by Shealy James
The next day, we both played well in our games. I scored a goal and had an assist, and Parker stopped several shots on goal. The night’s rest we had seemed to be helpful.
By the week of finals, Parker and I were inseparable. It was like we were a couple without ever admitting we were a couple with one major exception. We hadn’t kissed since the night in the storm. Even so, I started getting anxious about going home the night before our last final. Parker could tell something was going on because I was tossing and turning all night.
“Maggie?” I froze knowing I woke him up.
“Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?”
I rolled onto my side to face away from him. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled my body to his. “I can’t. You’re tossing and turning like you have ants in your pants. What’s going on?” He spoke softly in my ear to I could feel his breath on my neck, and instead of soothing me, it made me feel worse knowing that I was going to be stuck at home without him for three weeks. I couldn’t explain that to him without sounding needy.
“I can’t sleep. I’ll go back to my bed, so you can sleep.” As soon as I tried to sit up, he pulled me back down and closer to him.
“Maggie, tell me what’s keeping you up. The sooner we talk about it, the sooner I can make you feel better, and the sooner we can go to sleep.”
Hmph. I rolled over to face him. Parker brushed the loose hair out of my face and waited for me to speak. “I’m worried about going home.”
I looked up and saw Parker’s eyebrows pushed together creating lines across his forehead. “Why?” He just doesn’t get it because he probably doesn’t feel the same. I closed my eyes because I felt uncomfortable under his unyielding gaze.
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“I just am,” I snapped crankily.
He sighed deeply and spoke calmly. “Maggie…is it because you will have to sleep alone?” I could tell he was frustrated that I wouldn’t talk to him, but I just wasn’t ready yet and neither was he.
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
“It isn’t because I’ll be sleeping alone.” I took a deep breath and kept my eyes closed to prepare for the shame that may follow my next words. “It’s because I won’t have this time with you.”
He pulled me tighter into his arms and kissed my forehead. “I know how you feel.”
“You do?” I didn’t lift my head off of his chest because I knew I was bright red.
“Of course I do, Maggie. I don’t like being away from you either.”
“But we aren’t even…you know…”
“Maybe not, but we’re something. We made a deal. Patience, remember?”
“Yeah. I remember.” I said feeling defeated. I knew that was the end of the conversation. A reminder of the deal was always the end of the conversation. I finally fell asleep clinging on to the little bit of hope he had given me, but I was starting to run out of patience with our situation. It was almost worse the next morning when he handed me a penny as he hugged me goodbye. I was starting to need more because having this “kind of, but not really” relationship was a little too grey area for my liking.
I hadn’t been home for a full day before I wanted to go back to school in my strange place with Parker. In truth, I would have almost have preferred to stay in Atlanta if it weren’t for Daddy. Parker and I stayed up late talking and texting, so I really did get very little sleep. My mother had given me a nighttime pain reliever one night after a particularly bad day. She had said, “I don’t know why you aren’t sleeping. Are you working out every day? Maybe you need to see a psychiatrist.” She said and then handed me the two pills. “Try this.”
I slept like a rock through the night and missed Parker’s phone calls and texts asking if I was okay and to call him back. I went and worked out in our basement gym the next morning, and attempted a round of golf with Daddy. When I came back, I had two more missed calls from Parker. Hmm. That was strange.
I called him back as soon as I closed the door to my bedroom when I came up to shower and get dressed for shopping with my mother.
He answered on the first ring. “Hey. I have been trying to call you.”
“I saw that. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I was worried when you didn’t answer or text back last night. Max said he hasn’t seen you, so I wanted to check on you.”
I told him I was fine and about the pills and the workout and golf.
“Please don’t take those every night. Those pills are addictive.” He sounded worried.
“I don’t plan on it, but my mother was forcing me to get some sleep. She thinks I need a psychiatrist because I have been so moody. Maybe now that I have one night of rest in my own bed, I’ll be able to sleep normally the rest of the time I’m here.”
“I hope not.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I don’t want you to come back and kick me to the curb. What would I do then? It is better for me if you miss me.”
“I have a better idea.”
“Yeah?”
“What if you came down for New Year’s? We go to the party at the club every year, and you could save me from dancing with the handsy old men and Wallace, who seems to always think I come to the party alone for him.”
“Hmm… Save you from other guys getting to put their hands all over you? Sounds like I can’t say no. Why hasn’t your dad chopped their balls off yet?”
“Wallace’s dad is a big investor or something, and Daddy knows that I would never date him. The old men on the other hand? Because they’re old. I imagine Daddy gets a kick out of it when they tell him he is so lucky to have such a beautiful daughter. Blind and gross! Bleh!”
“First, you’re beautiful and you know it. Second, do you really want me to come down?” He sounded apprehensive.
“Yes, I want you to come down. If I had thought that you would say yes, I would have asked you months ago.”
“Well, I’m saying yes. Black tie?”
“Of course. Mother wouldn’t go any other way.”
“Ok. I’ll drive down the morning of New Year’s Eve. How is that?”
“Perfect! The sooner the better in my book. Maybe you can protect me from my mother as well while you’re here. Since the last time, she only speaks to me when I speak to her first. I can’t complain, but I wish she could be a normal mom. Wait. What were you going to do that night if you weren’t coming?”
“Play with the band. They’ll be all right without me though. I’m sorry about your mom. I’ll do whatever I can to keep her off your back.”
“Oh good.” Out of morbid curiosity, I asked, “Who would you have kissed at midnight if you went and played with the band?”
“Umm. No one. Unless Grady got a little frisky and attacked me again.”
“Oh. So not Alexis or Brandi?”
“I haven’t touched Alexis since last year. I haven’t touched any girl since then.” He sounded angry.
Trying to lighten the mood, I said, “I wouldn’t say you haven’t touched any girl.”
“You know what I mean. I felt horrible for that day I brought Alexis to the house, and I was already trying to make some changes by then. I hadn’t really realized it yet. I knew I was using her, and after that day I told myself I couldn’t do it anymore. Wait…” He paused, “Who were you planning to kiss?”
A devious plan popped into my head. “Last year Wallace kissed me. I’m sure he’s counting on me coming alone like I always do.”
“Really? Don’t let me stop you.” He was back to sounding angry. This wasn’t playing out how I hoped it would.
I tried my best to sound flirty when I said, “I was sort of hoping you would.” I could almost hear him smiling, or was that my imagination? Way to go brave Maggie!
Just then Carolyn barged in my room. “Get dressed. We’re leaving to go shopping.” She closed the door just as quickly as she came in.
>
“Hey. I have to go. My mother is dragging me shopping. I’m about to find out just how fat she thinks I have gotten. This is going to be so fun,” I said sarcastically.
“Well, you know that I think you’re beautiful, and my opinion matters the most. Besides I can easily throw you over my shoulder, and I’m just a scrawny guitar player.”
“There is nothing scrawny about you Parker. Talk to you later.”
“Bye Mags.”
I hung up with Parker with a huge smile on my face wishing I could have continued that conversation instead of going shopping with my mother and sisters, but I felt confident and brave for the first time…ever. I even told my mother ‘no’ to several dresses she made me try on for the New Year’s party and ended up choosing one myself. While my mother scowled at me when I tried on the dress that I liked, my sisters approved of it, so I felt confident that I would look perfect that evening. Now I had another reason to try to look my best.
Christmas came and went, and sleep did not come easy. I talked to Parker every night until I felt like I could fall asleep. I tried to keep my grouchiness under control when I hadn’t slept well, but my mother could always tell. Some nights I would lie on the couch while Daddy watched TV. The football games sometimes lulled me into sleep, but he always woke me up when it was time to go to bed. When I made it to my bed, I could never fall into a restful sleep. It was a nightmare.
Parker
The night before I drove down to see Maggie, I couldn’t sleep at all. I couldn’t stop thinking about Maggie especially since I would be seeing her in a matter of hours. The more I thought about how badly I needed sleep, the more agitated I became. My phone buzzed while I lay there tossing and turning trying to find a comfortable position.
Maggie: Any chance you’re awake?
Me: Yeah. Can’t sleep?
Maggie: Nope
Me: Me either. You ok?
Maggie: Yeah. Ready for tomorrow.
Me: Me too.
A couple of minutes passed while I lay there trying to think of what to say next.
Me: I miss you.
Maggie: I miss you too.
Me: Because you need me to sleep?
Maggie: Among other reasons.
Me: Like?
Maggie: You want to have a conversation like this over text message?
Yes. You will be honest, and it will be easier for me to see it than hear it.
Me: No I guess not. Can I call you?
Maggie: Yeah
I found Maggie’s name and hit call.
“Hey,” she answered right away.
“Hi,” I whispered.
“You ok?”
“Yeah. Just tired.”
“You’ll be here tomorrow. What time are you getting here again?”
“As soon as I can. I wanted to go for a run before I get in the car, but now I’m thinking I’ll get in the car, so I can get there and nap with you.”
“Yes, please. I’m definitely going to need a nap before the party or my mother will curse the dark circles under my eyes.”
“You’ll look beautiful either way.”
“Try telling my mother that. She will critique every little thing about me tomorrow from the shape of my body to my wild hair. Getting ready for these things with her is a nightmare.”
“I’ll be there. You can get ready with me.”
“She would love that.” Maggie said sarcastically. Then she said, “You’re going to get ready at Max’s. No boys allowed except Daddy. Even Catherine’s boyfriend, Tom, is getting ready at Max’s and they don’t even really know each other. Becca will be sent over here with Max’s mom.”
“Am I sleeping at Max’s?”
“No. You will sleep in your blue room.”
“Will you be sleeping in my blue room?”
“With Daddy downstairs? Probably not. I don’t want to cause Daddy any more stress, and I don’t want you to experience any physical harm.”
“I might be willing to risk it for a good night’s sleep with you.”
“I might be too by the end of tomorrow night.”
“Ok, well let’s try and get some sleep. I need to be able to stay awake to drive tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Please be careful. Call me when you leave.”
“Ok. You want to run when I get there.”
“Yeah. Run then nap sounds good to me.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too.”
“Night baby.” I didn’t mean to call her that, but it slipped out like it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe she didn’t notice…
If she did, she played it off with a simple, “Night.”
The next morning I woke up early, too early to leave. I took a shower and packed, being careful to pack my tux. Pops had always insisted every man needs a tux, so I had the tailored Ralph Lauren tux. I had to go buy a new shirt and jacket before the piano performance I gave because I had bulked up since I last wore it. Since I decided to wear the suit that evening, Maggie had never seen me in my tux. Rented tuxes seemed cheap. This tux made me feel like James Bond. What guy didn’t want to feel like a badass spy once in a while? No one I knew.
The sun hadn’t even risen when I called Maggie the next morning. She answered on the third ring. “You on your way?” I laughed at her excitement.
“Hello to you too.”
“Hello. You on your way?”
“Are you excited or something?”
“Yes. Are you on your way?”
“I’m about to leave. Do you want me to bring you anything from the house?”
“Just you. Now go get in your car.” I was hoping she was excited to see me because she missed me the way that I missed her. I hated to admit that I would be disappointed if she just wanted a warm body to sleep next to her at night or a date to keep that country club douche bag away from her at the party. I knew how Maggie felt about me, but doubts still clawed their way into my mind. This was the first time I had ever felt this way about someone, and I never knew how terrifying it was to actually care about a girl.
“Are you in your car yet, Parker?”
Maggie’s voice brought me back to reality and reminded me that she was waiting on me, not anyone else. She was waiting on me. “I’m on my way. I should be there around ten thirty, ten if I break some laws.”
“Break some laws, but be careful. I would like you here in one piece and without a jail sentence or a ticket.”
“Now you’re being picky,” I continued to tease her as I threw my bag in my trunk.
“Are you on your way yet?” My Maggie was an eager beaver. My Maggie…
“See you in a little while, Maggie.”
“Bye Parker.”
I made it there in less than three hours in one piece and ticket free. I called Maggie when I pulled into her neighborhood to get the gate code, so she was waiting on the front porch when I arrived. She sauntered up to my car like a cat stalking her prey. I grinned at her when I got out of the car.
“Hi,” she said from the front porch.
“That’s it? Hi?”
She put her hands on her hips. “Were you expecting a welcoming committee?”
I leaned against my car to show her that I wasn’t coming to her. “I was hoping for more than ‘Hi’. What else you got?” I was challenging her, encouraging her to meet me halfway. She was once a shy, timid girl that couldn’t look me in the eye. Now she was flirty and confident, and I couldn’t wait to test her boundaries a little more.
Waiting for her reaction I stayed leaning against my car. A mischievous smirk kissed her lips as she thought for a moment. “Hmm.” She paused. Then a huge smile spread across her face, and she came charging towards me. She squealed as she jumped into my arms, which immediately wrapped tightly around her lifting her from the ground. With her mouth at my ear, she said, “I’m glad you’re here.” Now this girl was who Maggie was supposed to be all along. Brave, confident, incredibly sexy, and mine.
“M
e too.” I kissed her cheek before I put her down and went around the car to grab my bag out of my trunk. I handed her a nickel and said, “Show me in, lady.”
She was smiling brightly as she walked me in the front door, and we took my bag up to the blue room. I changed into running clothes and met her back in the kitchen where her parents were sitting with the newspaper.
“Parker! I’m so glad you made it safely,” Mrs. Miller said. I was surprised by her kindness after our confrontation the last time I saw her, but I guessed that her change in attitude had everything to do with Maggie’s dad sitting next to her at the table.
Mr. Miller stood and shook my hand. “Parker, nice to see you again. We are glad there is someone to watch over Maggie tonight. She has been known to fill her dance card quickly, so I feel better knowing Max and I have you there to keep her away from the dirty old men,” he joked as I shook his hand.
Maggie playfully slapped her dad’s arm. “Oh Daddy. Stop! We’re going for a run, and I want to take a nap before I get ready.”
Maggie’s mother stood from the table and without looking at Maggie, she said, “You will need to be up before Daddy and I get back from setting up at the clubhouse. Melanie and Laura Lynn will be here to do your hair and makeup at four, so you need to be showered and ready by then. Be careful not to chip your nails. We don’t have time to deal with one of your disasters today.”
“Daddy can’t set up.” That’s what bothered Maggie from what her mother said?
Mrs. Miller waved her off. “Oh, he’s only going up there for lunch. He won’t be doing anything strenuous.”
Mr. Miller looked up from his paper with mock offense. “Hey! The doctors let me play golf; I can hang a few lanterns.”
Mrs. Miller laughed. “Oh stop. When have you ever lifted a finger? The staff hangs everything.” It was so strange to see her so friendly with Mr. Miller. The last time I saw this woman I wanted to throttle her, and now she was practically charming when she spoke to her husband. No wonder Maggie was always confused when it came to her mother.
He chuckled, “True story. Ok. Have a good run you too. Karen, let’s get going to the club. I want to see Walter and Al before they head out on the course.”