by Jean M. Auel
The shaman’s words disturbed Jondalar, but he derived a strange sort of comfort from them, too. When the man of the Mammoth Hearth had feared for Ayla’s safety, why had he asked him to stay? And why did Mamut say it was he who brought her back? She was Promised to Ranec, and there was no doubt of the carver’s feeling for her. If Ranec was there, why did Mamut want him? Why didn’t Ranec bring her back? What did the old man know? Whatever it was, Jondalar could not bear the thought of not being there if she needed him again, or of letting her face some terrible danger without him, but neither could he bear the thought of her living with another man. He couldn’t decide whether to go or stay.
“Wolf! Put that down!” Rugie cried, angry and upset. She and Rydag were playing at the Mammoth Hearth where Nezzie had told them to go so she could pack. “Ayla! Wolf has my doll and won’t put her down.”
Ayla was sitting on the middle of her bed surrounded by neat piles of her things. “Wolf! Drop it!” she commanded. “Come here,” she signaled.
Wolf dropped the doll, which was made of scraps of leather, and slunk with his tail between his legs to Ayla. “Up here,” she said, patting the place at the head of her bed where he usually slept. The wolf pup jumped up. “Now, lie down, and don’t bother Rugie and Rydag any more.” He lay down with his head on his paws, staring up at her with woeful, penitent eyes.
Ayla went back to sorting through her things, but soon stopped and watched the two children playing together on the floor of the Mammoth Hearth, not meaning to stare, but intrigued. They were playing “hearths,” making believe they were sharing a hearth the way grown-up women and men did. Their “child” was the leather doll, fashioned into a human shape with a round head, a body, arms and legs, wrapped in a soft skin blanket. It was the doll that fascinated Ayla. She never had a doll; people of the Clan did not make images of any kind, drawn, sculpted, or fashioned out of leather, but it reminded her of a wounded rabbit she once brought back to the cave for Iza to heal. She had cuddled and rocked the rabbit the same way Rugie held and played with the doll.
Ayla knew it was usually Rugie who initiated the games. Sometimes they played that they were joined, other times that they were “leaders,” a brother and sister in charge of their own camp. Ayla watched the little blond girl and the brown-haired boy, suddenly conscious of his Clan features. Rugie thinks of him as her brother, Ayla thought, but she doubted that they would ever be co-leaders of a Camp.
Rugie gave the doll to Rydag to tend, then got up and walked away on some imagined errand. Rydag watched her go, then put the doll down, and looked up at Ayla and smiled. The boy wasn’t as interested in the imaginary baby after Rugie failed to return in a short time. He preferred real babies, though he didn’t mind going along with Rugie’s play when she was there. After a while, Rydag got up and left, too. Rugie had forgotten the game, and the doll for a while, and Rydag went to find her, or to find something else to do.
Ayla went back to making her decisions about what to take along to the Summer Meeting. In the last year, it seemed, she had sorted through her things too many times, making decisions about what to take and what to leave. This time she was packing to travel, and would only take what she could carry. Tulie had already spoken to her about using the horses and travois to bring gifts; it would increase both her status and that of the Lion Camp. She picked up the hide she had dyed red and shook it out, trying to decide if she would need it. She had never been able to make up her mind what to make out of the red hide. She didn’t know what she could use it for now, but red was sacred to the Clan, and besides, she liked it. She folded it up and put it with the few other things she wanted to take besides essentials: the carved horse she loved so much, which Ranec had given to her at her adoption, and the new muta; the beautiful flint point from Wymez; some jewelry, beads and necklaces; her outfit from Deegie, the white tunic she had made, and Durc’s cloak.
Her mind wandered while she went through a few more items, and she found herself thinking about Rydag. Would he ever really have a mate, like Durc? She didn’t think there would be any girls like him at the Summer Meeting. She wasn’t sure he would even reach adulthood, she realized. It made her grateful that her son had been strong and healthy, and that he would have a mate. Broud’s clan would be getting ready to go to the Clan Gathering about now, if they hadn’t already left. Ura would be expecting to go back with them to mate with Durc eventually, and probably dreading the thought of leaving her own clan. Poor Ura, it would be hard for her to leave the people she knew to go live in a strange place with a strange clan. A thought crossed Ayla’s mind that had not occurred to her before. Would she like Durc? Would he like her? She hoped so, because it wasn’t likely they would have any other choice.
Thinking about her son, Ayla reached for a pouch she had brought back from the valley, opened it and dumped out its contents. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the ivory carving. She picked it up. It was of a woman, but not like any of the female carvings she had ever seen, and she realized now how unusual it was. Most muta, except for Ranec’s symbolic bird-women, were full, round motherly shapes with only a knob, sometimes decorated, for a head. They were all meant to symbolize the Mother, but this was a carving of a slender woman, with the hair done in many small braids, the way she used to wear hers. Most surprising, it had a carefully carved face, with a fine nose and chin, and a suggestion of eyes.
She held the carving in her hand, and it blurred in front of her eyes as all the memories came back. Without knowing it, tears were streaming down her face. Jondalar had carved it, in the valley. When he made it, he said he wanted to capture her spirit so they would never be apart. That was why he made it to resemble her, even though no one was supposed to make an image in the likeness of an actual person, for fear of trapping the spirit. He said he wanted her to have the carving, so no one could use it for malicious purposes against her. It was her first muta, she realized. He gave it to her after her First Rites, when he had made her a real woman.
She would never forget that summer in her valley, just the two of them, together. But Jondalar was going to leave without her. She clutched the ivory figure to her chest and wished she was going with him. Wolf was whimpering at her in sympathy, inching forward because he knew he was supposed to stay where he was. She reached for him, and buried her face in his fur, while he tried to lick away her salty tears.
She heard someone coming down the passageway, and sat up quickly, wiped her face, and struggled to contain herself. She turned around as though she was looking for something behind her when Barzec and Druwez walked past, involved in their own conversation. Then she put the carving back in the pouch and carefully put it on top of the bright red leather hide she had dyed, to take with her. She could never leave her first muta behind.
Later that evening, when the Lion Camp was getting ready to share a meal, Wolf suddenly growled menacingly, and raced toward the front entrance. Ayla jumped up and ran after him, wondering what could be wrong. Several others followed her. When she pushed open the drape, she was surprised to see a stranger, a very frightened stranger, backing away from a nearly grown wolf who looked ready to attack.
“Wolf! Come!” Ayla ordered. The wolf pup retreated reluctantly, but he still faced the strange man with bared teeth and a growl low in his throat.
“Ludeg!” Talut said, stepping forward with a big smile and a great bear hug. “Come in. Come inside. It’s cold.”
“I … ah … don’t know,” the man said, eying the young wolf. “Are there any more inside like that?”
“No. No others,” Ayla said. “Wolf will not hurt you. I will not let him.”
Ludeg looked at Talut, not knowing whether to believe the unfamiliar woman. “Why do you have a wolf in your lodge?”
“It is a long story, but one better told by a warm fire. Come in, Ludeg. The young wolf will not harm you. I promise,” Talut said, casting a meaningful glance at Ayla, as he guided the young man through the archway.
Ayla knew exactly wh
at his look meant. Wolf had better not hurt this stranger. She followed them in, signaling the young animal to stay beside her, but she didn’t know how to tell him to stop growling. This was a new situation. She knew that wolves, though very affectionate and attached to their own packs, were known to attack and kill strangers who invaded their territory. Wolf’s behavior was perfectly understandable, but that didn’t make it acceptable. He would have to get used to strangers, whether he liked it or not.
Nezzie greeted the son of her cousin warmly, took his haversack and his parka, and gave them to Danug to take to a spare bed platform at the Mammoth Hearth, then filled a plate and found a place for him to sit. Ludeg kept glancing toward the wolf warily, filled with nervous apprehension, and every time Wolf saw his look, the menacing rumble in his throat intensified. When Ayla shushed him, he flattened his ears back and crouched down, but the next moment he was growling at the stranger again. She thought about restraining Wolf with a rope around his neck, but she didn’t think that would solve anything. It would only make the defensive animal more anxious, and in turn put the man more on edge.
Rydag had been hanging back, shy around the visitor, even though he knew him, but he was quick to see the problem. He sensed that the man’s tense wariness was contributing to the problem. Maybe if he saw that the wolf was friendly, Ludeg would relax. Most people were crowded into the cooking hearth, and when Rydag heard Hartal wake up, he got an idea. He went to the Reindeer Hearth and comforted the toddler, then took his hand and walked him toward the cooking hearth, but not to his mother. Instead he headed toward Ayla and Wolf.
Hartal had lately developed a strong attraction for the frisky pup, and the moment he saw the furry gray creature, he chortled with glee. With delight, Hartal ran toward the wolf, but his baby steps were unsteady. He stumbled and fell on him. Wolf yelped, but his only reaction was to lick the baby’s face, which caused Hartal to giggle. He pushed the warm, wet tongue away, putting his pudgy little hands into the long jaws full of sharp teeth, then grabbed fistfuls of furry coat and tried to pull Wolf toward him.
Forgetting his nervousness, Ludeg stared with round-eyed surprise at the toddler manhandling the wolf, but more, at the fierce carnivore’s patient, gentle acceptance. Nor could Wolf keep up his defensive watchfulness of the stranger under the assault, and he was not full grown and not quite capable of the sustained persistence of adult members of his species. Ayla smiled at Rydag, knowing immediately that he had brought Hartal for exactly the purpose that had been achieved. When Tronie came and got her son, Ayla picked up Wolf, deciding the time was right to introduce him to the stranger.
“I think Wolf will get used to you faster if you let him learn your scent,” she said to the young man.
Ayla spoke the language perfectly, but Ludeg noticed a difference in the way she said some of her words. He looked at her carefully for the first time, wondering who she was. He knew she had not been with the Lion Camp when they left last year. In fact, he didn’t recall ever seeing her before, and he was certain he would have remembered such a beautiful woman. Where had she come from? He looked up and noticed a tall, blond stranger watching him.
“What do I need to do?” he asked.
“I think if you just let him smell your hand, it would help. He likes to be petted, too, but I would not try to rush it. He needs a little time to get to know you,” Ayla said.
Rather tentatively, Ludeg reached out his hand. Ayla put Wolf down to let him sniff at it, but stayed protectively close. She didn’t think Wolf would attack, but she wasn’t sure. After a time, the man reached out to touch the thick, shedding fur. He had never touched a living wolf before, and it was rather exciting. He smiled at Ayla, and thought again how beautiful she was when she smiled back.
“Talut, I think I’d better tell my news quickly,” Ludeg said. “I think the Lion Camp has stories I’d like to hear.”
The big headman smiled. This was the kind of interest he welcomed. Runners usually came with news to tell, and were chosen as much because they liked to tell a good story as for their ability to run fast.
“Tell us, then. What news do you bring?” Talut asked.
“Most important is the change of gathering place for the Summer Meeting. The Wolf Camp is hosting. The Meeting place that was chosen last year was washed out. I have other news, sad news. I stopped off at a Sungaea Camp for a night. There is sickness, killing sickness. Some have died, and when I left, the son and daughter of the headwoman were very sick. There was some doubt if they would live.”
“Oh, that’s terrible!” Nezzie said.
“What kind of sickness do they have?” Ayla asked.
“It seems to be in the chest. High fever, deep cough, and hard to breathe.”
“How far is this place?” Ayla asked.
“Don’t you know?”
“Ayla was a visitor, but she has been adopted,” Tulie said. Then she turned to Ayla. “It is not too far.”
“Can we go there, Tulie? Or can someone take me there? If those children are sick, maybe I can help.”
“I don’t know. What do you think, Talut?”
“It’s out of the way if the Summer Meeting is going to be held at Wolf Camp, and they are not even related, Tulie.”
“I think Darnev had distant kin at that Camp,” Tulie said. “And it is a shame for a young brother and sister to be so sick.”
“Perhaps we should go, but we should leave, then, as soon as we can,” Talut said.
Ludeg had been listening with great interest. “Well, now that I’ve told you my news, I’d like to know about the Lion Camp’s new member, Talut. Is she really a Healer? And where did the wolf come from? I never heard of having a wolf in a lodge.”
“And that’s not all,” Frebec said. “Ayla has two horses, a mare and a young stallion, too.”
The visitor looked at Frebec in disbelief, then settled back and prepared to listen to the stories the Lion Camp had to tell.
In the morning, after a long night of storytelling, Ludeg was given an example of Ayla’s and Jondalar’s horse-riding skills, and was suitably impressed. He left for the next Camp ready to spread the word of the new Mamutoi woman, along with his news of the changed location of the Summer Meeting. The Lion Camp planned to leave the next morning, and the balance of the day was spent in last-minute preparations.
Ayla decided to take more medicines than she usually carried in her medicine bag, and was going through her supply of herbs, talking with Mamut while he packed. The Clan Gathering was much on her mind, and watching the old shaman favor his stiff joints, she recalled that the old people of the Clan, unable to make the long trek, had been left behind. How was Mamut going to manage a long trip? It bothered her enough to go outside and look for Talut, to ask.
“I carry him most of the way, on my back,” Talut explained.
She noticed Nezzie adding a bundle to the pile of things that would be hauled on the travois by the horses. Rydag was sitting on the ground nearby looking disconsolate. Suddenly Ayla went looking for Jondalar. She found him arranging the traveling pack Tulie had given him.
“Jondalar! There you are,” she said.
He looked up, startled. She was the last person he expected to see at that moment. He had just been thinking about her, and how to say goodbye to her. He had decided this was the time, when everyone was leaving the lodge, for him to leave, too. But instead of going with the Lion Camp to the Summer Meeting, he would go the other way and begin his long trek home.
“Do you know how Mamut gets to the Summer Meeting?” Ayla asked.
The question took him entirely by surprise. It was not the most pressing thing on his mind. He wasn’t even sure what she was talking about. “Uh … no,” he said.
“Talut has to carry him, on his back. And then there’s Rydag. He has to be carried, too. I was thinking, Jondalar, you’ve been training Racer, he’s used to carrying someone on his back now, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“And you can contr
ol him, he will go where you want him to, won’t he?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Good! Then there’s no reason Mamut and Rydag can’t ride to the Meeting on the horses. They can’t guide them, but you and I can lead them. It would be so much easier on everyone, and Rydag has been so unhappy lately, it might raise his spirits. Remember how excited he was the first time he rode on Whinney? You don’t mind, do you, Jondalar? We don’t need to ride, everyone else is walking,” Ayla said.
She was so pleased and excited about the idea it was obvious she hadn’t even considered that he might not be going with them. How could he refuse her? he thought. It was a good idea, and the Lion Camp had done so much for him, it seemed the least he could do.
“No. I don’t mind walking,” Jondalar said. He felt a strange sense of lightness as he watched Ayla go to tell Talut, as though a terrible weight had been lifted. He hurried to finish packing, then picking up his gear, went to join the rest of the Camp. Ayla was supervising the loading of the two travois. They were nearly ready to go.
Nezzie saw him coming and smiled at him. “I’m glad you decided to come with us and help Ayla with the horses. Mamut is going to be much more comfortable, I think, and look at Rydag! I haven’t seen him this excited about going to a Summer Meeting ever.”
Why did he have the feeling, Jondalar wondered, that Nezzie knew he had been thinking of going home?
“And think what an impression it will make when we arrive not only with horses, but with people riding on them,” Barzec said.
“Jondalar, we were waiting for you. Ayla wasn’t sure who should ride on which horse,” Talut said.
“I don’t think it makes any difference,” Jondalar said. “Whinney is a little easier to ride. She doesn’t bounce you as hard.”
He noticed that Ranec was helping Ayla balance the loads. He cringed inwardly when he saw them laughing together, and realized how temporary his reprieve was. He had only put off the inevitable, but he was committed now. After Mamut made mysterious gestures and spoke esoteric words, he stuck a muta in the ground at the front entrance to guard the lodge, and then with help from Ayla and Talut, mounted Whinney. He seemed nervous, but it was hard to tell. Jondalar thought he was hiding it well.