Memory of Morning

by Susan Sizemore

  "It did take me a bit," I admitted. "But, to be fair, I have been ill."

  "Your nose is red. And your face is still a bit puffy."

  I ignored this bluntness. "Who would send me a basket of forget-me-nots? I wondered, and puzzled. Then I woke up in the middle of the night--"

  "To blow your nose."

  "To cough up phlegm, if you must know. At any rate, when I woke up, it was with the thought that Jame Field had sent those flowers." I kissed the rather wide tip of his nose. "Thank you. They were the best."

  "But they weren't the only ones."

  I was inordinately pleased at the tiny hint of jealousy in his tone.

  "No," I answered. "But they were the best."

  The parlor door banged open, and we jumped and turned toward it. Seeli came rushing in. "Uncle Eadum says you must come to the front hall immediately. We all must!" She was grinning maniacally. "An Imperial Herald has come!"

  "What have we done wrong?" I asked.

  "Don't joke," she said. "The herald is from the Honors committee. Come along."

  "What does that mean?" Jame asked.

  "My uncle is about to be awarded a knighthood," I said. "Or so he hopes." I took his hand. "Let us go watch."

  He tried to pull away. Surgeons have strong hands. "I need to get to work."

  "I am sure the herald is standing in front of the door. There will be no escaping for any of us until the announcement has been made."

  He came with me, but he did not look enthusiastic. "A knight," he said softly before we reached the gathering in the wide front hall. "Your family is going noble?"

  He seemed most unhappy at this news.

  "My uncle's immediate family will be affected," I said. "More respect in society will accrue to the rest of us Cliffs, but I'm far from being a noble."

  "Well, that's all right then," he said.

  We joined the crowd, held hands, and stared along with everyone else at the magnificent creature standing with her straight back to the door. The herald's gold-encrusted robe was of scarlet velvet, with long wide sleeves which nearly swept the floor. She wore a gold tissue headdress which added nearly a foot to her height. A jeweled gold collar of office weighed down her neck. This uniform had not changed for at least three hundred generations, as the heralds had strictly documented, and we had all been taught in school. The Imperial College of Heralds was the oldest institution in Ang, and their headquarters was the largest building in Loudon. The information stored there affected the lives of every citizen of Ang. I suppose the keepers of all this power had every right to their elaborate dress and rituals.

  Once we were all assembled, including the household staff, Uncle Eadum stepped before the woman in scarlet. He bowed. "We attend to you, Herald of the Empire."

  She gave a regal nod.

  I wondered if the Dowager gave the heralds lessons in haughtiness or if the heralds instructed the Imperial family?

  An assistant, in blue velvet, who I had not noticed before, stepped forward. He slipped a rolled parchment from an embossed copper tube, and handed it to the Herald. She made a show of lifting and slowly unrolling the document. Once she'd done with this, she said, "Emperor Marqs the Fourth of the House of Shield commands me to stand before the House of Cliff today."

  We all bowed.

  "Attend to his pleasure."

  "With all pleasure, and loyal hearts," Uncle Eadum replied for us all.

  She lifted the parchment to eye level. It was a long-winded, formal, florid document. The gist of it was that Mr. Eadum Cliff, head of the gentry family of Cliff, was being elevated to the rank of Knight of the Empire for services to the Empire. The rank was to be held by his heir, and all heirs of the House of Cliff to follow.

  It was what we had hoped for. What the corporate family had worked toward for seven generations. This was not only what we'd hoped for, but expected when the Herald arrived.

  It was what she read next that was a surprise.

  "Alixand Cliff and Edime Cliff, siblings of the generation of Eadum Cliff, of the gentry House of Cliff, for services rendered to the Empire, are awarded elevation to the rank of Esquire of the Empire. Rank to be held by heirs of the households of Alixand and Edime and all heirs of their households to follow."

  It took me a few moments to understand. Alixand Cliff was my father. Professor Alixand Cliff was now Squire Alixand Cliff. Or would be once the investiture ceremony took place. Professor Alixand Cliff, Esq.

  Fancy that.

  I almost giggled.

  Whatever would great grandmother Owl have had to say to that? That he was still not good enough for an Owl, probably.

  Then the realization that my personal family and not just my uncle had just been ennobled sank to the pit of my stomach, and I found I did not like the weight of it there at all. This wasn't the way I had ever imagined the world to go. I - we Avan Cliffs - were committed meritocrats...

  I suppose things had been going on around me while all this rolled around my head, but it took me a while to focus. When I did, I looked at Jame. I don't know when we had stopped holding hands. There was no pleasure in his guarded expression. He was a committed meritocrat, as well.

  "I--" I began.

  "We'll talk about this later," he said, voice flat. "I really do have to get to work, right now."

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  "My father's botanical research, I suppose," I said. "His formula for honeyherb alone is certainly worthy of some sort of official recognition." I did not mention our family's contribution to the Red Fever vaccine.

  I took a bite of fat fish roll. The fish was cooling, as Jame and I had carried our food to the front steps of Mercy Home where we'd sat down to talk. It was still warm enough to be good, though. I'd spent the morning being bled, and was craving all the food I could get. Unfortunately, the conversation was not as pleasant as our dinner. We sat close together, but not as close as I would have liked, even though the summer night was hot. The strain between us was not getting better as the days passed. He'd stopped visiting the rental palace. The one time we'd come together in his rooms to make love had been a pleasant, but nearly silent affair. We'd spoken with our bodies, satisfying needs, but not really communicating. We'd agreed to meet this evening and talk things out. I was not on night duty, but Mercy Home was neutral territory where we both felt comfortable.

  He had started this conversation by asking, no, demanding, just what my father and his twin sister had done to deserve elevation to the nobility. His use of the word deserve had been spit like an obscenity.

  "Aunt Edime runs the family shipping business. Her blockade-runners take great risks to bring needed supplies to Ang. And she frequently commands ships herself. She'd make a fine admiral."

  "But why not simply accept the grateful thanks of the people of Ang, and the profits of their labors, rather than beg and scrape and hope for a nod from the noble class?"

  "Because we are a corporate family," I said. "Our charter was set up with the purpose of raising our station in the world."

  "How long ago was that?"

  "Seven generations. Yes, I know that times have changed since that plan was formed, but not so much as they should have."

  "We don't need the nobility. No one should be born better than another. Four generations ago my family were field workers on the Kestrel estates. As much as I admire Dwie Kestrel, I remember where I came from every time I look at him."

  "I doubt he does."

  "He doesn't have to. He was born to privilege, my people earned every step up the social ladder. Education and hard work is what matters."

  "I don't disagree."

  "Then why become one of them?"

  "It is not my choice, Jame. I signed the Cliff rules of incorporation when I came of age. I am vowed to obey them."

  "What about free will?"

  "I have enough of it."

  "Not enough to walk away from your family."

  I did not want to walk away from my family. The thought of t
hat ostracism chilled me to the bone.

  I opened a new subject rather than continue in that vein. "It is not all power, privilege, and safety to be a noble," I told Jame. "My mother's family is noble, the Owl family from Welis. Do you know how Welis used to be governed?" He shook his head. "It's a large island, third largest in the main archipelago. The four noble families of Welis ruled the land as a cooperative council, and they had a body of gentry who advised this council. They thought this the way the Empire should be governed, with the Emperor as head of state, with a council of nobles and a council of gentry advising him."

  "No interest in the working man, I see."

  "No - but it was a good idea for beginning government reform. The four families of Welis circulated a petition that was signed by many noble families from many islands. The Emperor did not respond well when this petition was presented to him. The marines occupied Welis and have never completely left. The heads of all four families were arrested and held in gaol for three years. The four families lost their current ranks, and were reduced to the level of baronet. Some of their property was confiscated. This set an example to the rest of the noble class that the time was not yet ripe to even peacefully and politely ask the crown for change. The Owls have been slowly working their way back into favor since that time."

  "That was four generations ago, before the plague. The Red Fever helped change things. The death toll gave common folk--"

  "And women," I added.

  "--the chance to move up in the world. Things are better, but there's been no real change."

  "You know I don't disagree with you. But we can't tear all that weight of tradition down overnight. We're a conservative people deep in our bones. There is still social pressure to go on as we always have, as much from the working class as from the nobles."

  "The working class needs educating. Not just a few select people at a time, the way it's done now."

  "More people are going to schools every year. Those people are gathering wealth and respect. The meritocracy will change the world for the better for everyone. Even the nobles, eventually."

  "The meritocracy isn't coming fast enough."

  "The Emperor has the navy, the marines, the home guard, and you Apprehenders. And the high nobles all have their own household guards. What do the rest of us have? We have education. I think it is the better weapon. I want the slow meritocrat revolution the nobles scarcely notice, not a civil war."

  "They're noticing right now."

  "The Gracers. Yes. We all know about the Gracers."

  "And the sedition hearings after the Gracers have aroused enough suspicions of people. I've been bringing in people High Judge Lord Goshawk wants to question on Gracer accusations. Some are being sent to prison islands - for no reason I can agree with. I hate being part of that. I'd leave apprehending if I didn't think I was doing some good as well."

  I put my hand on his tense shoulder, hurting for him. "All anyone can do is as much good in their circle as they can. The good ripples out into the world."

  He jerked from my touch, glaring at me. "I've about had it with ripples. It is time for a large wave of change."

  I'd experienced the damage large waves could do. "That cannot happen. Not while we are at war with Framin. Not while--"

  "That's excrement the nobles feed us from the day we're born. That's the way you've been trained to think by your precious family. Parrot the nobles, pander to the nobles. So the Cliffs can be part of the ruling class. Congratulations." He sneered.

  I snarled. "Thank you." After a moment I calmed down. "Enough politics," I said. "I haven't changed because of my family's elevation. How do I show you that I haven't? That I won't."

  "You don't resent the nobles, do you?"

  "Not all the time," I admitted. "Many of them are nice people under the right circumstances." I gestured the subject away impatiently. "Never mind them, what about us? What about our friendship? What I'd hoped was growing into more than friendship?"

  He stood. He shrugged. "I don't know. I really don't know."

  I got up as well. When I held out my hand, at least he took it and gave it a squeeze before letting me go.

  "Can we talk again?" I asked.

  His smile was fleeting, but it was there. "Perhaps. I need to do some thinking."

  After he walked away, it occurred to me that I didn't know about continuing our friendship, either. He was not the only one who needed to think.

  In the meantime I decided to make myself helpful in the circle where I stood. I was at Mercy Home. I might as well go inside and see what I could do to be useful.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  The smell of blood hit me when I walked in the door, and the smell of fear was perhaps even stronger. What was going on here? No one had entered or left while Jame and I sat on the steps. In fact, the street outside had been remarkably empty, I recalled now, though I hadn't noticed at the time. There had been silence in the street. Windows in the nearby buildings had been dark. And had there been a distant roar like an ocean swell to the north that I had not registered because of its familiarity?

  Had I been so involved in my personal situation that I had not been aware of trouble? How selfishly stupid could I be?

  Patients had need of me.

  I hurried toward the scent of blood.

  "I am so very glad to see you," Mistress Reed said when I entered the walk-in waiting room. It was crowded to the rafters, with a line waiting by each of the two treatment cubicles. The smell of smoke rose off people's clothes. Ashes smeared many faces. A child was crying.

  "What has happened?" I asked.

  "A riot by the canal," said Lord North. "And it is your fault."

  My gaze focused on the tall man standing at the edge of the crowd. He was coatless. His vest was stained and one sleeve of his white shirt was ripped. He was the one holding the crying child.

  Unexpected tears stung the back of my eyes. "What do you mean my--?"

  "I'm teasing, gel." He cradled the child's head as he came closer to me. "I thought you of all people recognize my odd sense of humor."

  "Not tonight," I said. I remembered Jame walking away. My letting him walk away. "I have no humor tonight."

  "The truth, then. I took your information about trouble for sailors on the Eastside to heart and came down for a look. While I was talking to a group of sailors, some fool cleric came up and started shouting at me. A crowd gathered. Things got out of hand. Someone started a fire." He gestured with his free hand. "And these poor innocent folk got in the middle of the fight. I brought the injured here."

  "But no one came through the front door...?"

  "Does that matter?" Mistress Reed interrupted.

  I had noticed that Lord North and I had a tendency to engage in conversation at inappropriate times.

  "We found a side door. I am no proponent of frontal assaults when I do not know the lay of the water or whereabouts of the enemy."

  "Wise of you," I said. I held out my arms. "Now give me the baby so I can see what's wrong with it."

  "Girl," the little one spoke up for herself. "My name's Meggie. I'm three."

  "The doctor's name is Meggie, too," Lord North said. He gently passed her over to me. "Doctor Meggie will take good care of you."

  I took Meggie behind the entrance desk and settled onto the floor with her. "What hurts, honey?" I asked as I ran my hands over her. She held up her left hand. "Well, no wonder you're crying. You have a broken finger." I looked up. "Mistress Reed, could you have a nurse bring me some supplies, perhaps move a table out here, as the examining rooms are already occupied?"

  "Already taken care of," the administrator of Mercy Home answered.

  The efficiency of the woman always amazed me. Along with her hard work, and her genuine concern for people’s welfare. She showed a cool attitude, but truly cared very deeply. I nodded my thanks to her and returned my attention to Meggie. Lord North had sat down cross-legged on the floor and was holding her once more. Meggie relaxed aga
inst him. I was reminded that he was a father, probably more experienced with children than I.

  "Do you know where your mother might be?" he asked her.

  In answer, a woman called out, "Meggie? Has anyone seen a little girl?" from within the crowd on the other side of the desk.

  "Here!" Lord North called.

  "Mummy!"

  Within moments Meggie's mother had exchanged places with Lord North, and held her daughter while I quickly set and splinted the child's finger. Poor Meggie howled, and told me she hated me, but her mother told her that it had to be done, and thanked me kindly.

  I moved to stand by the examining table, and caught sight of Lord North as I beckoned over my next patient. The Lord of the Admiralty was talking to an official of the Home Guard, and a naval officer. My impression from overhearing a few words was that North was coordinating efforts at riot and fire control. Lord High Admirals are handy to have around in emergencies.

  I got a quick glance from him that told me he knew exactly what I was thinking.

  "It's the uniform," we both said.

  I turned to a new patient.

  When I next noticed the group, the officer had gone, but been replaced by another, and Mistress Reed was with them. I went to speak to her.

  "Doctor Bay and his apprentice should remain here, but I need to set up a medical station as close as safely possible to the fighting. We can take out a couple of carry carts loaded with supplies. I'll need nurses and stretcher bearers to bring the most seriously wounded back here for treatment."

  "You'll need guards," North said.