by Finian Blake
“Noah this is Shultz may we begin?” Noah made a sweeping gesture with his arm. She began in the crew cabin. Shultz started in the galley area. He pushed his nose into every crack. At the edge of the galley partition, he suddenly lifted his leg and pissed on the partition. Lynn pulled back on the leash, with her face instantly turning a bright red. Noah did not say a word. She settled the dog and began again. Shultz stopped at Noah’s map case lifted his leg and once again pissed on the map case.
Noah was visibly annoyed, “I know that you need to train Shultz. What are you training Shultz for, the fire department?”
Lynn was totally flustered. She was absolutely beet red. “I I I I Shultz! Oh my, no. B B Bad dog.” Noah knew it was time to let her off the hook.
“Calm down. Shultz is not having a good day. Why don’t you take him outside and let him use the landing gear? It is nothing that cannot be cleaned up. I will clean up in here. You just settle Shultz down.”
As Shultz was being led out, he pissed on the doorframe. “O o oh! B b bad d d dog! I I don’t know, w what h h has gotten in to him. She commanded poor Shultz over to the landing gear where he pissed again. Noah walked slowly over to her putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey look, everyone has a bad day and it looks like Shultz is just having one of those days. It is easy enough to clean up. I’ll get it.” He patted her gently on the shoulder. Her skin tone was still almost purple. “I’m sure that he is a good pup. You need to calm down or you are going to burst a blood vessel. I am sorry about the fire department crack. I was just making things worse.”
“How can I make up for this?” She had stopped stuttering. “This has never happened before.”
“I need someone to pick up lunch for me. Ask your partner if he thinks that it is alright. I am stuck out here eating airline snacks. Do you know any fish shops that deliver? I hate to come to England and miss my fish and chips.” He gave her a friendly smile.
“My shift ends at noon.” She volunteered. “There is a shop not too far from here. I suppose that it would be possible to drop some off.”
“Tell you what. If it wouldn’t compromise you let me pay for three. I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble, so tell William what I suggested. I would not do it unless he approves. The last thing that I would want is to get you into trouble.”
Lynn walked over to talk to William. She turned around with a frown on her face.
“He said that it wouldn’t be proper for me to do it, but he said that he would work something out for you.” Lynn walked Shultz over to the van and proceeded to load her trainee in the van.
William walked over to Noah.
“Thank you for talking Lynn down. She was totally around the bend. We cannot accept money for anything other than payment of duty. You know how it is?” Noah waved his hands.
“That is why I had her ask. I prefer to avoid problems. Brit World Wide handles our servicing do you have any idea where they are?”
“Brit World Wide does most of the contract work for the occasional carriers.” William pointed at a building about thirty yards away. “I will notify them that your aircraft is cleared for transit status. You and your crew may take your personal items through the building. No cargo or part of your cargo is to leave the aircraft without further clearance. They will send out their representative to explain the rules and arrange services.”
“I will tell Lynn that you were very understanding. Have a pleasant stay.” William hopped into the van and drove off. Noah walked back to the Ark. He was stopped at the door by the quartet.
“What in the hell was with that dog. Did it have something to do with that vial?”
They were all just about in tears with laughter.
“I would be very much surprised if Shultz did not take a piss there.” He allowed himself a large smile. “The vial was loaded with piss from a female dog in heat. It was an insurance policy. The Brits are good dog trainers, but you can only do so much to overcome nature. I really feel sorry for Lynn. She was mightily embarrassed, but we couldn’t afford a dog in the cargo bay. William tells me that we will have access through the air cargo building. All of the services will be arranged through Brit World Wide. You can hit the hotel and I will stay with the Ark.” The crew’s discussion was interrupted by a female voice.
“Hello in the aircraft. May I enter?”
“Welcome aboard.” Noah said cheerfully.
“William stopped by the office and turned in your clearance. My name is Susan.” She stiffly extended her hand and offered everyone a quick handshake. She was a tall woman, about five ten, but with her heels on she was slightly taller than Noah. Her thick dark brown hair was held back on the sides by four gold clips and left shoulder length in the back. She had a long waist and full hips which Noah found to be very attractive. “I will arrange all of the necessary services. Now, when would you like to go to the hotel?”
“This is Noah and our names are Frank. We will be heading to the hotel and this gentleman will be spending the night on the Ark. He should be making all the requests for our service.” The quartet enjoyed the look of disbelief on Susan’s face.
She looked at Noah, “All four of your pilots are called Frank? You are going to be barking mad by the time you are finished with your trip.” She glanced at the quartet. “No offence meant.”
“None taken,” Noah answered as all four Franks laughed.
“He is already barking mad, so we will be ready for the hotel in about thirty minutes.” Sue turned to Noah.
“Well sir what may I do for you today?”
“I believe we will have full service ground power, fuel, lavatory, and water. I think we will also need a mechanic to check the oil. Oh yes, we will need to make catering arrangements.” The engineer caught Noah before he went outside to do his checks.
“Before we head to the hotel I’ll do the walk around on the Ark, so we won’t have any last minute surprises.” Frank grabbed his flashlight and headed out the door.
“Why do you call it the Ark?” Susan gave Noah a questioning look.
“Well I am Noah and the quartet thought that the name was right for the plane.” He shrugged and smiled. “Everything gets a name.”
“I was told that you were looking for some fish and chips.”
“That’s it. I knew that I forgot something. Is there any chance that I can get some carry out fish and chips?”
“I think that we can work something out. I am going to have lunch with Lynn and I think that we can manage to bring something back. She told me that you were very understanding about Shultz’s toilet habits.”
Noah gave her a big smile and a wink. “If you get the fish with Lynn, could you make sure that she doesn’t put anything extra in it?”
Susan chuckled at the comment, “She was very appreciative that you didn’t get upset with Shultz. You could have taken a completely different attitude with the affair. It could have been ugly.”
“It took a supreme effort not to laugh however we did manage. I mean she was so embarrassed that she was purple the whole situation was just bizarre.”
“I guess I had to be there, right?” Susan found herself starting to laugh, “Well, thank you for not laughing while she was there.”
“Just to show you that I understand let me buy your lunch and buy Shultz a sausage as a treat.” He pulled five, five-pound notes from his wallet. “I hope that the pup is not in too much trouble. Could you bring back two orders of fish and chips for me? I am starved.” Susan warmed toward Noah. He was the only one that did not seem to be laughing.
“I will pass your comments on to Lynn, and have all of the services here as soon as possible.” Susan had a number of pressing things to do deciding to be on her way. “I need to run along now, but I will see you about midday. I will send someone out in the van to give your crew a lift to the hotel.” The Franks assembled their bags in preparation to leave.
“We hate to leave you all alone while we hit the hotel. It just doesn’t see
m right.”
“Don’t worry. I will get along just fine. Besides that, I need to check things out. If we have to come back this way, I want a good idea of how things are run here. You guys just hit the hotel, and I will see you bright and early in the morning.” Noah looked out the door. A van from Brit World Wide pulled up to the Ark. “Here’s your ride I will see you in the morning.”
The quartet grabbed their bags, and walked to the van, as he was leaving Frank looked back.
“By the way there are not any write ups for the mechanic. Try not to get in any trouble.”
He waved and headed to the van. Noah went up to the flight deck and started to do his weights. Noah was just finishing the final touches on the fuel sheets when he heard the mechanic pull up with a flatbed lift truck. He met the mechanic at the door.
“Hello my name is Noah, did Susan call you?”
“That would be a good guess. My name is Peter. I came out to hook up your ground power and check your engine oil. We have power pits out here so all I need to do is just plug you in. I will check back with you before I leave.” Within the hour the Ark was fully serviced.
Noah decided to take a stroll into the building to have a talk with Susan.
“You really have your finger on things. That’s about as fast as I have been serviced by contract.”
Susan nodded in acceptance of the compliment, “Thank you. I keep an excellent relationship with all of our vendors. All that I have to do is express a need, and it gets done.” Her voice took on a mock serious tone, “I even keep a good relationship with our customs people.” She gave him a sly smile.
“I am sorry about the fire department comment. It was what came to mind at the time.” Noah managed to keep a straight face.
“You must be a Brit. We are the only ones that can keep a straight face when confronted with the hilarious.” Susan was on the edge of full out laughter, “Lynn and I had a good laugh about it when she gained perspective.”
“I hope that Shultz did not catch too much hell over his little indiscretion. He seemed to be a good pup.” Noah was serious about this.
“Oh no, she really loves that dog. He was in no more trouble than an erring child.”
Susan switched gears, “I called your Embassy. They were glad to hear that you were on your way to Tehran. They have a diplomatic pouch. It will save them sending it back to Washington.”
“How did they know that we were here?”
“They asked me to keep them informed of U.S carriers with international destinations. As you know, the Embassy must send diplomatic pouches on U.S carriers and Everywhere Air is one of the cleared carriers, so when I mentioned your name they said that you would qualify.”
“Of course we will. I just need to call the home office and get approval,” Noah said looking for a way out.
“It is already done. I did say that we do the contract work for Everywhere Air. Your home office says space-permitting, take the package. The van will be here shortly after midday.” Noah was not too terribly happy with the extra load.
“I have already done my weights and I am very close to max cargo. How much does this pouch weigh?” Noah had learned a long time ago that the term pouch was just an expression.
“I understand that it will be about seven hundred kilos. Give or take a kilo or two.”
“Don’t forget the odd kilos.” He was not a happy camper. “Would you see if there is a half pallet around that I can use? I have a feeling that we are talking about a fair amount of bulk.” Noah cracked a smile. “When you go to lunch tell Lynn that you’ve tagged me back.”
Susan looked confused for a second, but giggled when she caught on. “She’ll love it. Lynn really does have a good sense of humor.”
“I would like to start over again. Those first impressions can last forever.” The last thing that Noah wanted was to start a feud with Customs.
Susan took on a serious look. “The next time, call me and I will make sure that there are no training exercises. You are the courier for Everywhere Air so the odds say that you are a spook and cannot stand a close inspection. Let me know ahead of time, and we will make the arrangements. Remember I do work for Everywhere Air too, and you are not the first special through here.”
Noah relaxed a little, “I should be through here on the way home and possibly two more times this month. We have a big contract hauling oil-drilling equipment. Tell me what needs to happen so we can avoid stray dogs?”
Susan shrugged, “Just let me know it is part of my job and I am good at what I do.”
“Would you be willing to accept a bonus? Say six hundred Pounds for a round trip. Which will be delivered on the inbound leg of the run?” Noah was hoping that he was not making a big mistake, but he was positive that he was not fooling her.
“Six hundred a round trip would say a lot. You did say Pounds, didn’t you?”
“Yes I did. After all this is England and your currency is Pounds. I was not prepared for a bonus in pounds on this run. Would fifteen hundred in dollars be acceptable?”
“It is part of my job however fifteen hundred dollars would be very acceptable. It will even get you beer with your fish. I will even give you VIP service with a smile. I do have a few things to do before lunch, so we will see you about thirteen hundred hours.” He took the hint.
“I think I will get a few hours of shut eye.” He turned and made his way back to the Ark.
Noah climbed into a crew bunk at the back of the flight deck. He was hoping to get a good three hours of sleep setting the alarm on his watch for noon. He did not have the noise from the prop, but there was still the ambient airport noise. Sleep came quickly, and he slept soundly. The shrill beeping of Noah’s digital watch was not a welcome sound. He went down to the aircraft lavatory doing his best to wash up and shave. The sink in the lavatory held a little more than a quart of water when full so conditions were not what anyone would call accommodating. After about fifteen minutes, he emerged from the lavatory shaved and reasonably presentable. He would have to see if they had a shower in the building when Susan returned.
Noah had a little time before lunch was due. He took a plastic cup out of a sleeve of cups being surprised to find that the ice was still plentiful in the cooler filling the cup with a fifty/fifty mix of ice and scotch. Noah let his thoughts travel back home realizing that he would not be calling home for several days. It was just not a smart move to call from out of the country because international calls were just too easy to spot and he did not want to point to his home. Noah had told Pat that he would be gone for thirty days so that she would not expect much in the way of calls. She did not know exactly what he was up to, but she knew Noah would be bringing home a very large paycheck. He was not at all worried that she would have any problems at home which she could not handle. Pat was an independent woman, but she did not seem at all happy about the extra twenty days. Noah was hoping that she would still be understanding, when payday came.
Noah lit a cigarette and finished his scotch trying to think of any details that he had missed. Susan would be showing up with lunch shortly. Noah put down his scotch and retrieved fifteen hundred dollars from the envelope that Buck gave him in D.C. He did not intend the money for this occasion, but it would provide him a relaxed stop with good facilities. Susan seemed to have a very good handle on things at the airport so this would be a good investment. Noah heard someone slapping the crew door. He downed the rest of his scotch and opened the door of the Ark. Susan and Lynn were standing at the door with a few bags. They came up the steps and put the bags on the counter with one of the bags clinking when Lynn put it down.
Susan smiled, “You didn’t put in a request for ale. It just seemed right for fish and chips. Let’s eat this before it gets too chilled.” The ladies started to tear open the bags and pass around the food. Noah was surprised at the size of the portions.
“This fish shop puts out some healthy sized portions. I asked for two orders because I was hungry, one would have been e
nough but two will definitely fill all the corners.”
“They don’t skimp on anything. They even use dog fish instead of cod.” Susan opened the three beers and passed them around. She then produced several packets of malt vinegar. “I remembered the vinegar, but forgot the salt. Can you imagine that?”
“I’m kind of forgetful too. I need someone to put this in the correct account for me.” Noah handed her an envelope with fifteen hundred dollars in it as discretely as possible, not wanting to alert Lynn to their little deal. Susan opened the envelope and counted out the fifteen hundred dollars. She made a fist around the bills sticking her hand under Lynn’s nose with the money splayed out like a fan.
“You see I told you he would be true to his word.”
Noah’s jaw dropped in surprise at Susan’s overt gesture. “I should have taken an ad out in the newspaper!”
He was about to say something else when Susan stopped him.
“We live together, so I told her. She is my accountant and helper with the customs thing.” Susan’s expression changed to a wicked smile as she turned to the surprised Lynn.
“Lynn has lost a bet and has to do something special for dinner tonight. We will stop back around half of seven to pay up.”
“If this is going to be a special dinner, it would be a good idea for me to shower up.” Noah was feeling a little better, but was still in a state of shock.
“That’s alright. The men’s shower is disgusting. There is a shower in the women’s locker room and we will stand guard while you shower after dinner.” Susan was just collecting their mess from lunch. “Oh! The Embassy confirmed the truck is on the road and should be here about three o’clock. We do have a half pallet standing by ready to load.”
Noah was still finishing his food as they walked out the door. At least he would have a little bit of company for dinner it would not be as comfortable as the dining room at the hotel but the company would be attractive. He tipped back in one of the crew seats for a short rest. The truck from the Embassy did not show up until four PM. It had several pieces of furniture on it and was accompanied by two diplomatic bags. The ‘diplomatic pouch’ took a little longer to load than he anticipated because of the bulk. The half pallet just fit in the last cargo space. Noah looked at his watch as he was closing the loading ramp. It was a few minutes after seven. He went forward switching off the breakers for the cargo compartment and made a mad dash to clean up before the ladies arrived. By seven twenty, he was in reasonably presentable condition. He lit a cigarette and poured himself another glass of scotch.