim talked about staying here through the summer. Max stopped the conversation when he lit up like a light bulb had gone off in his head. “What if Parker and Sarah moved in? Parker and I can share the Jack and Jill bathroom, and Sarah can take the other empty room. Sarah, you said that you were dreading finding housing next year. Parker, you hadn’t decided what you were going to do.”
Mr. Miller looked between us and nodded. “I think that is a good idea, Max. The more people that live here, the more security there is for my little girl. What do you think, Kid?”
Maggie shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
Sarah clapped her hands giddily. “Yes. Yes. Yes. I love this idea. When do we move in? Can we stay here all summer and hang out? I do not want to go back to the farm!”
“Actually, yes. I told
Maggie she can stay here for summer if she takes classes. That will be easier with soccer practice anyway,” Mrs. Miller said in her formal tone.
Maggie turned away from her mother. “We move in Memorial Day weekend. That is when the furniture is being delivered. My mother likes to decorate, so she picked out everything for every room, but you can change your room however you want as far as I am concerned.” Mrs. Miller pressed her lips together, but she didn’t say anything. I was sure Maggie would be getting an earful later.
“I’m so excited. Mrs. Miller, you know I love pink! I bet I’ll love whatever you have picked our.” Sarah said in a singsong voice.
“Well, at least one person appreciates my good taste,” Mrs. Miller said. Maggie turned and rolled her eyes, so her mother couldn’t see her. I laughed silently.
“Parker, what do you think?” Max asked. “Are you going to leave me here alone with the girls? You know how crazy they get.”
I looked around the house and then back at Maggie. I wasn’t sure if I could live with Maggie or if she even wanted me there. Things had been so weird lately. She was a great friend, but she was also Maggie...beautiful, innocent, perfect Maggie. She was the girl I had wanted for the past two years, the girl I could never have. Could I deal with knowing she was only a doorway away in bed every night? Hmm. Maggie would be in bed in the room next to me every night. I would see her first thing in the morning and at the end of each night. Maybe I wouldn’t mind.
“Are you sure you don’t mind, Mr. Miller? I don’t want you to cut my balls off.”
Mr. Miller laughed. “Glad to hear it, son. You have made it two years keeping your hands to yourself. I think it would be fine. Besides, I like the idea of Maggie having extra security.
“Don’t use my safety as an excuse,” Maggie told her dad. “I know you don’t want Max to be the only guy in the house.”
Mrs. Miller wrapped her arm through her husbands. “Can you blame him Margaret Anne? Daddy spent the last twenty-seven years living with all women.”
Maggie’s parents headed back home after that, and we all piled in Maggie’s car to head back to the dorms. As soon as the door was shut, Sarah squealed and clapped her hands, “Yay! This is gonna be so fun! We can have parties and cook. Wade can spend the night here with me. I. Am. So. Excited!” She cheered as she bounced up and down in her seat.
Before any of this could happen, we had to make it through finals though. Maggie and I were at the library almost every night. We had research papers to finish in addition to our finals. Maggie was stressed out about her physics class, and I tried to help her with that since I had taken it last year. When I gave her the last good luck coin the night before our last final, she broke down in tears because she was so tired. I couldn’t help but think she was beautiful even when she cried. She tried to stop the tears, but the harder she tried, the more frustrated she became, and that resulted in more tears. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her until she fell asleep, but I couldn’t do that. Things were still a little weird between us no matter how much I wished they weren’t. I wanted to be the guy that could take Maggie in his arms whenever she cried or smiled or laughed or frowned or sighed. I wanted to be able to touch her whenever I wanted, but I couldn’t. Maggie deserved someone who could love her and take care of her.
Unfortunately, I still wasn’t that guy.
Junior Year
Chapter 10
Maggie
Junior year was the year from hell. We started in our happy bubble from our fun summer together, but that didn’t last long. We didn’t even make it one week before the bubble popped. From then on it was one drama after another.
After finals last year, we all went home for a couple of weeks. On Memorial Day weekend in May, we moved into the house. Daddy didn’t mind that Parker was going to be living there. “Extra security for my little girl,” he kept saying. I rolled my eyes at the thought that I needed any security, let alone extra security.
Mother supervised the placement of the furniture on Saturday when Max and I moved in and spent Sunday decorating the living space. I was pretty sure that I was going to runaway never to return if I heard her chide me one more time. Thankfully, Parker and Sarah moved their stuff in on Sunday then on Monday, we had a barbecue to celebrate. Wade, Becca, and Rachel came over and my parents and sisters were there, so it really felt like a housewarming.
The summer was relaxed and fun. We each took one class, so it wasn’t a complete waste of a summer. Sarah worked on a research study while Parker and I swam and trained. He helped me improve my crosses from the left side of the field, and he worked to get better at stopping my one-on-one advances on an open net. We had small gatherings with people from our teams, but we mostly spent time at The Ale House where Parker played almost every weekend with the band. Parker practiced guitar a lot at the house, so we all tried to stump him with ridiculous requests.
Since Wade and Becca had gone home, most of the summer was just the four of us. We were our own little family. Everyone came home with me for my parent’s annual July 4th celebration on the boat. Parker looked amazing of course, so I had to keep my sisters away from him even though they both had boyfriends.
Summer was our own slice of heaven, but I should have known it wouldn’t last. Wade came over to hang out the first day he was back. Sarah was so excited to have him there that she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. At the end of the night, when we were all heading to bed, Wade got up to go home. He didn’t stay the night like Sarah had hoped. She looked hurt, but she pretended it was fine and walked him out to his car.
We didn’t see him all week, and Sarah was home every night, which was unusual for those two. Saturday was Parker’s twenty-first birthday party, so we had some people over. We made margaritas and had his favorite beer with our cookout and played yard games. Sarah kept freaking out because Wade was ignoring her and talking to some other girl. He stayed late with us though, so it couldn’t have been anything.
Once most everyone was gone, Parker, Max, Becca, Sarah, Wade, Rachel, and I were sitting on the back porch hanging out, and it came up that I never went to any parties in middle or high school.
“I hated everyone I went to high school with except Max. Whose party would I have gone to?”
“So you never played Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle or anything like that?” Sarah asked suspiciously.
“No.”
“We have to rectify this situation right now,” Sarah announced with a loud clap of her hands.
“No. No. No,” I chanted while shaking my head back and forth.
“Oh come on Mags. It’ll be fun. I’ve never played either.” Max said.
“WHAT? Are you two from another planet? What do you do for fun in middle school down in Savannah?” I thought we were going to have to scrape Sarah’s jaw off the floor.
“I went to a couple of parties, but I never stayed long. I wasn’t there to hook up with girls in someone’s parents’ bedroom or get in the hot tub with people we went to school with making out with each other next to me. Not my scene.”
“Ok. We have to play now,” Parker added laughing.
“No. No. No.” I repeated.
“Yes. Yes. Yes,” Parker responded. “All you do is take turns asking someone truth or dare. If they say truth, they have to answer any question that you ask of them. If they say dare, they have to do what you tell them. It is always more fun after a few drinks. Maggie you can ask first.”
“Ugh. Ok. Sarah, truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“Ok. I dare you to show everyone your ‘I got laid’ dance.” I said with a laugh knowing that was something she only did in the privacy of our room.
Her mouth dropped open. “You bitch!” She yelled jokingly, but then she got up straightened her skirt and cleared her throat. She turned her head to the side, puckered her lips, and started thrusting her hips and arms in rhythm with each other. She looked totally ridiculous, and we all had a good laugh. When she stopped
she said, “Ok. My turn. Parker, truth or dare.”
“Uhh. Dare”
“I dare you to kiss Maggie…with tongue.”
Immediately I felt my cheeks turn crimson. “Sarah, come on.”
“What? He needs a birthday kiss, and we didn’t invite any of his sluts to this little shindig.” I wanted to punch her in the stomach for both the dare and the reminder of Parker’s sluts.
“Come here Mags. We can do this. It’s just a dare.” I knew he was drunk, and I’d had more than a little liquid courage tonight, so I semi-reluctantly stood up and walked to him expecting him to stand. He pulled me down on his lap with a grin and put one arm around my waist and the other on my neck. “Close your eyes, Mags.” I did, and he pulled my face to his and pressed his lips to mine. He opened his mouth, so I followed his lead. When our tongues touched, I felt a rush go through my body. He tasted of beer and was so gentle and sweet that I forgot that it was a dare. We kissed until our friends started hooting and hollering. We broke apart, and Parker smiled at me. I jumped off his lap remembering what was happening, reminding myself that it was only a game. That kiss wasn’t real…unfortunately.
Sarah was clapping and bouncing around as she cheered. “Woohoo! That was a good one. Parker you’re up.”
The game kept going for a little while, but my mind was reeling. That kiss was…amazing? Incredible? Perfect. That kiss was perfect and not real. My thoughts of the perfect fake kiss were interrupted when I heard Sarah snap, “Is this why you have been ignoring me? Do you want to be with someone else, Wade?”
“Sarah, stop. This isn’t the place or time.” He grabbed her arm and started walking her inside.