But they loved it, I think. Everyone thought our routine was really funny. Nobody said we looked stupid.
‘Stuff happens,’ I say carefully, digging around in my bag for my phone. No way do I want to get into a slagging match with Jayde before I’ve had a chance to show Paige the photos.
I scroll through to the media setting, then wave the phone at Paige. ‘Take a look at this.’
Paige can’t help herself. ‘What is it?’ she asks, moving closer.
‘I’ve just been over at Stacey’s place,’ I say. ‘Doing a little … research. And guess what I found in her room?’
I click through the photos, frame by frame. Paige’s eyebrows shoot up. ‘That’s Stacey’s bedroom? No way!’
‘Sure is,’ I say, whizzing through the next couple of shots till I find the one that shows a close-up of her pillow. ‘See? There’s her name right there.’
‘Give me that,’ Paige says, snatching the phone out of my hand. She checks out the photo of Stacey’s name, then calls out to Jayde. ‘Jayde, get over here for a minute. You’ve got to see this.’
Jayde squeezes in between us on the bed so she can see the tiny screen, then starts snorting as Paige clicks through the frames again.
‘OMG, this is gold,’ she sniggers, giving me a high-five. ‘We can do so much damage with these. Way to go, Alysha. How’d you get them?’
‘I could tell you,’ I smile mysteriously, ‘but then I’d have to kill you.’
Paige cracks up and the tight knot that’s been building up in my gut all day slowly unravels. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m back in.
‘She’s got names for all of them too,’ I tell them.
‘What, like Flossy and stuff?’
Flossy?! OMG – they don’t know about Flossy, do they? Then I realise it’s probably just one of those names every little girl calls her stuffed toys, like Snowy or Sparkle.
‘Um, yeah,’ I say, a twinge of guilt replacing the knot.
‘Un-believable,’ Jayde says, settling back comfortably on the bed. ‘This girl is seriously twisted. Okay, so this is what we do. The pics are already in your phone, Alysha, so you can start messaging them to everyone in your contact list.’
‘Yeah, and I’ll forward them on to mine once I receive them,’ Paige says.
‘Check,’ Jayde says. ‘But give me the phone first so I can download the pics onto your computer.’
I stare at her. This is all suddenly going way too fast. All I’d planned to do was take a few pics of Stacey’s room to show Paige and Jayde what a loser moron she is. I figured we’d pass the phone around and have a good laugh between ourselves. Show Bella and a few of the other shinies, maybe. Not broadcast them around the whole school.
‘And then what?’ I ask nervously.
Jayde rolls her eyes. ‘What do you think? I’ll send them out to all the friends on my MyPlace page.’
‘Got any pics of Stacey on your computer?’ she asks Paige.
‘I think so. Maybe.’
‘Cool. I could do a bit of a cut and paste with her head on one of the fluffies. Then I’ll print out a nice big version for you to stick on her locker tomorrow, Leesh.’
‘M-me?’ I stammer. ‘But what if she catches me doing it?’
‘Better get to school real early then, hadn’t you? Anyway, duh. Of course she’s going to know it’s you. Where else would the photos have come from?’
‘But –’
I imagine Stacey with her sweet little trusting face, arriving at school to find it stuck on top of a fluffy hippo. And I realise I can’t do it to her. I just can’t. Not after she said all that stuff about how I’m always helping other people. No-one’s said anything nice about me like that for ages.
I look at Paige and Jayde, plotting and planning as they think up new ways to destroy Stacey. I can’t believe I ever thought they were pretty. They don’t look pretty now – they just look mean. Mean and nasty.
Then other mean things they’ve done come flooding back to me. The trick they played on Lexi and me at Eastfields that time, making us wait around for ages in the wrong place. The way they say nice things to people’s faces, then horrible things behind their backs. The way they expect me to let them copy my homework or get stuff for them all the time like some kind of slave. Is that all I’ve ever been to them? Someone they can kick around to make themselves feel better than everyone else?
Then I think of what I’ve been doing to Stacey. Setting her up with the fake band name, and teaching her the wrong dance steps. I even ordered her to get me stuff at the canteen yesterday. All so I could impress Paige and Jayde. I’m becoming just like them … And then suddenly I realise I don’t want to be friends with them anymore.
Heart thumping, I lean forward and snatch my phone out of Paige’s hand. ‘You two are unbelievable, you know that?’ I spit.
Paige’s eyes narrow. ‘So? It’s never bothered you before. You’re just lucky we let you hang around with us.’
I grab my bag and lurch over to the door. ‘You’re full of it,’ I tell them, my throat so tight I can barely get the words out. ‘You think you’re so fabulous and that everyone likes you. Well, you’re not, and they don’t.’
Jayde yawns and rolls her eyes. ‘Whatever. Close the door on your way out, okay?’
‘Yeah, see ya,’ snorts Paige.
I stumble back out into the street. I wish I’d had the guts to say more. I wish I’d told them what mean, nasty cows they are.
But most of all, I wish it hadn’t taken me nearly a whole year to realise it.
Chapter 12
wednesday … fifteen minutes later
I’m sitting on my front doorstep, trying to decide what to do next. I could go inside and sit in our cold, empty house, waiting for Bec to come home to tell me how much everyone at the studio loved her. Or I could sit out here a bit longer so everyone who walks past our house can see what a sad loser moron I am.
But I don’t want to do either of those things. I don’t want to be alone. I want to be somewhere warm and comfortable, hanging out with friends. Friends who like me for me, not just because I wear the right clothes or listen to the right music or look like a supermodel. And then suddenly I know where I want to be. I want to be at Pink HQ.
I want to go over there, right now. I want to have friends who I can just be myself with. Friends who know me and who I don’t have to change for. I want to do crazy dance moves and tell silly jokes and collapse on a pile of pink cushions with my ribs aching from laughing so much. I want to cut up old photos and stick them on the Wall, and scribble silly poems next to them. I want to watch daggy horror movies and eat chocolate and homemade pizza …
My stomach rumbles at the thought of food. I’m so hungry. I always seem to be hungry these days. Hungry and tired.
Well, not any more. I’m not going to starve myself by counting calories and making myself throw up, just to fit some stupid image in a magazine, or because Paige does it.
I haul myself up from the step. It will take too long to walk to Mia’s place, and I have to be there now. Right now. And then suddenly I remember my old bike, out in the shed. The bike I got for my tenth birthday. Pink, to match the ones Mia and Lexi already had. We used to ride our bikes to the swimming pool in summer and hang out for hours, laughing and chatting, wondering what life would be like when we finally made it to high school. Well, now I know … it’s hell.
I rest my bike against the wall and knock on the door. Softly at first, then louder.
Nobody answers.
I knock again.
Still no-one.
Guess they’re not here then. Either that or they know it’s me and don’t want to come out. Can’t say I blame them, really. Not after some of the mean moves I’ve pulled this year. I’m just about to climb back on my bike for the lonely journey home again when Mia comes out.
‘Oh, it’s you,’ she says, her voice flat. ‘What are you doing here?’
I bite my lip. ‘Umm … I just t
hought I’d drop around for a bit? You know, say hi and stuff?’
Mia stands in front of the doorway, her arms folded across her chest. ‘You could do that at school. Why do you need to come here to say it?’
I can’t believe Mia is talking like this. Mia never says anything nasty or horrible. To anyone! I stare at my feet. Maybe I should just go away. It was a stupid idea to come in the first place.
‘C-can I … ?’
‘Come in?’ Mia says, moving aside. ‘Sure. Come in if you want. We’re a bit busy though, so we probably won’t have much time to chat.’
Head down, I follow her inside. Lexi and Michi are sitting cross-legged on a pile of cushions, surrounded by a box of old clothes and pieces of fabric. A Jason Marx track is playing softly in the background.
Lexi looks up.
When she sees it’s me at the door, she narrows her eyes and looks away again.
‘We’re making costumes for the play,’ Mia explains.
‘Right,’ I say carefully. ‘Need any help?’
Lexi snorts. ‘From you? I don’t think so.’
I take a deep breath. ‘Look, I know I haven’t hung around much with you guys this year, but …’
‘But?’
‘Well, I just wanted you both to know I’m still your friend – you too, Michi – and, even though we don’t see each other much anymore, I still really care about you guys …’
Mia stares at me. ‘Our friend? How can you call yourself our friend? You don’t care about anyone else but yourself!’
‘Yes, I do!’ I tell her. ‘Of course I do!’
‘Oh, sure,’ Mia says. ‘Have you even noticed that Lexi’s parents have split up? Cos you certainly haven’t asked her how she’s feeling about it lately.’
I open my mouth to snap that of course I know that, that everybody knows about it, then close it again. It’s true. I’ve been too busy feuding with Lexi to check how she’s coping with it all. It must be really hard. ‘Guess not,’ I whisper.
Mia shakes her head. ‘Or that my nonno died? You couldn’t even be bothered to come to his funeral.’
I stare at my feet again, suddenly ashamed. I have been a bad friend. Mia even tried to tell me that the other night online. But I can change. People change, don’t they?
‘But …’ I feel tears welling up. ‘But we’re the Awesome Threesome …’ Lexi picks up a black net dress and rips the bodice away from the skirt. ‘Used to be, you mean,’ she spits. ‘That’s all over now. Finished. Why don’t you hang out with someone who cares? Like your little friends, the Chuck Twins.’
Mia and Lexi are right. We’re just not those same three girls anymore. Too much has changed since that last day of primary school when we stood up so proudly on that stage and sang ‘Graduation Friends Forever’. But we have all that history together. That has to count for something, doesn’t it?
‘Lexi?’ I try one more time. ‘Lex?’ But she won’t look at me. She’s too busy ripping the skirt into long, jagged strips.
I stumble back towards the door, my eyes clouding with tears. ‘Guess I’ll see you around, then,’ I whisper.
Mia follows me outside. ‘I’m sure Lexi didn’t mean to be quite so harsh,’ she tells me, fiddling with an old pink streamer on my bike.
I shake my head. ‘Yes, she did.’
‘You’ve got to admit, Leesh, you’ve been an absolute cow all year.’
‘Yes, but, you don’t understand –’
There’s so much I want to tell Mia. About how mean I was to Stacey, setting her up just so I’d score points with the shinies. About how my parents are never around when I need to talk to them, and my perfect sister who will always be better than me, no matter how much I try. About how hard it is, starving yourself so you’ll look thinner and prettier than everyone else, so the right people will talk to you and like you. But who are the right people? I’m just not sure anymore.
How do I tell her all that when she won’t even talk to me?
‘Mia?’ Michi calls from inside. ‘Can you come and help me with something?’
Mia reaches out and gently rubs my arm. ‘Look, I better go, okay? See you at school tomorrow.’ Then she points to the tyres on my bike and actually smiles at me. ‘And pump those up before you ride next time, okay? It’s a death trap!’
Then she’s gone.
I climb back on my bike and pedal shakily off up the street. Okay, so Mia didn’t ask me to stay so I could talk to her. But she didn’t say she hated me either. Lexi obviously does, but if I start doing things a bit differently from now on, show her I do care what’s going on in her life instead of worrying about myself all the time … Well, who knows. Maybe, just maybe, one day we can all be friends again. Not best friends forever, or anything like that. Just friends …
Then again, why would any of them want to forgive me after the way I’ve behaved?
I slam on the bike brakes as a cat runs across the street in front of me. The next thing I know, I’m sitting in the gutter, the wheel of my bike spinning crazily beside me.
‘Oww,’ I groan, rubbing my elbow.
A hand reaches down to help me up.
‘You okay?’
It’s Tai. How embarrassing.
‘Do I look okay?’
Tai grins. ‘You look great.’
I straighten up and dust myself down. ‘Yeah, right,’ I say.
‘No, seriously. You look great. You always do.’ He reaches for my arm. ‘Want me to check that out for you? Or call someone, maybe?’
‘I’ll live,’ I tell him. ‘I just banged it on the concrete, that’s all.’
Tai moves my bike off the street and on to the footpath. ‘Cool bike,’ he says, trying not to laugh. ‘It might be a bit easier to ride if you pumped up the tyres though.’
‘Thanks for pointing that out,’ I say. We stand there a bit longer, smiling at each other shyly. And for once, I’m not worried about what my hair looks like or whether my bum’s too big or whether my clothes are featured in the magazines everyone reads.
‘So, what are you doing out here anyway?’ I ask.
Tai pats the kit bag he’s carrying. ‘Just on my way to soccer training. You?’
‘Oh, just visiting some friends,’ I tell him. ‘At least, they used to be my friends. I’ve kind of … stuffed things up a bit lately.’
‘Well, if they’re good friends, I’m sure they’ll forgive you.’
‘Maybe,’ I say. But I’m not so sure.
‘Come on,’ Tai says, picking up my bike again. ‘I’ll walk you back home.’
He wheels my bike along the footpath while I walk beside him. It feels kind of weird and nice all at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite like this about a guy before.
‘So, this play,’ he says, after a minute or so. ‘Any particular role you were hoping for?’
‘Oh, that. Well, I guess if I made it into the chorus I’d be happy.’
‘The chorus? Well, sorry to have to disappoint you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m Mr C’s assistant, remember? The guy with the clipboard? Which means he’s given me the cast list to type up for the noticeboard tomorrow. And you are definitely not in the chorus.’
‘Oh, right,’ I say, my heart sinking. Guess that’s it, then. My big chance to prove myself. Gone. Just like my friends. All gone.
‘You’re not in the chorus,’ Tai goes on, ‘because you’ve got one of the lead roles.’
‘Are you kidding?!’ I grab Tai’s arm and squeeze it so hard he nearly drops the bike.
Then I let go again. ‘Don’t tell me,’ I groan. ‘I’m one of the three brides of Dracula, right? Along with my two ex-best friends – Paige and Lexi.’
Tai grins. ‘Hmm. Well, you’re right about Paige and Lexi being Dracula brides. But the third one is someone else.’
‘Who? Tell me!’
‘Stacey.’
Stacey? OMG. Paige is going to freak right out about being stuck in a gro
up with Stacey. Just like Lexi will when she finds out she’s in a group with Paige.
‘And how about Jayde? What did she get? Lucy, right? The one who gets to pash Count Dracula?’
‘Erm … nothing, I think. I don’t remember seeing her name on the list, anyway.’
Ha! How will Princess Jayde cope with that? I wonder. She’s so used to getting everything she wants, every time.
‘So who is going to be Lucy?’
‘Can’t you guess?’
‘No. Who?!’
‘You.’
‘Me?! ’
‘Yep. I was going to wait until tomorrow and let you read it on the noticeboard so I could see your face when you found out … But I don’t know. You looked so sad sitting there in the gutter, I had to say something to cheer you up.’
Wow, I think. Wowsers. I’m going to be playing Lucy! I’ll get to act, and sing, and dance … It’s going to be amazing. So it’s not just Bec that can do stuff. I can too! And, even though some of my old friends are in the play as well, once we start rehearsing, I’ll get to hang out with a whole different group of people. Maybe I’ll even make some new friends. Maybe I’ll become friends with Stacey! Who knows?
We walk along the darkening streets, chatting about the play. Finally we reach my gate. The lights are on and both cars are in the driveway. I can’t believe it. Mum and Dad must have come home early.
I smile at Tai. ‘Thanks for walking me back.’
‘No worries,’ he says, propping my bike against the fence. ‘See you tomorrow, yeah?’
‘For sure,’ I say. ‘Oh. Just one more thing. Who’s playing Dracula?’
Tai ducks his head. ‘Um. Me, actually.’
‘You?! But I thought you said you didn’t want to be in the play?’
‘I didn’t. But Mr C talked me into it. Says I’m a natural or something. So, looks like you’re stuck with me.’ He looks at me, his brown eyes suddenly anxious. ‘That’s okay with you, I hope?’
Is he serious? Who wouldn’t want to spend the next month rehearsing neck-biting scenes with Tai Sumner?
A Year in Girl Hell Page 28