by Jean M. Auel
It wasn’t just because Marona and Jondalar had once been a couple. Rather that no one had been more malicious and spiteful to her, beginning with the trick of the boys’ winter underwear so people would laugh at her. But Ayla had faced the laughter down and gained the respect of the Ninth Cave. Now, particularly when she was riding Whinney, she often wore a similar outfit on purpose, and so did many other women, much to Marona’s vexation. Light leggings and a sleeveless tunic in soft leather were quite comfortable to wear when the days were mild.
Ayla had heard talk from some of Matagan’s visiting relatives that Marona had angered some high-status women of the Fifth Cave, kin of Kemordan, the leader, or his mate, for persuading a man who was Promised to one of them to run away with her instead. With her nearly white blond hair and dark gray eyes, she was an attractive woman, though Ayla thought the lines of the frown she wore so often were beginning to etch themselves more deeply on her face. Just like most of her relationships, the liaison didn’t last very long, and after claiming his regret and making satisfactory reparations, he was accepted back, but she was looked upon with less favor. As Ayla neared Zelandoni’s dwelling, her musings slipped into the back of her mind as thoughts of the injured man filled it.
Later in the evening, when she stepped out of the Donier’s abode, which was both her home and an infirmary, she saw Jondalar sitting next to Joharran, Proleva, and Marthona. They had finished their meal and were sipping tea, watching Jonayla and Proleva’s daughter, Sethona. Jonayla was a happy, healthy child and very pretty, everyone said, with fine, very light soft curly hair and Jondalar’s extraordinarily vivid blue eyes. To Ayla, Jonayla was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, but growing up in the Clan had taught her to be reticent in expressing such thoughts about her own child. It could bring bad luck, and when she tried to look at it objectively, she believed she was bound to feel that way about her own offspring, but in her heart, she could hardly believe such an amazing child could be hers.
Sethona, Jonayla’s close cousin, born only a few days before her and a constant playmate, was gray-eyed with dark blond hair. Ayla thought she resembled Marthona; she already showed elements of the former leader’s dignity and grace, and her clear direct gaze. Ayla turned her attention to Joharran and Jondalar’s mother. Marthona was showing her age, her hair was more gray, her face more lined, but it wasn’t just her physical appearance. She wasn’t well and that worried Ayla. She and Zelandoni had discussed her situation, and every possible remedy and treatment they could think of to help her, but they both knew there was no way to keep Marthona from walking in the next world someday; they could only hope to delay it.
Though she had lost her own mother, Ayla felt herself lucky to have had Iza, the Clan medicine woman, as the mother who raised her as a girl, with Creb, the Mog-ur, as the man of her hearth. Nezzie of the Mamutoi was the mother who wanted to adopt her into the Lion Camp, although the Mamut of the Mammoth Hearth had done it instead. Jondalar’s mother had treated Ayla like a daughter from the first, and she thought of Marthona as her mother, her Zelandonii mother. She felt close to Zelandoni as well, but she was more a mentor and friend.
Wolf was watching the girls, his head down on his front paws. He had noticed Ayla when she approached, but when she didn’t immediately join them, he raised his head and looked at her, which caused everyone else to look, too. That made Ayla aware that she had been so lost in thought she had stopped walking. She continued toward them.
“How is he?” Joharran asked when she neared.
“It is still hard to know. We’ve put splints on the broken bones in his legs and arm, but we don’t know what may be broken inside. He still breathes, but he hasn’t roused. His mate and mother are in with him now,” Ayla said. “Zelandoni feels she should stay with them, but I think someone could bring her something to eat, which might encourage his family to come out and eat, too.”
“I’ll take her the food and try to persuade them to come out here,” Proleva said, getting up and walking toward the stack of visitors’ dishes. She took an ivory plate, which had been flaked off a large mammoth tusk and smoothed with sandstone rocks, and selected some slices of meat from the whole mountain goat kid that had been roasted on a spit. It was a rare treat. Several hunters from the Ninth and neighboring Caves had gone ibex hunting, and had had some luck. Proleva added some leafy greens and lightly cooked spring stalks of new thistle and roots of some kind, then carried it to the entrance of Zelandoni’s dwelling and scratched at the exposed side of a piece of rawhide next to the heavy leather drape across the entrance. A moment later she went in. Not long after, she walked out with the mate and mother of the injured man, brought them to the main hearth, and gave them visitor plates.
“I should go back in,” Ayla said, looking at Jondalar. “Did Matagan tell you I will probably be late tonight?”
“Yes. I’ll put Jonayla to bed,” he said, standing and picking up the child. He embraced the woman, touching cheeks, while Ayla held them both close.
“I rode Gray today,” Jonayla said. “Jondy took me out. He rode Racer. Whinney came too, but she didn’t have anyone to ride her. Why don’t you come, mama?”
“I wish I could have, Baby,” Ayla said, hugging them both again. Her pet name for her child was similar to the word for “baby” that she had called the injured lion cub she had once found, nursed back to health, and then raised. It was a modification of the Clan word for “infant” or “little one.” “But a man fell down and got hurt today. Zelandoni has been trying to make him feel better, and I’ve been helping her.”
“When he gets better, will you come?” Jonayla said.
“Yes, when he gets better, I will come riding with you,” Ayla said, thinking, if he gets better. Then she turned to Jondalar. “Why don’t you take Wolf with you, too.” She had noticed the mate of the man eyeing the animal warily. Everyone knew about the wolf and most had seen him, at least from a distance, but not everyone had tried to find a place to sit and eat with him nearby. The woman had also been looking askance at Ayla, especially after hearing the word she had used to refer to her child. Even modified, the word had a distinctly strange and unfamiliar sound.
After Jondalar left with Jonayla and Wolf, Ayla went back into Zelandoni’s dwelling. “Has there been any improvement in Jacharal?” she asked.
“Not that I’ve been able to see,” the One Who Was First said. She was glad the two women relatives had gone out so she could speak frankly. “Sometimes people languish in this condition for quite a while. If someone can manage to get them to take in water and food, they last longer, but if not they are gone within days. It’s as though the spirit is confused, the elan is not sure if it wants to leave this world while the body still breathes, even if the rest of the body is damaged beyond repair. Sometimes they wake up, but may not be able to move, or some part of them won’t move or doesn’t heal right. Occasionally, given enough time, some people will heal from a fall like that, but most often they don’t.”
“Has he lost fluid from his nose or ears?” Ayla asked.
“Not since he’s been here. There is an injury to his head, but it doesn’t seem very deep, just a few superficial scratches. He has so many broken bones, I’m guessing his real damage is internal. I’ll watch him tonight.”
“I’ll stay with you. Jondalar took Jonayla, and Wolf, with him. This man’s mate seemed uncomfortable around Wolf,” Ayla said. “I thought most people were used to him by now.”
“I suspect she hasn’t had time to get used to your wolf. She’s not from here; Amelana is her name. Jacharal’s mother told me the story. He went on a Journey to the south, mated her there, and brought her back with him. I’m not even sure if she was born in Zelandonii territory or only near it. The borders of territories are not always clear. She seems to speak it well enough, though with that southern inflection, a little like Beladora, Kimeran’s mate.”
“What a shame, to come all the way here, and then possibly lose her man. I don’t k
now what I would have done if something had happened to Jondalar right after I got here, or even now,” Ayla said, shuddering at the thought.
“You would stay here and become a Zelandoni, just as you are now. You said yourself, you don’t really have anyplace to go back to. You’re not going to make the long Journey all the way back to the Mamutoi alone, and weren’t you adopted by them? You’re more than adopted here. You belong. You are Zelandonii,” the woman said.
Ayla was a little surprised at the vehemence of the First’s statement, but more than that, she was gratified. It let her know she was wanted.
It wasn’t the next morning, but early the day after, that Ayla finally returned to her home. The sun was just coming up, and she paused a moment to watch the glowing color, brighter in one spot, begin to saturate the sky across The River. The rain had stopped, but clouds hanging low on the horizon strung out in wispy threads of brilliant reds and golds. When the searing light first lifted above the cliffs, Ayla tried to shade her eyes to take notice of the formations nearby so she could compare the rising of the intense radiance with where it rose the day before.
Soon she would be required to note the risings and settings of the sun and moon for a whole year. The hardest part of that, she was told by others of the zelandonia, was missing sleep, especially watching the moon, which sometimes first appeared or disappeared in the middle of the day, and sometimes in the middle of the night. The sun, of course, always rose in the morning and set in the evening, but some days were longer than others, and it moved across the horizon in a predictable way. For half the year as the days grew longer, it traveled a little farther north every day until it stood still for a few days in the middle of summer, when the days were longest, the time of the Summer Longday. Then it reversed its direction, setting a little farther south every day while the days got shorter, passing the time when day and night were the same length, and the sun set nearly directly west, until it stood still again for a few days in the middle of winter, the time of the Winter Shortday.
Ayla had talked with Jacharal’s mother and Amelana, and had become better acquainted with the young woman. They had at least one thing in common: they were both foreign women who had mated Zelandonii men. She was quite young, Ayla realized, and a little unpredictable and capricious. And she was pregnant, and still suffering some morning sickness. She really wished they could do more for Jacharal, for Amelana’s sake as well as his own.
Both Ayla and Zelandoni watched him closely, for themselves as well as for him. They wanted to see his progress to try to learn more about conditions such as his. So far they had managed to get some water into him, but it was only reflex action that caused him to swallow, and sometimes choke, when they put water in his mouth. He didn’t wake up as a result of their efforts. While they were together, Zelandoni also spent some time instructing Ayla in the ways of the zelandonia. They discussed medicines and healing practices, and conducted several ceremonies in an effort to elicit the help of the Great Earth Mother. Ayla was familiar with only some of it. They hadn’t yet gotten the whole community involved in the healing ceremonies, which would be much more elaborate and formal.
They also discussed a forthcoming Journey the older woman wanted to make with her acolyte, a long Journey that would take the entire summer, and she wanted to leave soon. There were several Sacred Sites to the south and the east that the First thought they should visit. They would not be going alone. Not only would Jondalar come, but Willamar, the Trade Master, and his two young assistants. They were discussing who else should make the trip with them, and Jonokol’s name came up. The idea of traveling so far to see new places was exciting, but Ayla knew it would also be arduous, and was grateful for the horses. It would make traveling easier for her and the First. Besides, Zelandoni liked arriving on the pole-drag being pulled by Whinney. It created a commotion and she liked doing things that brought attention to the zelandonia, and the importance of the position of the First.
When Ayla arrived at her dwelling, she thought about making a morning tea for Jondalar, but she was so tired. She hadn’t slept much, staying up so Zelandoni could rest. In the morning, the Donier had sent her home to get some sleep. It was so early, everyone was still sleeping, except Wolf, who was outside waiting to greet her. She smiled when she saw him. It amazed her how he always seemed to know when she was coming, or where she was going.
When she went in, Ayla noticed that Jonayla was sleeping beside Jondalar. She had her own smaller sleeping roll beside theirs, but she liked to crawl in with them, and when Ayla wasn’t there, which was happening more often, she climbed in with him. Ayla started to pick Jonayla up to move her back to her own sleeping place, then changed her mind and decided to let them finish sleeping without being disturbed. They’d be up soon enough. She went to Jonayla’s bed, and though it was small, there was extra bedding in the storage area. Rearranging her child’s bedroll somewhat, she used it instead. When Jondalar woke up and saw Ayla sleeping in Jonayla’s place, he smiled, then frowned. He thought she must have been very tired, but he missed having her beside him.
Jacharal died a few days later, without ever waking up. Ayla used the travois to transport him back to the Seventh Cave. His mother wanted the funeral ceremony to be held there and him to be buried nearby so his elan would be in a familiar area while he was finding his way to the next world. Ayla, Jondalar, Zelandoni, and several others from the Ninth and neighboring Caves and all the people from Bear Hill took part in the burying ritual. Afterward Amelana approached Zelandoni and Ayla and asked to talk with them.
“Someone told me that you are planning to make a Journey south soon. Is that true?” Amelana said.
“Yes,” Zelandoni said, wondering what the young woman wanted. She thought she knew and was already considering how to handle it.
“Will you take me with you? I want to go home,” the young woman said, her eyes welling up with tears.
“But this is your home, isn’t it?” the First said.
“I don’t want to stay here,” Amelana cried. “I didn’t know that Jacharal wanted to move to New Home and live at Bear Hill. I don’t like it. There’s nothing there. Everything has to be made or built, even our dwelling, and it’s still not finished. They don’t even have a Zelandoni. I’m pregnant and I would have to walk to another Cave to have my baby. Now I don’t even have Jacharal. I told him not to climb up High Rock.”
“Have you talked to Jacharal’s mother? I’m sure you could stay at the Seventh Cave.”
“I don’t want to stay at the Seventh Cave. I don’t know the people there either, and some of them haven’t been very nice to me because I come from the south. I am Zelandonii after all.”
“You could move to the Second Cave. Beladora is from the south,” the First said.
“She’s south, but more east and she’s a leader’s mate. I don’t really know her. And I just want to go home. I want to have my baby there. I miss my mother,” Amelana said, and burst out into sobs.
“How far along are you?” Zelandoni asked.
“My bleeding stopped more than three Moons ago,” she said, sniffling.
“Well, if you are sure you want to leave, we’ll take you with us,” Zelandoni said.
The young woman smiled through her tears. “Thank you! Oh, thank you.”
“Do you know where your Cave is?”
“It’s on the central highland, a little toward the east, not far from the Southern Sea.”
“We may not be going there directly. There are some places we need to stop along the way.”
“I don’t mind if we stop,” Amelana said, then added a little tentatively, “but I would like to get home before the baby comes.”
“I think we can manage that,” said the One Who Was First.
After Amelana left, Zelandoni mumbled under her breath, “The handsome stranger visits your Cave and it seems so romantic to run off with him to make a home in a new place. I have no doubt she pleaded just as hard with her mother to let her get
mated and go live with him at his home. But once you arrive, you find it’s not so different from the old one, only you don’t know anyone. Then your exciting new mate decides to join with a group that wants to make a new Cave. They expect you to be as excited about making a place of your own as they are, but they have only moved around the hill from their old Cave, and they are with people they know.
“Amelana is a total stranger, with a slightly different way of speaking, and probably used to a little coddling, who has moved to a new place where customs and expectations are a little different. She doesn’t need the excitement of making a new home; she has just moved to a new home. She needs to be able to settle down and learn about her new people. But her mate, who has already shown that he likes to take risks just by going on a Journey, is ready for the adventure of creating a new Cave with his—but not her—friends and relatives.
“They were probably both beginning to regret their hasty mating, beginning to argue about differences, perceived and real, and then she finds herself pregnant with no one to make a fuss over her. Her mother and aunts, and all her sisters and cousins and friends, are back at the home she left. And then her danger-loving mate takes one risk too many and dies. It’s probably better for everyone if she goes back to her home, a little wiser for her adventure. She really doesn’t have anyone here with whom she has a close attachment.”
“I didn’t have anyone here when I came,” Ayla said.
“But you did. You had Jondalar,” Zelandoni said.
“You said that her mate already had shown that he liked to take risks by going on a Journey. I met Jondalar on his Journey. Didn’t that make him a man who liked risks?”
“He was not the one who loved to take risks; his brother was. He went along to be with Thonolan, to protect him, knowing of his tendency to rush into precarious situations. And he had no one here to hold him. Marona really had nothing to offer him, except an occasional interlude of Pleasures. He loved his brother more than her, and perhaps he wanted to get out of the implied Promise that she was assuming much more than he was, but he wasn’t able to just come out and tell her. He was always looking for someone special. For a while he thought he found it with me, and I admit I was tempted, but I knew that it would never work. I’m glad that he found what he wanted with you, Ayla,” the large woman said. “Your situation, though superficially similar, is not at all the same as Amelana’s.”