by Lisa Ladew
Bruin sucked in a breath and his hand shot to his left shoulder. He studied the picture of the broken, five-pointed star there.
“Cub whiskers,” he breathed, blinking hard. He’d never seen his own renqua before, that he could remember. The lines were straight and strong, with only one split in them, and a tiny, fat wing overlaid on the lower left point. An angel wing, maybe. If he squinted at the whole thing, he could see the pointy sailboat his brother had described.
He stared at the picture for a long time and rubbed the mark on his shoulder. Then, he couldn’t help it. Tears leaked out of his eyes and fell down his face. He’d never thought he would see his renqua again.
Bruin blinked away the tears. Mac pushed close to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on?”
He tried to speak. “Mac,” he forced out. “I didn’t have it before now. It just showed up. It wasn’t there yesterday.” He knew. He checked every morning.
Bruin gazed up the hill behind Willow’s house at the meadow that led to the hives, remembering how his shoulder had burned when Willow had touched it, how the image had come stronger than ever before.
Mac was speaking. Bruin tried to pay attention. “… you had a renqua.”
He still had Rogue’s phone gripped in his hand, but he turned on his friend. “I didn’t. I swear. I haven’t had one for most of my life. Didn’t you ever notice? You’ve seen me shift a few times.”
Mac shook his head. “No, I just thought your hair covered it. You’re pretty hairy. How could you not have a renqua?”
Bruin stared at his best friend and realized it was time to tell the whole truth, or at least as much of it as he could stand to hear come out of his mouth.
He gripped Rogue’s phone like a life raft, scared a little bit that admitting what had happened would make Rhen’s mark disappear again. He started slowly. “When the females were all killed, something happened to the bearen. I’m not sure how, but shortly after, all the bearen lost their renquas.”
Mac stared, his mouth dropping open. “All of them?”
Bruin nodded.
Mac sputtered, “But, that can’t happen unless they were taken away, can it?”
Bruin shrugged, his chest aching, his heart hurting. “It happened.”
Mac looked excited now. “You should call someone… see if anybody else got theirs back.”
Bruin stuck his free hand in his pocket and touched his phone. He couldn’t think of one bearen to ask, one bearen he was still on speaking terms with. Except maybe Conri.
“Here’s the thing,” he said, speaking slowly, working it out in his brain as he spoke. “Some of the bearen think I was responsible for losing our renquas.” Especially my own father.
Mac frowned. “You were four years old? How could you be responsible for it?”
Bruin dropped his head. “You know that thing I do sometimes? Where I say stuff I shouldn’t know anything about? Like what I told you about Rogue and her sister?”
Mac nodded.
Bruin gathered his courage. “I did that. A day before the females died, I said that Khain was trying to kill all the shiften, that he was planning on putting something in the water.” He shrugged. “I ah-well. I somehow knew about it before it happened. And well, ah, some of the bearen took that to mean that I was speaking to Khain. That when I went blank, I was talking to him.”
Rogue shook her head. “Wait, Bruin. You sound like you think you were in on it. How could that be if you were only four?”
Bruin shrugged, “I don’t know, but even some of my family thinks that maybe I could have done something to stop it, or that if I knew about it, it meant I was in on it.” Bruin faced Mac. “Remember when I told you about the Bear of Great Insight?” He recalled the prophecy, the last one a bearen Citlali had ever stated. Along with all bearen losing their renqua, the bearen Citlali had also lost their ability to receive prophecy.
Bruin took a deep breath and recited the prophecy. The one that the bearen had been hanging their hopes on for almost three decades. “The bearen have lost their way and now they will pay. Only the Bear of Great Insight can renew them, make them worthy again. Through the strength and purity of his choices and the caring of his One True Mate, all bearen will be restored to their former glory, able to work as one again.”
Bruin looked at each one of his friends in turn. Mac was frowning. Rogue looked surprised. Trent and Troy were exchanging a glance.
A thought struck him. “The Bear of Great Insight? Willow must belong to that guy. We have to tell Wade so that Wade can place a guard on her. I mean, we can be her guard for now, but we’ll have to tell Wade. Wade will know what to do until we figure out who the Great Bear is.”
Rogue held up her hands. “Bruin. I think you’re missing the obvious here. I think you’re right, Willow is a One True Mate, but she’s yours, Bruin. She’s your One True Mate.”
Bruin shook his head. “No, I don’t get one. None of the bears do until the Bear of Great Insight does.”
Rogue rolled her eyes. “Bruin, I think it’s pretty clear here that you are this Bear of Great Insight.”
Bruin stepped backwards until his rear end hit the truck and he could go no farther. He held up his hands. “No way. There’s no way it’s me. I’m an ok bear, but I’m not the smartest and I’m not the kindest and I’m not the most decorated or diplomatic. It’s not me.”
Rogue put her hands on her hips and leaned in, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She spoke slowly. “I know that I don’t know a lot of bears. In fact, I only know you, but I can’t imagine one who could be more sweet and kind and smart and handsome and diplomatic, or whatever you bears find important, than you.”
Mac gave a low, warning growl and Rogue flicked his arm. “Knock it off, fluffy. We talked about this already.”
Bruin stared at her for a long time, turning what she’d said over in his mind, before rejecting it.
No. It wasn’t him.
Chapter 18
Willow stood in the kitchen of the Honey Depot, peeking out the opening set in the wall that separated kitchen from dining area, watching as Bruin and his friends entered the restaurant. The guy with the blondish crew cut and the scary eyes was first, then Rogue, then Bruin. The two huge black dogs followed behind, not a leash in sight. As much as Willow wanted to watch Bruin, her eyes were on Rogue. Rogue was holding hands with the guy who had to be a cop. He treated her like she was fine china. Holding open the door for her, then glaring at people who got too close to her. Willow wanted a man to treat her like that. Her mind played out a silly fantasy of holding Bruin’s hand, him clearing a path for her, opening doors for her. She could still remember what it felt like to have him braid her hair, the way her back and scalp had tingled and her entire body had relaxed. She’d wanted to lean into him, to use him as a pillow, to stay there until night time and count stars with him, discover everything there was to know about him.
But then it had gotten weird.
She’d asked Bruin if he was an angel. He was the second man she’d said that to in two days, but even more surprising than that, Bruin’s answer and Soren’s answer had been exactly the same. “No, I’m a wolf.”
What in the hell did it all mean?
She’d given Pam instructions to seat Bruin and his friends on the outside patio and that’s where the waitress was leading them. Willow frowned as she watched the two police dogs follow behind them with their perfect manners.
No, I’m a wolf.
She’d thought the dogs were wolves when she’d first seen them, their strong, lean bodies racing after Soren. But they could not possibly be, could they? The Serenity police department could not be using wolves and trying to pass them off as dogs. These two dogs might be big, and look wild and alert, with eyes that narrowed in an almost human expression of analysis as they looked around the restaurant, but they were just dogs.
Willow looked closer, then gasped as she realized what she was seeing. Both dogs had thought-
forms, complex, dark-colored, and twisting thought-forms rising from their heads in the way humans did. She’d never been able to see a thought-form on an animal before, although she could pick up emotions from some animals. Simple emotions, like fear or relief, only.
What in the hell was going on?
She watched as the three people and two… dogs filed out on the back patio. She leaned against the wall and stared straight ahead. The cooking staff ignored her. Everyone was used to Willow acting strangely in some way, getting really quiet and pulling in on herself, or always knowing when something was wrong with someone.
Bruin had never asked her to explain her question. He’d never looked at her like she was crazy. Never shaken his head and said, “Angel? What are you talking about?” Instead, he’d blurted out that he was a wolf. Just like Soren. And now she had dogs that looked like wolves and acted like humans in her restaurant?
It was time for some answers. She pushed away from the wall and turned around, her decision made. She was going to march out to the patio and demand to know what was going on. What they were hiding from her.
But when she pushed open the kitchen door that led into the dining area, Rogue was standing there. Willow jumped and cried out.
Rogue smiled. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” Willow said back, laughing at herself for startling so badly.
“Remember me?”
Willow nodded. How could she forget? She’d been so drawn to Rogue when she’d first seen her in the restaurant a month ago, and she still felt the same way, like there was some sort of a connection between them. “Of course I do.” She glanced toward the patio. Bruin and the other male were sitting at a table. The two wolf-dogs were lounging on the ground behind them, their heads on their paws. She looked back to Rogue. “You’re friends with Bruin, huh?”
Rogue nodded. “Yeah. My boyfriend, Mac, is his best friend.” Rogue pointed to Mac.
Willow shivered. “Yeah, he’s scary.” She clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide, staring at Rogue. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say-”
Rogue cut her off, her expression softening as she gazed at her man. “Don’t apologize. You’re absolutely right. He’s scary.” She bit her lip. “Deliciously scary.”
Willow peered at her. “You like that?”
Rogue grinned, looking a little scary herself. “Love it. You’re coming over, right? To our table? You’re going to have lunch with us?”
Willow looked around. Honestly she didn’t have any reason to be in the kitchen. The lunch rush ran itself these days, but she was still feeling overwhelmed by Bruin and his friends. She nodded, though.
“Yeah, if I can.”
“I just wanted to tell you something about Bruin. He’s a great guy. You should give him a chance.”
Willow didn’t understand. “A chance?”
“He likes you. Can’t you tell?”
Willow blushed. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I guess I can.”
“And you like him back. Right?” Rogue nodded her head as if answering her own question, her eyes taking in Willow’s blush. “I’ll take that as a yes. Good deal.” Then she pushed out the door and disappeared.
Willow breathed deeply and watched through the window as Rogue returned to the table just outside the main dining area, joining her friends. She said something that made Mac laugh. Bruin looked sad, a deep and twisting magenta thought-form turning around him, but Willow couldn’t get any details from so far away. Not that she wanted to spy on him.
Mac’s thought-form was a fledgling orange, flaring as he ribbed Bruin, poking him on the shoulder and saying something to him, obviously trying to get him to smile.
Bruin’s thought-form untwisted slightly and opened up, paling to a sweet violet that told Willow Mac had made him feel better. Mac smiled.
Willow smiled, too. Maybe he wasn’t all scary.
***
Bruin tried to take a bite of the sandwich the waitress had brought him. He was sure it tasted good, but he couldn’t bring himself to force down more than a bit of it. Willow hadn’t come to the table yet. Had to be that she wasn’t coming at all. She had invited them to be polite, but she didn’t want anything more to do with him.
It didn’t matter, he told himself. It didn’t matter because she didn’t belong to him. She was a One True Mate, and that made her off limits to him. She belonged to someone else.
Rogue grappled with Mac over the last appetizer winning handily, and then leaned forward, catching his attention. “Let me ask you something, when one of you decides to date a human, do you break it to them at some point that you are… you know-” she gestured to Trent and Troy- “actual furries, or do you just keep it a secret? Do you not tell them at all if you don’t intend to mate with them?”
Bruin and Mac exchanged a glance, then Mac shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never gotten serious with a human. I guess I never saw a need to think about it.” He snorted and gestured to Bruin. “And Bruin there, he’s never even kissed a woman so I doubt he’s considered it either.”
Bruin looked very closely at his sandwich inspecting the meat and the cheese and the lettuce.
Mac hit the table with a fist. “You have got to be kidding me, Fozzie. Am I right? Have you really never kissed a woman?”
Bruin shrugged. “When I was a teenager, sure I kissed a few girls, but since then? No, I guess not. I never wanted to once I knew she wasn’t the one.”
Mac peered at him, brows lowered. “You’re kidding me. All this time I’ve been teasing you about this, and I was right.”
Bruin looked around to see if Trent and Troy were listening. They were. He leaned forward. “Believe me, I think about this kind of thing all the time, but she has to be the one. If it doesn’t feel right to me, I’m not going to lead her on. I’m not going to take anything from her that is not mine to take. Things have to feel right to me, Mac, and no, I’ve never met a woman who made me feel like she was mine, like I should be doing that kind of thing with her.”
Rogue spoke, her voice strangely controlled. “Is Willow the one?”
Bruin relaxed just at the sound of Willow’s name. He leaned back and tried not to think about the question because he knew the answer and it was wrong, so very wrong. Still, he but whispered, “Rhen help me, I think she is.”
Just then he caught sight of her inside the restaurant moving slowly, her arms filled with dishes. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her hair was still braided up around her head, the dainty flowers that were nowhere near as beautiful and unique as she was peeking out at intervals.
Mac sniffed the air. “I smell pie.”
Bruin licked his lips as he watched Willow move about, inside. He could smell pie, too, and it made him think of Willow. Of touching her. Of being with her. Of pretending she didn’t belong to someone else. Bruin could feel Rogue’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help himself. He blushed and looked down.
Rogue called him out. “Bruin, are you thinking of Willow’s pie?”
Bruin hung his head, “I’m a bad bear.”
“Holy shit,” Rogue said. “I can’t believe I’m the only one who sees what’s going on here.” She grabbed Bruin by the arm, “Look, Willow’s a One True Mate. She’s your mate. That’s all there is to it. Bruin you’ve got to believe it. Just because you’re not trying to rip somebody’s throat open with your teeth for looking at her doesn’t mean that she’s not your mate. You’re a bear, you’re different.”
Bruin shrugged, “I’m not that important. My own father told me that many times. I don’t get a mate, at least not before the BOGI does.”
“The what?” Mac said.
“You know, the BOGI, the Bear of Great Insight.”
Troy snorted inside Bruin’s head. Might as well call him Yogi.
“What?” Bruin said, his eyes still on Willow.
You know, Yogi Bear.
“Yogi? I think I’ve heard of him. He’s a fire inspector, right?”
Mac sprayed lau
ghter but Rogue ignored him. She squeezed Bruin’s arm. “You’ve got to ask her out. Tonight. We’ll help you through it. You just get her to say yes, and then we’ll find out once and for all if she’s your mate. I swear I’ll prove to you that she is your mate, Bruin.”
Bruin didn’t say a word.
If only he could believe it.
***
Willow thanked the customer and waved to him as he walked away, trying not to see his thoughts. Too late. He’d loved the Reuben but thought the honey on the side was weird. And… pretentious? Something like that. She bit her tongue so she didn’t stick it out at his back, thinking, not all restaurants have to do things the exact same way, you know, Mr. food critic.
She expertly gathered up his dishes, not letting herself think about why she hadn’t gone out to the patio yet. They had to be done eating by now, and she hadn’t demanded or received one answer. Oh, except that Bruin ‘liked’ her, according to Rogue. She’d already figured that one out for herself, though. Add in the fact that she ‘liked’ him back, and she really had no idea why she hadn’t gone out there yet.
The people at the tables around her stopped talking, all of them glancing behind her, with worried looks on their faces. She turned around, knowing what she would see. Mac, the scary one, scowling his way to the bathroom, probably.
But no. It was Bruin. She looked around, wondering why everyone seemed scared of him, or at least nervous. Sure, he was big. But he was a teddy bear. Couldn’t they see that?
He stopped in front of her, taking the dishes out of her hands, holding on to them, like he couldn’t stand to see her lift a finger, like he wanted to do her work for her. “Hey,” he said, smiling his gentle smile at her.
“Hi,” she breathed, smiling back. God, he looked good. Big. Broad. Strong. Sweet. Such an incredible combination it made her lick her lips.
His eyes went to her tongue. He licked his own lips, then looked back up at her, his expression completely open, honest. “My friends want to go out tonight. I’d like it if you would go with us.” His expression turned intense. “On a date. With me.”