Occasionally—when Flynn remembered I was still there—he’d turn to look at me. He’d gently squeeze my thigh, and ask if I was okay. I wasn’t really, but I’d had no choice other than to put on a brave face, smile and nod.
Lee and Simone spoke to me a few times, but the others were wrapped up in the excitement of their new band, and it had been hard to get a word in edgeways. A few times after that I’d tried to catch Simone’s eye, but she seemed completely at ease with the new people, and I was deep in conversation with the others.
By the time we left, I was seething with both Lexi and Flynn. Lexi had slid out of her seat and had pretended to stumble into Flynn, and he’d instantly caught her. My heart sank when he fussed over whether she’d hurt herself before he continued to guide her out of the narrow space. My eyes centered on the hand he’d left it in place on her lower back as we walked out of the restaurant.
Lee had walked with me, and we left together in an awkward silence. They’d all been drinking wine apart from Lee and me, and once outside, Lee had hailed a cab for Lexi. Flynn opened the door for her and settled her inside. I stood quietly watching the exchange, and I’d felt more humiliated by the minute with his behavior.
Smiling she unwound the window and I clenched my teeth when he stuck his head inside. He’d said something I couldn’t hear that made her giggle, and I’d wanted to throat punch both of them for making me feel uncomfortable. As the cab pulled away from the sidewalk, Flynn watched after the cab until it was a dot in the distance. My feelings were all over the place. I’d never experienced jealously or hurt to that degree before.
I’d been about to snub him when Jonah came over to where I stood, and touched my forearm to gain my attention, I turned to look at him and tried to hide my feelings of irritation, “Hey, we haven’t been introduced properly. I’m Jonah, and you’re Valerie, my new boss, right?” he’d said holding out his hand for me to shake. My efficient business sense took over momentarily, and I smiled at him. Maybe because of how Flynn had made me feel, I’d noted how handsome he was. Noting the glint of mischief in his eyes briefly lightened my mood.
“That I am—I’m the one you really have to impress,” I’d joked and was rewarded with a soft chuckle.
“Well, I have to say that I’m honored to have such a beautiful manager. You should be on the stage not behind the scenes.”
“And flattery will get you nowhere,” I teased back.
“Damn, and here was I thinking—”
“Well, don’t fucking think. You’re my drummer, unless you’re into any other kind of beating I’d stay well away from my girl.”
“No offense, Flynn, I was just remarking on how beautiful my new boss is. For work, I’ll just think of her as some ugly, toothless, balding guy wearing greasy pants.”
Flynn let his previous remark slide and chuckled, “Yeah, now you’re getting the idea, we’re going to get along just fine.”
I stared incredulously at Flynn, annoyed with how he was behaving like a caveman in his handling of Jonah when seconds before he’d been all over ‘Sexy Lexi’. If he thinks I’m going to sit around and ignore his flirty behavior around salacious band members and groupies, he has another thing coming.
“Don’t mind him, Jonah, I think your compliment is lovely, feel free to flatter me anytime,” I’d shot back. Flynn’s brow bunched together as he scowled at me, his eyes darkening while a stony expression replaced his smile. He chewed his lip but said nothing while Lee waved down another passing cab and left to collect our car.
“Get in. Call Javier on the number you have tomorrow and a car will pick you up. Practice begins at our place at 11:00 am. Don’t be late.” Flynn said, sternly to poor Jonah who had unwittingly walked into the invisible minefield that had been laid between Flynn and me.
Javier had slipped into the role of public relations, schedule manager and spokesperson, and was fast proving to be a great choice for the job. He was gaining knowledge every day and from what I saw, used his own contacts to establish opportunities for promotion.
When Lee drove up with the SUV, I slipped into the back beside Simone, still furious with how Flynn had conducted himself. Tori Kelly was singing, “I Was Made For Loving You,” and it seemed pretty poignant that it was playing. I said nothing on the ride home but listened to Flynn going on to Craig about how cool Lexi was and how awesome a find she was for the band.
Personally, I thought Jonah had way more talent than her, he just didn’t wear fuck me heels or have a cleavage that promised a horny oversexed rock star a place to bury his face in. Flynn had walked a fine line, but he hadn’t crossed it, however by the time we arrived home I felt pretty insecure and wondered if the shine was starting to fade between Flynn and me already.
As soon as we entered the house, I went straight upstairs and showered for bed. I’d left the others in the den buzzing about the new band members. For the first time since I’d left home, I was worried I’d perhaps made a mistake in ignoring Martin’s warning about Flynn.
I was drying my hair when Flynn came into the bedroom and saddled up behind me. Bending to kiss my neck he swept my hair away from it to fall over my breasts. He hugged me tightly with my back to his chest. I stiffened in response and peered up at his reflection in the mirror.
“So, babe, what do you think about the choices for the band members? I think they’re gonna be great. We just need to figure out a name for us now. For the first time in months, I can’t wait to get to rehearsals tomorrow.”
“And that would have nothing to do with Lexi, right?” I retorted and sounded like the jealous teenager I was. I felt annoyed with myself and wasn’t able to hide how he’d made me feel.
“She’s a really nice girl, a great bass player as well, and she writes, so I can’t wait to do some new tunes with her.”
“Is that all you want to do with her, Flynn?”
Flynn released his grip and turned me around, his face registered how annoyed he was, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You all but ignored me at dinner tonight. Lexi had your attention, and every now and then you’d remember I was there and ask me if I was okay. You never actually said anything at all to me during dinner.”
“Sure I did.”
“Nope, you didn’t. What made it worse was Lee and Simone noticed and spoke to me to cover up that I was completely out of my depth with your conversations.”
Flynn chewed his lip and began emptying the contents of his pockets onto the dresser, loosening his belt and unbuttoning the fly of his jeans. “Nonsense. We were talking music that’s all.”
“And you’ve just dismissed my feelings, Flynn. Never mind, I’m going to bed,” I said, feeling even worse than before I’d said anything.
“Whatever’s going on is all in your head, Valerie. You’re it for me. There is no one that compares.”
“Then you won’t mind me talking to Jonah if it’s all business between you and Lexi.”
Flynn growled and pulled me against him. “It’s not the same thing. I saw that look he gave you. It wasn’t innocent, Valerie.”
“And I saw, Lexi’s. What exactly does she need to do for you see it as well, Flynn? She was hitting on you right in front of me, and you let her.”
Flynn shook his head, “Valerie you’re being irrational. Once we get started, you’ll see we’re nothing but musicians in the same band. I’m not being attentive toward her in a sexual way. I’m only interested in how good she is for our comeback. The fact we get along is a plus. I’ve had enough issues with bandmates to last me a lifetime.”
“And that includes guiding her with your hand resting just above her butt? I’ve had enough partners cheat on me to last me a lifetime. Food for thought, Flynn, you’ll have to suck up the fact that I’ll be spending time with Jonah. I’m his manager too, remember.”
Pulling back the comforter, I slid into bed and felt he hadn’t tried to reassure me at all. I’d seen the starry-eyed glances she’d been giving him. From wh
ere I’d been seated I wasn’t able to see Flynn’s face during the time they’d spoken with one another, but I’d made a mental note that I wouldn’t make that mistake again the next time.
Sliding in beside me, Flynn asked, “What’s with the pajamas?”
“I’m cold.”
“Come here, I’ll warm you up,” he said huskily as he spooned behind me.
“I’m tired, Flynn. We have a long day tomorrow,” I said, rebuffing his advance toward me. I was never going to be one of those girls that used sex to keep someone. They had to stay because I meant more to them than that.
Flynn took a deep breath and sighed, “Valerie, you’re going to have to harden up and learn to ignore other women around me. Playing in a band attracts lots of hot girls that want me to fuck them. It doesn’t mean I want that too. I love you with all my heart, babe. All. Of. It. Remember that. It doesn’t stop the world from going round where other people are concerned.”
When I didn’t respond, he sighed deeply but kept his grip on me. I swallowed noisily, as salty tears stung my eyes. What had happened with my previous two boyfriends had taught me that what boys said, and what they did weren’t always the same thing. For the first time since Flynn and I had been together, we lay in bed not speaking to each other until we finally fell asleep.
Chapter 5 ~ Valerie
Bad feeling
Early snow covered the landscape outside Flynn’s bedroom window. We’d both been distant before we’d gone to bed and neither of us had closed the drapes. Flynn was sound asleep facing away from me, and my heart had still felt heavy from the night before. I quietly gathered some clothes and slipped out of his room. I made my way down the hall to one of the spare rooms to shower.
Dressing casually in jeans and a sweater, I headed downstairs to the kitchen. It was only 7:00 am and still dark. I made some coffee and sat quietly looking out of the glass sliders at the virgin snow on the lawn and wondered what I should do. I’d given up almost everything for him at the drop of a hat. What if Flynn finds her more fun than me? Lexi gave me a bad feeling.
About ten minutes later, I heard hurried footsteps on the wooden stairs. It got my attention, and I turned to see Flynn standing in the hallway, naked from the waist up in a pair of faded jeans and bare feet. The look of relief on his face was reassuring, “Jesus, Valerie, you scared the life out of me. I wondered where you’d gone.”
Taking a deep breath I stared at his worried face, and I guessed he’d thought I’d run out on him. “I’m here. I just couldn’t sleep,” I stated flatly.
“Come back to bed it’s still early,” he said.
I shook my head, there was no way I’d have gotten into bed again because I’d have ended up having sex with him. That wasn’t happening until I was sure Lexi wasn’t suddenly my competition.
“There’s stuff I want to get done this morning. You go on—I’ll work in the den until 10:30 am then have breakfast before we go down to the gym for your rehearsal.
“You’re coming to watch us rehearse?” he said, sounding surprised.
I was hurt and little taken aback that he’d even asked that question, “Of course I am, Flynn. I want to take pictures, and discuss the band’s image with Simone. I also want to get a feel for what I need to promote and manage. I can’t do that from somewhere else.”
“Is that the only reason you’re coming, because if this is about Lexi…”
“Why would it be about her, Flynn? Why would you even bring that up? She’s obviously on your mind,” I stated, as my heart sunk to my stomach that he’d mention her so readily.
“I’m just worried that you are still upset about yesterday and as it was about her last night...”
“Good, then bear that in mind today when she gets touchy feely with you as she no doubt will,” I said, dryly.
Flynn stared me down, his brow bunching at the bridge of his nose and he shook his head. He let out a deep sigh, and sounded frustrated, “Jealous, Valerie? That doesn’t sound like you. You have nothing to fear, babe. I keep telling you, I’m in this for the long haul.”
“The very line Daryl said many times, Flynn,” I retorted.
“And I’m not fucking Daryl,” he responded, angrily.
“You promised me honesty, Flynn. I figured you deserve the same. I can’t help how I feel. How you made me feel.”
Opening his arms, Flynn enveloped me against his naked chest and kissed the top of my head. My body steeled at his touch, my resolve not to cave into him initially resolute, but when my cheek rubbed against his warm, smooth skin, I felt my anger melt away.
“I’m not those guys, Valerie. I don’t ever want to let you down. I have a job to do, and Lexi is a colleague. I could have said the same about some of your male models, Valerie. I respect the fact it’s what you do to make a living.”
Flynn released me from his hold, turned away and walked over to the coffee pot. When he hadn’t expected a reply, I realized he hadn’t been opening the subject for discussion, but instead merely stating a fact.
Taking a mug from the stand he poured himself a coffee before placing it on the table as he sat down opposite me. He waited for eye contact before speaking again.
“The only reason this won’t work between us is if you let all the lies, lifestyles and shit surrounding me in my job mess with your head. I love you so fucking hard, babe, but you really have to think about this before we go any further. I won’t tolerate having my trust questioned every day. I don’t want to live like that. The last thing I need is my girl, who incidentally is going to be my manager, developing insecurities, and bailing out on me.”
That was one truth I could bank on. I was his manager, as well as his girlfriend. I’d volunteered myself for both roles, and it was no time to waver in my confidence. Suddenly, I felt as if I hadn’t been fair, but I knew no matter how hard I tried, I’d have a hard time forgetting how I’d felt at that table the night before, so I had to stay strong about my feelings.
There was no way I was going to accept any ambiguous behavior from him no matter what he did for a living. There were two people in this relationship, and my feelings mattered. I’d been hurt too much in the past to let that happen again.
“Sorry, I realize you have a job to do, and maybe I had a lapse of my professional judgment—it won’t happen again. However, dinner last night wasn’t band time; we were supposed to be socializing, except when it came to that, I was spectating at that table. If you ever treat me like that again, I won’t be so fucking quiet about it.”
Flynn’s face softened as his emerald eyes met mine. He stared intently as he reached over the table and took my hand in his. With a half-smile, he said, “Seriously, Valerie, I’d never have taken you from your home and brought you here if my intentions weren’t to be in this for the long haul. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to interact freely with other people, both men and women. It’s my job to be nice to people. Can you handle that?”
I had the same horrible feeling in my stomach like the one time the school principal threatened to call my parents. I hadn’t liked what he’d said, but I knew unless there was something concrete about Lexi, I had to let my feelings slide.
I nodded, and Flynn reached across the table, placing his palm against my face. I angled my head and leaned into it. He let go, stood and came over beside me, stepping close, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me against his hips. “I’m taking you to bed, Valerie. Let me show you how much you mean to me. This is about you and me. Our lives. Nothing is coming between us, I won’t let it. Lexi is right for the band. That’s it. That’s all. Understand?”
I could have sat there and argued my point or accepted that he was right. He’d been lax in his attention to me, but when I’d viewed it from his perspective, I understood he had to form a working relationship with his bass player. I could have excused his hand on her back as an absent-minded thing because he did that to me all the time. However, Lexi was another matter. I was a woman and her thinly disg
uised attempt to hit on Flynn warranted my attention.
His reassurance settled my thoughts, and my brain fell quiet. I slid out of my chair and stood beside him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I leaned into his warm chest and pressed my cheek to his smooth bare, inked shoulder. The smell of him was alluring and familiar at the same time. My instincts told me it was my safe place. Flynn scooped me up into his strong arms and took me back to bed.
I briefly wondered if perhaps my insecurity was environmental, due to my change in surrounds, and having new people around me. At home, I’d had advice coming out of my ears from my family, but choosing to be with Flynn, there was no one in Chicago I knew well enough that I could confide in. We were both still so young, but our experiences had made us take chances most others our age would never have been ready for.
Within five minutes of being in bed with Flynn, I felt completely centered again. “I’m gonna show you how much I love you, Valerie. Never doubt me,” he said, with feeling as he kissed me and smoothed his hands over every exposed inch of skin.
When he rolled me onto my stomach, I’d caught sight of my scattered clothing he’d lovingly stripped from my body while he’d kissed, and fondled my every curve. With a level of tenderness I’d barely known, he laid me on the bed. Smiling he undid his jeans and shoved them down his legs. Once he’d stepped out of them, he slowly stalked over to me on his hands and knees to cover my body with his.
A loving smile creased the skin under his beautiful green eyes as his warm ragged breath blew across my back. Goose bumps plagued my skin in response to yet more kisses he’d peppered over my neck, the sensation of his ministrations flooded every vessel in my body, and made my cheeks flush with pleasure.
“I love you so much it hurts, Valerie. Don’t ever doubt that,” he whispered softly from behind as his hands swept slowly up my legs, over the globes of my butt and up to my shoulders. When he’d laid his warm hard body over my mine, I wasn’t expecting that at all. His physical weight crushed all doubts when his scent surrounded me, igniting fire and love deep in my heart.
Ready For Flynn, Part 2 : A Rockstar Romance (The Ready For Flynn) Page 5