by Noire
Instead, I called Tai. “Girl, that food was nasty last night.”
She thought I was giving her a compliment.
“Thanks, Sauce. I told you I put my toe in it.”
“Well, you must got some athlete’s foot going on because I feel real sick this morning.”
“Well ain’t you a bitch!” Tai hollered into the phone. “Why do you being sick have to be related to my food? Free ate it, right? Did he get sick?”
“Uhn-huh!” I lied. “He didn’t sleep all night. I was up holding him while he threw that shit up all over the bathroom. Maybe it was something in the greens, huh? I told you about eating that pork, Tai. It ain’t no good for you and it makes you fat.”
“Uh-ha!” Tai screeched. “I busted your ass! You said you was feeding some little old lady at a nursing home, Saucy! You are such a big-ass liar. I can’t believe shit you say!”
“Calm down, Tai! I did feed that old lady! But that was a whole lotta food! How much you think one little shriveled-ass old woman can eat? I took the leftovers to Free last night, that’s what happened. Damn!”
“Whatever, Saucy. You don’t appreciate shit I do for you. You got issues, girl. And I mean that shit.”
“I didn’t mean nothing by it, Tai. I was just telling you in case you still had some food left over and was gonna eat it. I’m just trying to look out for you girl!”
“Yeah. Good looking out. But I already told you, I don’t eat like that no more. I’m making some healthy choices in my life these days. You know. Cutting out all the bullshit that doesn’t benefit me.”
The way she said it made me think she might be talking about me.
“I gotta be outta this apartment in two weeks,” I said, changing the subject. “I’m looking for someplace to stay, but so far ain’t nothing shaking.”
“What happened with Marshall?” she asked.
“Long story. But basically I just can’t deal with him no more. You know? I see his wife looking happy at all them big-time Black Diamond events, grinning all up in his face, when I know damn well how much he wants to be with me. He said he’s gonna divorce her so he can be mine full-time, but even still. I just can’t do that no more. It’s killing him that I’m breaking things off, but it’s what I gotta do.”
“Well that’s smart. Neither you nor his wife should be making life so convenient for that nigga. I don’t care how paid he is. But at least when his wife bounces she has her own cheese to take with her. She’s smart and beautiful. That new jewelry line is really working for her and those magazine ads with her cute little boys makes people want to go out and buy her designs, but where is all this gonna leave you?”
Ass out, but I wasn’t gonna fess up to that shit.
“Oh, I’m good,” I said real quick. “You know Free is still large in this game, no matter what went down at Ruthless. He could one day be as large as Marshall, but the good part is, he don’t have no wife and kids clocking him.”
Tai seemed surprised. “Oh? Free is gonna let you stay with him? You sure about that?”
“Yeah,” I said with some attitude. “I’m sure. Why wouldn’t he, Tai? We’ve been kicking it for a minute.”
“Oh, okay. I just thought…you know.”
“Nah,” I said. “I don’t know.” I felt myself getting defensive. I was the one sucking Free’s dick. Not Tai. “What are you tryna say? Did you hear something different from Free?”
“Saucy. Whatever you and Free do is between y’all. I work with him a lot, but I’m not in his business like that. I was just surprised to hear you say he was sick and in the bed with you this morning because I know he flew to Vegas before the sun came up.”
How in the fuck did she know?!? Free hadn’t even told me where he was going!
“You know Jaheim rolled with him,” she went on. “I dropped him off at the airport at five this morning and Free was already there so I know he got on that flight.”
Jaheim?!? I couldn’t stand his bony ass. I didn’t know why Tai was dropping his gay behind off. I’d run into him when I was out partying one night and tried to get with him. That herb acted like I was offering him some poison instead of some pussy!
I rolled my eyes. “Did I say what time in the morning Free was with me, Tai? No. I didn’t. Look,” I snapped. I was ready to get off the damn phone now. “Some baller is beeping in on my other line. I gotta go. Later.”
I had four days left when Free finally came by to see me. He had been back in New York for a couple of days, but every time I called him he claimed he was taking care of business and would call me back when he could.
Well that didn’t do nothing but piss me off. I had gone clubbing while he was in Vegas and met this rapper named Quaison from the Lower East Side. He was onstage spittin’ but he was only half decent. He musta spotted me out there dancing because he asked one of his homeys to bring me a drink.
That nigga didn’t even know how long my throat was! I drank up all his dollas and left him with no cents! I ended up going home with him that night and we hit some lines and did the wild thang until his dick was sore. Quaison lived with his mother in a one-bedroom apartment. For some reason his moms slept on a pull-out bed in the living room, giving Quai the tiny little bedroom right off the kitchen. We was high as hell, hitting lines until my eyes felt like they was bulging outta my head. Quai put on a condom and started banging my pussy so good I began screaming like somebody was slaying my ass.
“Shut the fuck up!” he hissed, fucking me even deeper. “My moms is sleeping in the living room!”
I kept right on yelling. That shit felt damn good, and if his moms hadn’t known he was in there hitting skins, she damn sure knew now. What did she think we was gonna do back there when we tiptoed past her bed at four in the damn morning?
“You down for some freaky shit?” Quai had asked me when we first got to his room. Shit, I was lifted and buzzed and feeling like a superhero. I was down for any damn thing.
“Let’s make us a fuck tape, baby,” he said, and whipped out the camera. “We can see which one of us got the best game going, bet?”
I looked at the lines on the dresser and the half a bottle of Patrón on the floor and said, fuck it. Why not? I liked the way my body looked naked and yeah, I’d done a few backroom productions on a couple of video sets. Plus, this nigga was challenging me. Tryna stunt like he might possibly have a better sex game than me. Later for that!
I worked on Quai like he was my pet project. I put my legendary brain game down on him with my finest skills and he repaid me by sucking my clit until I screamed so loud I knew damn well his mama was woke! Quai sucked my toes, licked my back, and my ass too, and I had to admit he was a contender for real. That boy had me sweating and moaning and sticky with cum when he finally told me to look up and smile.
“Say ‘brainiac’ baby,” he clowned.
I lifted my sweaty face toward the camera and stuck both my middle fingers up in the air, then grabbed the Patrón and quenched my thirst.
Fucking around with Quai had been a whole lotta fun, but now I was trying to get with Free. I could tell the nigga was ducking and dodging me and I was right at the point where I decided I was gonna call him one more damn time, and if he played me, I’d give Quaison a call and see what he had poppin’. His crib near Baruch Houses was straight hood, but inside it was pretty decent. Thanks to Free, I might have to make a move downtown instead of crosstown.
But Free surprised me and came by my apartment real early the next morning.
“Sorry I didn’t buzz you first,” he said, looking around like I mighta had a nigga stashed in the crib. He just didn’t know. Fucking him up in here is what had me scrambling for somewhere to stay now.
Free was driving his ugly Honda but I climbed in that baby like it was a Mercedes. It was barely seven o’clock in the morning and I was still tired. My head hurt and I felt dizzy from all the sticky I had smoked the night before. As soon as he took off driving I closed my eyes and crashed out, and when I w
oke up again Free was nudging my arm.
“Saucy,” he said. “It time to roll out. You aiight?”
I lifted my head and looked around.
“Damn,” he said and reached toward me. “You got some spit leaking out ya mouth, Mami. Lemme get that.”
I struggled to wake up as he wiped my mouth, then I stretched and sat all the way up. We were sitting in Free’s driveway, outside of that horrible little shack in Jersey. I really didn’t care where we were, it was too damn early and I was tired. I just wanted to go inside and crawl in the bed and crash.
As soon as we walked in the door I took off my shoes and stretched out on the sofa. Free cut on the miniature TV, but I wasn’t tryna strain my eyes looking at that shit. I dozed off again and when I woke up Free was standing in front of me holding out a plate of scrambled eggs and some toast.
“Damn, girl! You musta shut the damn club down last night. What time did you get home, five minutes before I rang your bell?”
I sat up and shook my head, and that’s when the whole damn room got stupid. The smell of the eggs hit my stomach hard, and I threw up all over Free’s ancient coffee table.
“Damn,” he said, trying to stick the plate under my chin to catch what was coming out my mouth. Just the sight of those damn eggs made my skin crawl, and I pushed the plate away and heaved again.
“You’re sick, Saucy,” Free said, softly.
Tell me some shit I don’t know, is what I woulda said if I could have.
He took me in the bathroom and stayed with me, holding me as I threw up water and yellow sludge and cried at the same time.
When I finally managed to stop Free put me in his bed and covered me up, then went in the bathroom to clean up my mess. The house was so small I could smell the bleach he was disinfecting with, and I stuck my head under the covers real quick so I didn’t throw up all in his bed.
Free came back in the room and took off his clothes. He got in the bed with me and just held me and rubbed my back. He was whispering sweet shit like, you gonna be all right baby, and don’t worry, Free is here. I drifted back off again and when I woke up I felt a little bit better.
I slept all day, and that night Free woke me up and told me to drink a cup of hot tea. It was nice and sweet and felt good to my stomach while I was drinking it, but minutes later I was bringing it back up again.
“Damn, baby,” Free said as he helped me into the bathroom. My legs were trembling and I felt so weak I couldn’t stand up by myself. I clung to him as he wrapped his strong arms around me and wiped my face and my mouth.
“I’m taking you to the doctor, Saucy,” Free said after my fourth bout of heaving. By now my lips were dry and I was feeling faint. Free had been cleaning up behind me all day and he was acting real concerned. As sick as I was, I liked it that he was focused on me and I was enjoying his attention. “You probably got the flu or something, but you need to let somebody check you out,” he insisted.
I didn’t wanna go see no doctors, but I was too sick to argue with him so when I woke up the next morning and I was still feeling sick, I let him put me in the car and we bounced. The hospital wasn’t that far, and when we got there Free took me straight to the emergency room.
This wasn’t New York City and I could damn sure tell. Instead of waiting five hours to see a doctor we waited less than two. They had already taken blood tests and made me pee in a plastic cup, and when the doctor came in to see me I was stretched out on the exam table and Free was standing over me, kissing my forehead and playing with my hair.
“Well, Ms. Robinson,” he said, pulling a stool out from under the desk and sitting down. “It looks like we’ve discovered the reason you’re feeling so badly.”
“Flu, right?” Free said, looking at me all proud like he had already made some grand diagnosis. “She’s got the flu, don’t she!”
“Oh,” the doctor said. He stood up and patted me on the arm. “There’s a flu going around all right, but Ms. Robinson doesn’t have it. She’s pregnant.”
Chapter 16
I don’t know who cried harder, Free or me.
I mean, I had the tears coming all out my eyes and running down my face. Free’s tears was in his heart, but I could still see them shits.
That nigga wasn’t half as shocked as I was. I had never been one of them women who got real heavy periods, but as far as I could remember I hadn’t missed a single one. I had told the doctor that and he said that wasn’t unusual. He told me and Free that some women continue to get their periods for nine months and end up shocked as shit when they sit on the toilet and a baby falls out.
“Has your appetite increased?” the doctor asked.
Free answered. “She barely eats. I ain’t never seen nobody eat as little as she does.”
“So you haven’t gained any weight?”
I looked at Free, and we both shook our heads. “If anything,” I told him, “I’ve probably lost some of my booty.”
“I want you to tell me the truth, Saucy,” Free said, squeezing my hands. We were back at his house standing in the kitchen. The doctor had estimated that I was about sixteen weeks pregnant. I had been kicking it with Free for just a little longer than that. “You been with anybody else? Could this be somebody else’s baby?”
I broke all the way down.
“Nooooo!” I wailed, like my heart had been stomped on. “How could you even ask me some shit like thattttt?” Snot and tears were flying off my face as I shook my head back and forth hysterically.
“I been with you, Free! Nobody else but you!”
“I ’on’t know, girl. You keep a lot of talk flying around—”
“I thought you said you was your own fuckin’ judge! You said you didn’t even listen to none of them stupid-ass rumors that go around!”
“Still—”
“I don’t want no fuckin’ baby, Free! I made sure you used a wrapper every single time!”
He stared at me for a second, then pulled me close to him, holding me tight.
“But one broke, baby,” he said quietly. “Don’t you remember? The plastic broke the first night we got together, yo.”
We stayed pressed together like that, rocking each other. I didn’t even think about Marshall or Quaison, or that other nigga I’d fucked the night I passed out drunk.
We spent the night holding each other and fucking slowly and quietly. Free’s hands were all over me, touching every part of me. He kissed my lips tenderly and sucked on my tongue. I screamed out loud when he pushed my knees back and slid down and buried his face between my legs and licked my slit deeply, sliding his tongue in and out of me, swirling it around my clit. I rubbed his head and arched my pussy up toward him, pulling his face down to meet my thrusts.
I came in Free’s mouth twice, and that seemed to turn him on even more. I wanted to give him some head, but I was scared to put his big dick in my mouth. Just the thought of anything near my throat made me think I was gonna start throwing up again. Free understood, and when he rolled me on top of him and gripped my ass, lowering me down on his throbbing dick, neither one of us bothered worrying about a rubber at that point.
When I say that was some of the best dick I’d ever had, I mean it. I felt it all in my soul.
“Oh, Free…I love you…” I whispered, sucking his nipple and tracing circles around it with my tongue. And the four words my boo whispered back to me were the best I had ever heard. It wasn’t like we was just straight-out fucking. Free was feeding me from the center of his self, and I was lapping that nourishment up like a starving cat. When it was over Free rolled me off him and kissed my stomach tenderly, then put his hand on its flatness and slept.
But I stayed awake for a real long time thinking about how I could play this shit to my advantage. I was in Free’s heart and loving it. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t want no baby, but maybe having a kid by Free wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I couldn’t see me as nobody’s mother, but I knew Free would be the best damn father in the
world.
The sun was coming up by the time I closed my eyes. I had thought real long and hard throughout the night, and I decided this wasn’t the worst thing that coulda happened to me. I was actually tired of running from nigga to nigga to get my sticky off. Free was a complete package in the sheets and out. I wasn’t lacking nothing in his bed, and now that I had him back on lock I could only see the sex getting even better.
The next afternoon Free drove me back to New York. After that bomb-ass pipe he had laid between my legs the night before and then breaking down and whispering how deep he felt for me, Free was real moody during the day like he wished none of it had happened. I kept quiet in the car because I figured he was mad at himself for saying the L word because it had probably been his dick talking and he didn’t really mean it. Well fuck him too! Neither did I! But I still needed his ass. I had two days left to stay in Marshall’s apartment and I had been selling his shit off so fast there was hardly any furniture left in the joint.
When Free pulled up outside the apartment I didn’t know how to be. He didn’t even put the car in park, he just sat there with his foot on the brake so I knew this was a drop-off and nothing else.
“See ya later,” I said. I was pissed but I wasn’t gonna let him see it. This motherfucker must not know! I hadn’t stayed up busting my brain all damn night for nothing. I was up crunching numbers and what-if-ing scenarios to death. Free mighta lost a whole lot with Ruthless, but it took cash to run an apartment as phat as the one he kept in Manhattan, so I knew he still had a decent amount of bank left. I was the one carrying his motherfuckin’ baby, not the other way around. He could act shitty if he wanted to, but eventually brothah was gonna hafta recognize!
Free almost clipped my ass in the door he pulled off so fast. He left me standing there on the curb, sucking down his fumes. I went upstairs and looked around Marshall’s half-empty apartment and sat down on a big beanbag. I had sold the living room furniture to a lady who lived on the third floor and the money I’d gotten for it might have to go toward renting yet another damn hotel room.