I followed Sebastian into a room—formerly the parlor, now a studio with desk, computer, and easel.
“It’s almost finished. I just have to print it out,” he said.
Sebastian went to the printer tray and handed me a glossy photo. I held it in my hand.
It was a picture of Alexander!
“This will be his artist’s headshot,” Sebastian boasted.
I was amazed. For the first time in my life, I held a picture of my vampire boyfriend. “I love it! It looks exactly like you!”
“I used one of my image-enhancement software programs,” Sebastian proudly said, “and played around with some photographs I found online. I used Johnny Depp and made a few tweaks to bone structure and added pale skin, and voilà! Alexander.”
“It looks like a real photograph. And it looks like you! Can I keep it?”
“We have to give it to Mr. Lunken for the article. But I can print you another one.”
“Print a hundred!” I ordered.
I was so distracted by finally possessing a photograph of Alexander, I almost forgot that the preppy guy standing in front of me was him.
My boyfriend tugged at the collar of his shirt and fiddled with his shoes. I watched him as he uncomfortably tried to adapt to his new image. He was trying his best to fool even himself.
We returned to the living room, where he put a log in the fireplace.
“You hate it, don’t you,” I said.
“This house is beautiful—don’t get me wrong,” he lamented. “And the clothes look great on a guy in a magazine…. But…”
“What?”
“I don’t want to let you down.”
“Me?” I said. “I’ve spent my whole life not conforming. Why would I judge you if you don’t feel comfortable in an image that isn’t your own?”
“Because if I don’t do it—if that reporter snoops around or it slips out that I sleep in a coffin…that I drink blood for breakfast…” Alexander’s voice rose. “It is dangerous not only for me, but for you.”
“I understand.” I, too, was afraid Mr. Lunken would find out and reveal Alexander’s true identity. But mostly for Alexander’s sake.
“I’m not sure you do…. Is this the life you really want, Raven? The one you’ve desired all your life? Or is it just about the fantasy of it?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. Being a vampire had always fascinated me. I knew there were drawbacks, but weren’t there drawbacks to being mortal?
“You are all about showing the world who you truly are. What if you couldn’t anymore?” he asked sincerely.
It was something I hadn’t thought about. I’d imagined a life of darkness and mystery, but not one where I’d have to hide who I was. “I don’t know….”
“Think about it. Me, Sebastian, Jagger, even Luna. We’re all in a club that no mortal wants to join—except for you.”
“But—”
“Have you even told your own mother about me? Or Becky?”
“Of course not. I thought you didn’t…”
“I know. I don’t.” He wandered back to the mantel, stoked the fire, and gazed into the crackling flames shooting from the burning logs. “But sometimes I do.”
I was speechless. Alexander was so much more complicated than I could ever imagine. I did feel sorry for him. I never hid from others my thoughts and tastes, no matter how outlandish, and yet he had to keep secret everything about his lifestyle.
“Sometimes I want your parents to know,” he continued. “Just be able to be who I am. And not have them be fearful of me. Not have them run away.”
I couldn’t imagine my parents running from Alexander under any circumstances. Maybe this was my opportunity to let them into his world.
“Do you want me to tell them?” I moved toward him and drew him in to me.
“It will be the end of everything—of our relationship, of my living here.”
“What if it isn’t?” I asked excitedly. “What if they embrace it? Then neither one of us would have to hide it anymore.”
“You think your father wants you dating a vampire? A guy who drinks blood to exist?”
“They’re former hippies. They might think they were having a flashback.”
“I’m serious. They aren’t hippies anymore. They are parents of a teenage girl.”
“Well…”
He sat down on the sofa. “It’s been great having Sebastian here. And you. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to be myself, apart from being with you.”
It was quite the sight—Alexander, my once gothic prince, transformed into a handsome quarterback from a boarding school, living in a palatial mansion, pained with loneliness even as I sat right next to him.
“This is my life, Raven, whether I have to hide out in a Mansion, live among my kind, or hide out in the
Dungeon at the Coffin Club. It’s all about secrecy and survival.”
I’d never been about hiding or not getting in people’s faces. Maybe I couldn’t be a vampire after all. Could I take the solitude? Or wandering around like Sebastian, trying to find those who were like me?
I felt Alexander was pushing me away—not from him, but from the fantasy of being a vampire. So if I was to truly be with him, I’d have to show him how much I cared for him and push back.
“But we’d live together,” I said. “Like your parents do. I just want to be with you—and I just want everyone to love you for who you are, just like I do. But I understand…Alexander, I know I’m impulsive, but I want what’s best for you—no matter what that means.”
He turned to me, his eyes soulful and his shiny hair glistening. A gorgeous smile emerged from his serious face.
I fixed his collar so it rested flatly. “Besides, it is only temporary. But don’t be mad at me if I slip and call you Trevor.”
Alexander didn’t find my joke amusing, and he rose.
“I didn’t mean to—” I started.
He didn’t speak but shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I was just teasing.”
“No—you’re right. This isn’t how I live. And most important, this isn’t who I am. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, exposing a white Cure T-shirt.
I was startled and elated by his bravado. I ran to him and gave him a squeeze so hard I thought I’d pushed the air out of him.
“Jameson, we have some moving to do,” he called.
Sebastian and Jameson entered the room.
“We’re returning the Mansion and me to our original state,” Alexander declared.
“What happened?” Sebastian asked.
“It’s just not me. I don’t have to come out and say I’m a vampire, but on the other hand, I also don’t have to be ashamed of being myself.”
“So what do you want to do now?” Jameson asked.
“Reschedule the interview. We’re going to return the furniture. Immediately.”
“All of it?” Sebastian asked.
Alexander nodded.
Jameson shuffled over to Alexander. “Can we at least keep this rug?”
Alexander smiled. “Of course.”
“And my desk?” Sebastian pleaded.
“Yes….”
“Can we keep that outfit?” I whispered, coyly tugging at his brown leather belt. “Just for fun?”
“Fine!” he reconciled. “But everything else goes back. I have an interview to do!”
12
A Return to Disorder
The next day after sunset, I bounded over to the Mansion with a renewed sense of delight. I was eager to see the
Mansion return to normal—or what Dullsvillians called a nightmare. I was proud that Alexander made the decision to be himself—or at least be as real as he could be without putting his true identity in danger. I knew it was an extremely hard choice for him to make—but either way he was going to be in the story. It was ultimately better that he shared the macabre artist that he was rather than an untrue, khaki-clad version of what he thought the town
wanted him to be.
When I arrived atop Benson Hill, the Mansion’s door was wide open.
I entered the foyer to find the Mansion restored to its original disorder. The scent of lit candles and musty air that I’d grown to love wafted through the halls. The brand-new crisp white linen covers were gone, exposing the worn Victorian couches. The silver floor lamps had been replaced with dripping candelabras. And the freshly purchased easel and metal desk with blue locker drawers had been taken from the library and the old desk and library books returned.
Curious, I bolted up the grand staircase. I peeked into Jameson’s room to find his new accent rug at the foot of his bed. When I surveyed Sebastian’s room, the only thing organized was his shiny new desk.
As I drew closer to the TV room, I heard Alexander and Sebastian talking intently.
“So haven’t you thought about it, man?” Sebastian asked. “You must have.”
“Of course I have,” Alexander answered.
“Isn’t it difficult to resist? She is beautiful.”
“It isn’t easy.”
What were they talking about—who were they talking about? I pressed my back flat to the wall and did my best to hear.
“She isn’t a vampire,” Alexander said.
“But if she was—man, you could be living the dream. You could sell the bottles in your cellar. She’d quench your thirst for eternity.”
They both laughed.
“I agree with you that it would be easier if she had been born into our world,” Sebastian began. “That’s what
I think. Then there are no decisions—no conflicts, no pressure.”
“It’s enormous. I try my best not to think about it.”
“But you do—”
“Of course I do.”
I waited with bated breath to finally get a glimpse into Alexander’s thoughts. Ones that I knew he was reluctant to tell me about.
“If Becky were to go out with me, what would I do?” Sebastian pondered. “It would be very hard for me not to want to turn her. How do you manage?”
I waited an eternity for Alexander’s response. I pressed my ear closer to the door. I, like Sebastian, was eager to know how Alexander managed.
“It’s difficult.”
“If only she were born a vampire,” Sebastian said again, “then it would be easier.”
“Then she wouldn’t be Raven,” Alexander lamented.
I sighed. But what did Alexander think about turning me? I was dying to know more.
“So…,” Sebastian pressed. “What’s keeping you from it?”
Alexander paused. “Not Raven,” I heard him say. “Not my love for her. Or us being together.”
I smiled inside and out.
“I do imagine that moment,” Alexander continued. “Raven and I together on sacred ground. The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew she was what I’d been searching for. What I didn’t find with Luna or any girl I’d ever known. But I never planned to fall for a mortal—the responsibility of it all. But no one said love is easy.”
I tried my best not to scream in delight. Listening to Alexander admit to Sebastian that he truly wanted me in his world was what I’d been waiting for.
“Do you think you ever will?” Sebastian asked. “Ask her…”
Would Alexander really turn me? I waited for his answer, but all I heard was deafening silence.
“Miss Raven!” I heard a voice say from the shadows.
I thought I’d jump clear through the Mansion’s roof.
“I didn’t know you arrived,” the Creepy Man said in his thick Romanian accent. “You must have snuck in.”
“The door was wide—”
“Raven?” Alexander called from the room. Suddenly he was standing before me.
“Uh…,” he stammered. “I didn’t know you were here….” It was obvious he was calculating in his head whether I’d heard their conversation.
Sebastian was sitting with a gaming guitar in his hand.
“Sebastian was just going to show off his guitar talents,” Alexander said, changing the subject. “We’re just missing a gothic rock star.”
“Uh…yeah…,” Sebastian said. “I could use a singer.”
They both looked to me.
“Sure,” I said. “Just as long as you both have earplugs.”
The following day, Alexander closed the coffin lid on Sebastian’s and my participation in his interview. We were banished from the Mansion, and just to be safely at a distance Sebastian and I met at Dullsville’s fountain until Alexander could join us.
It was odd, to say the least, to be hanging out with Alexander’s best friend without Alexander. What were we going to talk about? Would it be strange to be hanging out with a guy who wasn’t my boyfriend? The only other guy I was ever alone with, besides the occasional run-in with Trevor, was my snarky little brother.
There was no doubt Sebastian was charming. His mood was playful and his intentions toward me benign.
What I didn’t plan on was anyone seeing us, since there was a soccer game at school and the whole town was going to be there.
“Raven,” I heard a sweet voice call. “Are you two on a date?”
It was Becky, the last person, besides Trevor, I wanted Sebastian to see.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked. “I thought you’d be at school, cheering for Matt.”
“I’m on my way. Where’s Alexander?”
“He has an interview with the Gazette. So I was being the tour guide—only Sebastian’s already seen everything in town.”
“I know one thing you haven’t seen: Our school’s winning soccer team. Wanna come?”
“We can’t,” I said.
“Have you ever seen a soccer game?” Becky asked naively.
“Yes—” Sebastian replied.
“Well, you haven’t seen Matt play.”
“True,” he said, “but I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We’re supposed to meet Alexander in an hour.”
Even Sebastian tried to put off my best friend.
“Don’t be a stick-in-the-mud. I can bring you back here in time.”
“You know how I feel about soccer,” I said, trying to be diplomatic. “And especially going to school when I don’t have to.”
“Oh, it will be fun. There aren’t any tombstones, but you’re sure to see a killer match.”
Before I knew it, Becky was playfully leading Sebastian toward her truck. He looked to me for help. He was struggling with her touching him, and he was doing his best not to make eye contact with her.
She opened the passenger door and Sebastian reluctantly began to get in.
“No—I’ll sit in the middle,” I insisted, squeezing in before Sebastian had the chance to sit down.
I didn’t want Sebastian to be too close to Becky. He’d tasted her blood. That meant Sebastian felt even more of a draw to Becky than he had originally. I could see him wrestling with his inner vampire.
Sebastian stared out the window. Becky did her best to engage him in conversation, and he did his best to be polite but remain uninterested.
“Don’t leave me alone with her,” Sebastian pleaded as he and I sat on the bleachers. Becky was at the refreshment stand while we held a seat for her. “Alexander will kill me if he finds out I’m seeing her again. You know I didn’t plan this.”
“I know—neither did I. We could both get in trouble.”
Becky returned with some chips and a container holding three drinks. She handed the tray to me, and as I reached for it, she sat down in between us. Sebastian scooted away.
He took out his cell phone and began texting.
“Want some chips?” she asked him.
He fiercely shook his head.
“Who are you texting?”
“Just some girls,” he said.
Becky dismissed him and took her drink and chips.
There was a time-out in the game.
I received a text again from an unavailable number.
I know where you are…
“Who’s texting you?” Becky asked. “I’m here, and I’m the only one who you text.”
“I’m not sure. I think they have the wrong number.”
The soccer snobs returned to the field.
“How long is this going to be?” Sebastian asked with an obnoxiously audible yawn.
“What’s wrong with him?” Becky whispered to me. “He’s acting very strangely.”
“I’m not sure….”
Just then Trevor scored a goal and the fans erupted in cheers. Sebastian rose to see what was going on.
“We’re winning,” she said.
Sebastian and Becky locked gazes. They both sat down, and he put away his phone.
Before long, Sebastian had lowered his guard. He was into the game, rooting for Matt, and glowing at Becky.
He took out his cell phone and began snapping pictures of the action. Then he focused it on Becky, who began to get caught up in Sebastian’s enthusiasm. She posed while I sat as inert as a tombstone.
“C’mon, Rave—” she said, placing her arm around me.
“Yes, Raven, I’d like some of you, too,” Sebastian suggested.
I couldn’t even muster a fake smile.
“Now let me take one of you,” Becky said, retrieving her phone.
“No—I hate being photographed.” Sebastian shielded his face with the drink tray.
“Weird. Alexander does, too,” Becky said. “Must be something in the water in Romania.”
“Must be,” I said.
“Then how am I going to remember you when you leave?” she asked, snatching the tray from him.
Sebastian froze. His soft, lovelorn eyes melted even more. Becky’s comments had pierced his already aching heart.
“All right,” he said.
He gazed into the camera intently. He smiled adoringly at Becky. She snapped her camera and the flash went off. He winced as if he’d been struck by a soccer ball.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“I got something in my eye…,” he said, recovering his composure.
She tucked her phone into her purse and turned her attention back to the game, unaware that she had unwittingly broken his heart. She could never possess his image and he could never possess her love.
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