by Lori Folkman
“So we don’t have to … attribute him?” Ben felt every muscle in his body tighten. Like he was bracing himself for a punch.
“No. We’ll keep this just between us. No one will ever have to know.”
Ben pulled the door open. His body felt weird: numb almost. He was relieved. But still. He wished it wasn’t an issue.
“Ben?” Paul called out. “I’m glad that you told me. I needed a heads up on this one. Just in case .…”
“Right.” Just in case. That meant that maybe this wasn’t the end of the subject. “Do you think anyone will figure it out?” his voice felt weak. Childish, almost.
“Not likely. And if anyone does … well, it will be taken care of. You really don’t need to spend any more time worrying about it.”
While Ben would have like to hash out every scenario, Paul was obviously done with this conversation. He asked Ben to make sure the door latched on his way out. Ben shut the door and saw the keypad alarm engage. He wouldn’t be going back in to Paul’s office for who knows how long. Until Time went platinum, maybe.
Ben went to the theater room and cranked a movie as loud as it could go. He didn’t want anyone—especially Paul—to think that he was losing sleep over this issue. But in actuality, he didn’t know what movie he was watching. He wasn’t even looking at the screen. He was staring off into space, thinking about that issue.
He was grateful that it didn’t seem to be as big a problem as he had originally thought. He wouldn’t have to attribute Dan. That was good news. But there was more to it than that. He would always worry that someone else would know. That someone would challenge him on it.
And even worse was what it had done to Ben. He regretted ever taking Dan’s songwriting notebook out of its case. Opening it was like opening a can of rotting, demon worms. Sure, Ben hadn’t been capable of musical genius before he had looked at that notebook. It had unlocked this unknown conduit of inspiration for him. But it was at a cost. And he didn’t know if even the most stellar success was worth the price: being haunted by the ghosts of Dan Wilder.
……
This is Juliet Hamblin with HTV news. Unless you’ve had your head stuck in the sand, you’ve probably heard Ben Wilder’s new single. The general consensus it that this song is awesome, but now we have proof. “Generations” has just made the fastest climb to number one in Billboard history, beating out the old record set by Pearl Jam in 1994. It looks like Ben is going to be following in the footsteps of his dad, the infamous Dan Wilder. Dan’s first song, “In the Dark,” stayed at number one for eight weeks; and after “Generations” enormous chart climb, experts predict that this song will break Dan’s record. Eve:
You know, we’ve all been watching Ben for quite some time. Everyone has great expectations for him: but I think we are all a little surprised with the direction that he’s taken with this new song. He’s really crossed over into the genre of alternative rock rather than remaining in the teen-pop arena. It’s a bold move for someone as young as Ben: he’s not even eighteen yet. But it appears that he’s ready to take over the torch from Dan’s career. It will be interesting to see if he can do it: or if it’s too much too soon.
It is an interesting turn for Ben. But what intrigues me more is how he seems to be finally acknowledging his heritage. It’s always seemed like he has shied away from building his career on his father’s foundation. Now it seems that Ben is embracing his past. The lyrics to this song really give insight into Ben’s life; his history. When you hear those lyrics in combination with his voice—which is beginning to sound remarkably similar to Dan’s—it gives you chills. It’s definitely a link between the “Generations” that we haven’t seen before. What we are seeing is Ben—America’s Son— mature both physically and mentally. It think that this is going to be a big year for Ben Wilder.
……
Life had returned to normal. Almost. Jackson was still struggling to make-up on all the missed schoolwork. Not that he’d missed that much school, it was just that he hadn’t been able to stay after school to do any of extra projects in over a month. The projects that kept his GPA at 4.0. He also had about an entire month’s worth of sleep to catch up on. So he went to school, stayed after school, went home and slept. That was his life.
For the first time since middle school, Jackson and Kat stopped hanging out every day. They still hung at lunch and as much as they could during class. But the afterschool socializing had come to an abrupt halt. Not even so much as a text message passed between them in at least two weeks.
Jackson felt bad about it. He missed her. But. He didn’t have time for her right now. And he didn’t see that she really had any time for him.
Supposedly, she was way behind at her dance school. She had routines to learn for their big spring recital. Routines that the other girls had been working on for almost a month. And she had schoolwork to make up too, because Kat had actually missed a lot of days of school amidst the entire “Generations” shoot. But he didn’t ever see Kat staying after school. Her car was there though.
Apparently, Ben had been giving her rides to the dance studio. At least that was her story. But there was that one night when Jackson’s mom had sent him to the store to buy milk, and he had seen her car still abandoned in the school parking lot at nine p.m. (the school was on the way to the store, by the way. It’s not like he was stalking her. Or worried about her.) But he knew that her dance classes had never gone that late before. So maybe she wasn’t even making it to the studio. For all he knew, she was hanging out in some penthouse downtown eating caviar.
He was, quite frankly, surprised that Ben had continued pursuing Kat once the filming ended. It just seemed so … unlikely. She was just Kat after all. And he was Ben Wilder. He dated beautiful young actresses, models (very HOT models), and other up-and coming musicians, who were also drop-dead-gorgeous. How could Kat possibly hold water to that—in Ben’s eyes?
Also surprising was the fact that Jackson’s friendship with Ben wasn’t terminated at the end of filming either. Ben texted Jackson frequently. Even called him a few times. Ben had invited Jackson over a few days ago to play video games. As much as Jackson wanted to (Ben had to have a killer game system. Jackson drooled just thinking about it.), he had to take a rain check. He was still swamped, he explained. Ben seemed a little taken aback at the rejection, but then he countered by telling Jackson that he was invited to come play video games, anytime. Cool.
Speaking of cool, Jackson had also been invited to sit in on the final editing. He hadn’t expected that. Regrettably, he only had time to make it once. But the director, Tim, promised Jackson that he’d invite him to sit in on another edit: one for a future project. When Jackson had some free time. Jackson felt honored. Tim had been more than kind to him. Especially considering how far the video had strayed from Jackson’s treatment.
More than just Tim being kind, the entire Wilder camp had shown more benevolence than Jackson had expected. The video release party? Jackson was thunderstruck. He really didn’t deserve a tribute like that. For a fleeting moment, he had wondered if the tribute party was intended to impress Kat. But then a second later, Jackson had realized that Kat didn’t need to be impressed. Ben already had her licking the soles of his shoes. She’d been doing a spit shine to the bottom of his shoes before she even met him.
So that meant that there was a lot more depth to Ben than Jackson had ever wanted to admit. As Jackson came to know Ben better, Jackson recognized that Ben was decent. Kind. Generous. Cool. And it kinda gnawed away at Jackson’s skin. It meant that Kat was right about Ben. And it meant that Ben was the perfect guy. In every way. Hardly seemed fair.
With just days until the release party, both Jackson and Kat were invited to the Wild Sun Corporate Office to preview the video. Jackson was already there, munching his way through a large bowl of pistachios. He was probably just supposed to grab a handful and walk away from the bowl. But he was nervous. He had to keep his mouth busy.
He couldn
’t quite understand the anxiety. It was his video treatment … but then again it wasn’t. So that fact right there should take away his accountability. But he still felt like he was about to stand on a stage à la Daniel Radcliffe.
He just wished that Kat would hurry up and get there already. She was late—holding up the show. Well, technically they weren’t just waiting for Kat. They were waiting for that other guy as well.
Ben and Kat finally arrived—fifteen minutes late. They were holding hands and walking shoulder to shoulder. They both were smiling, like they were sharing some inside joke. And no one even scolded them for being late. Jackson did though. But quietly. And just to Kat. She countered with, “This the last ever pistachio crop?”
Jackson looked at the shells on the conference table in front of him. Oops. He’d amassed quite a pile. Jumbo the Elephant would have been impressed. Ben sat down on the other side of Kat. His eyebrow rose when he saw the shell pile. Jackson was tempted to dump the pile on the floor—just like he had done with his peanut shells at that BBQ restaurant his parents took him to on his last birthday—then no one else would see the amount he’d digested. But instead, he defended himself to Katrina, but said it loud enough for Ben to hear as well. “If you guys would have been on time, there would have been pistachios left for you. Your loss.”
“We got stuck … in traffic,” Kat replied. She was still smiling.
“Oh really? Where?” Jackson had made record time to the office building. And he drove a Geo. Ben’s cars were all twice as fast. Traffic had been exceptionally light during Jackson’s drive in. Ben and Kat would have come from the same direction. He didn’t buy their story.
“Um …” Kat began.
“On the parkway. Wreck.” Ben interjected.
“Across all three lanes?” Jackson wanted the truth. They’d pulled over to make-out. Kat’s flushed cheeks said it all. What was wrong with just admitting it? Everyone knew they were together in that way anyhow. It made them look like fools to try and cover it up.
Paul silenced the room. He had a speech prepared, thanking everyone for their hard work. Thanking the editing team for their quick work. Tim for his direction. Paul didn’t acknowledge Jackson … or Kat for that matter. Which wasn’t really surprising. And it also meant that all of the recognition coming from Wild Sun Corp. was coming solely from Ben.
The wall-sized TV lit up and the video began to play. Jackson saw Kat put a hand to her mouth. She was nervous. He slid the bowl of pistachios in front of her. She smiled, turned toward Jackson and gave him look that said thanks. Then Ben put his arm around her. Jackson heard Ben whisper (a little too loudly), “You look awesome up there. Beautiful.”
Kat was no longer interested in Jackson or his offering of pistachios. She was leaning toward Ben, listening to more of his whispers about the video.
So Jack ignored her and turned his focus to the video as well. He’d seen so many of the parts, yet this was his first time seeing it start to finish. Really, it was amazing. The coolest video he’d seen in years. And he finally saw that it really was his treatment … just jazzed up. He would have still preferred it done his way. But. The choreography was amazing. Timely, yet timeless. And the dancing was good. Kat especially. Wow. She looked great up there. Beautiful, just like Ben had said. Not that Jackson would ever say that to her. It’d go to her head. He wanted to keep her humble. And that kiss even (or those eight kisses made to look like one): he didn’t quite know the word for it. It was … enticing. Made him want to go out and kiss someone.
When the video finished and the dozen or so people in the room had finally stopped applauding, Paul went over what sounded like a disclaimer. What to say to the press about the “Generations” video. What not to say. Basically, anything said to the press was to be generalized. Things like “It was a great honor to work on this project.”
But one thing from Paul’s instructions stuck out like a pimple on Jackson’s forehead. If anyone was asked about the relationship between Kat and Ben, they were to avoid the question. Say “No comment.” Because there was a press release that was going to cover everything. And Paul didn’t want any of Ben’s people fumbling through a response. So the official statement was going to be that “Ben and Katrina enjoy each other’s company. However, they are just friends.”
Jackson laughed out loud when Paul said that. A few people (especially Kat) gave Jackson some unfriendly glances. It was so totally obvious that Ben and Kat were not friends. They were going to look like idiots if they said that.
Paul asked—in a tone that any high school teacher would have admired, “Did you have something to add, Jackson?” Jackson never got in trouble at school. He didn’t like it happening here. And didn’t like it coming from arrogant Paul.
Jackson got sassy right back. “Yes. I do have something to add. I think that honesty is still the best policy.”
Paul gave Jackson an iceman glare, but it was Ben who spoke up. “We are being honest. Kat and I are friends. And that’s all the press needs to hear.”
Not that Ben was intimidating. Or that Jackson was worried about the status of his friendship with Ben. But when Ben said that, Jackson knew to cut the crap. If Ben didn’t want to tell the world that he was into Kat, Jackson wouldn’t be the one to say differently.
Chapter Thirteen ……
Grandma Gigi had given Kat a T-shirt last year. At the time, Kat thought it was kinda goofy, so she never wore it. But she’d been wearing it to sleep the past week, because it mirrored how she felt about life. The shirt had this simple little smiley face. And a simple little saying: Life is good.
Yep. Way good. She was dating Ben Wilder after all.
Kay. So not technically dating him. But not really “just friends” with him either. Something in between.
She had sorta been thinking that they were dating. They had seen each other every day since the end of the filming, with the exception of Sundays. And they’d kissed every one of those days. It felt like they were dating. But then ….
Last week, they’d been driving to the corporate offices to preview the video and out of the blue, Ben had said, “We need to slow down.”
Kat had thought that he was talking about his driving. She’d learned not to criticize his driving. So rather than saying “Thank you! 100 is terrifying on the parkway!” she had asked, “Did your radar detector go off?”
Ben had given her his dimple-smile and said, “Not the car, silly. Us.”
Her heart felt like it had just gotten a paper cut. Which was concerning. Because paper shouldn’t be anywhere inside her chest cavity.
Her face must have reflected that pain, because within seconds he had parked on the shoulder of the road. He reached up his hand and twirled her hair. “Don’t freak out, Kat. It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s not because I want to slow things down between us. I just have to.”
She had wanted to ask why. Was it Paul? Was it her parents? Had they—oh horror!—figured out who Kat had been spending so much time with and told him off?
Before she could say anything, Ben had continued, “Things are going to get crazy once the video is released. You’re going to be famous. It will be your fifteen minutes of fame thing. Your life will really be different for a while. I don’t think you need to add being Ben Wilder’s girlfriend into the mix.”
Whoa. Confusing. She had felt like she was trying to digest an entire Webster’s Dictionary in one sitting. There was a lot of info in those few sentences. The video was going to make her famous? But not for long? And she was Ben Wilder’s girlfriend? But she’s not anymore?
“Kat,” Ben had said. His voice was concerned. “You’re not blinking.” He also sounded a little amused. Then he leaned across the car and kissed her. Which was even more confusing.
She’d made progress in regards to her body not melting from Ben’s kisses. Her bones no longer liquefied like Jell-O. But they still went all rubbery, like a deflated bike tire. She could function—almost normally. Which was relieving
, because she was really worried after that first kiss. It had taken two whole days before her insides recovered: she’d begun to wonder if she’d have to get a bone transplant.
When Ben had pulled back from this kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers and moaned. “This is going to be so hard,” he whispered.
Kay, still confused. But she couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what her face looked like—she hadn’t been able to muster a fake smile or any expression of impassiveness. Then Ben laughed at her and said, with his voice all low and tender, “Oh, Kat, I’m not breaking up with you. I still feel the same about you. But I need to protect you from the media frenzy that will happen if everyone knows that we’re dating. We don’t need that kind of mayhem right now. It will ruin everything. So we have to say that we’re just friends. And we have to look the part.”
Well why didn’t he just say that from the start? Now she had that pesky little paper cut. And those take so long to heal—and always snag on sweaters and stuff. “Kay,” she had said. But it sounded half-hearted. She’d thought that they’d done a pretty good job keeping their relationship secret thus far. No one at school knew that Kat was still in contact with Ben. She’d still been using a pass from the studio that got her out of school anytime she needed. No one had bothered to ask if the filming was done, and she hadn’t bothered to tell. So Ben always picked her up from school fifteen minutes before the mass exodus. Everyone was clueless that Ben Wilder was driving into the student parking lot every day.
Even her parents didn’t know that she was seeing Ben every day. They knew that she went out with him occasionally, but they obviously didn’t know that she’d been skipping dance a couple times a week so she could spend more time with him. But she couldn’t that keep up much longer. Ms. Stella was starting to get irritated with Kat’s lack of interest.
“So we just need to scale back a little? Not see each other … every day?” she had asked, hopeful almost. Not that she didn’t want to see him every day. Because she would totally choose him over any of that other stuff: school, dance, … life in general. But she couldn’t do that. She had to exhibit some responsibility.