‘So what are you worried about, then?’ I snap, wishing she’d just shut up so I can stress about Nonno some more.
‘It’s the way that he said it,’ sobs Michi. ‘All cold and distant, like he didn’t care about me. And … and then he said he had to go and he hung up on me.’
‘Did he say goodbye first?’
‘Well, yes, but we always used to play this game on the phone where we … we … What am I going to do, Mia? I miss him so much …’
Then she totally loses it and becomes a sobbing mess on my shoulder.
I put my arm around her and stroke her hair and tell her how awesome and beautiful and talented she is and what a loser idiot moron Ben is for not realising that. And how she’ll get another boyfriend soon who knows how to treat her properly and then Ben will realise he’s lost her forever and compose a sad symphony declaring his undying love for her. What else am I supposed to do?
And I push down all my worries and fears about Nonno and the fact that he might never come out of the hospital, and will die in pain and be buried in a cold, lonely grave in the earth, just like my little brother Marco was when he died on that terrible night five long years ago.
We’re still sitting like that when Alysha comes out to find us.
Chapter 9
monday night … a few seconds later
‘Come on, you guys,’ whines Alysha. ‘We’ve been waiting ages in there. I thought we were supposed to be rehearsing our act for the concert?’
Just what I need. An angry Alysha on top of everything else. I take a deep breath. ‘Give us a minute, okay?’ I say. You’d think my squeaky voice would be a dead give-away that’s something’s wrong, but I doubt either Leesh or Michi will pick up on it. As always, they’re too wrapped up in their own problems to notice how anyone else might be feeling. Why can’t they see I sometimes have problems too?
I quickly wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket and jump up from the bench, doing my best to transform back from scared, worried, freakedout Mia into cheery, reliable, always-available-for-her-mates Mia. Maybe I should get a sign made up. For hire. Shoulder. Very experienced. Cheap rates.
Alysha tosses her hair and stalks off back to her cabin, leaving Michi and me to stumble along in the dark behind her.
I stand in the doorway, the bright light making me blink. Lexi’s sitting cross-legged on her bunk, writing in her diary. She doesn’t look happy. Guess she and Alysha still haven’t made up.
‘Where’s everyone else?’ I ask her.
She shrugs. ‘Off in the rec hut I think. Paige said they’re doing some big dance number and needed more room.’
Alysha flounces across the room and sits on the opposite bunk to Lexi.
‘I knew I should have gone in their group when they asked me,’ she says.
Oh, great. More drama. Just what I need. So much for our rehearsal. But no way am I going back to my own cabin. Not after the toxic treatment Amira’s little gang dished out on me tonight. Michi’s already slumped down on Paige’s bed, lost in her yearning for Ben, so I shove her along a bit and slide in beside her. Then it’s on.
Lexi [incredulous]: I thought you said this morning they didn’t ask you. You said you were really upset about it.
Alysha [defensive]: Yeah. I was. So?
Lexi: But then you said it was okay and they could all suck it up because our group would be ten times better anyway and blow them off the stage.
Alysha: Yeah, well that was before I found out I was in a group with a boyfriend-stealer.
Lexi: What do you mean?
Alysha: Oh, come on, Lex. Don’t play Little Miss Innocent with me. I told you I was interested in Daniel and what do you do? Grab him for yourself!
Lexi: That is so not true. Tell her, Mia.
I shake my head. They can sort it out for themselves for once.
Alysha: Come on, admit it. You’re just jealous that I can get guys and you can’t. So you do this big ‘look at me’ act, bragging about how fast you can run. Big deal.
Lexi: That is so unfair, Alysha. This is the first time a real live guy has actually shown any interest in me. And you’ve had heaps of guys who like you. So why do you have to have this one too?
There’s an awkward little silence and then Alysha jumps up off her bunk and starts fiddling around in her make-up bag.
Alysha [applying lip gloss]: Because I saw him first, okay? Anyway, I’m sick of talking about it. Have him if you want. He looks like he’s really up himself anyway. But just get out of my face, okay? I don’t want to talk to you anymore.
Lexi [folding her arms]: Yeah, well, suits me. I don’t want to talk to you either. In fact, from now on, if you want to say anything to me, you can tell it to Mia. And then she can pass it on to me. Okay?
Alysha: Fine.
Lexi: Don’t tell me. Tell Mia.
Alysha: Mia? Tell Lexi I said fine. And then tell her she’s a moron.
I can’t take much more of this. So much for our concert act. I’ve got something really cool planned for us, too. We’re going to call ourselves Pink Inc. again, like we did for the Starsearch contest in term one. And we’re doing this act where we take off all the teachers – the way they walk and talk and behave, even the style of clothes they wear. The audience has to guess who they all are. And we’re going to spice it up a bit by singing bits of songs that suit the character or subject area of each one. Things like ‘So Emotional’ and ‘Piano Man’ for Mr C, or ‘The Scientist’ and ‘Naughty Girl’ for Mrs Vella.
But now two of our Pink crew aren’t talking to each other, and another is wallowing in her own misery so much that she’s totally lost it and become a weepazoid zombie. I feel like slapping Michi and telling her to get over herself. Then banging Leesh and Lexi’s heads together, so they can see what idiot losers they’re being, fighting over some stupid guy.
Yeah, right. Like that’s ever going to happen. And no way do I want to withdraw our entry from the concert. It’s worth valuable points for our team, and I want to win that trophy for Nonno. So I jump up off the bunk and sweet-talk everyone into rehearsing instead.
Hours later I’m back in my own cabin, eyes wide open and staring at the wall. The room is full of snores and snuffles and all the other sounds people make when they’re sleeping. Everyone except me.
My head is full of the nightmare I’ve just had. The one I have over and over. I’m in the park with Marco. He’s on a swing and I’m pushing him. Up and down. Up and down.
‘Look at me, Mee-ah!’ he trills as the swing soars higher and higher. ‘I’m fly-ing!’
And then suddenly the swing is gone and there are tubes in his nose and drips in his arms and bandages holding them in and hospitals and doctors and a big metal hospital bed. And his tiny body is lying in the bed, still and cold and white, like a ghost. And I could have saved him. Could have protected him. I wanted to. I really did. But it was too late. And too hard. Always too hard … How do you fight something as strong and unbeatable as leukaemia?
Then I’m back in the dark cabin again, listening to the sound of someone sobbing.
And then I realise it’s me that’s sobbing.
But no-one comes over to ask me what’s wrong.
Chapter 10
tuesday morning
I climb to the top of the ladder and step onto the platform. Mr Makris fiddles round with my harness, checking that everything’s in place.
‘There you go, Mia. Now, move your feet apart a little bit more, like this. Good. Okay, ready to go?’
I think so. I wish I could just get my stupid helmet to sit straight instead of flopping over my eyes every time I move my head. I give the strap one last tug but it doesn’t seem to make much difference.
‘Yep,’ I gulp, sounding more confident than I feel. I’m not a big fan of heights. Or speed. Or letting go.
Mr Mak hooks me onto the T-bar, sending my pulse racing. The flying fox snakes away between the trees to a clearing where the rest of my group are waiting, ready to catch me when
I finally descend.
If I make it that far …
Should I close my eyes or keep them open? And then Mr Mak is counting me down and I’m off, whizzing through the trees like a giant bird. It’s great! It’s fantastic! I never want it to end!
And then it does end and I’m back on the ground, my heart racing. Mrs Vella unclips my harness and I stumble over to my friends on wobbly legs.
‘Way to go,’ Michi says, giving me a high-five.
‘Yeah,’ chimes in Alysha. ‘Good one. You should have seen your face on the way down.’
‘That was so mad,’ I say, ripping my helmet off. ‘I didn’t think I’d be able to do it when I was up on that platform, but once I got going it was awesome. What’s up next?’
‘Kayaking, I think,’ Michi tells me. ‘Or maybe the giant swing thing?’
‘Great,’ I say. I’m so pumped I feel like I can do anything they throw at me now. Climb ten-storey buildings. Run marathons. Talk to that Year 8 guy at the bus stop. Maybe even ask for his mobile number! I want to get back up on that flying fox and do it again. And again. All day if they’ll let me. That’s how good it made me feel. As though nothing in the world could ever go wrong again.
‘So, where’s Lexi?’ I say, looking around.
Alysha rolls her eyes. ‘Where do you think? Over there with her new boyfriend.’
I follow her gaze to where Lexi’s hanging out with the four guys we bumped into on the mountain yesterday. Looks like Daniel’s showing Lexi some kind of martial arts move. Lexi waits till he’s finished, then tries it herself. She’s not bad, either. No way could I get my leg up that high.
Lexi catches me looking at her and sends me a cheery wave. She whispers something to Daniel then comes bounding over, her eyes shining.
‘Guess what? Daniel thinks I should take up tae kwon do! He reckons I’d be really good at it.’
‘Yeah?’ I say. It’s good to see her happy for a change. She’s been miserable and stressed out for months, ever since her parents started fighting. Maybe a new crush is exactly what she needs. Especially one that’s as hot as Daniel. ‘Cool!’ I say.
‘Yeah. He was just showing me how to do some of the kicks.’ She backs away a couple of metres from us, then lashes out to one side with her left leg.
‘See? That was what you call a side kick.’
‘No kidding,’ Alysha says, looking bored. ‘I’m surprised you can get your fat leg up that far.’
Lexi glares at her. ‘At least I haven’t got a bum the size of an elephant. I’m amazed you can fit into the bunk.’
Alysha turns to me. ‘My bum is so not that big. Tell her, Mia.’
But I can’t do it. Not after what happened at rehearsal last night. I’m sick of their silly squabbling. No way am I going to waste my time playing peacemaker again today. I’m about to tell them both to drop in a hole or move to Transylvania where they can get eaten alive by vampires or something, when
Mr Mak yells into his megaphone, telling us it’s time to move on to the next activity.
Alysha slams her lunch tray down on the table next to mine. ‘Look at this slop,’ she says, pushing her fork through a mound of macaroni cheese. ‘It’s disgusting.’
‘Tastes all right to me,’ I sigh. Alysha seems obsessed with her weight. She never seems to eat anything much these days.
‘But it’s fat and carbs again,’ Alysha whinges, tasting a tiny bit then pushing her plate away. ‘Eeuw. That’s gross.’
‘Here, have my apple instead,’ I say, passing it to her. ‘Anyway, you’re just grumpy because Daniel’s hanging out with Lexi rather than you.’
Alysha stares moodily across the room to where Lexi’s sitting with Daniel and his mates. He’s swiping food off her plate, making her laugh. Now she’s play-wrestling him, trying to get it back. It’s obvious he really likes her. What do you have to do, I wonder, to get a guy to look at you like that?
Alysha’s picked up on the electricity between them, too. ‘Whatever,’ she mutters. ‘She was all over him when Mr Mak told us to choose partners for the kayaking. He didn’t have a hope.’
‘So you think he should have asked you instead?’ Alysha tosses her hair. ‘Sure. Why not?’
I shake my head. ‘You’re unreal sometimes, Alysha,’ I tell her.
‘Yeah?’ she says. ‘Well at least I don’t try to run everyone’s lives for them, like you do. You’re not so perfect. You should get over yourself, Mia.’
What’s that supposed to mean? I finish the rest of my meal in silence then push my chair away from the table, Alysha’s harsh words still ringing in my ears. ‘I have to make a call,’ I tell her. ‘See you later.’
Five minutes later I’m on the phone to Dad.
‘Mia?’ Dad sounds worried. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Everything’s fine,’ I tell him. Well, mostly. He doesn’t need to know I’ve just had a fight with Alysha when his dad’s lying in a hospital bed. ‘I just wanted to find out about Nonno.’
‘That’s a relief,’ Dad laughs. ‘I wasn’t expecting to hear from you till tonight. I thought you must have fallen out of a tree and broken something, and then we’d have two patients in the family.’
‘Nothing like that,’ I tell him. ‘Though I did whiz through the treetops this morning. It was awesome! Um … did Nonno end up having the operation today?’
‘The surgeons were very busy. They couldn’t fit him in. But they’re saying tomorrow, for sure.’
‘So that means … his blood pressure’s okay now?’
‘It’s fine,’ Dad assures me. ‘Everything’s fine. I’ll tell him you said hello, okay?’
‘Thanks,’ I say, relief flooding my body. So there really has been nothing to worry about. I glance behind me. The queue’s building up again. I tell Dad I’ll call again tomorrow and hang up.
And walk straight into Jess and Jane.
Jess raises one eyebrow. ‘On the phone to Mummy and Daddy again?’
I glare at her. ‘So what if I was?’
‘Still homesick?’
‘No.’
‘Fibber,’ Jess baits me. ‘I heard you last night.’
I stiffen. Oh no. How embarrassing. What if I called out something in my sleep? About Marco. Did she hear that too?
‘What do you mean?’ I whisper.
‘You were bawling your eyes out. Crying for your mummy and daddy. Is that why you were ringing them? To ask them to come and get you?’
My fingers curl into fists, the nails biting deep into my palms. Just walk away, I think. Walk away. I remind myself she’s just a stupid moron cow who doesn’t know anything.
‘You wouldn’t understand,’ I tell her. Then I straighten my shoulders and head back to the dining room to find Michi and Lexi.
Chapter 11
tuesday … after lunch
I find Michi chatting to Mr C about the concert.
‘There you are, Mia,’ Mr C says. ‘I was just asking Michi if your group would like to kick off the show on Thursday night. Always good to start these things with a bit of razzle-dazzle. Or maybe you’d like to be the grand finale? The act everyone remembers when they’re voting? Your choice.’
‘Umm … can I get back to you on that?’ I tell him, sending Michi an ‘I need to talk to you urgently’ signal with my eyes.
‘Sure,’ he says. ‘I’ll be putting a schedule up in the rec hall. Just fill it in when you get a chance.’
I wait till he’s moved on to another group, then drag Michi outside.
‘What’s up, Moo?’ she asks. ‘You look seriously spooked.’
‘That’s cos I am,’ I say. ‘Jess is doing my head in.’
‘Huh?’
‘I don’t know how you put up with all the stuff she did to you last term without strangling her.’
‘What’s she done now?’
Should I tell her? But it won’t make any sense without going into the whole Marco leukaemia thing. And I’m not sure I want to talk about that at the mom
ent. Lexi and Alysha know of course, even though we don’t talk about it anymore. It happened when were all in Grade 2. But it’s not exactly something you bring up casually in conversation – even if Michi has become one of my best friends these last few months. How would I say it? ‘Hi, I’m Mia. Oh, and by the way, I have a dead little brother who I’ve never got over.’
So I decide to just fudge it for now.
‘Just stuff. Mean stuff. You know what she’s like. I want to show her how it feels, but I don’t know how.’
Michi smiles. ‘Course you don’t. You don’t have a mean bone in your body.’
I grin, embarrassed. Is that really what people think I’m like? Well, everyone except Alysha, that is. ‘Whatever. Nothing major. Just something to get her out of my face.’
‘Give us a sec,’ Michi says. She stares off into the bush for a minute, then turns to watch the stream of kids coming out of the dining room and heading off to the rec hut for the afternoon’s program.
A smile spreads over her face. ‘Got it,’ she says mysteriously. ‘But we’re going to need Lexi’s help. Come on. Let’s go get her.’
Lexi leans back in her chair. ‘So, let me get this straight. We write a love letter to Jess and pretend it’s from Daniel.’
‘Yep,’ Michi says. ‘Then we stick it under her pillow or something.’
‘It needs to be somewhere more obvious than that,’ Lexi says. ‘What if she doesn’t find it? I mean, do you check under your pillow before you go to bed?’
‘You’re right,’ Michi says. ‘Okay, on top of her sleeping bag where she or one of her little friends can see it.’
I bite my lip. Thinking about wanting to get back at Jess is one thing. Actually putting it into action is something else. ‘Umm … are you guys sure? I mean …’
‘Come on, Mia,’ Michi says. ‘You know you want to. Like you said, she needs to feel the pain herself for once. Anyway, what’s the worst that can happen? Jess misses out on some of her beauty sleep, and her friends find out she’s been sucked in. Who knows? She might even see the funny side of it.’
‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘I guess when you put it like that.’ I wriggle around on my seat, still not convinced this is something I want to do. ‘And you’re sure she’s got the hots for Daniel?’ I ask. ‘Cos if she doesn’t, she might just throw the letter out.’
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